The Heart Wants Ch. 10-13

Chapter 10

I woke, to a woman pulling a shirt on in my bedroom, her back to me. Pulling the pillow back tight beneath my head, I lay on my side, watching her. She was trying to be quiet, which seemed to only make her cuter to me. I felt a pang of loss, a stab of the love that I felt for her and took a moment to wonder if this was what my life was now? Doomed to enjoy a night, only to watch her get dressed the next morning and go home to the person she loved?

She turned, sensing my eyes on her, smiling at me. "Did I wake you up?"

I shook my head slightly, "Don't think so. Just woke up. You bailing?"

I saw shock register on her face as she hooked her thumb at the door, "Do you need me to?"

Again, I shook my head, "No. I just saw you getting dressed and figured you were taking off."

She smiled at me again, this time crawling into the bed with me, lazily sliding across the covers until she had her head laying against me. Her eyes speared into me as a smile of contentment crawled onto her face, "I hadn't planned on it. Truth is, I was going to sneak off and steal another session in your wonderful tub." She slid nearer to me, closer to my face. "And then I was thinking of making you a nice breakfast and then seeing if I could get you to roll around in the sheets with me a little more."

I smiled at her as she leaned in and kissed me again. My eyes slid closed, her lips felt so good on mine. My eyes fell on her as I tilted my head, wondering. I raised my hand, pushing her hair out of her eyes and letting my thumb playing across her head, just looking at her and feeling my love for her grow...

I knew, deep down in my heart that I was making a mistake. That I was setting myself up for heartache. After last night, I was absolutely sure that I was deeply, and madly in love with her. Making love to her was only making that harder...

On some level, I knew that I should explain it to her. I should warn her, but I was too much of a coward. I knew she didn't love me. She liked me, but she would never love me, at least not the way I loved her. I could share my time with her, hell, now I could even share my bed with her, but I would never share my life with her.

Looking into her eyes, I decided, right then and there that would be enough for me. What we had. I could find a way to be happy with that, and I vowed then and there that I would never tell her. I was never going to do anything to screw up what I had with her.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked me, smiling as the light from the window caught her eyes, making them shine in the dark room.

Leaning in, I kissed her again. As I kissed her a shock of worry stabbed through me. "Is that okay?"

She raised her eyebrows at me, "Is that okay?"

I brushed my thumb across her lips, "That I kiss you."

She smiled, shaking her head, "Why wouldn't it be okay?"

I shrugged, "I'm just trying to figure the rules out. This whole... sex without a relationship thing..."

Smiling at me she asked, "Do you like to kiss me?"

I nodded.

She leaned in and kissed me again, this time slipping her tongue between my lips. It felt so good my eyes drifted closed. "I like to kiss you too." She took a moment, her eyes drifting down to the bed as she thought, "It confuses me too..."

I looked at her, my heart twinging a bit.

Her hand came up, her fingertips tracing lightly across my cheek, "This is... it's different... then what Rachel does."

"How?"

Her eyes pierced back into me, "Well, I mean, Rachel wouldn't have spent the night. She'd have done her thing, and then took off. The guys she's with, for the most part, seem cool with that. She seems happy with that too."

I think I understood what she was trying to say, "And you wouldn't be happy with that?"

She shook her head, "No." smiling at me, she added, "I like spending time with you. The sex is just a nice, unexpected bonus."

Wrapping both of my arms around her head I pulled her close, hugging her. She giggled, grabbing me. I pulled her roughly over my body, pushing her into the bed, crawling on top of her and kissing her. She spread her legs for me again, moaning as she pulled me in closer to her. I broke from our kiss and looked into her eyes, "Then we'll just have to figure out what our rules are together, right?"

She squeezed me tighter with her legs as she ran her fingers up the side of my head, "Yep. Link and Laurel will figure it out."

I smiled at her, staring into her eyes.

She broke the silence, "I lo-" she stopped herself, something like guilt flashing across her face as she stopped herself, shaking her head, "I'm hungry."

Surging up from the bed, she rolled me over as she buried her face in my neck, kissing and nibbling at my neck. I pressed my hips into her as my hands dipped into her shirt, my right hand working its way up, cupping her breast.

"I'm hungry too," I growled into her neck as I pulled her close.

She pushed her way back from me, giggling, "Oh, no, pervert. Keep in in your pants."

I pulled her closer to me, "I'd prefer to keep it in you..."

She slapped my chest, "Stop that!"

Using her chance to escape, she rolled off me, "I'm hungry. I'm making us breakfast!"

Pulling my pillow back beneath my head as she walked out of the room I yelled after her, "Good luck!"

Her voice echoed from the kitchen, "Hey, I'm an awesome cook! I can make a gourmet meal out of like a bean and like a cup of flower!"

I rolled my eyes, grimacing as I knew what she was going to find in my kitchen...

I could hear her digging through my cupboards, opening the fridge, then digging through the cupboards, then opening the fridge...

Finally, after a couple of minutes, she walked back into the room, a jar of peanut butter in one hand, a box of macaroni, not macaroni and cheese, just honest to god macaroni, in the other.

I smiled at her as she asked, "Are you an animal? The only thing you have in your entire kitchen is a, mostly empty by the way, jar of peanut butter, and half full box of plain macaroni. She turned the box, looking through the little plastic window at the macaroni, "The macaroni has weevils in it by the way."

Grimacing again I said, "Peanut butter macaroni with weevils it is then, I guess?"

She pointed the box of macaroni at me, "Gross. How do you eat!?"

"Are you questioning my ability to provide for you?" I asked in mock outrage, "That's so like you! I can provide all the cold pizza you can eat!"

She pointed the box of macaroni at her own chest, "I brought the pizza!"

I slid the covers back, my feet hitting the floor, "This is so like you. Fine, I'll get up and go scrounge in the neighbor's trash and see what I can find!"

She giggled, as I pulled my pants on, "One raccoon style breakfast coming up."

Sauntering over. "Why don't we just go out? I'm feeling like an omelet."

I turned into her and grabbed her ass, "Don't sweat it, my neighbors are amazingly wasteful, I'm sure I can scrounge up some eggs."

She kissed my nose, "Gross. Come on. Let's go out."

I let my fingers roam a little from her ass, working them between her legs. She smacked me on the head with the box of macaroni, "No. No more pussy for you until you feed me!"

I smiled at her, "So typical. You put out once, and suddenly you're all about me wining and dining you."

She narrowed her eyes playfully at me, "Once! I put out twice, and if it wasn't for your shitty, 'I'm a man and I can only cum once!' attitude I would have rocked your world all night! I've earned an omelet!"

I still had hopes I could talk her back into bed, "Why don't we just go back to bed and lick peanut butter off of each other?"

"Remember the weevils in your macaroni? I'm scared to open the peanut butter!"

I took the jar of peanut butter from her, "This stuff lasts like forever, right?"

She laughed, getting a little pouty, "Please take me out? I'll buy."

I kissed her, smiling, "Damn straight you'll buy! It's the least you can do after that cumming once crack!"

She wrapped her arm around me, the one I had freed up by taking the peanut butter from her, "Oh! Are you sensitive about that?"

We got ready and got in her very expensive car, which I had to admit, gave me a little sense of unease. She took me to a little hole in the wall place that took us about twenty minutes to get to. Walking in, I was greeted by the amazing scent of fried, amazingly unhealthy food. The display case out front had a selection of delicious homemade pies...

"Have you ever been here?" Laurel asked me as we waited for the waitress to come over and seat us.

I shook my head, "Nope."

She let her head loll back, "They have the best omelets. The best."

The waitress approached, a big smile on her face, "Laurel! Where's Rachel?"

Laurel leaned into me, smiling at the waitress, "She had to go out of town on business, so I had to settle for this big lug!"

I put my arm around her and smiled at the waitress, who's name read Fae. Fae held her hand out to me, "Hello! I'm Fae. Sorry to leave you out, I'm just so used to seeing Rachel and Laurel here. They're such a cute couple! They come in every weekend."

I took Fae's hand, smiling at her, "Link. Nice to meet you."

She stepped a little closer to me, standing off to the side of me a bit, on the side of me away from Laurel, "Link? Like the video game guy? I love those games!"

Smiling at her I blushed a bit, "Yeah, well, I mean no. Link, like the video game, but it's actually Lincoln."

She plucked at the sleeve of my shirt, making me take a step back, "That's still cute." Her attention shifted back to Laurel, as if she just remembered she was standing there. "You want your regular table, Laurel?"

Laurel's eyes narrowed a bit, before she threw on a big smile, "Yeah. Sure."

Fae walked us to a table in the back, seating us and handing both of us menus before asking, "Coffee?"

I nodded, turning the little brown cup on the table over, "Sure. I'll have coffee."

Laurel still had a scowl on her face as she picked up the cup on her side of the table and handed it back to Fae, "No thank you. I'll have a Coke please."

Fae had a bit of a troubled look on her face as she took the cup from Laurel, "Okay. A Coke and a coffee, coming up!"

She walked away as Laurel opened her menu, making a face. I looked over the top of my menu at her as she waggled her head, "Oh... tee hee... Link. Like the video game? Oh hee hee, fucking bimbo..."

I smiled at her nervously, "You okay over there? You having an aneurysm or just a Tourette's moment?"

She picked her spoon up, pointing it at me, "You want me to stab you with this?"

Dropping my menu, I held my hands out defensively, "Hey, we're all friends here."

She pointed the spoon off, "That little hussy was flirting with you!"

Raising an eyebrow, I shook my head, "I don't think she was flirting with me."

She pointed the spoon back at me menacingly, "You're on the road back to spoon-stab-ville."

I really didn't think she was trying to flirt with me, "I think she was just trying to be friendly. She's on a first name basis with you and Rachel already. She probably just wanted to be inclusive."

Her eyes narrowed at me.

Picking my menu back up, I added, "Besides, what does it matter if she was flirting with me. It's not like you're my girlfriend. You're with Rachel."

Her eyes narrowed angrily, "I mind because I'm standing right there!"

I looked up from the menu at her, "Laurel, she knows you're with Rachel. She even said you guys make a cute couple. If she was flirting on me, and that's a big if, she probably just thought that I was fair game because you're pretty obviously a lesbian."

She lowered her head and dropping her spoon, picked up her menu. Then she narrowed her head, raised her menu and growled at me, like a dog. I laughed, shaking my head at her as I saw her start to relax a little.

The menu was pretty standard diner food. Omelets, pancakes, fried eggs, waffles and such. The prices were a bit on the high side for my taste but still were very reasonable.

Fae interrupted my browsing, bringing back a Coke for Laurel, along with with a paper-wrapped straw, and a pot of coffee in a little carafe for me. Smiling I handed her my cup.

"So, have you two decided?" She asked, filling my cup.

Laurel angrily stabbed her straw on the table, breaking it free from its paper prison, "I'll have the ham and cheese omelet. Wheat toast."

Fae smiled at her as she wrote the order on her little pad, "And you sweetie?" she asked, looking at me.

I looked up at her, noticing she was pretty. Not as pretty as Rachel, and certainly nowhere near as pretty as I found Laurel to be, but pretty all the same. She was wearing a big, bright smile and now that I noticed it, was standing a little close to me...

"Be gentle on me, it's my first time. What's really good here?"

I saw her smile slide to a little on the sleazy side as she caught my little flirt, "Everything's good here..." she purred as she leaned in, putting her hand on my shoulder as she did so. Twisting she started scanning down the menu with me. She paused a moment, her face close to mine and gave me a smile as she looked into my eyes. "Sorry, I can never find it."

Okay. She was definitely flirting with me...

I closed the menu, handing it to her, my curiosity sated, "I'll just have the chicken fried steak."

She took the menu, a perplexed look on her face, obviously confused about the sudden change of my tone and attitude, "Okay."

She took the rest of my order and sauntered away. It looked a little bit forced as if she was trying to draw attention. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to watch her go...

As soon as Fae walked away from the table, Laurel flicked her straw wrapper, which she had balled up like a dry spitball at me. It sailed over the table, hitting me in the cheek.

"Hey!" I mock screamed at her.

"And now you're flirting with her... man-slut." The look on her face was supposed to look like she was kidding with me, but I could see a touch of jealousy there.

I smiled at her, not wanting to embarrass her by calling her out on her little lie, "No I wasn't. There's no way I'd hit on a girl while she was at work. I was just a little curious to see if you were right about her flirting with me." I shrugged, surprised at how easily I missed a girl flirting with me I was.

She narrowed her eyes at me for just a split second and I saw that she was really and truly jealous. I was a little surprised at that. I mean, we had made it pretty clear that wasn't a part of our relationship, it was just supposed to be casual sex...

Now that I thought of it though, sex made everything a hell of a lot more complicated. This probably wasn't going to be all that different. Also, there was a distinct possibility that I was reading the situation completely wrong.

I put my hand out, palm up and waggled my fingers at her. She narrowed her eyes at me. "You going to let me hold your hand, or are you going to make me continue to try and bat this hussy off?"

She put her hand in mine, "Sorry. I got a little jealous there, didn't I?"

I shrugged, giving her hand a playful squeeze. "We're still trying to figure this whole thing out, right?"

She nodded, smiling at me. I saw her swallow like she was having some trouble controlling her emotion.

"So... what are the rules here?" I finally asked her.

"Rules?"

I nodded my head to the side, "Yeah. Rules."

She shrugged, a half smile on her face, "You can do what you want, I don't own you..." I saw what she was saying finally start to dawn on her, how that didn't line up with what she had just done...

I had no intention of disabusing her of the behavior, I just wanted to make sure I didn't cross any lines with her either. It sounded pitiful, even to me, but I knew that I would do anything I had to in order to make her happy. If that meant that I had to stay away from all other women, I was fine with that. It hurt a bit to admit that I was willing to give up all hope of a relationship in order to make her happy... but I guess I was that pitiful.

My eyes dropped to the table as I thought of that. I realized then how off base I was when I had looked down on her for allowing Rachel to sleep with other people in order to maintain her relationship. Much as I didn't want to admit it to myself, I had looked down on her. I had thought she was weak. I had thought she was allowing Rachel to take advantage of her and that Laurel was just too fucking weak to put a stop to it. I realized now the crazy lines that we were all willing to let slide when we loved someone...

My eyes snapped back up to her, "Don't own me? So what would have happened if I had grabbed her phone number?"

She looked down at the table, "You're right, and I'm sorry."

I squeezed her hand tighter, "I don't want you to be sorry. I want to know how all of this works. How you and Rachel deal with the jealousy issue so we can deal with it. I don't want any of this bullshit to hurt our friendship, and if us sleeping together has any risk of that, I want to stop it immediately." Looking deep into her eyes, I tried to make her understand, "I care about you a hell of a lot more than anything else. I won't ruin that."

She smiled, apparently satisfied with my rambling, bullshit response, "I know. I get it." she took a moment to think about it, "It's just... I guess it's different with me and Rachel. I'll be honest, I didn't think about it. I thought I would be fine. You know..." she shrugged, "We'd hook up, and then you'd hang out with other chicks and I'd just be fine with it. I saw her flirting with you and I got... I guess I got jealous. I'm as surprised by it as you are."

I shook my head, "I'm not surprised..."

"What?"

"I'm jealous too. I'm jealous of Rachel. Of what she has with you." I squeezed her hand again, hoping to take the sting out of what I was saying. Hoping that she would forgive me. That she would understand. "I don't want to be, and I know I shouldn't be, but I am."

My eyes met hers, "So I guess my point is, we both need to figure out the answer to this question. How do you and Rachel handle it? How do you see her with somebody else and just be okay with it?"

She looked at the table, thinking, "This is different than that." Her eyes came back up and caught mine, "Everyone that she's with besides me is a guy. I guess I just don't feel jealous about that because I realize that what he gives her is totally different than what I have with her. I just know, when I saw you flirting with her, I just kind of felt something flare up in me like I was comparing myself to her like I was trying to figure out what she had that I didn't. With a guy, the answer to that is pretty obvious."

I nodded, gaining some understanding...

She continued, "Plus, that's not so much of an issue. Most of the time when she hooks up it's when she's on a trip. Occasionally we make a game of it, but it's simpler when she scratches her itch while she's out of town."

"Why is that?" I asked, wondering.

She smiled at me, "Just less chance of things getting complicated. The guy kind of gets the picture. Just a one-night show and then move on."

"And when you make a game of it, together?"

She shrugged, "Generally it's pretty uncomplicated. There was one guy that got super clingy, but Rachel sorted that out pretty quickly."

"So how does Rachel handle it when she sees a guy regularly?"

She picked up her drink, sipping from it, "She doesn't do that."

I made a face, "What?"

"She never sleeps with a guy more than once, or, if she has, she's never told me about it. She seems to enjoy the aspect of having different partners, I think she kind of gets off on it."

I nibbled at my lip, "And you don't want that?"

She shook her head at me, "No. In fact. Being with you has kind of made me realize why I dragged my feet so much when Rachel was asking me for the whole threesome thing."