The Misadventures of Tiffany Jones

"Let's go!"

They kicked, pushing off and moving fairly smoothly through the powder snow.

Remembering her training, Tiffany got into the Arlberg crouch and pointed her skis down. High overhead the silver strands of the cable railway sloped downwards towards the distant line of trees.

That was when Ray screamed.

"Tiff! We have company!"

The blonde saw a flash first, and then a loud boom from high up behind them. She heard another sharp crack and snow flew up in a plume of white fifteen feet from her. Somebody was shooting at them!

"Bend at the knees, not the waist," she told herself. "Sink lower, weight forward!"

The trees were rushing towards them fast. They veered, hurtling into a right-hand turn to get below the wide belt of trees. More shots! Their pursuers were getting nearer! Now, Tiffany saw a fence across the bottom of the slope. Tiffany and Ray schussed downwards, gulping hard as the snow exploded close by as bullets hit the white powder. Two men on skis were coming fast after them.

Ivan and Josef?

"There!"

Ray saw a wide break in the fence to let skiers through, and on the other side was the parking site in front of the railway station.

Now, bright light showed coming up the railway lines and the train could be heard in the near distance. Almost there!

Tiffany and Beau came to a halt and they discarded their skies by the embankment. The headlight of the engine grew larger and the brakes screeched as it arrived on the platform.

"Look, Tiff!"

Rubbing snow from her goggles, the fashion model peered up and saw two new figures on skis catch up with the shooters. In an odd silence, she and Ray saw a pitched battle with ski poles thrashing through the chilled air onto male craniums.

"That's Caprice and Anneli!"

The English couple watched the Czech agents use their poles as epee and saber to disarm the Russians. One of the girls used her poles to purchase for a controlled butterfly kick to Ivan's face. Anneli moved fast, exploded in a triple strike of two swift kicks and a karate chop to the back of Josef's neck. As the two girls were the only ones left standing, they waved farewell to the grateful Tiffany and Ray.

"You have the train tickets?"

"Right here, babe."

"Come on then. Let's go home."

xxx

Chapter Eleven.

London, 1973.

"So, his name is David Bowie, but really he is David Jones. But now he calls himself Ziggy Stardust."

"Correct. Isn't he just wild, Uncle Arthur?"

The besuited man looked at a near life-size poster above the mantlepiece of the Glam Rock star with the bright red spiky hair, outrageous costume, and platform-heeled silver boots.

"Quite a sight. Although I prefer a little Mantovani myself."

"Who?"

Tiffany tucked her legs beneath her on the armchair and shrugged.

"No matter. So what do you think?"

The effervescent blonde looked at the black and white photograph in her lap again.

"There's a certain resemblance for sure."

"Tiffany, my dear. You and she are so alike you could be her double."

"Her hair is too short. Reminds me of Twiggy."

"Her name is Maria Ionescu. She is a trusted secretary in the Zardanian Embassy here in London. Privy to top secret information that SIS is keen to peruse. The Government is a tad jittery about the Eastern Europeans constantly seeking more armaments. Our plan would be to kidnap the girl and replace her with you. Just for the day mind you. It's not an easy mission, my dear. But I think you're ready to tackle this."

"Hang on. I don't speak flipping Zardanian though."

"Not a problem. We shall give you a wire so that we can hear all conversation. You'll have an earpiece so we can pass on translations. You will feign laryngitis, laryngita in Zardanian, which will mean you won't have to speak. I'll give you a miniature camera so you can take photographs of all and any papers, blueprints, or transactions you have time to take. Also, we would like a detailed picture of the Embassy layout. Ray will tell you how to operate it. Once you've scoured their records get out of there fast. Although knowing the Zardanians, it will be some time before they even realise that you've been in and out."

"I'll have to cut my hair," Tiffany said with a trembling lower lip. "I haven't had it cut in years."

"Agreed. Can't risk a wig. You won't know any of the staff or security. But they will know you."

The willowy fashion model, sometime spy, stood up and gave her Uncle a big hug.

"I'll try not to let you down." She responded with a smile.

"Thank you. But don't take any undue chances."

x

The remarkable kidnapping of the Zardanian Maria had been perfectly executed inside of a week just south of Belgrave Square. Every detail of Maria's movements was plotted and recorded. The pretty twenty-three-year-old Zardanian national had been taking the short walk from the tube station to the Embassy of Zardania at 4 Palace Green. Three agents of SIS came out of the shadows at the hour of eight in the morning and grabbed her. One pinned her arms by her sides, one smothered her mouth with a cloth soaked in chloroform, while the third signaled a fake black taxi. The cab pulled up along the kerb and the three men bundled the groggy short-haired blonde into the rear seat. Increasing speed, the taxi rounded the corner and disappeared from sight. Inside of three minutes, the girl was a captive of SIS. And Tiffany Jones was able to take on her role.

x

The building at 1 Belgrave Square is part of the Belgrave Square architectural complex, in the district generically known today as Belgravia. The construction started in 1820. It was initially called Five Fields and it used to be a rural swampy area between London and Knightsbridge village. The area is one of the most famous and fashionable districts in London, neighbouring Buckingham Palace, Hyde Park, and Serpentine Gallery,

The central garden in Belgrave Square has multiple uses from a playground for children and a tennis court to a promenade and picnic area, being at the same time a space for sculpture exhibitions in the open air. Access is allowed only to people living or working in the Square.

In the bright morning sunshine, Tiffany felt her heart pounding as she approached the main entrance where she flashed her purloined ID badge of Maria. In a few moments, she would enter the unknown.

The building at number 1 Belgrave Square belongs to the Zardanian Ministry of Foreign Affairs and was the first to be built in the square and it is part of the North-West wing of the Square. The building is impressive in size. Four floors plus the attic and basement, surrounded by an English garden more than 1,500 square yards in total.

Tiffany's resemblance to Maria had been truly remarkable. Apart from the length of hair, they were identical in facial features and vital statistics. She had visited her favourite hair stylist, Anton, who cropped her locks off to a short length. Then, she had drops put into her eyes to dilate the pupils. She wore a chic short corduroy coat in an eye-catching navy blue and burgundy. Complete with a button-up front, adjustable belt, and front patch pockets, she wore a red and white polka dot mini dress under it. On her feet were her brand new shiny textured black leatherette ankle boots with a two-inch platform block heel.

"Can you hear me, Tiffany?"

The blonde tilted her head and whispered into her bra, the left cup housing the tiny wire.

"Yes, Uncle. Oh!"

"Fund fromos!"

Barked an old fogey as he pinched her bum. Tiffany wrinkled her cute nose in disgust. The man had a low standard of personal hygiene.

"What just happened?"

"A smelly old sod pinched me. What did he say?"

She put her finger to the earpiece.

'He said, nice bottom."

"Charming!"

A younger man passed her and looked her way.

"Ce faci. Maria?"

"He said, how are you? Show him the note."

Tiff smiled and held out a typewritten which said laryngita. She crossed her throat with a slash of her hand and shrugged.

She concentrated on finding Maria's office on the first floor. Trying her best to look cool and relaxed, Tiffany made her way across the plush carpet to the lift. With two others, she rode up and exited on the first. She passed one man in his office, his door open, and saw him sitting in a swivel chair. He looked at her with steely eyes and thin lips.

"Ce faci?"

The blonde smiled back and nodded politely. Walking on, she found the door numbered ten. She turned the handle and went inside, locking the door behind her.

"So far, so good." She said into her left tit.

"Splendid, my dear," came the reassuring voice of her Uncle. "Now take the camera and click away."

Tiffany looked around the sterile room and approached two four-drawer filing cabinets. She opened the top drawer of one and fished out a file. On one front were the words 'Nu eliminata documentele.'

"Do not remove documents?" Wondered the audacious babe out loud.

"Sounds interesting. Take pictures."

She took out the itty bitty camera from the chunky heel of her specially-made boot and weighed it in her hand. The Minox A III easily fit in the palm of her hand. The state-of-the-art spy camera was the first ever of its kind to incorporate electronic exposure control. As Ray had explained, there was also a fully electronic entry-level model, and a fixed-focus lens.

She began to take photo after photo of every type of written page she could find. After an hour had passed she was suddenly brought out of her information gathering when she heard footsteps in the corridor. With her heart in her mouth, she froze until the footfalls receded.

Without pause, Tiffany worked diligently until she had looked at every scrap of paper in the office. Even the pictures on the walls.

"I think I'm done."

Satisfied that there was no more to be done, Uncle Arthur agreed and told her to leave. She replaced the camera in the heel of her boot and cautiously opened the door of the office. It seemed fairly quiet as she made her way down in the lift to the main lobby. The bum pincher leered at her as she quickly stepped past him and exited the building. Fearful of surveillance, she walked to the nearby café where she sat and ordered coffee and a Danish pastry. Just as if she were taking her lunch break. Her watch said 12.55 when she paid up and stepped outside. With no intention of returning to the Embassy, Tiff hailed a black taxi and told the driver to go to South Kensington. Once in the high street, she changed cabs and told the driver to go to Hammersmith, and then to Fulham. Here she walked to number 23 Parkville Road, where she shared a flat with her cousin Jo. The time was now six.

"Phew! What a relief!"

Jo was there as she entered and kicked her boots off. She pushed open the door of the living room where she saw her older cousin in a white T-shirt and slacks. She lowered her copy of the Evening Newspaper and looked up.

"Oh, you're back. And where's Ray?"

"Haven't seen him since breakfast. Why?"

Jo frowned. She could have sworn that she saw the couple leave the flat together not two hours ago.

"No matter. I'm going to take a bath."

Tiffany nodded just as the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Tiffany! It's your Uncle. You're back home. Still have the camera?"

"Of course."

"Good show. My dear girl. Brace yourself. Maria Ionescu gave us the slip. Yes. She's on the loose and may be coming your way."

"What? Why?"

"She pretended to be you and managed to obtain your address from a stupid young girl who we've now fired. Now she's in on our ruse, she might pose a slight problem."

The door to the room opened and Ray waltzed in with a young, short-haired blonde in tow.

"Good gravy!"

"Tiff?" Sputtered the photographer with the corkscrew hair. "But? Who?"

Tiffany rose from her chair and stared at the other female who was the spitting image of herself!"

x

During the last year, Tiffany Jones had experienced dramatic events, full of twists, shocks, and surprises. But this was something else entirely.

"Ray? Who is this?"

Asked Maria Ionescu.

"I'M Tiffany Jones. Who might you be?"

"I'M Tiffany Jones. Tell her, babe."

"Er..."

Ray looked from one to the other and back again. He had to admit that he had no idea which was the real deal.

"Ray. This imposter is really a Zardanian spy, pretending to be me."

"No, Ray," said Maria in a pretty good imitation of the bubbly blonde model.

"Look into my eyes, Ray. It's me."

"Hmm. Your eyes are kind of funny."

"Oh, bleep! The drops."

"If you are his girlfriend, tell us where his mole is."

Maria gave Tiffany a superior grin.

"Mole? What mole?"

"Apparently, l have a mole."

Ray spread his hands as he was sandwiched by two lookalikes.

"There, that proves it. Ray has a mole right at the top of his buttocks."

Tiffany looked at Maria with a gaping mouth.

"But, how?"

"I'm his girlfriend. Ray and I made love only three hours ago. I think he knows his lover."

"Ray! Is this true? You slept together?"

"Well, yeah. She's my girlfriend. That is, I thought. Run this by me again. One of you is Tiffany, and one is an enemy spy?"

"Ray. It's me. Surely you don't believe her. I know what makes you tick in bed."

Tiffany put her hands on her hips and came nose to nose with the enemy.

"So do I." Said Maria in a stern voice.

"Well. I know he loves the way I give blowjobs."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes. I get him nice and hard, then stroke his shaft upwards to the tip. I always stare into his eyes as I twirl my tongue around the head. Slowly at first, then faster until I gulp him down with a big slurp. I cup his balls and then take a deep breath and suck on him as fast as possible. He loves it."

Ray sighed. He DID like the way the real Tiffany usually fellated him for sure.

"Bloody hell!"

The other blonde. Tiffany? Suddenly shoved the young man back onto the sofa and tugged his blue jeans and underwear down to his shoes.

"Right, Ray, just relax and breathe in and out like normal. Feel my warm hand move up and down your hard cock."

She gave the palm of her left hand a quick lick and rubbed him as he grew hard in her fist. With her wide eyes on his face, her hand went from the base on up then gave a clockwise twist of the wrist when she reached the crown. She gave several strokes while she kept her right hand on his stomach then popped the head in between her soft lips and sucked gently. After a few sucks her head moved down and his stiff rod hit the back of her throat. He groaned loudly as she reared back up and released him. More sucks on the tip then an almighty downward move of her head and he was totally swallowed up once more. Again she backed up and swirled her tongue around and around, saliva dripped down to his dark pubes. Ray thought he was the luckiest man alive as he bucked up from his seat.

"Well? That feel nice?"

Ray sighed and nodded in silence. His throat as dry as a bone.

Maria continued to suck the crown only, while she moved both her hands up and down his rigid shaft. As she shoved forwards again her nostrils flared and her eyes sparkled.

"This is unbelievable." He muttered as he threw his head back.

Tiffany took up the challenge with determination.

"Move over, you. And let me show you how to suck a cock."

The inflamed fashion model got down to her knees and took hold of her lover's throbbing tool and held it upright. She hollowed her cheeks and attacked the rock-hard rod with fast bobs of her mouth back and forth, back and forth, over and over.

"Here we go, like that? Does it make you wanna cum in my mouth?"

Ray sat up and rested on his elbows to watch the amazing sight of the cropped blonde as she moved her head on him. Her right hand made quick twists around the shaft as she made very loud slobbering noises with his knob inside her mouth. As she lifted off him her drool left a long train from her lips to his cock head which trickled down in slow motion. Her fist smeared his entire thick shaft with the spit and left him with a shiny, swollen cock. The long vein along the right side pulsed blue, and a smaller one went off at a right angle just at the top and also rose engorged with his blood.

"See how it's done? He likes it nice and wet. Now watch."

Tiffany spat on the purple-hued head and rubbed him fast as she took his right ball in her mouth and locked her lips around it. She released it and plonked her mouth on his left and sucked on it greedily.

"Listen. This is all well and good. Fact is though my body will turn him on more than yours."

Maria stood up and stripped off her clothes to reveal her curvy body. Ray's eyes popped out as he ogled her stunning naked figure. Not to be outdone, Tiffany stood up and also stripped off. Ray looked at her and his hard dick twitched as he stared at her ripe tits and the soft light downy hair that looked so enticing at the bottom of the V that ran from her hip bones to her mound. His mind ran riot as he took off his shirt and kicked his trousers away.

"I bet he likes my pussy more than yours." Said Maria as she looked into the man's eyes.

"I'm sure he will find it's not as nice as mine, nor as tight."

"Let him decide."

"Look. Let's see who he wants to fuck first."

The two doppelgangers sat on the sofa side by side and lifted their legs up and wide.

"Mines is pinker and nicer." Maria boasted loudly.

"Well mine's wetter and that's what counts the most." Said Tiffany as she bent her left leg at the knee and rubbed her moist labia. Maria also rubbed her cunt, the golden pubes growing ever darker as she became wet.

"See him staring at my pussy? He can't wait to fuck me."

Indeed, Ray wanked his aching cock furiously and remained seated as he ogled the wet slit between the open legs of Tiffany Jones.

"Come on already, just pick one."

"Yeah, whose pussy is better, whose pussy is wetter?"

"Both look good, I want them both." Said he diplomatically. Was he going to fuck the two gorgeous blondes?

Tiffany moved quickly and straddled his body. She held his prick in her hand and guided him inside her muff with a little moan. With both hands on the back of the sofa behind his head, she began to ride him fast, her bum rising and falling at a frantic rate.

"Ooh, yes, he likes that, don't you babe?"

Ray nodded and gripped her peachy buttocks and squeezed tight as his cock was devoured by her hungry cunt. Up and down she rode, her backside slapping on him with every stroke.

"Enough!"

With a strong shove, Maria knocked Tiffany to one side and got aboard the man's cock as he slipped from the yelping blonde and started to bounce up and down, her jiggling tits in his face.

"No no no, get off him!"

Tiffany shoved the other with equal strength and Maria popped off Ray's twitching cock and his real lover climbed on him reverse cowgirl.

"This is my cock bitch! Step aside and watch a real woman fuck a man."

With her hands on her upper thighs, she leaned forward, her feet dug into the carpet and she rode him like he was a stallion. Her head dipped and he gazed in awe at her bum from behind as his cock vanished up into her.

"Ooooh yes, now that feels good, right babe?"

Her hips ground on him as she moved her pelvis along his pubic bone and he could only grunt in answer, the words stuck in his throat.

"No, I'm pretty sure he liked me better." Maria tipped Tiffany onto one side and got on him. Also in a reverse cowgirl stance.

Tiffany stood with her hands on her hips in disgust as she watched them fuck like two teenagers with loud groans and hurried motions. It was uncanny how the two females looked alike. Like looking at herself in the nude whilst she shagged her boyfriend.

"Well how about I shove my pussy in your face, how would you like that?"

"Do it."

Maria reached back with her body as Tiffany swung her right leg over her and dropped her pussy down on the upturned face of the rutting Zardanian.