The Heart Wants Ch. 18-21

She came out, dressed in a killer shirt/skirt combo, white and black, respectively. Sensible, high heeled shoes. She looked like a fucking supermodel...

Laurel swung her BMW into the curb, stopping right in front of Rachel, putting the back-passenger door right in front of her. Rachel opened the door, threw her carryon in the seat next to her, and folded herself gracefully into the seat.

Laurel tilted herself into the back seat while Rachel leaned forward and kissed her. I have to say, I had a front seat view of that kiss and it was... memorable...

A car behind us hit it's horn rather annoyingly, breaking the two of them up...

I have to say... it was a little disappointing...

As we pulled away from the curb, Rachel slid up, crawling between the seats, "Hello, handsome!"

I smiled at her, "Hey Rach..."

She leaned in and gave me a heart splitting kiss...

It was one of those kisses that is so good, it just stops your ability to think...

She pulled back from me, giving me a wide smile.

She bounced her eyebrows, "Good to see you."

I smiled back at her, "Good to see you too!"

She gave me one of those runway smiles that stops the heart, "So. Homeless now, huh?"

Laurel piped up, "Hey! He's only slightly homeless! I hear he's moving in with two of the hottest chicks on the planet!"

All I could do was laugh and shake my head...

Laurel spoke up again, "So, what do we all want to do for dinner? Do we want to go out? Home?"

Rachel was of the opinion that she hadn't had a home cooked meal in weeks, and was very interested in going straight home to enjoy that. I really had no opinion on the matter and as such, deferred to the ladies.

The ride home was pretty uneventful. Rachel prattled on, Laurel asked her a million questions about her trip. Rachel engaged me a little in talking to me about the security work I was doing and how that integrated into the entire project. I had to admit, I hadn't gotten as far as I wanted to get, but that was also understandable considering that I had had some personal issues get in the way...

When we got home, I helped the girls make beef stew. I had to admit, I wasn't much of a cook and it was nice to take the opportunity to learn from the ladies how to do the job right.

We had an honest to god, sit down at the dinner table dinner together...

Rachel hit me with the first surprise I had had in a very long time...

She looked at me, "Link? Tell us about your family." She shrugged, shaking her head, "I can't honestly remember a single thing about that you've ever said about them..."

The question hit me out of left field. Rocking me...

I felt my gaze drop into my bowl and just kind of stick there, staring at the thick brown stew, as I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat...

Looking up at Rachel, I could practically see her starting to squirm...

She grimaced, "Did I just ask a stupid question?" she asked, and I could tell from the way that she looked at Laurel for support that she kind of expected Laurel to know how to bail her out.

Laurel looked embarrassed and shook her head, "I don't..." she floundered, "I don't really know. Link's never really said anything about them... and, uh... I never really thought to ask..."

Rachel put her hand on mine, "Baby, I'm sorry if I asked something too... personal..."

I smiled at her, forcing the smile onto my face, "No kiddo... I just... uh..." I stirred my stew, trying to wrap my brain around how to tell her this... "I'm uh... they're gone. I was, uh... I was an orphan. They passed away when I was eight."

Both of them were dumbstruck, looking at me in shock.

Rachel tilted her head, "Baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry."

I smiled at her, trying to set her mind at ease, "It's okay. I didn't mean to..." I took a deep breath, trying to wrap my brain back around the idea of opening up that part of me again... "Sorry..."

Both of them looked at me, their faces open as they just listened.

I gave my stew another good stir, figuring out what to say, where to start, "It's not that big a deal." I shrugged, "They went out for dinner one night, and they never came home."

A look, just a flash speared through her eyes, rage, "They abandoned you?"

I shook my head, "No. Drunk driver. He blew through a red light. Everyone said they never saw it coming. He hit them so hard their car turned over." I sighed, "The car hit on my mom's side."

I felt my voice go cold, the emotion bleeding out of it...

"I learned later that she was dead when the ambulance arrived, I never found out if she died when the car hit... or..." I couldn't bring myself to say it... couldn't bring to make myself think about her pain, her suffering, if she had lived through the initial impact. "My dad held on for a little while. At least until he got to the hospital."

All I could do was try to swallow past the lump in my throat, try to swallow the pain that I still felt...

Looking at them both, I tried to gauge how they were taking the news.

Laurel had tears in her eyes...

Rachel had a sympathetic look on her face, but she wasn't tearing up.

I smiled looking at her. She was so tough...

Shrugging, and intending to wrap it up, I added, "I ended up in the foster system..."

Rachel's face dropped, "What? Didn't you have any family, someone that could take you in?"

I gave her a weak smile, my gaze dropping to the table.

"My mom had a sister. She was only twenty-two at the time. I guess she decided that I was just too much responsibility. I wouldn't know. She never talked to me about it." I shrugged, "I understood."

That pissed Rachel off, I could see her grind her teeth, "Do you ever see her?"

I felt the surprise at what she said on my face. My eyebrows shot up as I frowned, "No. Why would I do that?"

Laurel grabbed my hand harder, "Because she's family."

I couldn't help but laugh...

I cut it short however, managing to choke it down to a snort, as I remembered Laurel's family situation.

Looking back down at the table, I mumbled, "Sorry..."

Laurel picked my hand up and kind of dropped it back down on the table, "Don't sweat it, hon..."

I shook my head, "No. That was insensitive of me."

I checked her face, worried that I might have hurt her feelings.

Panicking, I did the only thing I could to try to cover for my stupidity, I dove on, "I never tried to reconnect with her." Shrugging, I added, "I guess it never seemed like it mattered. She didn't want me in her life, didn't seem to be much point to force my way in..."

There was a part of me that was still worried I was just digging a deeper hole for myself with Laurel...

Rachel's laugh interrupted my worry.

My head snapped back around to her, trying to figure out what was so funny. I raised my eyebrows at her, silently asking her.

She tilted her head, giving me a half smile, "You turned out pretty well. Considering."

I frowned at her, "Considering what?"

She spread her hands, "Well. I don't know much about the foster system, but from what I've heard, it's pretty brutal..."

I shrugged, pushing those memories back... that was not something... not something I was going to be talking about. Not over dinner.

Fuck, let's be honest.

Not ever.

"It can be." I lied, "There are some places you definitely don't want to be. I think I kind of got lucky. I bounced around a lot, but for the most part, people seemed like they cared. They seemed like they at least wanted to try and find a place for me..."

Guilt stabbed through me as I realized how much I was flat out lying to them...

"As long as you're a good kid, and you keep your nose clean, things can be good. Of course, you get in trouble and end up in a group home..." I looked at each of them in turn, "things can get pretty shitty pretty fast."

Laurel shook my hand a little, "Then I guess it's a good thing you are a good boy, huh?"

I grimaced a little, biting my lip...

"Yeah... um... about that..." the words kind of spilled out of me, but secretly, I was thrilled to have the opportunity to extricate myself from the lies I was telling...

Looking at them, I could see the surprise on both of their faces.

"You got into trouble?" Rachel asked, shock registering on her face, "Like, legal trouble? Like big deal trouble?"

I shrugged, making a face, "Well... uh...yeah. I mean... uh... kinda."

Rachel pushed me, her tone playful. I could see it though. Could see the narrowing in her eyes. Could see her lock onto me. Panic shot through me as I remembered how much like me she was. How easy it was for her to see through people...

"Deal big man. What did you do? Steal a car?"

I scratched at the bridge of my nose, suddenly very embarrassed, but thankful to be getting off the topic... grateful that she had not taken the chance to call me out on my bullshit...

"Well... as a teenager... I kind of got arrested for a... uh... well... a, uh... felony."

This time I looked at Laurel, seeing the shock and surprise on her face. Her eyebrows shot up, "A felony? For what?"

I shrugged, "Um... a bunch of stuff. In all, I uh... kind of pled to... um... seventeen different charges..."

Rachel laughed, clearly shocked, "Seventeen! You committed seventeen felonies?"

I shrugged, "Well, not all of them were felonies. Just... uh... just most of them."

Laurel sat back in her change, crossing her arms, "Okay Mister Big Time Criminal. What did you do?"

I was embarrassed.

"I was kind of awkward. I had trouble meeting friends, and it seemed like when I did, I just ended up moving away from them. When I was fourteen, I ended up with this really nice older couple, Will and Ida." I nodded, feeling the guilt of what I had done creeping up my spine...

"I had been with them for about six months, and I was just this super shy, awkward kid." I smiled, remembering the first time I had felt happy... the first time I had felt safe in such a long time...

"They had this computer in like a side bedroom. This ancient thing... it still had MS-DOS as an operating system..."

Laurel looked at Rachel, "MS-DOS? What the fuck is that?"

Rachel smiled at her, covering her mouth, "It was what computers had on them before Windows came out..."

I smiled at them both, "Anyway, I used to play on their computer all the time. I'd mess with games, or write little stories. Just screwing around. I guess Will saw me and was struck with inspiration. One day, Will comes home, and he's got this computer for me in his car." There was a stab of emotion in me, my throat wanting to close up, "He bought it for me with their money," I had to look down to control the emotion roiling through me... such a simple, small thing, someone reaching into their own pocket and sharing with you, even when you weren't theirs... "and they put it in my room for me... the computer I mean."

Rachel laughed, her musical laughter filling the room, "Uh-oh."

I shrugged, grimacing, "Yeah. I found the internet. Started really digging into what a computer can do. Started studying network architecture. Internet security. Wasn't long before I had several mentors who were teaching me stuff I really shouldn't have been learning. It's amazing what you can learn on the internet."

I looked at them both, trying to gauge how they were taking the news...

Deciding it didn't matter, I continued, "Then I started, well, I guess you could call it hacking." I looked at Rachel, "Stuff like breaching pharmaceutical companies. Not damaging anything. Just worming my way in, looking around. Kind of like breaking into someone's house and just looking through their stuff..."

Rachel covered her mouth, her grin obvious, "So that's how you found that stuff so fast..."

I nodded, sighing, "Yeah... I kind of knew where to go looking for it..."

Grinding my jaw a bit I added, "I reached out to some old contacts first... there are some pretty shady spots on the internet, the kind of places that deal in information brokering. I thought maybe the hack was just a front for data theft. When they turned up nothing, I cast a wider net."

Rachel laughed again, "So what did you finally get busted for?"

I grimaced, "I broke into a DoD mainframe..."

Laurel's face went wide in shock, "What?! You mean, like, Department of Defense, DoD?"

I laughed a little, nodding my head, ashamed at how stupid I had been, "I didn't do any harm. I just did what any fifteen-year-old kid would do. I got curious and went looking for" I made little air quotes, "secrets."

Rachel gave me a stunning smile, "Did you find anything juicy?"

I frowned, scratching the back of my neck, "Yeah... about that... I kind of had to sign an NDA as part of my plea deal..."

Rachel looked disappointed, "Awww..."

I raised my eyebrows at her, "But I can tell you... aliens are real... and the government has been in contact with them."

Rachel slapped her hands on the table, "What?!"

I couldn't help but laugh. She had been so easy to bait...

"I'm kidding. I really didn't find anything special. Truth is, their stuff was so far beyond me that I couldn't make heads or tails of whatever it was that I did stumble on to. If I had had time to go through it all, I might have been able to figure it out, but the truth is, I worked on it for hours and hours. I got in for like four minutes before I chickened out and disconnected." Shrugging, I added, "The next day I got home from school and the police were waiting for me..."

Laurel's face went white, her concern for me, even past me, was heartwarming, "What happened? Did you end up in a group home?"

I shook my head, shame burning into me, "No. My foster parents nearly bankrupted themselves keeping my fat out of the fire... I got two years' probation and three hundred hours community service."

Rachel whistled, "Wow." I could see her mind bouncing in circles, "Wait. How come none of this showed up on your background check?"

I shrugged, sighing, "Will made sure as part of my deal that if I served my probation without incident that the record would get expunged... think I should talk to your boss about it?"

She pursed her lips, narrowing her eyes, "Might be better if you didn't mention it... that... might be one of those need to know kind of things..."

I nodded, giving her a little laugh, "Yeah, I thought that might be the smart move..."

Laurel nodded her head, "Bet they were pissed... your foster parents?"

I shook my head, fresh shame piling onto old, "No. That's actually the shitiest part of it. They never got mad at me. They were disappointed in me, but they did nothing but support me..."

Rachel laughed, "Well, I bet they at least made sure you never touched a computer the rest of the time you were in their house..."

I shook my head at her, "Actually, no on that front too. As soon as I signed my deal, Ida took me to the local college and signed me up for a bunch of computer classes. They got me private tutoring. They made sure I learned every last thing that I could ever want to learn..."

Rachel shook her head, "Are you kidding me?"

"Nope. Will said that if I had known what I was doing I wouldn't have gotten caught..."

Rachel threw her head back, laughing...

"I had the best education that you could ever hope for. Will and Ida were the kind of people that whenever they saw me take an active interest in anything they made sure that I learned everything I wanted about it. Will was a big fan of that idea, find something you love doing and you'll never work a day in your life..."

Laurel shook her head, "They sound like really amazing people..."

I nodded, feeling bad, "They are." A fresh wave of guilt passed through me, "In fact, that reminds me, it's been a few days since I've called them. I should probably do that..."

Rachel shook her head at me, laughing...

Laurel eventually joined her...