All Comments on 'The JAG Officer's Wife'

I loved this story! Thank you for writing. 5 stars.

I expected the jury to send Cain a message with a one dollar award. Poor Rollie Cruz - he can’t seem to draw a winning hand to save his life! First Crazy Kendall, and then Coach Cain. Jayzus! - cut the poor buzzard a break - or not! He plays a good comic foil in his supporting role. A fun and engaging story. Well done.

Thoroughly enjoyed that, despite misgivings about Cat's happy ending. 5 stars.

Nice but really out there.

5 stars

A good story but could have been shorter.

Good story. Had the makings of a great story but the connection of the friend/brother in law/brother and now ex wife getting together seems a stretch and a try at reconciliation/balance. I find it highly unlikely that he would do that or that the ex wife would knowing how close everyone is. Grant made it clear that he never wanted to see or talk to her ever again unless forced too for their son. Not sure how that dynamic changed for that possible connection so soon after ( yes remarried and a new kid time frame ) since it would still be fresh in everyone’s mind. Besides the fact that the ex wife allowed her son Danny to be humiliated and disrespected for 9 months besides the cheating. Danny clearly had issues with it since he beat him so bad and I don’t think he would have accepted that very easy. Seeing his mom at his dad’s functions and being reminded of that time constantly.

Making of a great story except for trying to balance it for everyone.

Good story, piss poor ending.

CHUCK2468

4.75 so I had to round up the stars.

Great story offkilter123; something that this category has been lacking for a while. Loved how it was setup. 5*’s and much appreciated! Thanks

Well written, well thought out, hangs together. The whole thing about jumping on the coach in public with tv cameras going doesn't ring true. I don't think that a person like Cat would do that with her own husband. Nothing suggested to the reader that she was a football freak or overly loyal to the high school or personally involved in the coach's career, so there is no support for a person who says she is trying to be discreet to act that way.

Your story was very good. All of the characters were believable, including Cain.

I am a retired lawyer, with 35+ years of civil trial experience representing both plaintiffs and defendants. I know this fiction and that writers in LW often take advantage of literary license to further a story. My only complaint is on page 4 when Cruz explains the plaintiff's burden of proof in a civil trial is that the claim "could have happened."

The actual burden of proof is "that it is more likely true than not true." That it is greater than 50 percent likely. The legal definition is "by a preponderance of the evidence." Saying it could be true would only require a likelihood of at least one percent. If you have no legal training or experience in civil trials in the US I would not expect you to know different burdens of proof. However Mr. Cruz would certainly know this.

Shouldn't sexual predator objection be "overruled"?

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ knocked it out of the park! One hell of a story, well written, a real page turner!

Good twist!

Good effort. Quibbles:

1. Walk-ons are in college football. Not in the pros. Just undrafted free agents.

2. the jumping on the coach and wrapping legs was unnecessary to the ultimate plot.

3. Needed some way to understand the wife going totally crazy with the affair. Moving the coach into her new home? Almost immediately upon moving and starting to teach? Expecting her son to never say anything to dad? Coach parking his truck every night across street from husband's best friend's house? Too much.

:)

A fun read, great twist in the plot line. 5*

The ending involving the wife and neighbor ruined the story for me. I'm sorry.

Excellent. 5*

W A Y T O O W O R D Y!

Once the reader figures out that he would see his wife kissing someone on air it was a good 200 words before it happened in the story.

This story needed to be cut by more than half.

A bit tedious with the round and round investigation and trial. Some interesting twists like the son taking out the coach, as he deserved and the cleverness of the whole family. Unfortunately, the wife is redeemed. I don't think she needed to be badly burned but, essentially, she ends up being welcomed back into the family. Coming at the end as a type of wrap up, that dropped my appreciation of the whole.

Even after the reveal that Danny had told his Dad about the affair immediately it still doesn't make sense that during the investigation of the assault that it was said multiple times that when Cat kissed the coach after the championship game everyone thought she was his wife or girlfriend. They taught at the same school, everyone would have known he was single and that she was a married co-worker. Then later in the story it's said that their affair was flagrant and basically everyone either knew or suspected. Fairly big inconsistency.

Otherwise, entertaining story.

Very good story, OK123! I really enjoyed this! Thank you for posting!

It was a good story. BUT...the civil admissions would allow the prosecutor to easily get convictions for the felony assault, and they'd all go to jail. They admitted the conspiracy, and under vicarious liability principles, they'd all be guilty no matter who did the deed. They had to lie or do the time.

Thinking about it now, I believe they would have been found guilty even if there had been no civil trial, because they were all dressed the same. But a much tougher case without the sworn admissions.

Finally, all but one of them did in fact lie under oath. A tangled web.... D

Well done! I didn't think that it was too wordy. It had some nice twists and turns as well. Good read!!!

Very good but no explanation as to why a faithful wife of 20 years would do this or taking so many chances of being found out? How many friends and neighbours would have seen her throw her legs round the coach? Then taking to her family home where so many friends and neighbours could have seen them? 4 stars

Really enjoyed the story despite the plot holes others have mentioned. Without the inconsistencies the 4* I gave it would have been 5*. Thanks.

Wonderful story. I don't even remember seeing any typos. Five Stars

An enjoyable story, but I REALLLLLY had to suspend disbelief that such an allegedly clever attorney and his equally clever family all made a confession of conspiracy in civil court which could easily be used against them in a subsequent criminal trial. Would have made sense if they'd previously gotten far along enough in the criminal case for double jeopardy to apply, but here, since no charges were ever brought against them, let alone a jury having been empanelled, they could still be arrested and prosecuted.

I really enjoyed this one. A lot of nice twist and turns. This story is an example of why I visit literotica.

Loved the story. Really enjoyed the story but your math skills are in need of a little work. The jury awarded 1000 real and compensatory damages, and 100 in punitive. That's 1100 not 1010. Now we are left wondering, was it a type-o or a math mistake. Did the jury award 10 dollars in punitive or did the author make a mistake in addition?

As far as their confession in civil court being used in criminal court, I'm not sure any DA would want to try and prove who did it and who conspired to do it. I'm not sure even Hamilton Burger would want to dig into that steaming pile of dog do. As for OJ? Marsha Clark just didn't know how to squeeze the juice. So, don't take everything so seriously.

Loved the story, thank you! You managed the civil trial amazingly well, but (IMO as an attorney) you misrepresented a few matters with big implications. Those didn't take away from the great job you did with this tale. Much appreciated.

Great read!

Enjoyable reading. The matching sweatclothes was brilliant. As i read the trial scenes, i kept thinking the jury would award Cain $1 from each defendant. I’m on the fence with the ending. With Bobby Lee being involved in the conspiracy, and how angry Betty Lou was about Cat’s affair, i have trouble believing that he’d want anything to do with Cat. Putting the relationship in Grant’s hands was 100% cop-out. Asking Grant if Cat would cheat again was just plain stupid - Bobby Lee had no doubt already made his judgement on the issue. IMO the story would have been better without that relationship.

I really liked this story

“Fuck that guy”

Enjoyed the story but I don’t believe that Cat would have gotten off that easy. Nor do I believe that the sister-in-law’s would have gotten involved with her in the end. But it’s not my story.

“I am Spartacus”

Man, it went so well unril that stupid Bobby Lee ruined the story for me. Dang! About to give this a 4-star but the writer seems to have the itch to give me the bird finger just to make a twist. I mean really? I don't think Ferguson is that small a town the stupid beta male Bobby couldn't find women not named Cat? Thanks a lot @offkilter 123. 3.5 star.

I had this scored a 5/5 - right up until Bobby Lee said that he was seeing Cat. Even worse was Grant giving Bobby Lee permission for Bobby Lee to date Cat and potentially bring her back into the family. WTF? 3/5 BRB

Loved it.

Easy 5 from me.

It was an entertaining read, why would anyone try to find fault.

It was a 5 star until you paired Cat with Bobby Lee. I find it strange that male authors will provide grace to the adulterous wife but reign brimstone and fire upon the male outside party cheater. The ex wife described Cain as a sexual predator as if that somehow clears her of engaging in an affair especially in her marital home and bedroom in front of her son. The Keels were not stabbed in the back by Cain but by Cat! She was the only one close and dear to them to be able to hurt them so badly. Yet a part of divorce is separating and moving on in different directions. How can the MC have that if he is forced to interact with his ex and his sister in law’s brother getting together.

Needs an editor. If you have one, get someone else.

“…pole the jury”? Sounds painful!

Well written but the perfect husband and instant love replacement clichés took the score down

Good writing. I like that you didn’t write a btb as those mostly come off as fantasies by people that have been burned themselves.

A couple of notes on the Army JAG side. First IG perform systemic inspections to ensure a unit is following doctrine, process and procedures but do not identify what units within a command had shortcomings, only the trends that they analyze based on compliance percentage throughout a command. An OSJA is far more likely to work on a down day in prep for an Article 6 visit from The Judge Advocate General of the Army (TJAG) (though I suspect you know this)

Second. A CPT will refer to a LTC as Sir, not their rank. It’s a breach of customs and courtesy for a lower ranking person to address a higher ranking one by their rank.

Third. It would be more likely for a LTC to fall in with a MAJ than a CPT, even a second tour CPT, also unless that CPT has legal experience prior to joking the Army, I doubt a retiring JAG would ask them to start up a practice with them, too inexperienced.

My nitpicking aside, I enjoyed the story and offer these notes only to improve your writing for my selfish enjoyment!😁

offkilter123 has burst on the scene with abut a story every two weeks for the past 13 months, He has an interesting style and like some of the really good authors on this site is not afraid to use his cleverly crafted characters in more than one story. I urge you to go to the author page and check out him and his stories.

I gave this story a 5.

The Hoary Cleric

Nice twist. Some might feel it was too wordy or repetitive but at 4 am and unable to sleep it was a wonderful distraction. Another tale of woe. Nice circling of the wagon and showing the resilience of family.

Great story. Cat was completely delusional, everyone in their town knew, she let her lover come over with her son in the house, he parked his truck in the street for everyone to see. How did she think it would turn out? In the end she was just an evil horn woman who wanted to do what she wanted to do.

Letting Cat marry back into the family reduced a 5 star story to 4 stars. But that’s just me. She is a despicable human being. The rest of the story was very entertaining.

Tightly plotted and generally well written, but the many minor errors suggest that more careful editing is warranted. For example, what does it mean to pole a jury? What does $1000 + $100 equal? Etc.

The Bobby Lee part of the ending was ridiculous. The idea that Randy deserved what he got and the slut only takes a mulligan is morally offensive. The author's statement of the standard of proof in a civil trial is laughably wrong. Then there is the DEI certified cast of characters, the illiterate, woketard use of "their", the kow-towing to Dementia Joe's Maoist style cultural revolution by by referring to FORT HOOD as fort cavasos, and the bullshit counseling cliche (oh wise oracle, reveal to me the deep, unknown reasons I'm a treacherousslut!)..all earn a 1.

Like someone already said it was a little tedious but overall pretty good.

Really great story. As to your reference to Fort Cavazos, you have kept up with the name changes the military instituted regarding the Civil War. Found a very few errors in name use but the story had a good flow which keeps your readers involved. THANKS for an enjoyable read

Wife did not deserve any sort of happy ending. Better if she killed herself. Why/ Affair, asking son to cover for her, ignoring the assault on her son, and finally considering keeping the affair going even after husband returned. Pure evil.

Great story! Best today by a mile!

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3 minor quibbles about plot: first, readers didn’t get any info about how or how well Cat managed to repair her relationship with Danny. In some ways, she destroyed THAT relationship more completely than with her husband.

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Secondly: the plot device of having his brother’s brother in law connect up with Cat was just strange. Not so much the BIL asking Grant for permission (which was strange), but that BIL even bothered to give Cat the time of day, much less want a relationship with her. Just weird.

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Finally: Danny was apparently a top rated D1 QB prospect. So he goes to West Point. They DO play D1 football there 😎. Did he play?

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5 *****

1 star - It is my personal belief that this kind of gratuitous violence is just not acceptable in the LW category.

There are thousands of ways to achieve revenge without resorting to violence. After you read about a thousand of the stories in this category, you will probably have more than a few options.

By the way, ANY kind of legal situation that involves going to court is probably the best way to get your story downgraded by at least 2 points.

Other than that - have a nice almost spring day.

I think Cat was dismissed from school at the same time as Cain - can’t be bothered go back and verify. Then in the last few paragraphs Danny is talking to her. 5* though. Interesting story. after the divorce and after she returns from school….. you need a better editor/proofreader!

I enjoyed the story but the legal ending would not have been the happy ending written in the story. The police would have reopened the case with most of the missing pieces now known. With convictions, the son could forget about his West Point appointment and the father would be forced to battle to stop from being disbarred. A small error is that a $1000 fee and a $100 fee adds up to $1100, not $1010. I think the author, with a little bit more review could have eliminated these plot holes.

All that being said, I enjoyed the story.

I liked it. Small detail, Danny's admission for the attack would have nuked his West Point admission immediately.

You write very well so keep writing!

Nice, twisty burn the bastard story.

Wow! I really liked this story right up to the end when the cheating wife is allowed back into the fold! It’s a 3 from me for that weak ending.

"Danny would be responsible for his parent's divorce" - Oh, so her affair had nothing to do with it?

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"that neither she nor Coach Cain would be in that day." - Why can't she be in school? Once the paramedics arrive, she has no obligation to Randy.

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"My son has a good relationship with Randy." - I think that's shading things a bit.

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"I can't think of anyone that would do something so horrible. I don't understand why anyone would attack Randy. He didn't deserve that!" - LOL! No further comment necessary.

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Does the security system connect to the Internet, or does it have it's own clock that can be set manually?

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"Please see Danny. He misses his father." - She should tell Grant that she convinced Danny to not say anything.

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"the plaintiff only has to prove it could have happened." - I don't think that's true. Anything COULD have happened. I believe the standard is the preponderance of the evidence, that is, it's more likely than not that it happened.

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"Something like a baseball bat or maybe an axe handle." - An ax handle, LOL!

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Once they found them guilty, the compensatory damages seem too low.

Good story (5 stars), with one glaring mistake I didn’t see anyone else mention: the verdict rendered was guilty with damages to a “total of $1000 for real and compensatory damages and a total of $100 for punitive damages." But Grant wrote out a check for $1010. Should have been $1100.

While a very good story, it fell down on a couple key plot points. A) story never really tried to explain WHY Cat not only began an affair with the Coach, but especially WHY she did it so openly in front of her 17/18 year old son??!! B) story neglected to address the damage done with relationship with her son, and whether and how she managed to repair it to any degree. C) story at end had Grant’s brother’s brother in law trying to start up with Cat. Where did THAT come from? And why? Never explained.

++++

Otherwise an entertaining story that was well written and paced. 5 ⭐️s

He was way too kind and generous with his cheating, lying and disrepecting wife/ex-wife. Even though she supposedly didn't put up with her lover badmouthing her hustband, her to try and turn their son against the father and try and make him choose who to support regarding her affair was vile and horrific. I get loving someone for 20+ years, but there was very little feelings of betrayal by the MC. In my opinion, she deserved much more pain than she received.

Fun story

I don't know why you decided to have Cat and that guy hook up. Ruined for me. I agree that the ex really would not say no to his friend but I would tell him they are not welcome at my home so enjoy life without me.

The civil suit ruling was a bit outlandish. We all know it would have never ended that way. I get wanting the good guys to win, but my brain just can't turn itself off like that. The defense wasn't the flex you think it was.

Other than that, I liked it. Creative story.

She was fired. Why was she coming home from school and sulking? 1000+100 is not 1010. Fantasy jury award but it’s your fantasy and story. Overall 5*. Thanks for the story. Loved the beating and black hoodies.

A fine read but the age old question still remains unanswered: if she loved her husband so much that the prospect of divorce made her intensely ill both physically and mentally, why did she cheat on him? Once again the level of emotional distress is not commensurate with the casual betrayal she visited upon him.

Still, I loved all the twists and turns and the court case was pure comedy gold but on the debit side the union of Bobby Lee and Cat at the end was a calamitous own goal.

JR

Not feeling the ending at all. 4-stars

Now that was a really fun tale. A little bit fanciful, a little bit of emotion (could always have more angst), and certainly witty. Nice work.

The story started exceptionally well.

However, after about halftime, it became very labored, seemed contrived and unrealistic.

A shorter, simpler ending with less violence would have made the story significantly better.

You are a great writer, use your power and don’t waste it trying to reach a maximum pickaxe rating.

10 Big Blazing stars for the writer on this fun fantasy story. I always ALWAYS hate divorces and breakups since I have been thru so many myself. I get so sad, but this story had a "happy ending" with such low awards from the trial. LOL It worked out and Even tho the cheating wife cheated her hubby had a "fallback" the son got his payback in spades, and the cheating wife even got herself another man. Happy Ending! Buster2U

Would have been 5*, giving the ex-wife and bobby lee “permission” was a kill shot to the story. She did not deserve to get off the hook

When the judge said "Is there any reason for me to pole the jury?" I had visions of him sticking his rigid dick into every member of the jury.

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I believe the word you really meant was "poll"

~

Good story, five from me, thanks.

5 stars from me. Enjoyed it despite the HUGE hole in the story with one of her family members living in the house right across the street and sure to have noticed the Coach staying there overnight so often.

No matter how insanely lustful Cat was for her lover the Coach - no way she allows that unless she was totally expecting a divorce and just didn't care. But you wrote she did care.

Also a nit but check your math. 1000 plus 100 is 1100, not 1010.

Very original story. Congratulations. Even if it alternates between good and bad.

It was really good the idea of a family grouped together, united and supportive of each other, and Betty Lou's description was great.

A strong, independent woman, loyal and fierce for her own.

On the other hand, there was the character of Cat, who after 20 years of being a good person and a good wife, finds herself completely stupid and delusional, even abusing her son.

He was super strong, that slutty Martian ray.

Anything legal was ... fantasy. The jury foreman getting to decide whether someone should "pole" the jury. The burden of proof in civil proceedings is that the defendant could have done it? Several defendants take the stand and say they did the deed they are being sued over? The wife got to keep the house, all for herself? A lawsuit alleging a conspiracy with no proof of anything other than motive actually gets to trial? A lawyer stupid enough to take a case that was a sure loser-on a contingency fee basis?

From a legal standpoint this is one of the worst stories I've seen, even on LW.

Sorry, I just call bullshit on the cross examination. If Rollie is smarter than the average. So, here he would have asked how Danny had done it. You know, details. And his goose is cooked. He might not have gotten the money from the jury unsympathetic to him, but Danny goes to prison for a long time. Or the family pays Cain money to drop charges when the police recharge him— if he is able to do so., so he gets the help he needs to eke out a living, hard as it is. In my opinion, that is justice—the kid and family get their extra-judicial form of “wild justice” yet pay (in their different ways) for exercising it and Coach pays and has a miserable life but with compensation for the harm done to him …

Really enjoyed the story til the end. Letting Cat back in the family through Bobby Lee lost you stars and an outstanding story. Don't need to burn Cat but this ending is a solid HELL NO.

The term isn’t „pole“ the jury, but rather „poll“

Great story but the timeline of the championship game playing and Grant returning stateside is flawed. They would have had the rally within a week of the game, maybe as early as that Monday. On Saturday in Korea they still hadn’t started the IG inspection. The inspection would last 2-3 days, then the report out. Allow a few days for change of command and Grant would need at least a couple weeks to get back. Another discrepancy was the trial where Grant was sued, but somehow you morphed it to multiple people. Other than those gaps, great work interleaving several plot lines to a conclusion. 4.2*

A really good story, it seems most stories with the military involved are pretty darn good for some reason. This flowed nicely and was also fairly predictable as to who beat up the coach as he was rather despicable. I didn't pick up on the multiple confessions in court but should of as it was obvious the jury knew what kind of guy the coach was after all the testimony. I figured they would award him a dollar for damages so I missed that by a little bit. The story was entertaining and that's what it's all about and you can't beat the price. I'm a guy and all men are assho;es just some worse tha other but coach was way above the most of us so he got more than he deserved. 5 stars

Totally Wrong Legal Standard

The "setting the record straight" suggests the author has some legal training. If so, he should go back to school. He describes the legal burden of proof in a civil case as "possible". This is completely wrong. The standard is "probable", as in "more probable than not".

Do they allow hoodies on the Orient Express? Asking for a friend.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

All's well that ends well!

5

Fucking Cunt. Threw it all away simply for some strange dick. LOOSER.

Great story - well done and please write more!

Nice work, made me smile in some places, as you said not a true BTB by any means but a good get even.

Well done!

I wanted to give this a 5 but Bobby Lee dating Cat was hard to stomach. BTB stuff is unrealistic, but Bobby Lee betrayed Grant. He awarded Cat for her disgusting affair, one that humiliated Grant.

But I still gave it 5 stars

Like all the other commenters, I would have given this 5 stars but Bobby Lee with Cat. This was a 5 star story. Heartfelt, heartbreaking, humorous, but damn that tiny part at the end lolllz

Can we get an alt. ending? Cat doesnt have to be burned but what she did was horrible--she did it in front of her son for god's sake--and Bobby Lee would betray Grant like that? Our boy Grant doesn't deserve that.

Damn you for writing such a great story!

Good story. Well-written. Having served overseas with the Navy while the country was at war, I disdain those who prey on the wives of servicemen on deployment. Coach got exactly what he deserved. He is lucky he wasn't slowly killed by the colonel's troops or made to pick up IED's with his fingertips.

Ed

A great story that hit all of the right buttons. Cheating wife, loyal but capable husband, beaten adversary and justice delivered. Well written, well paced and a welcome addition to the genre. Thank you for writing and posting this.

Good writing; shit conclusion. Why would he sign on to seeing his cheating ex at every family get-together for the rest of his life?

Author should have had the soon to be ex-husband point out the disrespect of having sex in their marital bed. To further drive the knife in, he should have also pointed out that the last person she had sex with was her affair partner and not her supposed loving husband. She will have those memories to fall back on in the future.that would have hurt her even more deeply.

What Wvrjjr said! I agree 100%! Giving permission for Bobby Lee to be with Cat killed the story. She should've been burned! 3*