All Comments on 'The Guitar Player Ch. 04'

So far a well crafted story with tremendous potential.

fresh thing to read, cant wait for the next chapter

Really enjoying the story. Well written but too short. Just getting into it when it stops. 4 stars

Love it

Still enjoying the story, but I wish we were getting larger installments than two pages. I know, I'm sort of an ingrate, complaining about something I'm getting for free.

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I'm a little curious why he didn't book studio time in NYC to record and release those two songs before his ex could.

What happened to it being a story in 4 parts released on consecutive days? The 2nd page here hardly counts either...

why change the nice guy and make him a heel.he likeable and opposite of tanya.

I like the way it is going. I think it's the best way to get back at a narcissistic bitch. Thanks

So where's the 3rd paragraph?

Great stuff! I hope he pulls back from the brink before revenge consumes him...

...but not before he has obliterated Tanya. I imagine todd will fall to the wayside under his own failings. Gripping story!

Dude you did not have to break this up in so many parts. And a lot of it a waste of space.

Jesus fucking Christ! FTDS!!

Don't like the 'Don't care who I had to tread on' line. Does that include Claire, Dawn and Allison who he dragged from their lives? What about Alex who's trying to help him too? What of all the people who supported him with the news agency?

I trust he was totally truthful about the accusations against him when trying to get Dawn to join him.

Again just two pages of which half of the first page was a recap.. 1*

That was ridiculously short. That wasn't a chapter, it was a scene. This hurts the flow of the story and your scores. Just post the whole damn thing, PLEASE!

Good chapter!

5

Every chapter is too short. It would have been better to release larger chapters, or even combine them all to one release since they appear to be 2 pages each.

Longer installments please

I'll finish the story once the last chapter is posted. Each time I get a feel for the plot again, the frigging chapter ends...and I get to start all over days later.😣

Way to short! Want more.

Artists are such wimps. Start a whole new career. Running scared with his tail between his legs. Wouldn’t last a week up here!

Great story so far, looking forward to next installment.

The story is great, but the chapters feel too short. You might want to consider 3 pages instead of 2.

You have got us hooked, so please just give us the last 2 segments at once. 4 pages isnt a huge story.

These bitesize chunks are really making this story a slog. Having half a page of disclaimers and recapping only makes things worse.

Shame because published in 2 or 3 chunks it probably would have been far better.

Yeppers…. This is great! They could be a bit longer but then again patience never has been my thing!

Kudos

TK

I hope the dark emperors at LW keep your submittals coming each day - This is such a great story I can't pull myself away from reading it. The short segments are killing me, but that's on me, not the story itself. 5*

How many more chapters? The ones posted are quite short. Well each chapter does lead to the next one, there is no indication of how long the story will be.

Without knowing how long this is going it’s hard to continue investing time on the short chapters.

I’d give a four star, but the segments are too short. You just begin to get interested, and it ends. Frustrating

He should have been proactive establishing the songs as his by rewriting the lyrics and recording them on YouTube. Then they would have been recorded prior to being released by Tonya, even if they weren't perfect he at least would have established ownership.

So far very well written, keeps me wanting to get the next installment.

FTDS already. Practically almost all of the first page of this so called chapter was repeating what the so called previous chapter said. 1* Will know to never read anything by you again, you find the comments from readers who don't like your story confusing? What's confusing about it? Your story is nothing but short non chapters that are boring and repeatitive about a dumbass wimp.

So remind me, someone is reading this in a journal, right? Who writes like this in a journal?

Really enjoy your stories.

Yes, the brevity of the submissions is annoying, but you told us up front it would be 6 installments, so I can't complain more than registering my disappointment that I have to go back to reading crap until you drop the next chapter.

Excellent chapter, but way too short.

Scores 5/5, come on Stoney, this story is already written, longer chapters please.

Looking forward to the next chapter. Still wondering about the ex-wife who is reading the journal. Is that going to be Dawn who eventually screws him over as well?

Move this thing faster. It's too good to drag out like you are.

Damn…..got us hooked, and only 1 and a 1/3 pages….and half of page 1 was retelling the previous stuff!

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Maddening!

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Still not enough conversation and too much “reporting”.

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But….the storyline is great. But why are you chopping it up so much?

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4 ****

These short little snippets of a story are are frustrating. I barely finished reading a way too long synopsis, the story barely got started and it's over. A good story, but in the end I felt like I wasted my time reading it.

This is a good storyline ruined by being drug out entirely too long. It could have been published in no more than two segments that would have been much more effective. For the life of me I cannot understand the logic. This has turned a very good story into mediocrity!!!

Terrible, just tilly-tallying around the core of the story...... Half of the so far narrated story was a waste of time!

Enjoying the story, but it seems a bit familiar, might be just my old brain playing tricks on me. SW, don’t let the critics rush you, finish the tail as your heart directs.

I think this story is brilliant. Perhaps StoneyWebb's best story yet. Some Anonymous (not all) are beyond assholes. I saw 4 comments in a row criticizing the story because the chapters are to short, he even said he was giving it one star because of the short chapters. What idiocy! I wonder what this genius would have said about the Dickens, London or Twain masterpieces that were first published in chapter form for periodicals. Some of these anonymous, cowardly commenters are an insult to ignorant and stupid people. They even lack the courage to stand behind their collectively asinine opinions. Get me off my soapbox.

Another sliver of the story which even spent half of the first page re-hashing the previous brief episode! Get real, please publish the whole story. Sorry but I have slivered the stars to match your meanness!

Who writes something, (essay, book, song) and only has one copy? If something short, like a song, it immediately gets photocopied. Plus, if he only wrote those two "new" ones a week or so prior, he should be able to remember most of it. The musical cords and the words/verses.

He could immediately book studio time and, since he has over $800,000 cash available, put out those two songs before his ex-slut wife. His old agent/manager would organise all that. Instead he spends two days farting around. I hope this improves as Stoney has a good writing ability. Cheers.

What was this? This wasn't even 2 pages. The 1irst page was just a fucking recap. I gave you a 1 just for that bullshit. I'm just confused as to why you didn't just put the whole story up in one go? I don't get the 2 pages, that's really just 1 page cause it's just a recap from the 3rd chapter. 4 pages going absolutely nowhere. When is the action going to start?. You're starting to bore me now. Are we going to hear from the backstabbing slut?

Please finish it. Its a great storie.

I hope this isn't a journal read after a suicide.

When seeking revenge "Dig two graves" in this case three, I hope he remembers that before he hurts Dawn, Allison, and Claire. Pretty good so far, looking forward to the next chapter.

Robbie's attitude on revenge is damn'ing, will he screw over everyone in his quest? Shame... "I didn't care who I had to step on to accomplish my goal" what looked like a good story may go to shit soon. I can only hope his parents grab him by the neck and shake some sense into him. Or grandpa reaches from the grave to re-focus Robbie. Robbie now had the responsibility for three lives he pulled into his new world.

again...........to damn short.....release 4 or 5 at a time or just don't post. Makes me angry to read it an be left with a stupid cliff hanger after 1 1/2 pages.

Great piece of writing. Wish you'd at least give us three pages.

Your story is good.....just each chapter is way too short!

Semi enjoyable read. The short chapters really detracts from the overall story. If your objective is to get a first place cliffhanger award, you got it. Now stop. You won.

Just finish the damn story.

Agree, post longer episodes. It would flow so much smoother

It is absolutely no need to start new

installments as short as these with a resymé.

How many 2 page chapters are left? Please combine the rest of the story and submitt as aa single chapter.

Just stream the two songs on YouTube now, and the whole world knows she's lying. I like the story. It's just too short to get into a rhythm. I hope I can keep up with it before losing interest.

Toooo short

Just too short, submit everything else together to maintain continuity

I know a lot of people are bitching about the length of the parts, however I am enjoying the story and looking forward to read the rest.

The story and the writing are fine, but these SHORT chapters are very frustrating. Should have been condensed.

5 stars - keep going as I really like the direction it is heading.

To get the greatest benefit from vengeance is to live a happier and better life.

I’ll have to wait till you post the whole story ,this is so short and a drag. Liked it so far.

The multiple chapters is ruining the story, especially when half of it is a recap.

Seriously it's his big plan.

and the story continues, waiting for the next, good work sir

Like I said yesterday , You are smart giving your readers just a little at a time. I would suggest that you make each chapter just a little longer , maybe 3 or 3 1/2 pages . So far I have not seen anything that I wouldn't read again and again . Keep up the good work and ignore the nay-sayers . All 5's so far , keep on keeping on !

Uh-oh. Better listen to grandpa... perhaps his folks will help straighten him out?

And the others are right: please post longer segments. You did have the whole story written before posting the first part, right? Right...?

Pleasant story and I will go back and read the earlier chapters.

Should point out that you do not have to copyright anything. The moment you write, draw etc anything you own the copyright. The phrase most often used is "copyright is imbued at the moment of creation." The little circle C symbol is just a reminder to people and has no legal basis. Best thing to do with something like a song is to perform it in public so there are witnesses.

Like Behop, don't know why he didn't book time to record those 2 songs. And I hate stories where they just throw in legal stuff without looking them up. He could have stopped the release of the songs even without copyright; he could have immediately gotten the restraining orders nullified; and he could have forced her not to have money. And what happened to her luggage and unreasonable to suspect she was carrying around all the songs in the box.

Way too many commenters named anonymous

I really like this installment, well written with good plot pacing. 5 Here's a nit: "But there was nothing I could do about it because the songs weren't copyrighted." Wrong. The MC has an enforceable common law copyright. The real point is that enforcing the common law copyright involves far more expense and evidence.

Terrific Story. Thank you. I am so enjoying it.5 stars for each chapter.

Yes, I also thought this part was short.

Felt like an intro into the second part of the story.

4 out of 5 from me.

I'm guessing they will be driving back to Atlanta (sorry, I said Nashville in my last comment) so the entire group can get there together and get to know each other better. Part of me wants to see you end this with your next chapter but it has been interesting so far and I've enjoyed the world you have designed.

Keep 'em coming

You’re killing me. This could be one of the best stories I’ve ever read in LW, but these short chapters are torture. I want to read this whole story on Dawn’s rising star, but I don’t want to wait. You’ve set this up brilliantly.

Well this anonymous thinks the story is great just the way it is. Though I would like to stick my foot up Tanya's and Todd's asses.

RSLY

Excellent!

That was way to good. Incredibul plan. This was so good I can't believe it. Please continue...and screw those anonymous assholes.

Five Humongous Stars

Half of the first page is recap, and you post just 2 page?? Are you trying to sell this to a TV network?

@Wildbill314 unless you use your real name and real pictures, you're just as anonymous as them

Many have pointed out the unusually short chapters. The last chapter was a page and a half and then you spent half a page on this chapter recapping the last short chapter, rendering that chapter superfluous, If this had been posted as one chapter thus far it would probably be five pages as we have not had two complete pages yet. I see no reason to chop up your story so indiscriminately.

So far so good just don’t go overboard keep it realistic.

I really like the writing style the story and the plot but you really must make the chapters longer. It makes No sense to drag it out like this.

You take responsibility for your story and any errors but there are times when you seem to focus on what you want to happen and don't think about what should happen. Why have a box of unreleased songs packed with you on the road? You gave Robbie limited funds so why buy three additional airline tickets (if there were seats available) instead of renting a SUV or Van to drive down to Atlanta. Give all of them a chance to get to know each other and develop a comfortable relationship. I just hope he doesn't become a dipshit trying to hurt his ex at the cost to innocent non-combatants.

I can see where we are headed and personally I like it. Of course when you brought that little girl, Allison, into the mix you grabbed me completely. Having read all four parts, I patiently (well to be honest not so patiently) await the next installments. Thanks for your stories. 5*****

I agree with Wildbill314: too many commenters don't want to take ownership of their comments, so they let Anonymous have them.

Why not record the new songs on Utube before the wife can do it?

After this fourth chapter I still don't know, who the wife is, that reads this journal...

@Rw43

So if you use some made up name hiding all any identifying information, that somehow makes your comments more credible than those who chose to be anonymous. What arrogant bullshit to assume that "Rw43" gives you magical credibility. It is significant many of these so-called registered users, like yourself, haven't written a thing. Your opinion is no better than anyone else's. And there are too many commentators named Willbill314, but that's just my opinion. As to the story, I agree with many that the # of short chapters seems arbitrary and detracts from what could otherwise be a decent story. But it is the author's to screw up as he sees fit.

Most people know that revenge is a fools game.

I was just about to write almost the same thing. He didn’t even need studio time. All he had to do is sit in his hotel, remember as much of each song as he can (and like most musicians of that caliber, he probably can) or bench in Central Park, turn his phone to video, then upload to Utube. There, dated recordings of the songs. When Tanya goes to record later in the week, she may or may not “hit” with those songs, and any other songs she stole, but she’ll have share credit him.

And Robbie should do that to all the songs as best he can, even fragments of songs, to have a dated cloud record. And lyrics that he’s written without music he can write as much as he can remember of those and put them on Facebook. From that point on Tanya will have to give a decent fraction of the profits. Remember, this is as revenge and to piss her off. Having lawyers jump on her agent every time she publishes a song will suck.

As far as copying his songs — shit, I forget to hit “SAVE” inches from my pinky on my PC all the friggin’ time. And until most word processors started automatically saving my work, I’d sometimes lose days of work if the program crashed. Hell, I had a friend lose the final copy of his thesis, losing a couple of weeks of work, on the evening before he was supposed to submit it, and had to recreate it from the older work by some time the next morning. So you think Robbie’s an idiot for not taking his handwritten hardcopy, which apparently he’s lugged around on his trips for several years and not had a problem with them, to photocopy? You can be sure he will from now on, but this first time he was just being human.

Damn. Sad story, sad story, sad...devastatedly sad. In fact my mouth was quivering and a tear ran down my left cheek. Holy crap I never saw that coming.

He missed a golden opportunity by neglecting to perform his own new songs, in the park. They would have played on YouTube, proving that they were not written by his wife...

Again, in such a short chapter your recapping what we just read ONE day ago?

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Except for the plot device of meeting Dawn, why couldn't he use his money to rent a private jet and get to Atlanta before Tanya and Todd?

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"Dawn nodded, but Allison wouldn't take them from me." - I realize he knows it NOW, but he hasn't been told her name at this point in the story.

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Tanya can destroy his originals after copying them, but if he goes on TV or radio and sings them before she releases them it will give SOME credence that there not her songs.

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Dawn's last name is the same as her mother's sister? Now I'm REALLY confused! Dawn's mother was married, so HER last name likely wasn't Samuels, and Dawn was married also, so how does she have the same last name as her maternal aunt?

@Anonymous Re: "@Rw43" - The point is, you can easily respond to Rw43, I have to screw around to reply to you rather than the other x number of anons.

whats the point in breaking up the story into short 2 page chapters when 1/4 is just a recap of the previous chapter? I know alot of readers get intimidated by long stories but you could have easily framed this in 3 or even 2 parts

Great story, but one factual glitch weakens the narrative:

“… because the songs weren't copyrighted.” The songs WERE copyrighted; copyright is automatic as soon as something is written down.

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All he needs to do is make a you tube video, listing the stolen songs and titles, along with details as to where and why they were stolen. Then, when Tanya announces her two new release, she will already be pre empted paper copies in another handwriting then mean nothing after the you tube date….