by Rob_mDear
The intro makes me laugh. People on this site are such haters, you have to BEG them to enjoy fiction as fiction.
One criticism: I got confused about who her maker was in the beginning. I thought you said it was her father who made her, but then describing him as alive, I wasn't sure what was going on. Then the ?many-great-uncle? was revealed and I caught it. Sire as in maker, not sire as in father. I would have used the word "maker" to make it a little easier for the reader. Vampire relationships are challenging, I know. I love how Artur was made, not through a bite, but by fratricide, bringing up an older, more wicked tradition, of how the original vampires were made.
I'd love if I could get some intelligent feedback on my stories. They're spread along a lot of categories.
I have to say, out of all the incest stories that I've read on Literotica, that was the most intriguing. The way you wrote out Artûr's 500 year past, made me actually feel deeply sorry for Angela and her dad. Vampires have always turned me on, so I have to give my two-thumbs-up for that. The vast vocabulary of words that you used really helped convey what was going on. Thanks for such an incredible read! :) Please continue to write more, maybe in the vampire genre.
Sincerely
Phillip K.
I liked your story, it was little unusual and I do like vampires.
You could have wrote how the sex began, undressing and foreplay, just jumping on and riding his cock isn't very interesting.
Three stars is not a rejection, it just means it's not the greatest story and could be better.
I like how there's a twist for why things played out the way they do. it was very well written and in the paranormal genre that I love. I would like to see this idea turned into a full length novel. It has the basic storyline. with details about the past and future with some kind of resolution it would be a book I would buy.
Just sos. Seems I've read variants of the story a number of times.