All Comments on 'The Homecoming'

by menunnc

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  • 2 Comments
sacksackover 18 years ago
excellent!

rises above the typical stroke story and you could have submitted the chapters separately to prolong the excitement. A little late now, but if you plan on doing future chapters I would submit them in that manner. Thanks for sharing!

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Excellent

Very good, exceptional in fact. You need to work on your transitions from one scene or act to another. As it is, a reader can get a little lost in the plot and action.

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