The Long & Winding Road

"I'm trying to imagine you in a park ranger outfit with a gun strapped to your hip."

"Gun?"

"Yeah, rangers carry guns and can do everything a regular police officer can do."

"I thought the job was just watching for fires and maybe helping hikers, not making arrests and definitely not carrying a gun."

"Maybe we can find something closer to what you really want."

We rented an apartment in Klamath Falls while all the paperwork for the sale was completed and the repairs necessary to prepare the cabin for cold weather were made. While we waited, Tracy got her driver's license and has been hinting about a second truck. While we're at it we might pick up a snowmobile or two.

I still do accounting work but I set my own hours so there's no clock to watch. To make ends meet I work as a consultant for some of the hotels in Klamath Falls and do tax returns for the locals. And Tracy did find her dream job. She works for a non-profit organization called The Friends of Crater Lake National Park which assists park rangers in maintaining the park and helping visitors.

Over the next month, mom and I talked about once a week. Not one for small talk, my mom always came right to the point. It was no surprise that our first call was about Tracy.

"Christian, what do you know about the woman you're going to marry?"

"As much as I need to know. We've talked many times about what a life together would be like.

"I mean her background."

"I know she was born in San Francisco and decided to travel across the United States before she settled down."

"Anything else?"

I simply replied, "I never asked" which was actually true. Tracy had volunteered all her information.

"You weren't curious?"

"To tell you the truth mom, I'm more interested in our future than her past."

Over the course of the next few calls, I got the impression that while mom was happy that I was finally getting married, she was less thrilled that I was marrying a woman she'd never met. Adding to her sadness was the fact I made it clear her dream of a big wedding wasn't going to happen. The sort of wedding she had in mind would take at least a year to arrange. Now, I love my mom but there was no way I was going to wait that long.

A small local wedding would be easier, but as the saying goes, the devil is in the details. It needed to be held when both my parents were available. Selecting the date would have been easier if only my dad worked since his busy days were predictable but my mom worked too. In the beginning, it was just part-time from home using her real estate and travel agent licenses but now she runs her own company called "Home and Away."

Coupled with that problem was the unexpected difficulty in finding a place to have the ceremony. It took some effort to coordinate everything but, barring any unforeseen problems, the event would take place on August 25th in a town less than an hour from the airport in Portland, Oregon so my parents could catch a flight back home without any trouble.

My parents landed in Portland the day before. Armed with the knowledge of what my mom thought about my upcoming marriage, I asked Tracy to let me do all the talking. Unfortunately, as prepared as I was, I had still underestimated my mom's determination to end my engagement. After getting a big hug from my mother in the terminal, the circus came to town early, in other words, all hope for a peaceful first impression ended quickly.

"Mom, how was the flight?"

"Okay, I guess."

"Mom, this is Tracy."

"Trudy, It's strange but, until recently, my son has never spoken of you."

"Mom, her name is Tracy."

Ignoring my comment, she continued. "Things are so different now. In my time a girl was introduced to the boy's family before wedding plans were made. Were you afraid we'd disapprove of you?"

Even though my mom was facing Tracy, I couldn't stay quiet. "Tracy is a hell of a lot better than those women you tried to set me up with."

With a disapproving face, my mom replied, "Christian, I'm sure the girl can speak for herself." Then, turning her attention back to Tracy she asked, "Will your parents be joining us later? I can't wait to meet them."

I wanted to be wrong about my mom but her intentions were now very clear. It wasn't just her words but the expression on her face and the tone of her voice that confirmed my suspicions. If her plan was to convince Tracy's parents to help "talk some sense into us" she'd be disappointed to know they weren't attending the wedding but that wouldn't stop her. Hearing that, she might even increase her efforts, so I again intervened.

"Mom, you've had a long flight. Let's get you and dad to the hotel and we can discuss everything over dinner."

I could tell my mom wasn't happy with my answer but she stopped asking questions. My dad just shook his head. He'd been listening to her rants for months. As we approached my truck in the airport parking area my dad asked, "What happened to the Civic?"

"I traded it in for this. It's much more practical for driving in the mountains and frankly I love it."

My mom could see the expression in dad's eyes. "Don't even think about it, Henry."

Tracy and I sat in the front seats while my mom and dad sat in the back. As I drove, Tracy held my right hand and I could feel her anger as she squeezed tightly. We had definitely gotten off to a bad start.

While checking in, I made dinner reservations at the hotel restaurant for the four of us. Tracy still hadn't said a word but I knew I'd hear a lot when we were alone. Once we were inside our hotel room, Tracy turned to face me but before she could say a word, I did.

"I'll handle it."

"If she wasn't your mother..."

"I get it, but you're not marrying her tomorrow, you're marrying me. If she can't accept that then we'll have two pairs of estranged parents. I'm not losing you over this."

Tracy seemed to soften after hearing those words. "I wanted her to like me."

"If she makes an effort, she will. Normally I'd say to just relax and have a drink to calm down but I remember the last time you had alcohol."

"Don't remind me."

The hotel restaurant was relatively empty when we arrived for dinner and we were able to get a table where our discussion would be less public. After we were all seated, it was necessary to say something. I didn't want a repeat of the scene at the airport.

In a calm voice, barely above a whisper I started the conversation. "Mom, at the airport, I barely recognized the loving person who raised me. Now, we'll be happy to answer all your questions, but it's important you understand that Tracy and I ARE getting married tomorrow. We'd like you to be there to support us but either way it's going to happen."

"You've changed a lot since you left."

"I grew up. Until the day I left, all I wanted was a quiet life but when that changed and I wanted more, so did I."

"I know you don't socialize much, or at least you didn't. Did the two of you meet at work?"

I glanced over at Tracy as I answered, "I met this amazing woman in West Virginia while I was just starting to figure out my life. She was arguing with a guy who was having trouble accepting the word "no" if you understand my meaning. After watching him drive off without her, I offered her a lift and we've been together ever since, traveling across the country while staying in separate rooms at the beginning and the same room when our relationship changed."

She hadn't asked about sleeping arrangements but I needed her to realize I was a grown man and not her shy little boy anymore.

"You've known each other less than six months. I dated your dad for two years before we got married."

"Not everyone needs two years to be sure they're deeply in love"

"Christian, be honest. In your whole life, have you ever been in love before?"

"No."

"Then how can you be so sure that what you're feeling is love?"

"Because I can't imagine a life without her."

Turning to Tracy, my mom asked, "And what do your parents think about this? Are they against your marriage? Is that why they're not here with us now?"

I started to answer but Tracy put her hand on my arm to tell me that she'd handle this. Staring straight at my mother she answered, "I wouldn't know what they'd think about this. I haven't spoken to them in over six years."

My mother seemed tongue-tied after hearing that. It was a while before she could speak again.

"I'll ask you the same question I asked my son. After knowing him for such a short time, are you really sure about this?"

"When he proposed, I told him he was crazy. I had feelings for him but had the same concerns you do now, that we barely knew each other, so I asked him to convince me that it wouldn't be a mistake. And, before you say something we'll both regret, it was more than just about sex. We discussed politics, religion, having children, and even the type of community we'd like to live in. It took much less time to convince me than I thought it would but I've come to love Chris with all my heart."

Looking back at me, my mom continued, "And, is there a reason that the ceremony isn't going to be held in a church?"

"We originally planned a church wedding but ran into too many problems. Most couldn't give us a date we wanted and two required that we first become members of their church. We finally decided that, for us, the solution was to have the ceremony in a small cottage in Salem, Oregon that offers same day weddings for couples who aren't interested in a large wedding but want something more intimate than city hall. Even then, the only time available for the day we wanted was 6 p.m."

Tracy then surprised both my mom and me with her next words. "While it won't be the big wedding I know you wanted, I'd really appreciate it if you'd help me plan a party in Maryland around Christmas for the friends and family you would have invited."

It was something Tracy and I had never discussed but it was absolutely the right thing to say. Those words seemed to drain all the fight from my mom's body because there were no more questions. From that point on, we were just four people having a friendly meal together. Perhaps there was another reason but personally, I think it was because my mom now knew she wasn't going to be pushed aside by the new woman in my life.

At the ceremony, Tracy was dressed all in white but not a traditional wedding gown. She wore a pair of white linen pants and a high neck ruffled blouse with long sleeves and white buttons down the front. In contrast, I was dressed in a black shirt and black pants accented by a gray vest and tie. I barely remember the ceremony and had to be reminded to say "I do" as I stared at Tracy.

As I drove my parents back to the airport for their late flight home, I could hear Tracy and my mom already planning our Christmas visit and our parting was very different from our first meeting. My dad shook my hand and kissed Tracy's cheek while my mom hugged both of us, saying to me, "Don't be a stranger, and keep your phone charged."

"Mom, text me when you get home safely, only don't get upset if I don't text you right back."

I could see my dad still smiling as they left to catch their flight.

About twenty minutes later, we arrived at a house on the Clackamas River that we rented for our honeymoon. It was a quiet romantic getaway where we wouldn't have to worry about our neighbors if we got too loud. This wasn't our house so I didn't carry Tracy over the threshold, that would happen when we got home, but after dropping our luggage inside the main entryway I passionately kissed my new bride.

"Well, Mrs. Ramsey, are you ready to spend our first night together as husband and wife?"

"More than you can imagine."

Tracy walked over to her bag, unzipped it and took out a small box about six inches long on each side. As she handed it to me, she said "It may not be customary but I have a wedding gift for you."

Holding the box, I could only remark, "I'm embarrassed. I have nothing to give you in return."

Without a word, she then walked to the middle of the living room and kicked off her shoes. Fixing her eyes on mine, she started to remove her pants. "Don't just stand there, open the box." I fumbled with the wrapping, watching as she unbuttoned her blouse from the bottom to the top, finally revealing that the only thing she wore underneath her wedding outfit was a velvet collar inscribed with the words "Bad Girl."

The box held another surprise. It contained four leather cuffs with rings attached and four lengths of silk cord. With a wicked smile, Tracy walked closer and spoke in a very sexy voice, "Think of anything to give me yet?"

As memories of her fantasies filled my head, I once again slipped into the character of that southern warden.

"Maggie, looks like ya need a reminder who's in charge here. Seems ya forgot that as long as you're in my custody, I own your sweet body."

As I fastened the cuffs around her wrists, I continued, "If I don't do somethin' now, the other girls will all think they can defy me. Ya see my problem, don't ya? I can't allow that to happen so I'm gonna have to make an example of ya."

Once those cuffs were secure, I led Tracy to the bedroom. The cuffs for her ankles and silk cord would be attached soon enough.

"Now, I'm gonna tie ya, hand-and-foot, to the bed in your cell and ya best not resist or I'll have to call the guards in to help me. I know for a fact some of those women would really enjoy that, especially if I offered to let them help with the rest of your punishment. Ya see, once you've been trussed up good and proper, you're gonna be edged for as long as it takes to make ya say, loud and clear enough for the other girls to hear, that you'll do anythin', and I mean anythin' I ask. And sugar, that's when the fun really starts 'cause I intend to hold ya to every bit of that promise. Now, bein' a strong-willed woman and all, later on, ya might reconsider and think about testin' my authority again, but mark my words Maggie, if need be, I'm prepared to repeat this as often as necessary."

Tracy uttered just one word, "Promise?"

It's a good thing there was no neighbors close enough to hear how loud Tracy begged for sexual release as I edged her and screamed each time she got it.

It was almost 1 p.m. before either of us woke up after that night of wild sex, not that surprising since we didn't get to sleep until 4 a.m. While it didn't technically count as morning wood, as I cuddled next to my new wife, I couldn't believe that after everything we'd done, my body still was ready for more. Having never experienced anything like this before, I worried that sex with Tracy was a drug I'd have to learn to control. And, even though bondage sex was a fantasy we shared, I couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to apologize for what I'd done to her.

"Tracy, about last night..."

"Damn that was good."

"You're not upset that maybe I went too far?"

"I'm exhausted and sore from the pounding you gave me but we're definitely doing that again. I lost count of the number of times you made me come. The way you acted, somebody would think I was the first woman you've been with after spending twenty years behind bars."

"Seeing you tied up like that, I thought of all the things I always wanted to do but never did. It's hard to explain but the warden could do things that the accountant wouldn't. Does that make any sense?"

"It just means we'll have to do more role play if we're going to get everything we really want. The warden and guards will satisfy some of my sexual fantasies but there are others where I'm a willing participant. You already know that I get excited at the thought of masturbating while someone watches, but I've never shared my wildest fantasy."

"Wilder than what we just did?"

"I'll let you decide for yourself but you need to know a few things before I tell you what it is. When I talk about my dad I mean my real dad not my stepdad. In my fantasy he and mom never divorced and I'm still living at home at the age of twenty-one. Also, in our house, my parents' bedroom was next to mine and the walls weren't exactly soundproof."

"Got it."

My fantasy starts when I hear my dad cry out my name while my parents are having sex and I don't hear my mom getting upset. In fact, soon after, I hear her do the same thing. It's obvious what they're doing, they're enacting fantasies they both have about me. What they don't know is that it's a forbidden desire all three of us share. Lying in bed, all I can think about is how to make it happen. From that day on, I'm a little more affectionate and I dress a little more provocatively around them. Seducing both of them is easy. A word here, a touch there, I know what they want, what we all want, so after some private sessions with each of them, one night I just walk naked into their bedroom. At first, they're startled but that reaction changes when I crawl between them and kiss each one full on the lips. What follows is a night of love and lust and an invitation to join one or both of them in bed whenever I want."

"That is wild but, at this point, I don't think anything you said would surprise me. You're a very sexual person. And if you want me to be your daddy every once in a while, I can do that."

"Oh God. Chris, we need to talk about something else. Thinking about it is getting me wet and I don't have the energy to do anything about it."

"Maybe after a little more sleep you will."

The house is quiet as Tracy and I hold each other and drift back to sleep. That will change when we wake again. There are still two days before we have to return home.