The Jade Warrioress: Pt. 01

For the best reading experience please read "Cosmic Claudia" stories first. It should not be necessary to follow plot but can help to understand those characters when they pop up.

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"For eons after the war Calipee led in her mistress's stay. She became cruel and made life hell for all on the planet. An underground movement began. It took centuries but they finally mastered space travel and began to slip off to find Domina's world, Earth. They found the ancient tablets that told of Domina and her goddesses. They heard the stories of the goddesses being reborn. All they needed was one to take back and fight Calipee."

The nursing Claudia and shell-shocked Nerd just looked at each other.

"Surely, you can't be serious," the Nerd sputtered out.

"I don't understand. What does it mean?" Claudia asked.

"It means they want you to fight a demon!"

"Oh, no, I don't fight. Fighting is wrong."

"You must," one of the aliens cried, "only a Goddess can stop her."

"I thought you guys were just calling me that. I'm not a real goddess."

"But... but..."

"She has no powers," Nerd told them, "That thing would kill her."

"What do we do?"

"Hit me!"

"What?!" the frightened student exclaimed.

She looked up at her towering teacher as if the African American amazon had gone insane.

"Did you come here to learn self-defense or not?" Jade demanded.

"Y...yes...but..."

"Blocking blows will only work for so long. You need to be willing to hit your attacker or it's all over."

The girl threw a weak little love tap to Jade's abs. The goddess of war sighed.

"That's it for today."

The girl ran for the showers. Jade shook her head. This was not what she expected when she started this dojo. The water in the small tabletop fountain shifted to clay which leapt out of the fountain transforming into a stunning plus sized English woman.

"Maybe turn down the intensity just a smidge, Love," she teased.

"What are you doing here, Graham?"

A bolt of lightning crashed through the ceiling forming into a gorgeous Latinx woman.

"As if you don't know."

"Alva, don't you have fairy tales to write."

"Children's fiction, there is a difference."

A rock point rose through the floor before turning to dust to reveal an Indian woman with an impossible ass.

"Please don't get her started."

"There is!"

"Oh no, Bombay, do come in," Jade snarked.

A faint light filtered in through the rafters forming into a cute country blonde.

"Play nice, Sis."

"I am not your sister, Kindly. None of us are."

A motorcycle could be heard outside. Another English woman, this one with short hair, tattoos and a more working-class accent, waltzed in.

"I remember being sisters."

"No, you don't Wildcard. You remember Glaucia and Oya being sisters. They both died. All those goddesses died. We inherited their powers and their memories. Not their relationship."

"And whose choice has that been?" Ms. Graham asked, pinching her cheek.

Jade slapped her hand away.

"I don't want to celebrate my birthday. Got it? Good. Go home."

"She's just pouting cause no one prays to her," Wildcard mocked.

The others became very uncomfortable. Jade grimaced, trying to keep her temper in check.

"It's not her fault no one prays for war," Alva offered.

"Thanks," Jade snapped.

"Sorry."

"It's not that I want people to die," Jade explained, "it's just that I'm a fighter. I became a goddess whose whole thing is fighting. That damn Swedish Bella struck twice and Zexyfilth once before I reincarnated. Neither have been seen since."

"Be grateful," Kindly said, "from what my past lives remember Kaal can only ever bring disaster."

"I can handle it."

Something tingled in the back of her mind before spreading all over.

"Gah! What is this?"

"Someone's praying to you," Ms. Graham said.

Jade was ecstatic as she arrived on the alien ship. Especially since she had convinced the others to stay behind. She turned to the startled and mismatched crew.

"Tell me everything."

Once she was up to speed, she took some Clay from a canteen she always carried. She rubbed it around a nearby doorframe. It bubbled for several minutes before forming into a swirling vortex in the middle of the doorway.

"Do not leave this spot until I tell you," She commanded one of the aliens.

"Yes, Goddess," it said.

A massive smile plastered across her face, she jumped into the vortex.

She landed in the middle of a small, destroyed village. It looked like something the Smurfs would build if they were cyborgs. It had also clearly seen war.

"Alright, you big bad Kaal! Come out and show yourself! You like picking on these little guys? Try fighting a real goddess!"

"Real?" A gorgeously accented voice mocked from somewhere unseen. "Going by smell alone I'd say you're no older than what... three? Ugh, and you didn't shower after your last workout. Where is your self-respect?"

"I respect myself just fine. It's you I have no respect for."

"Witty," the voice snarked.

"Just get out here and fight me!"

"If you insist."

A column of sickly, dirty Clay burst from the ground. It swirled and shifted forming into a gorgeous woman a full head taller than Jade. She held herself with a poise and power usually reserved for royalty.

"Now tell me, Little Girl," Calliope mocked, "what's got you all torn up?"

Jade took this chance to sucker punch her enemy. While her fist did collide Callopie's head, she barely registered it.

"Poor form."

She grabbed Jade by the throat and threw her through several buildings, collapsing them on top of her. Jade kicked her way out.

"And that ends our practice round," Jade smirked.

Taking a boxing stance, she let her jabs and crosses fly. They were easily avoided by Calliope. The kaal grabbed her arm and effortlessly tossed her into a wall.

"I'm waiting for you to begin my dear. It's rude to keep a girl waiting."

Growling, Jade pushed herself back up. She fired out a series of rapid kicks which also failed to connect with their target.

"I'm growing tired of your games, Little Girl."

Calliope shifted her arm into a mass of dirty clay and swung it like a bat. This blow did connect. Jade was sent flying, crashing into a rock outcropping.

"Fuck," Jade moaned.

She hated to admit but this bitch was going to be harder to beat than she expected. She was going to need help. She wouldn't let her so called 'sisters' have the benefit of the 'I told you so', she didn't need them. She would make do with what was here. She placed her hand on the ground and closed her eyes. If there were women anywhere on this planet, she would find them.

Her energy pulse found a match. Sort of. It matched enough. She followed the trail for miles, finally arriving at a small village. This one was still intact. Several little green women poked their heads out of the doorways.

"Hey, ladies! How would you like to get your planet back?"

"It's impossible," one said.

"Calliope is a goddess," another argued. "She rules us all. We only live because she allows it."

"She is no goddess. She is a monster. She only takes and hurts. A goddess helps. A goddess gives."

Closing her eyes, she lifted her hands and pointed them, palms out, toward the women.

Calliope continued her stroll through the destroyed village. This was the most excitement she had felt since coming to this miserable little rock. If this was the caliber of goddess Domina had been creating, then maybe it was time for her to return to the Earth. Jade emerged onto the central foot path.

"Ready for round two?"

"Tenacious little runt, I'll give you that."

"Now!"

A ring of green skinned Amazons, bald with wide almond shaped black eyes, emerged from the ruins of the village.

"You think granting them a little of your power turns the tables here, Goddess?"

"Seems that way."

She turned and marched toward the nearest Amazon. The woman turned a paler shade of green before running off. The circle broken, the others turned and fled as well.

"What the hell?!" Jade shouted after them.

"They've been under my thumb for centuries. Did you think a stranger could just lead them into battle in minutes? Talk about a messiah complex. I think I'm done playing now."

She transformed her arms into a mace and club.

Back on the ship the vortex began to bubble.

"What's going on?" Claudia asked.

Battered and bruised Jade came flying through. She crawled toward the Clay.

"Must... shut it... down."

She barely reached it when Calliope stepped through.

"To which ever of you is captain of this ship," she announced, "take me to Earth."

"Just use the Clay," one of the little green men suggested.

Calliope smashed him through the console.

"She can't," Jade laughed, weakly. "Only a true goddess can control it. All she did was catch a ride."

She lifted Jade up by the back of the neck.

"Then be my herald. Tell them of my return."

She tossed her through the vortex which sealed up behind her.

"Lock onto her signal and beam me there. Do it fast enough and maybe I won't smash this ship to pieces on my way out."

The vortex reformed in the doorway to the dojo. Out came Jade crashing onto the floor.

"Jade!" the others shouted.

They started to rush her, but Ms. Grahm waved them back. She pulled Clay from the ground and wrapped it around her sister. After a few minutes, she was as good as new.

"She's coming," Jade gasped.

"What?"

"Calliope is coming. I can't fight her alone. I can't do anything. It wasn't even a challenge for her."

"It will be," Wildcard growled, drawing a chain off her bike outside to her.

"What?"

"She hurt our baby sister," Alva explained calmly. "No one does that and lives." These words were punctuated by lightning coursing around her.

"No one's ever stood up for me before."

"You aint alone no more, Darlin'," Kindly reminded her.

Jade stood up and smiled.

"Let's kick her ass."

Calliope held the nerd by his throat, heading for the airlock. Claudia pummeled her back uselessly.

"I warned you. Lock onto the signal and the girl will be spared."

The Clay vortex reformed. She dropped the nerd. Claudia rushed to her side.

"Did you do that?"

"It wasn't us," one the little green men said, terrified.

She walked closer.

"Is this that little shit, back for more?" she laughed.

The Clay became a giant fist and punched her into the console. The six sisters stepped through.

"More like a whole family of little shits," Jade quipped. "Wildcard!"

"On it!"

She ran forward and tossed her chain which bound the Kaal. Once that was done, she focused on the metal of the ship, reinforcing it for the battle to come. As Calliope took to her feet, Alva fired a bolt of lighting into the chains, and into her enemy's body.

Bombay focused on the asteroids in the nearby belt and began growing mountains. This brought them together, linking the asteroids into one large boulder. An unseen force grabbed it and pulled it away.

Jade swept out Calliope's legs and dove down to catch her neck between her own. She twisted them around, trapping her. Ms. Graham swallowed her into her arm, which he had transformed into a massive dripping Clay form and tossed her against the airlock.

"I think you've got this, Kindly," Jade said.

"The moon goddess," Calliope laughed. "What is she going to do? We're nowhere near Earth."

"Whoever said my powers are limited to just that moon, Sugar."

They opened the airlock and dumped her ass out. Calliope struggled with her chains as she slowly floated. If she could just get free... what was that moving in the corner of her eye. The boulder Bombay made was spinning around the moon at great speed. With each rotation it got closer and closer to her. It also got faster and faster. She struggled even more but it did her no good. The boulder jumped over the ship and slammed into her, splattering Calliope into Clay.

The little green men tended to their injured friend. Claudia tried to check on the nerd, but he pushed her away with a distant look in his eyes.

"Let's get you all back to Earth so you can... repair," Jade said gingerly.

Ms. Graham spread The Clay over the ship and pulled them all through the vortex home. Once the ship was dropped off, Jade went out for birthday drinks with her sisters.

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Claudia and her nerd's story will be continued from here in "Cosmic Claudia Ch. 03"