All Comments on 'The Medical Record'

When did they start giving medical degrees to twelve year olds. If in fact you are a real doc, I can see why you don't have your own practice anymore. That story had more holes in it than swiss cheese. What medical doctor would screw his wife if he was thinking of being tested for V D?

If he was so worried about his wife finding out about the test, why not test himself? Duh. Oh, Honeybunch just tell me all about how you fucked some other guy for three years and I'll forgive you right away and lick your asshole just to prove how sorry I am for ever doubting you. The list goes on and on.

If you try what you think is writing again, you should find an editor. Maybe two or three to be safe. Your dialog is weak and it reads like a dictionary, maybe you should seek help there as well.

And for a doctor so worried about ethics, why would you even think about swapping with the shrink that is trying to help you cure your ailing marriage. That I found utterly rediculous, a medical proffessional that was willing to dip his wick in a pussy known to cheat. Remember he didn't know the sister was the real slut.

The wife's response at the end does make me wonder how honest she has been. I will be interested to see how you handle the next story.

Boyd

tell us at the start, or call it Ch 1 or whatever.<BR>

How difficult us that??

Spoiled by the dialogue, it was far to cumbersome and repetative to be real.

Who says this guy can't be a real doctor? The writing is about as exciting as a lab report.

why go to bob and tell him his problems.bob and the wife were to close.the concept of this story is a dumb hubby and a whore of a wife.unless the sister and the wife got the same blood type and the same height the id isn't crap.the acts so smart he's dumb wimp.his b/s about getting the records and then telling everybody but the pope.

For a person to demand proof, indicates a significant lack of trust. The doc claims he trusts his wife but then demands proof to eliminate the questions he has. How is that trust? Furthermore, this story was as boring as watching paint dry...the two men in this story are all talk and no action...in the middle of a swap meet, they start talking? What the hell? I'm suprised that their wives haven't divorced them out of boredom

pitiful. His wife is a wild one, and has been fucking the neighbors for a while. She was at her sis home to short of a time for the sis to have relayed all this information and kept the husband from hearing. There are so many adultersous sluts in the world and someone has to marry them, I am glad he did and I didnt. I am quite sure the documentation on the medical record would have given sufficient information to positiviely ID his wife. The other couple was to comfortable getting into the swinging and all to be first timers, and wife was already in the go position. So much for a loving trusting wife. Why dont you try words like betraying, disrespecting, deceiving, and adulterous. If they were such lovers, how could she have gotten the STD and he not have it, and if so how did he get treated for it, and when? Wife is a pc addict, would imagine sis and her im each other all the time. No they werent "talking" to each other, and definately not emailing. When he eventually gets into her computer records I do imagine he will be surprised at her web pages and other going on. How in god's name did a man so gullible and dumb ever get thru med school? Hey doc get a DNA test on the kids ASAP, Stat.

The plot of the story has some interest to it. The characters leave a lot to be desired. The actions of the wife can only be seen as those of a cheat. She plans things with her friend behind hubby's back. She practically screws Bob while dancing with him just as though they're been doing it for some time while his wife mildly toys with Jon as first timers would do. No this wife can not be trusted ever again! Hubby has a cheating slut on his hands; will he knuckle under for her?

I was interested in the story, put off by the plodding, repetitive dialogue, and intrigued by the hints you left about her infidelity with Bob. I also think that the hsband is too naive, willing to overlook things that contradict his belief in his wife and is too willing to forgive in order to get back to his perfect marriage. Please do not not leave him as gullible as you make him out to be. In general, I have enjoyed all of your stories. I hope you will finish this one. Thanks for sharing your talent.

The husband has information saying that his wife has been screwing around with one or more men going back 8 years and lasting at least for 3 years if not continuing until the present. He believes that she got pregnant, had an abortion and also contracted an STD.<br><br><b>ALL IS FORGIVEN, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS JUST CONFESS!</b><br><br> What a load of crap.<br><br>What about the wife's new found sexual acts and techniques which coincidentally just happen to have started about 8 years ago? What about the wife's sudden interest in swapping, her pushing the issue with her girlfriend without consulting her husband, and her obvious sexual actions and expectations with her friend's husband at their home anticipating a swapping session that night? All kinds of red flags should have gone up and alarm bells should have gone off when one of the first things the wife wanted to talk about after "explaining" the confusion about the medical records is getting together with their "swapping" friends.<br><br>I think the husband has been castrated and labotimized and doesn't even know it. Wake up and smell the coffee and write a more realistic, believable story line.

The Wife is Lying i bet she has been having her fling with bob and his wife you noticed there dissapointment when Janets husband called the meeting off they have been having there fling for awhile i hope you continue with the story.

Pat

Damn - I hate it when we get a somewhat braindead doctor. I believe her sister may have been preggy but Janet and friends have been cucking him for a long long time<P>

His bud Bob and Janet got together long before He and Bob spoke of the old records he found. Then the intervening period until the accusal was long enough for Bob to set up the records that the cuck can now see. When he follows up with sis's clinic he will catch on to her scam.<P>

Lastly I don't know a husband in this wide world who could forgive his wife for a pregnancy, birth control pills [his vasectomy]and an STD. Author - I know your heart is in the right marital consequential place but I think his planned attitude towards her should have been much less forgiving until the proof was secured by his investigation not her sister's. <P>

Also, Wifie's attitude was much more than subdued which sends a signal - why she wasn't upset at him [or her sister?] for the accusations leveled?<P>

On a positive note, your imagination is great and your intention of justice is very much appreciated. The above lack of congruency's is part of the growing which means mistakes and improvements each time out.<P>

Smile Author - you are appreciated.<P>

With High Regard

While the story moved slowly,there is more authenticity here than you might think. The detail of finding the airway issue in the anesthesia record is quite plausible and better than "oh she has a mole on her backthat would be noted in the medical record"---it would likely not have been.

We still don't understand why Janet became much more adventuresome in bed around the time of the apparent infidelity.

Bob already has been banging Janet.. Bob was kinda nervous at his discussion with Bob.. Guilt?? I don't have any guess about Jennifer.. Jennifer would just about have to know, though.. Women sense those things better than men do.. If he can prove the infidelity on her part, will he fold or divorce her?? From what he has said so far, I guess he'll fold.. The truth will out!!

Dumb and dumber went to the doctor. Lucky for them, they just heard the good doctor working on a story. They thought they heard him saying that fidelity in marriage does not mean being loyal and not sleeping around - No No No! All it means is promising to tell the truth after you get the hint that your spouse finally got the word on your long history of sleeping around on your spouse for years, cheating and lying. But it’s too painful to admit it to oneself, so lets play “pretend” and call it the new fidelity after you just confess ‘of your own initiative’ (let’s just hope you did not miss all the hints your spouse has been throwing at you ), after all he just can’t wait to forgive you for cuckolding him. Dumb and dumber were happy to remember the same game they used to play when they were nine or eight which was called: “what would you say if some one told you”, but even they could remember that after some time every kid knew the trick that it’s really about them when they say: “If someone”. They also knew that when some people told the truth about doing some very bad things, they still got their ass kicked big time, so they were very happy that they heard the story first, and they quickly said that they just remembered that they had another important appointment, and indeed they went to see another Doctor. They hoped that the doctor who was writing the story learned how to be a doctor much better than how to be a writer of stories, but they personally felt that they just could not take the risk. See, they were not THAT dumb.

The writing is good and easy to follow. I'm not entirely sold on our main character. I agree with others that he could be better drawn. I like the main plot device. I'm not so happy about the clues that set up the sequel. They are a bit too obvious. Having said that, I think it is a brave attempt to produce a series, and the more you write the better you will get. It would be good if you got more helpful comments instead of the usual accusations of wimp. You don't mention an editor but you'll get more constructive advice if you use one than if you rely on readers feedback. Me excepted of course!!!!! Keep up the good work. Personally, I'd torch the bitch.

The concept was good. You find out your wife is cheating in a way you can't admit. You then solve the conflict by admitting you did what you weren't supposed to do. No originality, no consequences. Wife raises serious questions about her behavior and yet a single medical record is sufficient to answer the question. A simple medical authorization from the sister would have allowed him the answer to his questions. The single record could well have been "doctored". Your stories have interesting concepts. Your execution could have been better here. Keep writing, interesting thoughtful concepts are rare, indeed.

everyone else has this one figured out as I have, and this doc is not the brightest bulb in the basket.

I like your writing style but the characters in your story leave a lot to be desired. How he ever got a medical degree is beyond me. He is unbelievably dense and she is a perfect mate for him, She lives in a fantasy world and he thinks it's great. In the future ,please give him a brain and her a little honesty. Thanks.

60 year old George

This is a nice start to a story. It's fairly well-written. There are a few cases where words were misused or mis-spelled. Examples: "I hated wearing a condom to" (should be 'too'). . . "tell each other how blest we are" (should be 'blessed'). Better editing would catch these in the future. I haven't read any other sections yet but I'm troubled about the apparent inconsistency that any doctor and really, any observant person should have picked up. If the sister got an STD after the pregnancy and abortion, but in the same general time frame, then why did she need birth control pills if the STD made her unable to have children (sterile)? I have trouble believing she did not know of her sterility for the 3 years she took the B.C. pills . . . maybe I'm missing something in the time course of these events but I really think Janet and her sister cooked up a good one to fool hubby. I also agree it's obvious friend Bob has already corked Janet. Our hero Jon should have discussed the situation with someone objective in any event; going to one's friend for counseling (because he is a psychologist) is a mistake; never get treated by a friend. The friendship is ruined permanently if the "treatment" fails . . . Will be interested in reading the next parts of the story.

Why do you limit yourself to a foursome? Hell, if you and the wifey are after a really good nut, maybe you should take to standing on street corners, trolling for strange ass/dick to play with; the increased number of people will increase your chances for better sex! Of course, it'll also increase your chances for disease, but every loving wife and happy marriage needs that extra oomph, so make up some flyers, take out some ads, hire a fucking sky writer, and do whatever it takes! (Note: I find nothing erotic in any way about extra marital sex, makes me wonder why in fuck people got married in the first place if all they want is some strange. That activity shows immaturity, lack of self respect, respect for others, and the list goes onnnnnnnn.)

I read along the first "chapter" of this first "chapter" of your story and when I started the "Chapter 2" of chapter 1, it read as almost a completely different set of characters. The couple and their relationship that you had outlined in part one bore little resemblance to that in "Chapter 2." Quite confusing.

Badly !!!!

But you are really long winded. Long strings of dialog are tough to work with. Emotion, conflict, and action work much better. As is this is a very good story. Condensed in half, it would have been a great story.

Chilley

It is a good story. I don't think it's to long but a lot of the dialog between the married couple reads more like dialog between strangers. Most long term marrieds do not insert unnecessary words. They already know what the other is going to say. I've been with the same woman for 43 years and we do that all the time.

Do not give up though, I liked it because I'm like that with my wife. As far as I can tell neither of us has ever strayed, but there is no way to be ABSOLUTELY certain. It's all about trust.

you have an 81/2 inch dick?......

Did you bother to proof read this mess? And please drop the "this is a true story" crap. You're on a porn site on the world wide web. No one believes a word coming out of your mouth and it adds nothing to the story line. In fact, it just makes us laugh at how ridiculous you sound. Not a single clever or entertaining part to it. And the husband just looked like a complete idiot. This was really a bad story.

Your writing leaves me wondering if you are doing it on purpose

Very quickly I got idea that Janet and Bob had and maybe continuing affair

At ending you are hinting at that

He is downright scary how can you be that dumb and be a doctor don't want him treating me. Or did you write it that way on purpose

I don't know whether to read next part or not

Here we combine the patented, used-to-death, LW weak husband character with the "Let's spice up our marriage by fucking other people" trope. Assume the wife had had the long term affair that he suspected, complete with the abortion and STD. He's merely upset that she hasn't confessed? All she needs to do is say "Honey, I made an error of judgment" and all is forgiven? AND this is mainly a precondition to handing her over to Bob? Who would believe this?

But I thought they could spell! If you want to eat desert than good luck with that....it will include lots of sand and dirt....but eating a dessert is much more pleasurable! I swear most writers on this site cannot spell dessert properly if their lives depended on it!

Ten to one Bob fucked her. Even if not, she’s much more eager to swing than he is. Dump her

I know who wears the pants and the strap-on in your marriage.

Fundamentally when you write get the characters right. The wife is Karen in Chapter 1 and Susan in Chapter 2.

Good concept but fucked up y sloppy writing. For that reason I'll score it 1 star and stop reading.

Useless author.

I was just wondering if this bloke owned a pair, it seems this author is a woman cause only a women would write such dribble. Yes I apologise to women I was just making a point.⭐️

Who does not know the difference between Desert and Dessert.

this story is much,much better than any previous writings if the reader doesn,t look to deeply. Enjopyable so far. What problems, if any, lay ahead for our nerdy couple.

... how the Wife suddenly became so sexually experienced 8 years ago.

Won't be reading the rest of this story. The author claims that this is a true story, if so, then I really can't understand how people who profess to love each other could possibly share their spouse with someone else. Outside of a fantasy I can only think that people like that are psychologically damaged. I simply can't understand the mentally of anyone like that.

Swapping is frigging disgusting

Wow god damn that was boring no I didn't read it all skipped through most of it then gave up completely at the end of page 2

HIPPA = illegal to find the truth.

Wait...if she gets an STD the clinic is required by law to tell all partners: Correct? Soooo....why is he having to schlump around about her medical records? Why didn't they tell him 5 years ago? Must've been a doc at the clinic was her lover.

Why was she so reticent, time and again, about Jon going to work at that particular clinic if all was on the up-and-up?

On another level, I'll never understand anyone who entertains the idea of opening their marriage in the first place.

It's bad enough without sexual entanglement in relationships when one person's head is on a swivel.

Getting close to another potential partner... that intimacy, that factor where they share thoughts and emotions that exclude one of their partners... it's flat-out betrayal. Insidious. If one were to swing at all, to do it with friends that you are very close to us asking for a kick to the jewels. You already know that friendship exists, is strong, and compatibility is high.

I am not saying that Janet has already done wrong, but even that first 'coffee shop' discussion with Bob, when he reacted peculiar at times... that would be a red flag to me, given the beliefs that Jon was holding regarding Janet. That... and her transparent and outright eagerness to sample Bob with her husband's permission say to me that a storm is raging in her head. Her first priority is NOT restoring a solid foundation in her relationship, but correcting the impediments that are slowing her down in her pursuit of swinging. Every time things go her way a little, she is harping on... about getting it on.

Even without the medical record being a factor, I would personally be looking at her actions and intent with very open eyes.

If... that is... I was like Jon and was open to swinging. Which I'm just not.

There's a reason why open marriages almost always bite the dust. You are letting your partner try out others in the most intimate way possible. Once a good sexual chemistry is established... well... if the other person is interested, if the other person is stable and good looking, they've already won the fight.

An established, normalised, every day relationship will never be able to negate the chemistry, excitement and anticipation of new-found love.

Entertaining and sharing every last private piece of your life with other people can only dilute those elements between you and your significant other. Especially if those who you intend to do this with are part of your life every day.

Janet has already shown she is willing to talk to her friend Jennifer to an inappropriate level behind her husband's back... and Bob knew everything about it.

I haven't read the second chapter yet. You say it's your true story. If you got through this whole thing with your marriage intact, hats off to you. You're the exception that makes the rule. If it turns out that it all went bust, I will not be surprised in the slightest.

Quit reading. Fantasy and flirting lead to more cheating. !!!!!!

If not satisfied totally with spouse why the hell get married!!!!

I can't imagine thinking about famous people etc while having sex with my spouse!!!

If you need to divorce and go fuck

So far the doc is a idiot, The story is very transparent, I saw the question with the dude Bob Half way through the first part. Has the wife and Bob and Jennifer been getting it on for a few years.

The first 1.5 pages of build-up contained information that slowed down the story, didn't do anything for the plot, and ultimately became boring. Dialogue is the lifeblood of fiction, and when we did hear the characters, they were strangers because the long set-up did nothing to flesh out their personas. Moreover, the plot was like an Easter egg hunt for small children, and anyone with half a brain saw it coming from a mile away. When the story began to unfold, none of the characters were particularly interesting or likable. Not a good read. Is 'Meeeh' a rating?