All Comments on 'The Kiss'

A great story with potential. Make it readable.

You started in the past tense, and shifted into the present.

The story would be better if (1) there was some tension, or a twist - you have her going off to get fucked, and she does, and then she leaves - a bit more plot would improve the rating, and (2) if you told it completely in the past tense, with a bit more backstory

Lots of good words; often poorly used...or overused. But the story is intriguing, nevertheless.