All Comments on 'The Librarian Ch. 01'

Another brilliant story ... can't wait for the rest.

Thanks!

Not really any sex but, interesting character development. I look forward to seeing where the story goes.

You were right, Michele, this one is hot and dark. You had me at full fashion nylons! Again we see your sexy and twisted talent at work. Can't wait to read the next chapter.

Always a fan,

Santacruzman

Thought i'd read the previous, but apparently i haven't

Added to "To Do" list

The handy brigade won’t like it because there’s nothing for them to get there teeth into but it’s a proper story and didn’t need anything to titillate the interest. You’ve built the characters nicely, finishing it well, which will lead nicely into the next chapter. You have not been explicit with anything, leaving it up to the reader, and the man’s revulsion comes across clearly as disliking intensely something he doesn’t understand.

Now the bad. I don’t think there was one instance when you needed to use a semi-colon. You need to look up the difference between dependent and independent clauses as far as speech is concerned. Some grammar problems and sentences rewritten to make more sense and read better. Did any of those spoil the story? Not one bit. I look forward to reading the next instalment.