The Heart Wants Ch. 10-13

I found myself, that night, sitting with Damon and Rachel in the extremely fancy restaurant inside the extremely fancy hotel that I could never afford on my own, though looking at the menu, it wasn't the type of place I would frequent anyway...

They served a pretty damn decent steak anyway...

"So how did the two of you meet...?" Damon's question caught me with a forkful of steak halfway to my lips...

I swallowed hard, not sure how to answer that particular question. All I could do was look at Rachel with panic in my eyes, afraid to be too upfront with my lies, afraid I would out her. I didn't see why it mattered to her to hide her personal life... but I could see, it was important to her to do so.

She smiled and put her hand over mine, "Damon... I'm not going to lie to you. Link and I have... an unusual relationship. We haven't known each other for long."

She paused, clearing her throat... as if she was trying to figure out exactly how to say what was on her mind...

Damon smiled at her, "Rachel, I'm no fool. That young lady you live with..." he gave her a half smile, his eyes twinkling, "when you had us over for dinner last month... I saw the way you looked at each other... I understand the two of you are... more than friends."

He swallowed, looking down at his plate, as if he were embarrassed, "I don't mean to pry, it just makes me nervous when I know someone isn't being truthful to me..."

His expression got harder, but there was still a fair overtone of kindness to it, "You didn't need to be dishonest with me, you can trust me..."

She took her hand off of mine, her shoulders slumping a bit as she looked at her plate, thinking. When she finally spoke, there was a strong tone of the confident young woman I liked so much, "I didn't lie... I mean... not really..." she sighed, looking at him directly, "My relationship with Laurel is... complicated too. Link is... well, without being too direct, he is Laurel's... good friend?"

Damon's eyebrows shot up and his dark eyes snapped from Rachel to me, darting quickly back and forth between us as the mental gears stripped somewhere in his mind...

"Uh... so... you and Laurel..." he said looking at Rachel before his eyes transitioned over to me, "and... uh... you and Laurel?"

I gave him a shy smile as I looked down at my plate, suddenly not so tired...

Coughing into my hand I corrected him, "Not, well, not so much. Well, uh... Laurel and I..." my eyes wandered over to Rachel, "it's not really a relationship." Feeling a pang of pain deep in my heart, I forced myself to continue speaking, "I mean, not like... not like Rachel and Laurel have. We're more... uh... good friends?"

One of his eyebrows came down, the other staying up as I tried to understand what sounded like the ravings of a madman...

Again, he looked from Rachel to me, and then back to Rachel, "I guess I can see... it is... complicated." He held his hands out, "I shouldn't pry. It really isn't any of my business, I just wanted you to understand that you never need to lie to me."

Rachel put her hand back on mine, "Damon... I'm not lying, not really. Laurel and I are a couple, and as much as Link wants to downplay what he and Laurel have... it's kind of a triangle thing. That means... well... Link is important to me. He is pretty much the closest thing I have to a boyfriend..."

Damon looked back and forth between me and Laurel again. His finger going back and forth between me and her, "So you two... also...?"

She looked down, smiling a shy smile, "No... but..."

"Wait..." Damon held his hands up, "I'm sorry. This is none of my business. I shouldn't pry."

He gave her a broad smile, "I just want you to know you can trust me. Trust me with anything... you don't need to hide anything from me."

"Sir," I interjected, thinking of the other night at the party, "I'm still pretty new to the challenges Laurel and Rachel face... but I can understand the trepidation with them being open with people."

Damon's eyes snapped over to me, "I like you very much young man, but please... don't tell me you are one of those infuriating men that finds it necessary to speak for a woman?"

I shook my head at him, "Not in a million years. I have nothing but respect for Rachel. There are things, however, that I know she isn't going to share with you..."

Rachel looked at me sharply, "Link, leave it."

I gave her a soft look, "Rachel, you should tell him."

Her eyes hardened, "I mean it Link. That's not me. Leave it. I can fight my own battles."

I looked at Rachel, and then at Damon, trying to decide what to do...

In the end, it was what Damon had said to me that made up my mind... Rachel was a smart person, and if she said she had the situation in hand, she had the situation in hand.

Forcing a smile onto my face I told Damon, "I'm sorry. I spoke out of turn. I should keep my nose out of it. If Rachel says she has the situation in control, she knows what she's talking about."

His eyes narrowed, "Rachel, there are some bosses out there that would let a comment like that slide. Bosses that subscribe to the don't ask, don't tell mentality." His eyes snapped over to me, "I am not one of those bosses. I need an explanation, because what I seem to be hearing is not acceptable behavior and I won't allow it."

The look Rachel gave me was pure death...

"It's not that big of a deal... it's just that Mister Zackman has been... a little aggressive with me. I realize he doesn't mean anything by it, it just, it was easier if he thought..."

The look that came across Damon's face was one of pure rage...

"The party the other night?" His voice was controlled, but still full of rage.

Rachel looked down at her plate and I took the opportunity to step in, to help her carry this burden, "It just got a little out of hand. I think it was just easier if he saw her as unavailable."

His eyes settled on Rachel, the anger bleeding out of them, "Rachel, you know I don't approve of those parties..." his eyes worked their way back over to me, "for the record, that's not the way business should be done. What you did today, that's the way that business should be done."

Rachel cleared her throat, "It's not a problem Damon. I have the situation under control."

He looked her up and down and I could sense something like approval settle over him, "I know you do Rachel and, considering we're talking about a senior partner, I won't make a fuss about it." he took his napkin and shook it out, "None of that is important however. Considering the exceptional work you've done for us on this account, I'm going to be making some changes to our organizational structure. You will be reporting directly to me from now on." He once again looked at me, "And, if young Link here does any additional work for the firm, he will be reporting directly to me as well."

Rachel shook her head at Damon, "I appreciate that, but... I don't deserve that." She paused, thinking about what she was trying to say, how she needed to say it, "I know you're trying to help, it's just..." her eyes speared into him, "I want to earn the things I get. The truth is, you did most of the work here. I learned a lot, but I didn't do that much."

He smiled at her, nodding, "Rachel, you did a lot more here than you're giving yourself credit for. You've been all over this since the news of the leak broke. You got our foot in the door," he gestured at me, "and yes, you fell ass first into the help Link gave you, but you were smart enough to grab me and tell me versus telling Link to shut up and covering your own ass. You're learning quickly, and maybe I'm fast tracking you a bit, but I want you to understand, I see a lot of potential in you and I think if you and I worked more directly I could help mentor you into a better asset for the company."

He smiled, "As a senior partner, that is directly to my benefit."

Rachel looked like she was a little choked up...

She nodded, swallowing past a lump in her throat, "Thank you sir. I really do respect you, and I want to learn from you." Her face hardened, "I want you to understand though, I'm not making a complaint, and I never will, if my work isn't up to par, I want you to let me know, and I'll move on without complaint."

That look of rage came back onto his face, "I'm going to be blunt with you Rachel. This situation with Zackman will get resolved. I assure you. You are not the first person to come to me with this type of complaint, but you will be the last. There will be no further instances like this. Zackman is going to be taking some time away from the company."

Rachel started to open her mouth, but Damon cut her off, "This isn't about you. This is about his choices."

He picked up his drink, taking a sip, "Also, young lady, I want you to understand something. If something like this ever, ever happens again, you will come to me, and you will report it, or that will be your last day working for me." Damon's eyes landed on me, "Lincoln was right to insist on bringing this up."

Rachel was looking down at the table, and I could see the gears turning in her head as she processed what he was saying...

Damon reached across the table, putting his hand on Rachel's, "Rachel, you need to understand, if you are dealing with something like this, it is happening to others as well." He patted her hand, a gesture both reassuring and fatherly all at the same time, "When you make this type of choice, you're not just victimizing yourself, you're choosing to help victimize them too. I know you're tough, and you want to make your own way, but remember sometimes there are other people on the line too."

She nodded, biting her lip, as Damon gestured to a passing waiter. The waiter stopped at the table and Damon produced what looked like a Black Card, "I'll be leaving in a moment. Please charge the tab to this card, and leave an open line of credit for my two young friends here, okay?"

The waiter nodded, "Yes, sir."

Damon smiled at us as the young man hustled away, "And with that, I leave the two of you to enjoy the rest of your evening..." he told us, a fatherly smile lining his face.

I held my hand up, "Sir, you shouldn't go. I'm sure you and Rachel have business to discuss, and I'm a third wheel there. I'm going to bail out of here and go get some sleep..."

He shook his head at me, "Son, you've certainly earned some sleep, but you've earned a relaxing evening with a beautiful lady as well. Enjoy the time on my dime. I've never been much for fancy places and fancy meals," he pulled his tie loose, smiling as I caught his reference to my suicidal strip show earlier. I smiled at him, more than a little with embarrassment.

The waiter returned with the check, and Damon filled out his portion and signed, sending the waiter away.

His eyes met mine, "Besides, I have a lovely wife waiting at home that expects a phone call, and I never keep a beautiful woman waiting."

I nodded, looking back down at my plate, trying, unsuccessfully to suppress one of the biggest yawns of my entire life. All I could do to try and recover was smile shyly, "Have a good night, sir."

He smiled at me again, nodding slightly as his eyes narrowed, "Also, to put a bug in your ear, Harper asked for you specifically to do a security overview for them. He would like you to make some recommendations as to the changes necessary to bring them out of the stone age. The pay would be... impressive."

It took me a second to realize that I had just gotten a job offer...

Another yawn hit me and all I could do was cover my mouth and hold up a finger, begging for a moment of patience, "Sir... I would love to help, but uh... I have school, and uh... I'm not sure I'm up for that job. Not sure I'm qualified..."

Damon gave me a half smile, "I get the feeling you very much are..." his gaze dropped on Rachel, "Rachel, convince him."

I glanced at her, seeing the warm smile on her face, which turned to one of those stunning, draw dropping ones when she finally turned it on me...

Her voice was once again a purr, "It would be my pleasure..."

Looking at Damon I saw the hint of humor in his eyes as he smiled at me... "Goodnight kids... have fun."

With that he turned and walked away, leaving me alone with Rachel...

I glanced at her, cutting back into my steak, avoiding making eye contact. Another mighty yawn escaped me as I finished cutting off another piece...

"Am I that boring?" She purred from beside me.

Chewing, I looked at her, shaking my head. After I had finished chewing, I told her, "Sorry Rach... I've had about an hour of sleep in about forty-eight now... I'm wiped out."

She tilted her head, smiling at me as she took a sip from her champagne, "Do you want to go back to my room and fuck now?"

Something about what she said, or maybe it was the way she said it made me suddenly angry... very angry.

My eyes pierced into hers as my voice dropped through a few octaves, to the point that I was very nearly growling at her, "Stop that shit. I'm getting tired of the game."

Taking a moment to breathe, I slashed back into my steak, "I know you're not a slut, so stop acting like one."

Looking up, there was a fire in her eyes, a fire just this side of rage...

Looking at the lines of her face I tried to figure out exactly what she was angry about. The slut comment? The rejection?

She took another sip of her drink, her eyes narrowing at me, "I'm not a slut and this isn't an act, or a game." She shrugged one slender shoulder, "I look at you, and I want you. Just the same as you want me when you look at me. There's no difference. What? You think because I have the confidence to pursue a man the way he would normally pursue a woman she's a slut?"

I set my fork down, realizing that I had offended her without trying to, "I'm sorry. You're right. I have no right to judge you."

Taking a moment to rub my eyes I tried to get the fuzz of fatigue to open up and let my mind start working again. "I'm not used to... to how forward you are. I think it's also hard for me to... for me to realize that I may be attractive."

She smiled at me, "Don't get too full of yourself. You're not drop dead gorgeous. You're cute, but the thing that makes you attractive isn't your looks. It's the package deal. Humor, kindness, intelligence, and yes, cuteness make you interesting. Nice men are fun in bed, and I like to have fun in bed."

Sitting back in the comfy chair, I finally found something interesting to wake me up, Rachel's mind...

I smiled at her, suddenly feeling a stab of worry as I realized what I wanted to ask her...

"So, how does it work for you? The whole multiple partners thing?"

She smiled at me seductively and I realized that it wasn't a conscious thing she did, it was just her natural personality shining through.

"Didn't Laurel explain it to you?" She purred.

I frowned, nodding my head, "She explained her side of it. I'd like to hear your side of it."

She looked at me, her eyes meeting mine. I watched as something glacial in them, something predatory melted a bit.

And then, just like that, it was gone, "So you want to hear the gory details? What it's like to be with a man and a woman at the same time?"

I shook my head at her, "No. I want to hear what it's like in Rachel's head. What drives her? I want to walk a mile in your shoes Rachel." Picking up my Coke, I took a sip, "See, I couldn't imagine being with a man, couldn't imagine what that's like, how it's attractive. You're an enigma to me, and I'd like to pull at that enigma's strings a bit and see if I can't figure it out."

And like that, the glacial coolness to her was gone...

She shook her head at me, "Are you for real? I mean, for really real, real?"

I took another drink, looking at her, seeing her for the first time as a tender creature. Until that moment, I saw her as a woman, as a sexual creature, but in some portion of my mind I saw her like I see another man. The combination of her being with Laurel and her overt sexuality made me think of her as a woman playing a man...

The more I thought about it, the more offensive I realized that view to be...

She was her own person, defying the thought of man or woman and instead choosing to be only herself. There was something inherently beautiful about that, something that made her special.

I nodded, "I really try to be. To be for real."

"You seem too good to be true..." her eyes narrowed, "and you need to know if you fuck with Laurel's head I'll cut your fucking balls off and feed them to you, cute or not."

I smiled at her, a smile I hope reassured her.

She smiled back at me, a smile filled with joy, and energy, and life.

Taking another sip of her champagne, her red lips leaving a little trail on the edge of the glass, she asked, "So what do you want to know?"

I turned the question over in my mind. Running it through my mental fingers like a worry stone.

What did I want to know? What did I really, really want to know. What about her intrigued me so much?

And then it occurred to me, "How do you reconcile the whole going home with one person with..." I stopped myself, realizing what I was about to say, "I'm sorry, this is going to sound really judgmental, and I don't mean it to be..."

She smiled, shrugging, "You mean how do I sleep around when I've got Laurel at home?"

I shrugged, giving her a shy smile I hope defused how offensive the question was.

Her eyes moved away from me, looking at something in the distance, or maybe just trying to figure out the answer to the question for herself...

Her eyes suddenly snapped back to me, "You know, there was a time when I would have called myself straight?"

That was interesting...

"I had steady boyfriends, what everyone would call" she made little air quotes with her fingers, "a normal sex life."

Her eyes trailed up and down my body and I got the distinct impression she was checking me out. It was a disconcerting feeling...

"I had this boyfriend, Richard. He was an asshole and I hadn't been with him very long, but he started to pressure me into having a threesome." She paused, thinking, "I guess I just got tired of him harassing me about it, and so I said yes. I very much enjoyed it."

I nodded, thinking I was finally coming to understand her, "So you found you liked being with women more than you liked being with men?"

She shook her head, taking another sip from her drink, "Nope. Actually, I'm more attracted to men than I am to women, even now. I'm more attracted to you physically than I am to Laurel."

That shocked me, "So you're only with Laurel..."

She ground her teeth, her eyes narrowing dangerously, "Be careful."

Her tone brought me up short, making me backpedal quickly, "I'm sorry. I'm being judgmental, and I shouldn't be."

Her expression lightened instantly, "Get one thing into your mind, without exception, I love Laurel. Because I'm more attracted to men physically than I am to her means absolutely zip when it comes to my relationship with her. I would gladly cut your throat and leave you in the gutter if I thought it might make her even the tiniest bit happier than she is now. There's attraction, and then there's love. They are two very separate things."

A smug little smile slipped onto her face and her eyes once again slid up and down my body. This time however I got no feeling she was checking me out, this time it was more like she was assessing me...

Her smile widened as she came to some conclusion, "Of course, maybe you understand that a bit better than I initially thought..."

I looked at her, trying to figure out what she was saying...

"So, continuing on. I had the threesome with Richard. It was fun. Not really something I would have sought out for myself, but fun all the same. Then, my senior year, I met Laurel. She was in this shitty Bio class I had to take and I was struggling. We partnered up as lab partners. I thought she was cute, but there was no spark between us. She was so adorable about hitting on me, just this really slight, really downlow attitude, like she liked me, but she didn't want to offend me by taking a pass at me. The term ended and I guess she figured that this was her only chance. She asked me out and I had this moment where I just thought, fuck it..."