All Comments on 'The Mountain Cabin'

Very well written - but it would have been better if yo had paid attention to spelling and grammar! E.g. Things are dragged not drug!! This seems to be a common error in most of these stories :-(

...I have to agree with the other commenter. Toward the end of the story, there seemed to be more grammatical errors and they became slightly distracting. Your style of writing is quite enjoyable, and I enjoyed the characters and the surprise at the end. However, this needed an editor to find mistakes that would not be caught by a spell-checker.

Two examples from this page alone:

"the bottom his shaft where is disappeared into the woman's pussy."

"The heat was so intense in nearly burned."

These errors may seem minor, but they stop the reader's flow momentarily while the reader's mind mentally corrects the mistake. In a story like this, where you want the reader to suspend disbelief and be carried along with the tale, anything that stops the reader's flow detracts from the experience you are trying to create. As the writer it's easy to miss them because your mind fills in what should be there. But another person editing would find them. Strongly recommend you get an editor, especially when submitting to a contest.

I gave you 4 stars. Would have been a 5 if it were not for the errors, because I really enjoyed the story.

Think this is better of in the Erotic Horror section