All Comments on 'The Hollybrook Witches'

I would have liked more... his wife and her lover need a whole lot of pain and Ed, the girls and Esse need some more written about them. A really good start. What about the mother-in-law? Is Agnes Morehead still around?

Absolutely first rate even if as usual you truncate the conclusion.

5 stars

How come they are always named Carl?

exellent

Dreams. They make our life different. But dreams seem to be our life. A wonderful story. Thank you for the opportunity to remember my dreams. I don't seem to be able to explain them yet. But, as they say, everything has its time. Good luck!

Dreams. They make our life different. But dreams seem to be our life. A wonderful story. Thank you for the opportunity to remember my dreams. I don't seem to be able to explain them yet. But, as they say, everything has its time. Good luck!

Wow, great story and well written. I loved it.

Interesting, but a little dull. The two confrontations especially were just disappointing. I'm fine with the witches and magic, but it all lacked a believable human emotional aspect. No real emotion in any of them. Just mannequins reciting a script, which is pretty typical for this site.

I liked this story. Though I was a little disappointed by the ending.

I don't require a big procedural ending with the cheater in torment as so many LW storied like to conclude.

No need to end with a tedious courtroom drama or having the cheater suddenly sad, poor, fat, and surrounded by cats. But once the extra step of Frank getting clocked in the head and the kids having a future part to play, some further resolution would have been nice.

Welcome back and thanks for a wonderful story. Tremendous writing as usual, and I felt Edward's pain as he watched his wife at the hotel, as well as the gut-wrenching sight of another man in her bed. Perhaps the most disturbing thing (to me, anyway) is that Frank, the older lothario, didn't make any attempt to hide or cower, indicating his confidence that Ed's discovery was no big deal because Ed's wife must have assured him that it was no big deal. What a cold, selfish bitch.

Good to know he has a bit of powerful, supernatural karma on his side. Well done.

Very similar to a story in 2000ad many years ago about a guy called Thomas Finder.

It was good until the ending, which was very abrupt.

-

What happened with the divorce?

It's very rare that the husband gets sole custody of the kids, so there's no chance of it happening here if Lucy was determined to keep them. She was only away on work trips for a weekend a month, which is no grounds to deny her primary custody. The girls were too young to choose which parent they could stay with.

-

Also Ed getting to know Esse would have been very interesting, especially as she was an immortal witch. It's a shame you didn't explore their relationship more, while the divorce was ongoing in the background.

So very good.

Wow awesome story I hope this will have a continuation as it feels like there are more things to be told

Good story. The switch in Edward seemed a little quick and unresolved. But I always love and appreciate your work.

Not bad at all but the denoument, discussions and apogee seem abreviated and hurried. Its unfortunate that you apear to have rushed a story that covers both love and building a family, eventual suspicion, discovery of betrayal, confrontation of the infidel, the discovery of a love extending hundreds of years and the final confrontational scene so ( i feel ) haphazardly.

The piece is well written and compelling and probably fits in the the limitations of Literotica well, The story itself though deserves a more expansive treatment. Its good, its just a shame it isnt great.

I really liked it but the end was rushed. It feels a bit unresolved

A little bit of a rushed ending but so much more different than the typical fare of this author. A very nice change and I liked it a lot.

Thank you for writing it.

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

Please author dont tell me thats where it ended? It's an ending but yet if feels a bit in-complete?

Thanks for sharing...

It’s a great unfinished story, that leaves me indifferent to your characters. If that’s your goal congratulations.

Betcha some bad stuff happens to those left behind. A series of bad luck events. D

I feel like the ending could have been fleshed out more. A Good story

Good story but a very abrupt ending with no real explanation about the wife and her “friends”, unless you’re planning a part two?

It was a good story ,but the ending could have been better.

excellent story! I'm pleading now, you can's stop here. Your writing gets you invested into your characters. Love to learn more about them. Also like the historical aspects here too.

A well spun tale.

It's very good. Definitely needs a follow-up though.

Good yarn, however you wrapped it up way too quickly. A conversation between the polyamorous couple and his wife trying to justify their positions would have been good.

Hope this haver a part 2

Very good

So wonderful to see something new from you!

This was very compelling; a great read, very well done. I don't usually go for the supernatural stories here. But this delivers all the outrage so many of us LW readers crave. Wow do I hate Lucy. (That’s a compliment!)

I love this story. That doesn’t come as a surprise, I have enjoyed all of your stories that I have read.

A decent story but wow - what a rushed ending. Boom he catches her cheating and boom end of story

Didn’t like the finish. Needed more. Still gave a 5⭐️

Ah, the old "I've been a better wife and lover because of my affairs" spiel.

Interesting twist with the nightmares and witches.

Not that he was the main culprit but, I find myself wanting to know if Frank died or was merely injured.

Very enjoyable read, just the ending was lacking.

Very nice story and to my knowledge reasonably unique. Well done!

I haven't been able to register so far for obscure reasons but I am an avid reader of Literotica and I am happy to discover such an original author. I gave 5* and will read your other stories.

Enjoyable tale. The ending though seemed a bit abrupt.

Thanks 😊

kind of an anti climatic ending

honestly the thing I hate worse than anti climatic endings is the scenario where the wife literally advocating for an open marriage is upset some other woman wants to but hasnt yet fucked her husband

Somehow my disappointment over the ending is surpassed by the skill of the author.

Lucinda got hers, almost. Esse should have beaten her to death. Lucinda really won't miss the kids... 10 stars, would another chapter be possible?

Magnificent!!!

Thank for sharing a beautiful story.

It would be really nice to give us more of the witches' adventures.

This excellent chapter is finished but the doors are kept open.

Good to see you back

That was a lot of fun but a little light on the resolution with the wife for my liking. And I presume the mom knew? Could have wrapped up their relationship as well.

Pure dribble! I gave it one star but not worth that. The ending was rushed. Hopefully there’s a part two but somehow I don’t it

A hell of a story, but it seemed disjointed; almost as if there are missing sections. It's going on the favorites list anyway!

RG sure does character development. Fascinating story. Now we understand why the twins are a handful. I hope RG turns this into a series.

That could be a story with multiple chapters. Well done!

Meh. Weak ending killed a somewhat decent story.

What a story. Brilliant. 5*.

Congratulation. Beautiful story.

It's really a shame to have stopped here.

It's like posing a problem, saying that he was going to solve it but without ever explaining the details, the trials and difficulties.

The appetizer was fine, but I have the awful feeling of having the main course taken out just before I started eating it.

Another fascinating story from this talented writer. Clearly a 5 star story. I'm glad to see you writing again.

great as always

A fascinating weaving of historical fact and fiction with the psychology of love and lust in human relationships. I'll say it again, differently--this is one hell of a mesmerizing love story piled on top of a creative re-imagining of an era long past, although the ignorance of human prejudice still permeates our society. The wife's infidelity is almost irrelevant but quite believably staged to provide the precipitating climax, allowing the protagonist to follow his true destiny. Top notch writing, top notch creativity.

Damn, I like stories like this! 10 out of 10

(Much) More please!

MLJ

I'll be honest always had a soft spot for true love

Not in this author's wheelhouse, but technically well written.

I really liked this though not my typical fair. Well thought out and well written.

Thanks.

What a bizarre and wonderful story. Thank you for sharing it

Missed you. Always enjoy your stories. You have a rare talent, and hope that you reap your just reward with your novel. But please favor us at least occasionally with one of your short stories.

We missed you, Gerald! Great story, as expected. Five stars ⭐️ for this one.

What the fuck was that? The connection and use of witches in the story has nothing to do with anything with regard to what's actually going on..

.

So because Esmeralda is actually a witch from 300 years ago it's OK for the wife to cheat and for the modern law and the therapist to be in on for cheating which is going on for years?

Good story but seems incomplete

If you're going to put this in LW I suspect that the majority of those that read it want to know what happened to the cheating wife. Did she go live with her lover? Was she fucking Oscar also? Ending it like you did is a disservice to those that read the whole story.

Great story but so unfinished? I am more than curious about the wife's mom and did she know, did she care? Then the wife isn't just going to give up either. I get the finish, but it left me wanting more.

FTDS

Way too wordy in the beginning and middle, then way too quick at the end. Too many holes/questions left to reconcile this as a good story.

Wonderful!!!

Loved it. Could see a series from here.

5* work again. Well done.

This could be the start of a whole series. Well done.

Good but a little rushed at the end.

Great story with mystery and suspense

Interesting plot and story. But as someone else said it seemed a little rushed at the end. I had a hard time following it. 4*

Gerald is a complicated writer. Intersting though. Some of his stories are great writing, some others are..... well, let's just say not so great. But I like this one. So, I guess, good to have you back.

5starrs

I think this is a great first half of your story

Look forward to you finishing it!

I liked it very much, it was a unique tale. I’ve missed your writing and I hope you will continue. I would like to read your novel when you it’s finished.

I am not sure this is allowed but going off this story i would very much like to read your novel. What is your books name?

This was a well focused story. I hesitate to say this, but it could have used another couple of pages to flesh out the baddies

Who the hell is Oscar and what does he have to do with the story?

The ending lacked, everything was a great build up but rhen ending wasn't, would have been interesting to see where it went what with the twins and how Lucy coped with losing her love as she put it

I like the author, but the dreams and witches put me off. Four stars instead of five.

Hadn't been on Lit for a long time, came on here and end up on a very good story. Two comments:

1. Interestingly, the stats are the exact opposite of those portrayed in the story (forget which character says it). Reconciliation is twice as likely to happen if the cheater is the husband than the wife. Not sure if it's because women expect men to cheat or men have bigger egos or it's the finances, but husbands are much more likely to divorce if the wife cheats than visa versa.

2. The ending as others noted was very abrupt. Yes, at first I was looking forward to find out what happens, but thinking about it, with the supernatural element I probably don't need all the details of divorce, how the new relationship went, etc. etc. However, the ending was still very abrupt. Can still have it where there is no epilogue or continuation of the story, but done differently. I feel like the ending needs something to it, and not necessarily much of a continuation.

Last point. I could go for a poly relationship with a gf, even if really into her, but not a wife. I think if I were to get in a poly relationship I would hold just a little bit back; not allow myself fully vulnerable or all in with my mate. Having said that now that I'm mid-century old, I think if you have a healthy libido poly makes the most sense. I think every person who has a healthy libido, zest for life, and the ability to attract the opposite sex would love poly openness for themselves. To have that new relationship feels and everything that goes with it one can only get, well, with a new relationship. The trouble is that most of us can't handle our mates wanting the same. Hypocrites most of us are. Me very much included; maybe more than most!

Good right up until the very end when I think the story ended too suddenly. Was Frank dead? Did Edward get a divorce, custody, alimony, child support? What happened to the relationship with his mother-in-law? What did Lucy do in the divorce? Did he get the job at BC? Enquiring minds want to know. Good Halloween story. LOL!

Wonderfully woven tale

Thank you for writing

Another well written story. The ending confrontation/discussion was a bit abrupt compared to the rest of the stories pace, yet did detail the forward movement of the protagonists.

5 pages and then this rushed ending? I hope there is a second chapter.

I don't understand why the wife is angry? She had and has several lovers and is polymarous, but denies her husband the same freedom?

I personally like the scenario where the wife wants open marriage when it benefits her, but cries havoc when it benefits the husband. It's a succinct and cathartic way to reveal the hypocracy of her values. The wife has built a rationalization for her behavior. This tears it down without a fruitless debate.

I'd like to see more of those two ladies fighting over him as a poetic reversal of the situation.

Pop now the corn, warm and buttery.

For us to scorn, reveal their sluttery.

Confronted with her paramours,

Hold true to self and stay the course.

(Abide thou never selfish whores

(Because that is true nuttery.))

Wonderful story! Happy to see you back here again. Would love to read more on this story but I understand you have other commitments. Thank you for sharing

"kept my doubts to myself. You could not ask for a better wife" - He couldn't ask for a better wife, but had his doubts?

\

"what I had found in her travel case before her last trip" - Wasn't it AFTER her last trip?

\

"I think I'll walk from here," - They took their CARS, plural. Doesn't he have to go back and get his car?

\ Of course the female therapist who all but tells her to have the affair. "That doesn't make you a bad person or indicate a lack of love for your husband." Would she tell Edward the same thing?

\

"he had a beer belly and a habit of falling asleep most evenings in front of the TV" - Is that true about Edward?

\

"my wife accused, her eyes narrowing." - She's got no right to be making accusations.

\

It didn't need much more, but why was his m-i-l sorry? Did she know about the affair?

\

@Powersworder, with her high-powered job and traveling, him being the primary care-giver with a soon to be stay-at-home wife, I think custody is a near lock for him.

\

Thank you for not doing a RAAC.

Well full marks!

Wonderful story but only 4 stars due to the lack of a final chapter. The sudden ending with a cut head for the lover and being called a bitch for the unfaithful wife was not a worthy finale. The author created an intriguing and detailed plot that was let down when the final confrontation consisted a 'bitch' and 'see you later' with no explanation of the wife's penance or suffering or who the fuck was Oscar?

The author is a brilliant writer and builds up the story well. But then he finds a way to make the ending a disappointment. It's like he doesn't understand the magnitude of the actions of his offenders and writes a 'no biggie, all is good' consequence for the horrible actions.

In a way the stories are like a virgin teenage guy getting ready for his first time. He gets himself all worked up to the point that when comes to do the deed, he blows his load moments before actual penetration.

This could have been a 4.7-4.8 scoring story, but will probably hover on the edge of a Red-H due to a weak ending.

Well done and held my interest throughout. ✴✴✴✴✴5 stars!!!

Real good and with an ending...5*

It's easy to see...

It's easy to see that Esse has her (willing) man and will do whatever is necessary for them and their little witches to have a successful life. I think that can be easily assumed. Should anyone left in his house make a concerted effort to stop that, I'm sure a series of unfortunate events would befall them.

While I don't NEED the author to lay out pages of that, just a bit would be nice. There are so many possible outcomes from where the story left off, just a small bit of direction of focus would have helped to close the story out.

Obviously, so very, very well done. Thanks for sharing.

An excellent tale, but it ended rather abruptly.

Great story but felt that the ending lacked depth 5 stars

It's great to see a new story from you! Welcome back RG. I'm an avid fan of your work.

As usual, the writing is top-notch, and the quick scene changes enhance the story, not detract. total 5* effort.

Can't help taking a shot at the commenters here. The story is part of a writers' contest regarding aliens or the supernatural, in the LW genre. Some thought the ending abrupt. Okay, I'll give you that. But honestly, come on! Big, strong beautiful Frank COULDN'T just trip either, and smash his face in, without some help from the witch. Of course, our MC is going to get full custody of the kids. His girlfriend is a malevolent witch who can't die! Our MC was so overwhelmed with her that he forgave his wife, who had been cheating on him with multiple partners for three years!

But the ending to me was spot on. I hate epilogues, and I only write them on LIT, because I understand the needs of the reader in this category. It's all about finality, and scoreboard. In a novel, I like to leave to ending slightly open for the reader to use their imagination, or like in this case, where RG ended it was at the most impactful moment. Nothing that happens, or could happen later on is as important as what happened as MC and Esse left the house. And no need for a second chapter either. We know who lives happily ever after and who doesn't.