All Comments on 'The Most Erotic Night of My Life'

For a first timer, you've completed a nice piece of work. The plot is traditional college sex. Your writing style is very good, especially with the multitude of short, staccato- like lines. The style gives the reader time to digest what is happening and speeds up the action. Continue to write, you have the talent. The only mistake I noticed was in the first few paragraphs where you note the importance of her B sized breasts, but latter claim it is the total of her assets that attract the male.