by Skallagrigg
Lots of good words; often poorly used...or overused. But the story is intriguing, nevertheless.
You started in the past tense, and shifted into the present.
The story would be better if (1) there was some tension, or a twist - you have her going off to get fucked, and she does, and then she leaves - a bit more plot would improve the rating, and (2) if you told it completely in the past tense, with a bit more backstory