The life choice

"What do you what for your twenty first birthday?" I asked Louise.

We were having supper, nothing radical. She had given me a birthday present the day before, for my eighteenth birthday. A box of one hundred condoms with a a card that read: You're legal now, stay safe. Louise, the queen of inappropriate gifts, is my sister.

My parents had thought it hilarious. Pat's parents less so. Patricia was now my ex girlfriend, her church going parents less than happy at such a display with their sixteen year old daughter. Surprisingly I was not all that upset she had sent the breakup text that morning. She and I had only had a fondness for classical music in common. I liked Chopin, she liked Rachmaninoff, I loved sonatas and nocturnes, she loved symphony and heavy opera. She had been my first girlfriend, classical pianists don't get many, on the other hand pretty flutists have to beat guys off with someone else's flute. I had recognized that we were heading for a breakup. Mostly because intermittently functioning her virgin alarm friends weren't helping, and they were telling her parents.

The question was more a fishing trip of the direction to not go in and exact revenge. Just because Pat was not going to be missed didn't mean Louise should think I appreciated that she broke us up more effectively than a folk musician turning to metal would break a band up. She was going to pay.

"You, in a leather outfit serving me champagne before I give you an education with Elton John playing in the background." she replied.

My mom laughed. I stared at her wide eyes staring back at me. The unspoken message was that she knew my secrets. If I pissed her off she would spill the beans. I had no desire to have to explain to my parents why I had a special browser for BDSM on my computer.

Louise was studying information security at college, full scholarship sponsored by a web hosting company because she had hacked their system and told them how to fix it. She was graduating in a few months and walking into a massively well paying job immediately after that.

She had found out about the stuff on my computer because she still enjoyed hacking and had left a message across my desktop to tell me she had hacked my computer. She had already got trouble for that and not spilled the beans because she understood about saving up trouble.

I was going into motion picture production after school. I had composed a piece for a low budget documentary made by a movie producer and the music had been the most notable part of the production. An A list actor had been impressed, found me, put me through a few paces on set that he was acting on and paid my college for three years because I had been right when he asked me what the director was going to do.

"Will you be tied up?" I asked.

"No, I will be tying you up."

"Not interested." I said dismissively.

It was week later when we spoke again. She came home late while our parents were out and into my room. She said nothing, just flopped down on my bed beside me.

"Rob broke up with me." she said.

I had no idea who Rob was. She had not had boyfriends at college as far as I knew. With her talent to embarrass I was not surprised she had not had boyfriends and not surprised that Rob would break up before she brought him to meet the family.

I reached out and hugged her to me. I might think she was a bitch but she was my sister. She cried onto my chest a little while I stroked her hair and whispered consoling noises. Soon she started telling me who Rob was, the CEO of the software company she was going to work for. He had strung her along over the last few weeks and suddenly decided to stick with his wife. He had also canceled the job although he said the company would not want it's money back.

"Gary? Did you let that actor screw you for the tuition?" She asked suddenly.

"No. He's straight. I saved him money though, his wife tried get me to sleep with her so I told him. He paid the tuition to say thanks."

"Rob said I should put out if I want to get somewhere in the business."

"Start your own then."

"Doing what? I can't afford the kind of hardware security needs!"

"We'll think of something."

She was quiet for a few more minutes.

"Why is all that BDSM stuff on your computer?"

"I'm writing a soundtrack, same producer from the documentary. He's making one about that now, he didn't think about how legal it was for me but this time he's paying. It's all bullshit, I found the interviews when I checked copyright for music in the background. He just used CGI to make it look like he was interviewing people. Maybe blackmail him?" I suggested.

Louise laughed a little.

"No, just tell him to take a hike."

"Already told the director of the movie set I was in anyway."

I wrapped us up in a throw my mom insisted should be on my bed. We warmed up and went to sleep. I woke up with a start a few hours later. I lay staring at the dark for a few minutes and realized somebody had switched the light off. Probably Louise when she went to her room.

A soft bump on my side and a feminine arm falling across my chest really woke me up. Louise moved closer to me and wrapped a leg around my hips. I stared fixedly into the dark as she sniffed me in her sleep and kissed my neck with a happy little sniffle. She was a bad idea to wake up, I had learned that before through episodes of thrown shoes and teddy bears. At these close quarters with her knee; it was definitely a bad idea to wake her up.

So I lay in the dark thinking. The director I had contacted had been furious about the copied and edited material being passed off as original and had explained that he would win a court case if the music score was original and played throughout the documentary. So I was the original part of his documentary and he was producing it at less than one percent of what even a moderate music video budget was.

I had told him that I could probably produce a better documentary and he had laughed. We had ended the conversation with him telling me to get in touch if I needed a camera or lighting or sound recording equipment. I thought about how to make a better documentary, first was a face... Louise was going to be at a loose end.

Second was a specific subject, I had seen enough of the interviews to have a fair idea of what seldom got covered because none of the interviews had covered it. I thought about research, and an angle to use. And then I I got an erection when Louise moved and I got a breast in the the palm of my hand.

I was shocked more about how good it felt to have a breast in my hand than that the breast belonged to my sister. I couldn't help it, I moved my fingers and suddenly her nipple was under my forefinger. I moved the tip of my finger in a circle and she moaned. I moved my thumb and pinched lightly and she moaned again and turned her body. She was at a better angle now and with my eyes used to the dark I could see her nipple. I bent my head and kissed it then put my lips over it and sucked.

"Oh God yes!" From her brought me to my senses.

I stopped instantly and lay back again holding her in the realization that I had nearly screwed my sister. If she woke up angry now I was dead. She tended to shout if she was upset and use any information in her brain to make the other person look as bad as possible. I had an entire browser history of looking bad.

I moved her tee shirt to cover her breasts again and lay still. I tried thinking with the raging erection and the effort tired me so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again Louise had gone away. I was mildly disappointed, it had felt fantastic to be sleeping with someone despite the bed being a little small for that.

Mom Smiled broadly when I came down for breakfast. Louise was stirring her cornflakes listlessly. Dad was reading a paper on Acetic acid infection on CD ROMS, and analog graphic electronic storage mechanisms.

"So do we get the two of you a bed?" Mom asked.

"What?" I asked.

"You know the Pharaohs were famous for sibling marriages." Dad added.

He had a historic precedent for everything. He was curator of the local museum, a historian by qualification. He had found tons of fascinating stories about the town and made exhibits around them. They were fascinating the first time; not so much seeing them daily.

"Oh God! I can't deal with this!" Louise said and fled to college.

"I hope you're satisfied. She was told she won't have a job when she graduates yesterday. The CEO tried to have an affair with her but she wasn't enough of a slut." I said to both parents.

"Shit!"

"She came to me to cry. So don't even think anything bad happened or joke about it."

"We'll need to get her something to do..." Mom said.

Dad was a curator of a minor museum and that didn't earn much. Mom was an archeologist and that consumed a spectacular amount of money. It meant we were always near broke. Making a plan like taking a loan to get her a suitable computer was not on. Making a plan like a job in the museum leading school tours was an insult.

"I'm making one. I'll sort it out." I said.

"Don't you dare cash your Berkley tuition in!" Dad said.

"No I won't do that, I can't anyway. I need the day off school though."

Two weeks later I had a plan ready. When Louise broke the news officially I floated my plan. I wanted to make a documentary for extra credit at Berkley. And I wanted Louise to help. I would put the documentary on a streaming channel and Louise could use the income while I could present it at Berkley for the lecturers to look at and get credit for doing something. I had a contact prepared to lend me a camera, sound recording equipment and lights for free, simply because he was intrigued to see what I could do.

Dad was overjoyed at the idea and suggest documentary subjects from the museum. Mom knew about a dig near Clovis that threatened to be older. Louise looked at me with suspicion as I shook my head to every idea.

"The documentary will be about marital authority and disciple in lifestyle BDSM relationships. Louise will do the interviews and I will handle the recording. She will handle the release and keeping it from being pirated. I will edit and do post production. I have found eight couples willing to be interviewed but they are mostly far away." I said.

All three sat and stared at me in surprise.

"Its a rising trend in the BDSM community, it is seldom documented, in many ways it resembles marriages from the Renaissance although not always as patriarchal."I presented the academic argument.

"It's a very controversial subject." Dad said.

"It will sell though. I'm worried about the two of you traveling all over the country with thousands of dollars of equipment and; very strange people to speak to." Mom countered and added in one breath.

Louise stared at me with pure venom. She had said nothing about Rob and I had neatly removed the need to explain the BDSM content on my computer. If she said anything now it was going to go badly for her.

She smiled at our parents sweetly and spoke about it being a growth experience. She threw her weight into an argument for an RV; that way we would not need to sleep in strangers' houses and subject ourselves to unusual sexual practices. We would then have a vehicle to use for holidays or mom to go on digs with after the documentary was made.

Louise swung it, when school ended three weeks later I had a small but good camera, a crash course in how to work it, a crash course in sound recording, a crash course in lighting, all thanks to You Tube videos. Mom had found a RV and dad had managed to swing a contact at the police for an old Ford Bronco they had stopped using for disaster management patrols.

Personally I thought the SUV looked like a mini mobile dungeon with the grate just behind the front seats, no back seats, a dog kennel, racks along the side for equipment and one surviving label that read Suspension Harness. The blue lights were off but the mounting rack was still there and it had spotlights now. The police badge was still slightly visible under a fast and cheap repaint.

I had also made a mini documentary as a lead to the main one with Louise getting practice in makeup as she spoke about a documentary diary about our road trip. She promised a few scenic places and interesting stories to come. I did the editing and she floated it on a streaming platform.

Amazingly we didn't need the gas money mom and dad insisted we have. We had to take it though because not taking it would have meant explaining the other documentaries. I had read the comments most of which were encouraging, a few were demolishing on my technique and on the delivery style Louise used. A few were rude, a few just sick. A common theme was a suggestion for Louise to show more leg and more cleavage.

She got into the passenger seat and blatantly opened a beer after promising our parents to be back for her twenty first and to stay sober. I responded by putting Pachelbel on the stereo. I drove us to the next town and stopped at a fetish store. It was time for out first fight.

"Why did you stop here?" she asked.

"Do buy costumes."

"Why?"

"Because we are going into another world, we need to fit in to get good responses."

I opened the door and the staff watch us bickering over the outfits.

"I'll look like a porn nurse in this thing! Forget it."

"They want to see legs and cleavage. This shows it best."

"Yeah? Well then you wear it."

"There is a demand for that too."

"Oh jeez! I'll look good. If they want to see my breasts they can fucking watch till the end and then answer questions like do you have ten thousand dollars for a picture."

"Open an Only fans then, ten thousand people will each pay you a dollar."

"I'm not a whore you little shit."

"How about this then?"

"Fuck me! That's expensive!"

"It's worth it, you're not wearing it once to a bachelor party. You'll need two of them."

We finally settled on three outfits, two of each. Then I started shopping for submissive male wear.

"Fuck, you're worse than a girl! You're supposed to be the submissive? I'll just order you to strip naked."

"We're not touring the Great Group Sex Settler Route!"

"Yeah? Well I say the best submissives look like normal guys; just like you!"

"You're not a dominatrix! You're just looking like one. How the fuck would you know?"

Louise picked up a whip and cracked it.

"I can whip your ass you little shit! That, That, and That!" She pointed to three outfits.

I picked two of each. It was not worth getting whipped about. Louise was entirely capable.

"Oh, and this whip please. It seems to work." She said to the cashier sweetly.

The total bill was more than a thousand dollars. Louise was sweet and spoke to the manager. We got everything at a forty percent discount for making a spot in front of his store about what we were doing with Louise dressed in costume. That spot nearly broke our account despite the speed with which we did it; we only needed two takes.

I decided to screw Louise around by shouting cut halfway through the first take. She didn't sound as if she was happy about having shopped at the store I said. She glared at me and then I reset. She smiled excitedly as she gave the address of the store and what a wonderful staff they had to supply us for the adventure we were on.

"Gary and I, oh wait! Gary get here!" She reached beyond the camera and pulled me to stand next to her.

"Oh, are you nervous?" She asked.

She didn't wait for an answer she just grabbed my ears and pulled my face down into her cleavage. She held my head there and stroked my hair gently. Embarrassingly I got an erection remembering the night we slept together. Her scent and the new leather of her school mistress outfit combined to have me squirming.

"Poor thing, he's not comfortable in front of the camera. Prefers to be on the other side." She said to the Camera and finished with. "Hands off my ass."

"My hands aren't on your ass." I mumbled into her chest.

"Oh, Why Not? Back then you slow little peeping tom!" She ordered and pushed me out of shot.

The manager loved that version and had us post it. We received two thousand views in an hour, in three we were making a profit from the number of views and getting more views on other spots I had made. When we stopped for the night I had a private email from the director lending me his camera and equipment. He congratulated me on a nice little piece with a fixed camera. He also liked my acting, he said, going into little details like me trying to hide a erection. He liked Louise too, she had brought the scene off really well.

Louise for her part got a kick out of reading the comments. She hadn't paid much attention before, now she was reading from other dominants, and other submissives who wanted to be me. She read a few out laughing at comments about how I had acted. She could see that I did not like them but this was her revenge.

"Lou, I can easily go home. The little spots I've done already show the professors at Berkley that I know something. I don't even need that because The course goes from basics. You need me."

"Fuck you! I didn't ask you to help me!"

"Cut it Lou. Cut your shit. You're hot and that is all you are. You're hot to guys sitting in front of a computer screen jerking off to a fantasy of who you are. Don't post for a month and they won't even remember you. On the other hand, I'm here despite your crap. And you're full of it."

"Oh bullshit! You loved that."

"No Louise, I am making a documentary looking into something none of the pornography goes into and the insanity of what is written is ridiculous. I am not making a BDSM road trip porno. Not one that tells the whole fucking world I have a thing for my sister. You humiliated me, you humiliated yourself. You pissed on the very idea of helping you and keeping your reputation. Read those comments again Louise. What are they saying? Beat the guy at the grand canyon, Make him eat you out while you're eating at a diner. Make a film of you getting off on another guy and I have to pay him. You turned yourself into an only fans dominatrix when you said you refused to do that. I'm not going to allow that with kit I borrowed for you. Find some other dumb shit and get your own gear if that is how you want to go. I'll take the ford and the gear back in the morning. You can take the RV and fuck your life up; the best inappropriate gift you could hope to give. I'm going to bed, you can go and find a pimp for all I care."

Louise sat in silent shock. I went to bed, a kid's bunk bed. By parental decree neither of us used the main bed because it would be unfair to the other. I was fairly sure Louise would ignore the decree but that was her issue and I really didn't care. I was not going on this road trip being insulted and humiliated all the way by somebody I was helping.

I woke up with Louise poking me with her finger. It wasn't really sleeping anyway, the bunk was way too narrow and half the time I felt as if I was going to fall out of it. I looked outside, it was still pitch dark. I turned around to see Louise in her nighties. I got an erection seeing her nipples make two little bumps in the smooth swell of her breasts and the sheer fabric falling with an echo of the bumps. I wasn't buying though.

"NO."

"I haven't even said anything yet." Louise replied.

"Whatever it is I'm not interested because its coming from you."

"So you don't want to share the bed? These bunks are horrible."

"I'll only be uncomfortable tonight."

"I'll give you a blow job." she said sweetly.

"No. You'll bite instead."

"You're really hurt huh?"

"Piss off Lou."

She knew my tones. She was impulsively viscous when angry. I needed time to warm up but then I was a fucking nightmare. She knew that because she had seen me beat a senior quarter back up when I was a freshman in high school. He had laughed at me playing piano for hours at a time and delighted in teasing me until I had had enough. His football buddies had bailed him out when they realized he was losing badly and I got the shit kicked out of me but the jocks never tried me again either.