All Comments on 'The Legend of Great Falls Ch. 01'

by TimWLy

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IdleAltruismIdleAltruismalmost 15 years ago
Needs a lot of work

The story is hard to read from the beginning. It's choppy, and the beginning descriptions are awkward. A good storyteller weaves description into the story, not start the story off by describing the character in every detail.

As a side note, I did get a chuckle out of 5,8" 225 lbs.

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