The Long & Winding Road

"What are you talking about? Aren't the washer and dryer running?"

"Yes, but you need some new clothes."

"Maybe it's because I just woke up but I don't understand."

"You picked the last two stops on our trip so I'm picking the next one."

"And where would that be?"

"Palo Duro Canyon State Park. It's halfway between Dallas and Denver. But you're going to need different clothes so we're going shopping at a camping store in Dallas. They must have one."

It turned out there was an REI store in Dallas. I'd never heard of that company but then not many people needed a store like that in D.C. In that store I was the novice and Tracy was the expert. As we walked through the store, she picked out clothes and boots designed for hiking. She also gave me an education about sleeping bags, liners, pads and tents. Setting up a tent can be difficult for a beginner so Tracy suggested getting a two-person tent that pops up automatically and is easy to pack up. Lastly, she picked up some snacks we could eat while we were roughing it. Until she was sure I was serious about outdoor life, Tracy said she'd try to keep the costs down but if I liked it as much as she did, we'd be shopping again. She stressed that living outdoors involves a lot more than sleeping on the ground.

Back at the apartment we decided to check out the people at the dog park. They were friendly but for the most part people I couldn't relate to, young professionals with tastes in music and celebrities that were foreign to me but it did raise a question in my mind.

"Tracy, are you a cat person or a dog person?"

"Definitely a dog person but my lifestyle doesn't have room for one."

"Same here. Big dog or small dog?"

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm not the kind of person that would have a teacup dog. I'd want one that I could share my love of the outdoors with. What about you?"

"I never had any pets but I think I'd like a dog, something with a mellow personality, maybe a golden retriever."

"I could see that."

"It's almost dinner time. Any ideas about what type of food you'd like?"

"Well, we've had barbecue in Louisville, a little bit of southern food in Memphis and Cajun food in New Orleans. How about Tex-Mex in Dallas?"

After checking out our choices online we decided on a restaurant called El Vecino and we were not disappointed. The food was good and the drinks were excellent although I'm not sure Tracy was ready for the effect of her two margaritas. She had very little experience with alcohol. This time it was my turn to put her to bed.

While she slept, I tried to think of some of the things that might help when she woke with an inevitable hangover. I made a short trip to a nearby store and picked up some aspirin, some bread and some honey. I had a feeling Tracy might need all of them. All I'd have to do is toast the bread. I also took two wash cloths from the linen closet and put them in the freezer. Placing them over her eyes might help too.

I sat at the kitchen table and cut off the tags on my new clothes. Everything would be ready for our trip the next day assuming, of course, that Tracy was in any condition to go. With all of that done, I very carefully crawled into bed and waited for what was coming.

"Would somebody stop that noise in my head?"

"Morning, Tracy."

"Not so loud. What was in those drinks last night?"

"I'm guessing you're feeling the effects of the tequila."

"Remind me not to order anything with tequila again."

"I bought some things that might help. We'll start with two aspirins and a little water. When you feel up to it come to the kitchen and I'll make you some toast and honey. You need to eat something but most of all you need rest. Would you like to postpone or cancel our trip to the canyon?"

"Absolutely not but it's a good thing our trip won't start too early. I think I'd have to crawl to the truck."

"I'll stick to the highways and try to avoid any bumps. Maybe you'll be able to close your eyes and sleep."

"I'd appreciate that. Now about those aspirin..."

"Coming right up."

I brought the aspirin and water along with one of the washcloths I had in the freezer.

"Place this cloth on your eyes. It should help with your hangover but be warned, it's very cold. When it gets warm, I'll replace it with another."

"Thanks, doc. Where did you learn all this?"

"Like everyone else,... the internet."

The trip to the canyon would take almost six hours of nonstop driving so I wasn't confident we'd be able to make it today. I felt that we should drive to Amarillo and get a good start the next day but I wasn't going to upset Tracy with those thoughts. She'll have to come to the same conclusion on her own. In the meantime, I planned to make reservations in Amarillo that I could cancel if I had to. It was about 2:00 p.m. that Tracy started to feel almost normal again although guilty.

"I ruined today, didn't I?"

"We're not on a schedule, remember?"

"But we're only booked here until 4 p.m."

"How does staying tonight in Amarillo sound?"

"That would be perfect. It's not far from the park."

"Then pack up your stuff and let's go."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

Tracy hugged me and gave me a quick kiss before helping me to clean up. One thing I made sure to pack was the bottle of aspirin although I doubted that I'd need it again.

We arrived in Amarillo at around 10 p.m. I made a few stops along the way to make sure Tracy always had something to eat and drink while her hangover disappeared.

That night I started to have serious thoughts about the girl lying next to me. As she held my arms around her shoulders while I spooned her, it was impossible not to.

I woke up before Tracy and used a lot of cold water in the shower trying to get a grip on my hormones. The sound of the shower must have woken her because I could hear her call my name. Stepping out of the bathroom with a towel around my waist, I could hear her more clearly.

"Chris, why are you up so early?"

I wasn't ready to tell her the real reason. "Just wanted to get an early start to this park that has you so pumped-up."

"Well, while I enjoy this soft bed a little longer, why don't you use your tablet to pull up the trail map for Palo Duro Canyon State Park."

The map had trails for hikers, bikes, and horses along with descriptions of each trail including its difficulty. Also marked were parking areas, campsites, showers, Wi-Fi access points and places of interest.

"Tracy, I've heard of something called glamping. Do you know what that is?"

She started laughing. "That's what people do when they go camping but don't really want to rough it. They check into a campsite that has buildings complete with just about everything they have at home... air conditioners, refrigerators, microwaves, private showers and more. Glamping is short for glamorous camping."

"How long will our stay at the park be?"

"A day and a night. We're lucky it's April. You don't want to be in the canyon during a Texas summer. The heat is brutal."

"When do you want to start?"

"What time is it?"

"7:30"

"That's something we're going to have to work on. I'm not a morning person and if you are, I'm going to have to do something to convince you that it's not important to get out of bed before 8:00 at the earliest."

I smiled at the thought. "I can live with that."

"Okay, it looks like I'm not going to get back to sleep so why don't you get dressed while I take a quick shower?"

As I put some clothes on, I heard Tracy scream. I'd forgotten to reset the temperature controls on the shower. Poking her head out of the bathroom she yelled, "You should have warned me. Do you always take cold showers?"

"To be truthful, only recently."

She just shook her head and closed the bathroom door."

When she emerged from the bathroom, she was wearing a ball cap, T-shirt, leggings, white socks and her hiking boots, a very athletic look.

"Chris, the park stretches for about thirty miles. I don't expect you to walk that distance. We'll drive through the park and leave the car when we find trails we're interested exploring. The one thing we'll need for this trip is water so we'll need to pick up some, along with a Styrofoam cooler and some ice. We've already bought some energy bars to take along. Any questions?"

"Only one. Why this park?"

"It has breathtaking views that are second only to those of the Grand Canyon, but don't tell that to a Texan. They'd probably rank it number one."

We stopped at a local supermarket and picked up the ice, water and cooler before driving to the park. It was only a thirty-minute drive. As I slowly drove through the park, I could see what Tracy was talking about. At some points it was an eight-hundred-foot drop to the canyon floor. I was happy that the map on my tablet listed information about the trails. I was in no shape for anything difficult, I've never ridden a horse in my life and the last time I rode a bike was over twenty years ago so I wasn't going to risk injury renting one. While walking on one of the trails I asked Tracy where we'd set up the tent for the night.

"We could set up our tent in one of the campgrounds but I'd rather just enjoy this moment alone with you."

"Any place special?"

"There's a short trail called Pioneer Nature Trail. It's near a place you can park and one of the camp areas so we can use the facilities if we have to."

"Won't it be too dark to walk the trail at night?"

"I've got a good flashlight with fresh batteries in my backpack."

As the sun started to set, we made our way over to the Pioneer Nature Trail. The trail seemed deserted as families retreated to their tents, cabins or RVs. Tracy led the way as I carried our tent and our sleeping bags. She was right, the tent was easy to set up but when I started to place the sleeping bags inside it, Tracy stopped me.

"Set them down on the ground. You can move them to the tent later. Right now, I want you to enjoy Nature's light show. Lie down on your bag and look up."

It was an eye-opening experience. With no tall buildings and very few clouds to block the view, it seemed that the sky had a million stars. In D.C. all I could see clearly was the moon. I reached over and held Tracy's hand as a shooting star passed overhead. I remembered from my childhood what I was supposed to do, make a wish.

The temperature dropped to about forty degrees Fahrenheit that night but it wasn't the cool weather or the possibility there might be animals nearby that filled my thoughts. They were focused on two things, the girl lying next to me and the fact that our journey together might be shorter than I wanted it to be.

Morning came before I knew it. I smiled as I looked at the woman sleeping next to me wondering what I had done to deserve this moment. When she finally woke and started stretching, she turned to me. "Why are you staring at me?"

"I can't help it."

"Stop it. You're making me feel self-conscious, like my hair might be all messy or I have something stuck between my teeth."

"The good news is that it's after 8:00 a.m."

"What time did you wake up?"

"Early enough to see the sun rise."

"Well, thanks for letting me sleep. Let's pack up and get back to the truck. Suddenly I'm very hungry."

As we walked to the truck, I felt I needed to say what was on my mind.

"This trip to the park made three things clear to me. One, I don't want to live in a big city anymore and two, I want to be close to an area as awesome as this."

"You said there were three things."

"The third is that I don't want you to leave me."

"Don't joke about something like that."

"Tracy McGowan, will you marry me?"

"You're crazy, you know that? Definitely certifiable. We've known each other less than a week. I can't deny I have feelings for you but we barely know each other. There are so many things we've never discussed that could make our marriage a disaster and neither of us has ever even used the "L" word."

"The "L" word?"

"Don't be a smartass, you know what I'm talking about."

"Let's start with those topics we've never discussed. What are you worried about?"

"How do you feel about having children?"

"I'd be happy with just you in my life but if you want children, I'll love them as much as I love you."

"What about religion?"

"From what I can guess from your last name, you're either Irish or Scottish."

"My grandparents were Scottish."

"And Ramsey might be either English or Scottish but my ancestors were also Scottish. So, I'm guessing we're both Protestant."

"Politics."

"I consider myself tolerant of others' rights but I'm neither Democrat nor Republican. I vote for the person not the party. Anything else?"

Tracy struggled to find another and soon brought up the topic of sex. "When I marry, I need to know that sex won't be an issue. You don't know me. You've led a sheltered life and I haven't. I'm not sure you could deal with what I've done and what I still want to do. Hell, we haven't even seen each other naked."

"Many people marry as virgins and although I'm not one, I've admitted to having problems. If that disqualifies me then say so. I didn't love those other women."

Tracy started pacing back and forth. At least she was thinking about it and didn't reject the thought of marriage immediately. She threw up her hands.

"Chris, this is crazy, you know that, right? But if you're serious there's only one way to find out if we belong together, agreed?"

"Agreed."

"We'll start slow. Tonight, we'll just sleep together naked and see how we feel about it. If we continue, each day we'll progress a little more. Don't think of this as an audition. Think of this as a dress rehearsal for our wedding night. One way or the other, when I'm sure, you'll have my answer."

The words "our wedding night" gave me hope. One thing was certain. I'd remember this trip for the rest of my life no matter how it ended.

I'd originally planned the next stop to be Denver but like I told Tracey, big cities no longer appealed to me so I switched our reservation. The trip from the park to Colorado Springs took about seven hours and despite our last conversation, during that drive Tracy acted as she had every other day.

"Chris, when we get to Colorado Springs I need to go shopping again but this time, alone. You can drop me at a store and pick me up a half hour later. If we're going to do this, we're going to do it right. I need to get something to wear that makes me feel sexy."

"Okay but how are you going to pay for the clothes?"

"I guess it's confession time. I remember telling you I had it better than most homeless people and that I never had to sell my body but I didn't give you any details. When I was born, my father set up a trust fund for me to use for college when I turned eighteen. It wasn't a gigantic amount of money, it was $25,000. Before I left home, I put that money into a checking account and got a bank debit card. Like most runaways I lived on the streets while I tried to figure out what to do. I guess I could have gotten a job at a fast-food place and a cheap place to live but I found that I liked my new freedom. I just started walking out of town and I've never stopped. That army-style jacket you've seen me wear actually holds two secrets. I sewed a pocket into the inside of each sleeve. One pocket holds a little cash and the other holds my checkbook and debit card. Backpacks get stolen but I wore the jacket all the time. After about six years on the road, I still have about $16,000 in my account but if anyone else had known that I had all that money, I'm sure I'd be dead by now."

I handed Tracy my phone and told her how to unlock it. As we were driving, I told her to use the internet to find a store where she could get what she wanted. We'd stop there before driving to the hotel. Soon I watched as Tracy entered an address into the truck's GPS.

"Find a Victoria's Secret?"

"Colorado Springs actually has three but I chose a different store. I wanted something a little edgier so we're going to a store called Fascinations."

While she was shopping, I had another purchase in mind. A half hour later she loaded a few bags into the truck.

"Get what you wanted?"

"I think you'll be happy but I didn't find everything I want. We need to take another trip to Macy's"

"Macy's?"

"Just wait in the truck when we get there. It won't take long. I need something special for my feet."

I had no clue what she was talking about but I didn't ask any questions. I did hand her a little box though.

"What's this?"

"It's a pay-by-the-minute phone loaded with a thousand minutes. I want you to be able to contact me if you need me. It's ready to use and I already entered my contact information."

She gave me a big hug and then said, "Now get us to Macy's."

When Tracy came out of Macy's she was carrying a much larger bag than before. I couldn't imagine what was in it. She just put it on the back seat with the rest of her purchases and I drove to the hotel.

I wondered what the desk clerk was thinking when she saw Tracy carrying a bag from Fascinations. I'm sure she knew what they sold since she kept smiling at Tracy as she checked us in.

Neither of us was in the mood for another restaurant so, after unpacking my bag, I phoned room service. While we waited for the food we cleaned up after our trip to the park.

"I can't wait to see what's in the bags."

"You might be surprised with the outfits I bought."

"How many did you buy?"

"Let's just say I bought enough to keep you interested,"

"I thought tonight was just about sleep."

"It is, but a girl can have a little fun, can't she?"

"And when exactly does this fun start?"

"Midnight sounds right. Let's watch some TV together until then."

As many times as I had watched the clock on my desk in D.C., it doesn't come close to the number of times that night I checked my watch. At about 11:55 Tracy got up from the couch we'd been sitting on and walked to the bathroom with her bag.

"I guess I should get ready. Why don't you get undressed and wait for me under the bed covers. I won't be long."

I followed her instructions. It was five minutes later that I heard the bathroom door open and a vision in pink walked out. She was wearing a sheer pink robe that was only held closed by a pink satin ribbon tied in a bow around her waist. The robe was open in an hourglass shape so I could see she was also wearing a pink g-string but no bra.

"Well Chris, lift up the covers so I can see if I bought the right outfit for tonight."

Keeping my eyes on her I raised the covers. I didn't have to look down to know the reaction she was having on me.

"I said we'd be naked tonight so watch me as I remove the robe."

I didn't know if I could control myself as she untied the bow and let the robe fall to the floor.

"I did say naked, didn't I?"

With that, she slid the g-string off, made a slow 360 degree turn and stretched her hands out wide.

"Is this what you want?"

"Look at me. Can't you tell?"

"Then invite me to your bed."

I held out my hand and she took it, sliding effortlessly into a spot next to me.

"Tracy, if this is your way of trying to change my mind, you failed miserably."

"I'm not trying to change your mind. I just want you to know the woman you're getting if I do marry you. Now hold me. I want to feel your body next to mine as we fall asleep."

It had taken thirty-two years but I finally woke up with a naked woman in my bed, and not just any naked woman, the woman I had asked to marry me. When I started this trip, I could never have imagined this.

"Mmmm, Good morning, Chris. Did you sleep as well as I did?"

"I don't know how well you slept but I wouldn't object to doing that again."

"Last night was just day one, tiger. Wait until you see what's planned for day two. By the way, where are we headed today?"