The Leinyere Farmer's Daughter

Not for the first time, he wondered about what Glladin had done before deciding to leave his home in Eikclav. Anocots were generally a relaxed race, but their soldiers were well known for their ferocity in battle. They relied on their speed and dexterity to hit their enemy, then race away to regroup. He vaguely remembered a story about a well-armed Orc army trying to push their way into Anocot territory and the venture not ending well for the Orc Queen. Her army was shredded one night by a small team of Anocot infiltrators and the Queen sent home in her landau on her throne, a spear through her chest propping her up. That was an emphatic statement to the rest of Leinyere. Don't mess with the Anocots.

He glanced over at Gll, who was happily purring a tune. He'd never seen him lose his temper, and didn't want to.

Glladin was impressed with the machine. The smaller autolandaus that he had seen around the Port were noisy, smokey and required someone to regularly shovel fuel into the boiler. Naturally, the rich beings who could afford such a luxury had someone to do the hard work for them. They just sat in the machine and enjoyed being watched. The Landford quietly rolled over the road, and he was sure most farmers would have no problem learning how to drive and maintain the machine.

Roksur flicked open the sight tube to the firebox. "You know, I'm pretty pleased with myself, managing to keep it up for this long."

Gll nodded. "I'm impressed too. Humans aren't known for their staying power."

Roksur lightly punched Gll in the shoulder. "Yeah, yeah. I'm talking about the fireball, not what you're implying."

"The fire was what I was thinking about. You're not as good as Elves with elemental magic. That's my story and I'm staying with it." He pushed the drive lever forward as far as it would go. "Keep a close watch on your little ball. Let's see how fast we can go."

The Landford slowly accelerated over the hard-packed gravel. Roksur anxiously looked at his fireball and relaxed when it stopped flickering and settled back to a steady glow. He opened the side window and leaned on the sill. 'This is definitely the future,' he thought.

They drove in silence, listening to the machine do its work. A few creaks as the body flexed, a dull roar of the steam engine, and the crunch of gravel under the solid rubber tyres.

Roksur yawned and stretched. "Do you want me to take over? I'm falling asleep over here."

"No, it's fine. I'm having fun. Besides, we're not that far from the village. You can take it out in the morning."

Gll eased off and slowly rolled the machine into the village. Initially, they didn't draw much attention, but as they stopped in front of the inn a large group of beings surrounded them. Roksur waved and pulled the whistle.

"Ah, bog. That's not very impressive," he said to Gll as a muffled blurt fell out of the whistle. "Well, let's talk to our prospective customers."

They climbed out of the auto and quickly scanned the excited crowd, identifying the beings who looked like they were more than just spectators. Gll looked around at the children climbing onto the bed of the Landford, an idea forming.

"Is it ok if I take the moppets for a quick drive around the village?" he asked. Getting a nod from the parents, he went back to the machine.

"Ok cotlils, so would you like to ride around the village? I thought so. Now, you need to sit down and put your fingers in your ears as the whistle will be very loud."

He picked up some of the smaller children and made sure they were seated before whipping the cloth out from the whistle. Roksur looked on anxiously, not sure how far his magical influence would reach.

"Gll. Keep it close."

Gll nodded. "All aboard!" With a loud blast of the whistle, the Landford moved off.

"And one option we are looking at is a version with seats. Just imagine, quietly driving between villages or even to the Port without wondering where you are going to stable horses, or worrying about the horse bog tax," touted Roksur.

The villagers laughed, and the more serious beings resumed discussions. The others watched the machine crawl around the roads, the children screaming with excitement. Gll drove back to the inn and helped his passengers off.

"Steam is still good," he muttered to Roksur. "Which one of these do I take out?"

"Glladin, could you please show Master Angstin how easy the Landford is to drive?" Roksur asked loudly, waving his hand at a well-dressed man.

"Certainly. Master, if you care to step this way?"

Later, they discussed the sun over last meal. "There was some serious interest, particularly with a people carrier version," Roksur said, rolling his ale around the mug.

"Yeah. Angstin was asking me all sorts of sensible questions. I asked if there was a Mage who could flick a message back to the Port. There's not, so I'll send a message in the post tomorrow. Tangford will be pleased with the leads. Shame we couldn't get a contract signed."

"True, but we'll stop on the way back and see if anyone's ready to sign." Roksur pushed his plate away and sighed contentedly. "Roast pork. I love having some silver."

Glladin drained his mug and waved to the barmaid for a refill. "I can get used to this. Decent food, good mead. Nice. Just need a couple of girls and the night would be complete."

"That would be good. A bit of silver always attracts women. Gold attracts a higher class of women. I'd even pay for a night with a skilled satin cock-sleeve, rather than an old linen one. I've heard good things about the new pleasure house down by the docks. I might have a look when we get back."

"That's all right for you. Human whores are everywhere. Do you know how much even a cotton Anocot asks for..." Gll quickly looked around the inn and dropped his voice. "Umm, a good time? Four times what the human would ask for! And they know they can get it. Your species has this thing for fur and are happy to pay. I don't know what's the attraction. I'm not attracted to the hairless."

Roksur laughed. After a couple of meads, Gll invariably drifted to the topic of sex, and his lack of it. "You're just so soft and cuddly with all that fur. Just like hugging a woolly sheep."

"Don't compare us to those mobile snack boxes!" Gll hissed. "I... oh, doesn't matter. I'll just have to wait 'till I get back home, I guess. There's a couple of cute longhairs at the university that I could ask to go hunting goats in the hills behind Eikclav, or maybe some fishing in Cir Eik. They normally don't do anything exciting and a bit of hunting gets the blood racing." He finished his mug and slowly stood. "Guess we'd better get some sleep. I want to get going early so we can get to Systava Crossing before it's dark."

Roksur finished his ale and pushed himself away from the table. "Umm. Ok. I'll see you in the morning. I'd better check the firebox to make sure the fireball's out."

Gll snorted. "Fireball. Right. I noticed you looking at the barmaid all night. I also thought it strange her blouse seemed to get lower as the night went on, and she spent an extraordinary amount of time bending over to top up your ale. Nice tits?"

Roksur started to protest his innocence, but Glladin cut him off with a wave. "Go. Have some fun. Catch something nasty."

Roksur watched his friend weave his way towards the rooms out the back. Gll was taller and more solid than most humans, but alcohol hit him harder than it would on a human. He wondered if all Anocots had the same low tolerance to drink. He shrugged and headed to the bar.

"So, are there any special places around here you would like to show me?" he asked the barmaid.

"Well, there is one spot that could do with a good inspection. Have another ale and I'll finish up," the barmaid saucily replied. "Then let's see how good your magic is."

=====

A large crowd surrounded the Landford the following morning. Word had spread about the elemental-powered landau and beings had come from gallops around to see the machine. Gll and Roksur spent nearly an hour talking to potential customers before Gll had to announce they needed to leave, but promised they would send word through the post of when they would return.

Roksur muttered his incantation and rolled the new fireball into the firebox. Curious beings watched his elemental creation, a couple with basic fire mage skills commenting how they could finally see a good use for their talents. This made Roksur grin. That was exactly the response the Fire Mage Master had hoped to foster.

After a few minutes, he checked the steam pressure. "And that, my friends, is how long it takes for the Landford to be ready for a sun's work. Much less than required to hitch a team to a landau. Thanks for your hospitality, and we will see you again shortly."

With a loud blast of the whistle, Roksur headed to the outskirts of the village. A trail of moppets ran after them, waving and laughing at the departing curiosity.

Gll gave another long blast of the whistle and waved goodbye. He settled back in his seat and rubbed his hands. "Definitely a good stop. Angstin is serious about buying a Landford with no cargo tray. He wants to build his own passenger compartment, and he wants to meet Master Tangford. I'm sure he'd be very happy to travel out here for a chat when he gets our message."

Roksur nodded. "Yep. He'll also be happy not dealing with the coachbuilder guild. Rogues." He rolled his shoulders and leaned back. "It is nice to drive on the open road, isn't it?

"The wheel is a good idea. Tillers look to be too hard to use. It's not a sailboat."

The machine rolled west, attracting attention and scaring horses. They occasionally stopped to stretch their legs or chat to beings that waved them down. People were more curious than interested in a purchase, but Master Tangford had emphasised that getting beings to talk about the Landford was nearly as important as an actual sale.

"I'm glad we work for Tangford. He's got a different way of looking at sales," Gll said over their midsun meal.

"It's different to others in the Guild, but he gets results," admitted Roksur. "And more importantly, repeat customers."

"True. And he pays well. Doing this for a wage plus a smaller commission is fine by me. And I guess the other benefits were fine for you too?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Roksur replied, grinning. He drained his mug of lemon sugar water and stood.

"You, well, she wasn't exactly quiet. I'm sure the whole village knew what was going on." Glladin climbed into the driver's seat and moved the auto off. "Need a way to secure this when we're not around. Too easy to steal. So, how did she rate?"

"Definitely a silk. Right up there with the best. Best of all, she didn't ask for a scrap."

"Really? You Ratten. That settles it. After this trip, we're heading south to Rrmwite or Eikclav. I need to get my own piece of action. "

They kept rolling west with the occasional stop to talk to beings or for Roksur to intensify his fireball.

"She sucked me dry after I filled her."

"Herrkfts..." Gll spat back. "Thanks for telling me. I didn't need that image. You humans..."

"Just thought you'd like to know."

"No, I didn't. Oh, for Aersus's sake! We're losing pressure. You're supposed to keep watch on your thing."

Roksur flipped open the view tube. His creation was flickering and had dimmed to an orange glow. "How far to Systava Crossing?" he asked anxiously.

"Not sure. Probably about ten gallops. Why?"

"It's going out. Better stop and I'll reform it. I thought I felt something odd, but I wasn't sure what it was."

Glladin hissed under his breath and pulled off the road. "Fine. Fix it. I'm looking forward to some fresh fish tonight."

"Ok, ok. It won't be a problem." Roksur opened the firebox and removed the remains of his fireball. It had shrunk from the size of his fist to the size of a pea and sputtered as if it was desperately trying to stay alight. He focused his mind on the ball and muttered the incantations that Master Landrov had taught him. The ball looked like it was trying to inhale, but with a last, forlorn effort, it disappeared with a loud pop.

"No no no... Come on, relight." Roksur took a deep breath and focused on recreating the fireball. A haze shimmered in his hand but refused to take form. "Get up get up get up. Come on little fire, get up!"

Nothing happened. Gll flicked his tail impatiently as Roksur desperately tried to work his magic. "I can't get it up." he finally admitted.

"What do you mean, you can't get it up? You're a fire elemental. Boiling this kettle should be easy. You've got us this far. Why now?"

"I... I don't know what's wrong. I've never had an ED problem before. Maybe we can get some coal from that farmer over there to get it going. A little bit of incentive may be all I need..."

"Yeah, well. I hope so. On the bright side, we could possibly sell him a nice ornament for his front yard. Elemental dysfunction... Now I know why no one else has done this. You go and talk to him. I'll sit here and admire the view."

Roksur moped off towards the farmhouse. "Shouldn't happen. Wasn't what the Master said would happen. Odd. Felt wrong. Felt weird, like it was being snatched away."

Gll climbed back into the driver's seat and watched him go. He had to admit, it wasn't a bad place to break down. The Plentyful Plains was a pleasant area of rolling hills covered with dense timber and interspersed with prosperous farmlands. It was a major source of food for the larger towns on its borders. Gll didn't particularly care about its vegetables, but the fish from the Mourn River was what he wanted to try. He leaned back in the seat and yawned, then looked at the sun dropping to the horizon. 'Hmm. About an hour 'till sunset. Still time to get to the inn. I need a drink.'

His ears twitched as he heard the faint tinkle of harness brass and a snort from a horse. Roksur was animatedly talking to a man leading two horses towards him. The farmer was nodding and pointing at posts that seemed to be spaced evenly across the front of the farm. Gll hadn't noticed them before but in the approaching darkness, a pale green glow was starting to appear at the top of each.

"Hey, whoa horses. Calm down, boys! What's wrong with... Oh. I see. Good aftersun, Master Anocot."

Gll had climbed out of the cabin and the breeze had wafted his scent towards the animals. "Sorry, Sir. I'd forgotten that most horses outside of towns don't like us. They seem to think we're sizing them up for a meal. I'm Glladin."

"No no no, yes that's true. But this pair are cantankerous beasts at the best of times. Could I please impose on you to go to my house? My daughter, Elliando, would be happy to offer you a drink."

Gll looked at Roksur, who nodded. "Farmer Andoewof has kindly offered to haul the Landford to his barn for the night. I'll meet you at the house and explain what happened."

"Ok then. Thanks, Farmer Andoewof. I would love a drink." Gll glared at the misbehaving pair and quickly ran away from them in a wide arc towards the house where a young woman was standing, watching the visitors. He introduced himself to her, with a low bow.

"Oh, please just call me Ellia. No one calls me Elliando unless I'm in trouble," the girl said, giggling.

"Oh, so quite often then?" asked Gll, which made Ellia blush and giggle even more.

"Maybe. But anyway, can I offer you a drink Master Glladin? We have water, lemon sugar water, fresh or fermented milk, ale, or anciris cider."

"Gll is fine, Ellia. I don't know anciris. What is it? A fruit?"

Ellia pointed to a grove of trees in the fading light. "Yes, they originally came from the northeast. Not very common around here, but they are amazingly sweet with a bit of sharpness. They brew well. Our family has won awards for many years with it."

"Well, thank you. I would love to try a sample and I'm sure my friend would like to try it as well." Gll watched Ellia enter her house then turned his attention to the Landford. He chuckled as Andoewof tried to control his beasts. They were still a pair of unhappy horses, for some reason. Finally, the machine was dragged into the barn and the two men headed back towards the house.

"Dragon mice. That's why they're misbehaving. They can smell the smoke off the dragon mice." Ellia said, passing him a large tankard.

Gll accepted the drink and had a sip. "Hmm. This is very good. I usually don't like cider. Too sweet." He took a large swallow. "Dragon mice? Really? Are they the same as fire mice? How many?"

"No no no, yes, plagues of them, Glladin, plagues. I was explaining to your friend why your contraption probably stopped. See those poles?" Andoewof said as he accepted a tankard from his daughter. He pointed to the green-tipped posts that Gll could now clearly see in the darkness. "I paid a pretty piece of gold to the Farm Wizard to conjure up the protection spell on those poles."

"Umm, I don't understand. Why do you need a protection spell?"

"No no no, well yes. I guess you know the mice are mildly magical? That they just smoulder by themselves, but when they swarm together they become a rolling ball of elemental flame. Terrible for the crops."

"Really? Didn't know that," said Gll, taking another draught.

"No no no no, yes yes. The spell on the posts dampens all elemental fire and they scatter. And that's probably what stopped your machine. It will be fine in the morning. The spell only works just before dusk and just after dawn when the pests are busy. The horrible creatures still make a mess of my crops though."

"Well, I just know they're tasty. They have a really nice smoky crunch. Would you mind if I go hunting tonight?"

The farmer looked dubiously at him. "Yes yes yes, well I don't know. I'd be happy to have someone help get rid of them, but Sinsear treats them like his own children. Eating them is not a good idea."

The thought made Glladin laugh out loud. "That dragon has bigger things to do than worry about a few rodents. Doesn't he mostly look after the Mer-folk?"

"No... maybe. It's just something we've been told for years." The farmer shrugged. "Well, I suppose you can if you want. But if that dragon flies in, you can explain why you're eating his moppets."

Gll smiled and rubbed his hands together in glee. "Thank you. It's not the same as a big hunt through the mountains, but they're a fun little distraction. And if Sinsear arrives, I'll take full responsibility for my actions."

"No no no, yes that's fine then, and I would like to offer you a couple of beds for the night. The inns will be full as our Farmer's Market is on tomorrow. I have some beds in the barn for workers. It's a bit far from the Crossing for them to travel every sun. Plus, I'd like to have a close look at your contraption. Without any of my competitors around."

Roksur swirled his cider, a thoughtful look on his face. "Sounds like we arrived at a good time. Can we set up a stall? It would be nice to have beings come to us instead of driving around the countryside chasing potential clients."

"No no no yes, you'll need to talk to the market chief. I'm sure she'll be happy to find you a spot."

"You'd better head to the Crossing soon. Zenoria usually has an early night before the market." Ellia added.

"Yes yes yes, no you're right Ellia. We can get some last meal at the inn. Master Glladin, I assume you're staying here? And Ellia? What about you?"

Gll confirmed he was staying at the farm. Ellia glanced at him, then out over the farm. "I think I'll stay. I can show Gll where the mice are causing the most problems."

"Good good good well, that's fine. If you're ok riding, let's saddle those donkeys and head off."

Roksur took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. "Sure. I haven't ridden for a while, but I'll be right. We normally use a landau for our work." A thought crossed his mind. "Is it just you two who live here? It looks a big farm for just two people to manage."