The Long Highway Pt. 37

from Akemi's diary

Hiroko translated

Mitchell told me about a conversation he overheard between Nelson and someone else. I think he wanted to make clear Nelson is interested in a lot of women in case I get infatuated with him and think he wants only me in an "exclusive arrangement."

Nelson was visiting the college during his stay here and talking to a student from Denmark, attractive, statuesque, blond- "very Scandinavian," according to Mitchell- studying bio-engineering, wanting to do her part to reverse climate change. She is also passionate about photography as a hobby and interested in Nelson as a film-maker.

As their talk in the brightly lit white corridor- it's almost shiny- wound up, Nelson asked about her plans.

She was heading to a class, probably, while Nelson had time on his hands, was stalled there by his interest in her and probably mistook hers for something other than it was.

Mitchell always tells me Nelson thinks highly of himself. Why then, does he stay his friend?

He respects him as an artist, Mitchell says.

So do I.

Nelson was Mitchell's teacher in college, remember.

Mitchell said, by the way, that the Nordic twenty year old was "more mature than a comparable American woman her age" (he said nothing about Japanese, conceding he doesn't know! And how does he about that student either? Wasn't he just guessing?) According to Mitchell, she with her straight ash blond hair (I envy on the basis of his description) showed genuine enthusiasm for Nelson's work at the start of the hallway conversation but it lessened gradually as he drew out their talk, delaying her. He might have guessed she had somewhere to be but he didn't care. This is Mitchell's opinion.

In the end she only responded to Nelson out of politeness. "Polite to a fault," Mitchell described her. Nelson may think highly of himself, but the same could be said of Mitchell's attitude toward Europeans. He feels inferior as an American, I think.

"Nelson can be pretty obnoxious, bullying. I think you know," Mitchell said to me.

The student had begun answering Nelson's question, briefly telling her plan for the rest of the morning, busy one at the college. Nelson interrupted. At least according to Mitchell (I can imagine it, though).

"Not today, I mean, but for the next few months." He had thoughts of them getting together later.

"I could have sworn he did," Mitchell said. "Even though he'd met her less than five minutes ago." Nelson had asked Mitchell to introduce the student and Mitchell had in passing. Nelson's behavior embarrassed him. "It reflects badly on me when a friend starts, you know, putting the make on someone."

"He thinks he's god's gift to women," Mitchell said.

There's a reason for that. I know.

Mitchell laughed scornfully as he spoke of his old friend. I can see he has mixed feelings, likes Nelson if he doesn't intrude on his territory.

Is that how Mitchell sees me, as his territory?

The woman from Denmark, pressed further by Nelson, mentioned she was going back to her country to attend a photography festival there.

"In Silkeborg." She named the town.

"I think I've heard about it," Nelson said. "Big one." The photo convention, he meant. "When is that again?"

She hadn't said.

"End of summer," she answered now. "September, I think. I'm not sure."

She was being deliberately vague, Mitchell thought, anticipating Nelson's overture.

"And here it came."

"How about if I go too?" He didn't say he would with her but it was implied. He's nothing if not bold. Some women respond. I admit I do.

Silkeborg is a medium-sized city on the Danish Jutland peninsula. I looked it up.

The student replied after a moment's hesitation, thought, and this time spoke with certainty, "The thing is, I'll be there with my boyfriend." She gave a smile asking for understanding, not offering an apology as Nelson might have wanted or even expected.

Scandinavian women are strong. So are Japanese.

She continued, "I'm involved with someone now, so it would be inappropriate if you and I went together."

"She nailed him," Mitchell said, looking for the first time gleeful.

But Nelson just shook off the rebuke, considering it a minor setback he might yet overcome, even with ease.

"Yeah?" he said, his eyes still fixed on the Dane's.

"It's good I told you this," she said of her involvement with another guy that left no room for Nelson. Even her physical posture showed her relief at having expressed herself clearly. Mitchell said she shook her arms from the shoulders as if relieved of a burden she hadn't noticed till it was gone. Nelson can affect people like that. He comes on strong. The attractive Danish student was glad to spare herself more polite efforts to indirectly parry his overtures, which were direct to the point of impolite. She felt fairness had been reestablished, she was in a position as strong as Nelson's. He was her senior and a well-known artist and her teacher's friend but she deserved respect too.

"It's good, isn't it?" said a friend of hers nearby who had overheard the exchange. Good Nelson now knew where he stood, was her point. Avoiding miscommunication. That friend was cheerfully encouraging Nelson to accept reality, back off.

Mitchell says he's the kind of person who doesn't. When challenged he pushes harder. Feeling he has something to prove, he becomes very determined.

That may be part of what makes him a great artist.

"I don't know," Nelson said to the Dane and after pausing a moment in his turn to think added with certainty to match hers, "Then I guess I should also tell you something. I'm married."

"So we could say that's inappropriate too, right?" he challenged. His wanting to know her better despite having a wife.

"Not necessarily," she said.

"Really? A boyfriend matters but a marriage doesn't?" Nelson gently mocked, as he had the word "inappropriate" she'd used. He felt he'd caught her in a contradiction and jumped.

Mitchell said it was obvious by now that he couldn't change her mind and that it hardly mattered anymore. What did to Nelson was coming out looking good. He's very proud, cares about face. He's like a Japanese man in that way. Maybe it's another part of the attraction for me, since I live in the U.S. with an American man.

The student shook her head, presented again the glittering smile that had turned impenetrable. I could picture her from Mitchell's description. Nelson's behavior also rang true. I can't deny that.

"It depends on what kind," she said. "A marriage can be open."

She was very Scandinavian, Mitchell said again. Broad-minded.

"Not with her," Nelson said of his wife Leticia.

Mitchell maintained that the student wasn't flirting with Nelson, just confident, unwilling to yield any further than him. Pride pitted against pride.

Maybe they'd look good in bed.

I didn't want to think of that.

Mitchell might have told me about the face-off in case I was thinking of leaving him and taking Leticia's place. Lol. Mitchell went out of his way to paint a picture of Nelson that highlighted all his bad points.

I know his bad points and that they're connected to his good points.

A funny thing is that Nelson's marriage does seem to be an open one. At least that's how he's described it to me. Leticia lets him "have his fill." He said those words about a visit from an old girlfriend. He thought I'd be shocked to learn he and she spent most of the weekend in bed in his trailer, his wife apparently not objecting (and I was surprised).

Of course this doesn't mean Leticia would easily give him up or that I would want her to.

(I really am not sure what she thinks or feels).

Mitchell said Nelson is always on the make. No, that really doesn't bother me. And of course I already knew it.

Mitchell said the West Coast, where Nelson and Leticia live, isn't as wonderful as some there make it out. People lead lives that look healthy but are only superficially. He told me about a couple, friends he visited, who walked around their home shirtless to show off their bodies toned by workouts. Mitchell said the beauty is cosmetic and that California is culturally vacuous. Even Hollywood is just a business, he insists. Original works have no chance. He showed me a photo of those friends, old ones of his, in their kitchen one afternoon during his visit. The man was at the sink, washing or drying the dishes. The couple share the housework, care about keeping balance not only physically but in their marriage and society at large. He did have a nice torso, well-developed muscles. His wife wore a sarong and a bikini top. It's warm in Southern California. Her sarong- wrap-around skirt- and his jeans were nearly the same pale blue, close to violet, which looked faded by sunlight that seemed to pour into the photograph from all sides.

But Nelson and Leticia live north of Californian in the woods, where the spirt of nature at least is strong, Nelson says. I guess Mitchell thinks I have a dream of Nelson and wants to break it. But I think I really know who Nelson is.

And Mitchell continues to complain about problems at his job. I wish I could help, but he's on his own there. I think he sometimes feels alone at the college even though surrounded by students. He has difficulties giving them what they want. He described another incident, in yesterday's class, when he had taken a folder of work for the course from one of the students seated in desks arranged in a "horseshoe" configuration, and on his arrival at the front of the room to address the group he wasn't able to remember whose the folder was, who to give it back to. He said the thing was blue and tattered (like his California friends' clothing?) but contained notes and completed assignments important to the student. He hadn't wanted to admit he didn't know the names of everyone in his class.

Then he backtracked and talked more about the California visit. He and the "beautiful" couple were about to go out somewhere, leave through the sliding glass door of their sun-lit kitchen, and he'd wanted to change his shirt first. The one he was wearing had a sour smell from his sweat. He worried he wouldn't have time to go to his stuff and get a new shirt to put on.

Mitchell seems to always confront problems. Small ones like that weigh on him more than they should, I think. Nelson instead seems to rise above his. Ironically, the less he needs my help the more I feel able to give it to him.

Meanwhile, Mitchell talks about wanting to move to the countryside to live in a natural setting, the way Nelson and Leticia do. But he can't because his job is in the city and he needs it. Sometimes I feel sorry for him. And I think Nelson knows and understands. He makes me feel better.

It isn't as if I dream of living with Nelson the way Mitchell dreams of a life in the countryside that he can't have.

We keep going to look at places, usually when Mitchell feels bad about his job, wants to escape. We drive among trees in search of houses we've seen listed, ones that look nice in pictures and are reasonable (priced low; maybe there's something wrong with them). It feels a little like a treasure hunt.

I don't see Nelson as an escape or a revolution the way I saw Mitchell when we first met. And I like my work, painting, though it doesn't bring an income. My feelings about Nelson are totally unexpected but not a girlish fantasy. I just like getting to know him. Really.