The Nanny

"How are they going to find out?" He smiled, dipping his head to my level.

"There's a house full of people out there -- it wouldn't surprise me if someone came up and saw us together."

Daniel shook his head. "And find what? Two people talking?"

"Exactly -- now we're just talking. Which is why we can't do . . . well, what we've been doing."

"What -- fucking?" Daniel's eyes glittered as he said the word. The smile slipped from his face when I didn't rise to the bait. "Ursula," he began, folding his arms and rubbing one hand along his stubbled jaw. "I can't make you any promises or anything. We hardly know each other. But from the moment I first saw you, I was just . . . I don't know the word for it. I was hooked, I suppose. And ever since then, I've just wanted more of you."

I shook my head in disbelief. "It's called lust, Daniel. You wanted to shag me, and you did. And then you did it again. Pretty soon it'll wear off, don't twist this into something that it isn't. Like you just said, we hardly know each other."

"So, you didn't want me?" He laughed. "You didn't feel it, too and think that you had to have me? And now, you don't still feel this? Yeah, we don't know each other yet, but I was looking forward to getting to know you."

"But that's the thing -- we can't get to know each other. It wouldn't work out. And I don't do well with casual sex," I told him. I should have admitted this before we had sex the first time. I should have been up-front, but I was blinded by need. "I get clingy and I get upset when I realise that the other person is just using me-"

"I'm not using you!" Daniel lost his patience a little. "Why can't you get it into your head that I actually want you?"

Because I'm not good enough, I thought, though I didn't admit it out loud. I felt pathetic. "It was a mistake," I said abruptly. I realised that I'd been wringing my hands against each other and pulled them apart. "I could lose my job if Allan or Isabella found out and I can't risk it."

"They won't find out!" Daniel laughed in frustration. "How would they? Who the fuck is going to say something?"

"We're from very different worlds. I come from a council flat in Huddersfield, you come from a bloody townhouse in New York City. I am employed by your family as a nanny. They are literally paying me to be in their lives. I'm not at this party as a guest, I am here as an employee. This," I gestured at the two of us, "is never going to work. I will always end up the one who gets hurt."

"Are you just coming up with any excuse you can think of?" I felt a little hole begin to form inside of me. He looked hurt. And it was me that had done that to him. "If you don't like me, or whatever, just say that. Cut the bullshit."

"That's not what I'm saying at all!" I cried desperately. What wasn't connecting in his head?

"Good," he moved towards me quickly, taking my face in his hands as he kissed me. It was deep and passionate and dangerous. His tongue snaked into my mouth, gliding across my own, sending pulses down to my core.

Daniel was the first to pull away, keeping his face close to mine. "This is amazing. Please don't end it."

I whimpered slightly, desperate to do what he said, but knowing that I couldn't. "Daniel-" I began, but he cut me off.

"What if we don't sleep together, then?" His eyes searched mine. "Let's just spend tonight together -- not in bed or anything -- see if there's something here?"

I considered it. There was no explicit rule against spending copious amounts of time with people while I was under this family's roof, but I'm sure that they hadn't felt the need to mention their displeasure at the idea of me seeing one of their family members. It could still lead to trouble, but on a much lesser scale. I could say that he had just taken me under his wing. Or blame it on the alcohol. Either way it couldn't hurt too badly.

I nodded, smiling slightly.

"Is that a yes?" Daniel laughed, making me giggle with him.

"Yes, it's a yes," I smiled. He was so handsome -- so kind looking when he smiled. And yet I knew how domineering he could be when he wanted to.

"Good," he kissed the tip of my nose, taking me by surprise. What a cute thing to do. "Come on," he pulled away completely, taking my hand. "Let's go have fun."

I let him pull me from the room, following him down the stairs.

I was smiling until we got to the hallway and saw Hannah. She stood with her arms crossed, an eyebrow raised, her sight locked on our hands. "Well, you wasted no time with this one, did you Daniel?"

"Leave it, Hannah," he warned her, growling a little. I tried to drop his hand, but he clutched mine all the tighter.

"We were just talking," I interjected, hoping to save my own skin.

"I believe that the help are supposed to speak when spoken to," Hannah sneered at me. I wanted to bite back, but I realised the position I was in. It was just like being a waitress all over again -- you can't talk back to the customers, especially if you know your boss will side with them. And I was pretty sure that Isabella and Allan would side with his bloody sister.

"It'd be a shame if someone else lost their job, wouldn't it?" Hannah smiled, clearly addressing Daniel.

I expected him to bite back, to say something that would put her in her place, but he remained silent, letting his little sister walk all over him. Hannah smirked, turning on her heel. She re-joined the party.

"What's she going to do?" I asked, slipping my hand from his.

"Nothing," Daniel growled. "Hannah is all bark, no bite. I know too much shit that she's done for her to try and do anything to me."

Sure, I thought. She's can't get you -- but what about me?

************

Sunday, December 23^rd 2018

I woke up feeling worse for wear. My mouth and eyes were dry, and I felt just a little nauseous. I tried to untangle myself from my sheets, only to find that I was trapped and burning up. I was still wearing my clothes from last night, so that didn't help, but it took me entirely too long to understand what the main source of heat was.

Turning to my right, I found Daniel passed out beside me, his mouth handing open. Oh Lord.

We had gone back downstairs after we'd seen Hannah -- I was sure of that. But the rest of the night was a little blurry. I'd drank quite a bit -- no, that's not right -- I drank a lot. I'd never really drank champagne in that quantity, and it'd gone to my head. I don't think I ate anything either.

I could remember dancing with him; stupid, crazy dancing to terrible songs like 'Cotton-eyed Joe'. We were holding hands quite a bit, but no one noticed (or, at least, no one mentioned it). Everyone was horribly drunk by 10.30. Isabella did try to make a speech, but Allan caught her in time. A big group of people began Ceilidh dancing in the family room and dragged me into it -- I think I was dancing with June's husband, Pete. There was an argument between two very similar looking women at one point and their husbands (I think?) dragged them apart. People began singing the song Loch Lomond, and I'm sure one man was crying during it. Scottish people could be very odd.

I didn't know when people started to leave -- Daniel had dragged me upstairs and we chatted for ages. We were both drunk and I wasn't sure what I had said, but I was embarrassed. I tended to enjoy telling people exactly what I thought about them when I was drunk. And I had a lot to say about him.

I checked my phone. 7am and two missed calls from my mum -- I guessed that's what woke me up. She had always been an early riser, so it wasn't too surprising. I put my phone back, telling myself I'd call her later. For now, I had to go and get the girls. Sophie would likely already be awake.

"Daniel?" I whispered, nudging him. "Daniel!" He grunted, and pulled me against him, spooning me. "You need to go back to your room," I laughed, pulling at his hands. "People will start waking up soon."

"No one gets up before ten the morning after the party," he snuggled closer into me. My heart melted a little. I could so easily get used to this.

"Iona and Sophie weren't drinking last night," I smile. "They're probably already up, I need to go get them."

"I thought you didn't work on Sundays?" He reminded me.

He was right -- I didn't work on Sundays. It was just such a routine for me. Iona hardly got to see me during the week, so whenever she got the chance at the weekend, I'd be with her. And since I didn't go out much to save money, I spent most of my weekend with the girls. I wondered who would have to brave the hangover and deal with them now.

I relaxed back into his arms, but he was already awake.

His mouth nuzzled into the back of my neck. He pulled me closer by the waist and I could feel his erection against my back.

"I thought we weren't having sex," I reminded him on a groan as I felt him grinding his hips into my ass.

"Do you not want to?" He asked, his hand slipping between my thighs. I knew he would have stopped if I had asked him to, but I didn't want that.

"Do you have a condom?" I managed to gasp as his hand rubbed against my sex, through my tights.

He didn't reply, but I felt him shift. I tilted my head a little to see him pull his wallet from the back of his trousers and grab a couple of condoms from between the notes.

"Just in case," he smiled shyly at me, when he saw me looking. I giggled and turned away, grinding myself down onto his fingers.

I heard the condom being ripped and his trousers unzipping before he pulled his hand away from between my legs.

A second later Daniel lifted my skirt and pulled my tights and pants down. He was already wedged into the perfect spot behind me, his cock hanging out of his trousers. He pushed into me on a sigh -- I was wet enough that it didn't take much for him to slide in.

It was a little awkward since I was still wearing my bra, but he managed to wiggle his hand up underneath to play with my nipples. He twisted and pulled on them, squeezing as he tortured me.

He kept his grinding motion going and I felt myself grow impatient. In this position he couldn't reach my clit with his other hand, so I had to take care of it myself.

"Fuck yes, touch yourself," he groaned in my ear, making me shiver. "Make yourself come on my cock."

Daniel's thrusts got shorter and fasted, matching his panting. He was desperate and clawing, grabbing my breast roughly as he forced himself into me again and again.

I stayed as quiet as I could but with my fingers circling my clit and his incessant pounding I was coming quickly.

"Oh God," I said a little too loudly as the fluttering began, and the hand he had at my breast left to cover my mouth, clamping over it to stop me from screaming.

I came on his dick, my muscles spasming as he began coming. I felt him bite down onto my neck as he whimpered through his orgasm, jerking into me a few more times, holding me as we both came down.

"I think you might be a little bit addictive," I told him when he finally moved his hand off my mouth.

"Only a little?" He pouted, pulling away from me and rolling off the bed. He headed to the bathroom and disposed of the condom. "I do not feel great," he told me as he came back into the bedroom.

I rolled over to get a look at him. He was a little grey around the edges; his shirt rumpled and untucked, but besides that he looked glorious to me.

Daniel grinned looking at me. "I think you need to look in the mirror."

He offered me his hand and pulled me from the bed, dragging me behind him to the bathroom. The nausea got a lot worse when I was upright, and I groaned.

"Jesus," I gasped when I saw myself. My make-up was all over my face and my eyes were bloodshot with dark circles underneath. "I look like shit," I giggle, grabbing a few wet wipes.

"You look beautiful, as always," Daniel smiled softly, kissing me on the cheek. It was such a sweet gesture that I felt a flutter in my chest.

"Yeah, on the whole three times you've met me." My eye make-up took a bit of scrubbing, but there's barely a trace of foundation left on me.

"It doesn't feel like we hardly know each other, does it?" Daniel asked me. He was leaning against the wall behind me, observing my technique.

"No, it really doesn't," I agreed. I was glad that he said it, I was worried that I was going a bit crazy or acting pathetic. I really liked him. "You should go back to your own room, though." I warned him. I didn't want to be caught again.

"Yeah, yeah, you want rid of me, I get it." He pushed himself away from the wall and caught me by the waist, spinning me to face him. He kissed me gently twice before he pulled away, a big, cheesy grin on his face. "Breakfast will be at about ten, by the way. Laters, baby."

Oh no, I thought, as caught my matching goofy grin in the mirror. I'm in such trouble with this one.

**********

I arrived at breakfast at quarter past ten to find the whole family was already there, except Daniel. I had showered and cleaned any trace of last night (and this morning) off of me. I read a book for a while to pass the time, before I realised, I hadn't called my mum back. When I did, she didn't answer, beginning the usual dance of 'I'm returning your call, sorry I didn't catch you'. We'd be playing it until at least Christmas Day.

"June, did you make all this?" I asked in amazement. The table was totally covered in food. There were pancakes, a bowl of fruit salad, bacon, sausage, eggs, toast, fruit juice, coffee and tea on the table. It was all perfectly laid out with napkins, glasses and cutlery. It looked professional.

"I did," she smiled, adding condiments to the middle. "Hangovers are no joke in this house," she winked at me and ushered me to an empty chair beside Isabella.

"Where are the girls?" I asked Isabella, noticing their absence.

"Richard and Evelyn took them out for a walk," she murmured. I nodded, turning away from her. It was clear that if she could, she would be in a windowless room, wallowing in her hangover. I decided not to bother her anymore than I had to.

"Did you sleep well last night, Ursula?" Hannah asked me as I sat down, her voice sickly sweet.

"Yes, thank you," I smiled at her, amazed at her civility. Until.

My smile dropped. It came flooding back in a moment, and my face turned red immediately.

"I bet you're a goody two shoes," Daniel chuckled, tickling my side. I was drunk enough that the tickling didn't bother me -- and tickling always bothered me.

"I am not -- I'm a bad girl, can't you tell? I don't play by the rules."

"The only rule is --"

"There are no rules," I cut him off, falling into a heap of giggles by his side. We were sitting on my bed, champagne between us that we were drinking from the bottle. Very uncivilised.

"I bet you're a goody two shoes," I told him, nudging him. "You look like an angel -- you can't be bad."

"I can be bad!" He sat up, indignantly, making me laugh harder. "Let me show you," he growled, wiggling his eyebrows.

Daniel pounced on me -- throwing himself on top of me as I cackled and struggled against him. He was mauling my neck; kissing, licking, sucking, and biting.

And then Hannah walked in.

"Jesus Christ, Daniel," she sighed. "Can you not control yourself?"

"Hm?" He pulled away from my neck. His hair was sticking up all over the place, making it look like he had devil horns. "Hannah, my baby sister!"

"Are you getting up or not?" She demanded. She didn't sound drunk at all.

"Not!" He called, turning back to my neck and nuzzling in, making me laugh.

"Ugh," her face shrivelled in disgust and she moved to leave the room.

"Oh, Hannah?" I called and she turned, though it was clearly reluctantly.

"What?"

"Did you swipe right or left for me?" I asked as innocently as I could, which wasn't easy considering I was slurring my words.

"Fuck you," she hissed at me, slamming my door.

I fell back against Daniel, panting through my giggles.

I looked at Hannah -- she was still smiling at me, forking a piece of pancake into her perfectly made-up little mouth.

Just then Daniel walked in, giving his mum a kiss on the cheek before sitting beside Hannah, directly opposite me. "This looks amazing, June," he smiled full watt at her, and I definitely saw her blush.

We all sat in silence for a while. Isabella and Allan were clearly not feeling well.

I could feel Daniel looking at me, trying to catch my eye but I didn't look back. I couldn't. My entire body was moving mechanically, doing just enough to make myself appear like a normal human being, but I was screaming inside.

"Daniel, how did you sleep?" Hannah asked, smiling at her brother. Daniel smiled back and I held my breath. He was walking into a trap. I could feel it happening, but I couldn't catch his eye to tell him.

"Really well, thanks Hannah." I could feel him about to ask how she had slept but she cut him off.

"Yeah, I always sleep better when I'm not alone, too."

No, I could feel my heart beating, my palms sweating. Daniel choked a little on a sip of coffee.

"I'm sorry?" He asked her, his eyes darting to me involuntarily.

Everyone was watching this exchange. I was blushing really badly -- I couldn't have looked more guilty if I'd tried.

"Oh, I just assumed. You didn't come back to your room last night," she gestured to me with her fork. "You know, after I found you in Ursula's room?"

Everyone's gaze moved to me.

I was frozen, my fork hovered above my plate. My breathing was fast and hard. A wave of nausea almost killed me.

"Oh, we were just talking," Daniel chuckled a little. I couldn't look at him to see if he looked as guilty as I did.

Hannah giggled a little. "She must have had trouble hearing you if you were talking with your face in her neck." I could just see Hannah looking at Isabella and Allan, her eyebrows raised, baiting them to join in.

Allan coughed a little. "Everyone was drunk," he reasoned. Isabella nodded. Really, I thought she was just glad that she wouldn't have to deal with it in her state. "We all do silly things when we're drunk."

We were all silent for a second. I looked up slightly to see Daniel's face. He was wincing at me. I never knew what 'I'm sorry' looked like without words, but I saw it then.

"They weren't drunk the first time," Hannah added after a few more seconds.

I wanted to murder her. I could imagine my hands around her tiny little throat.

"Ursula?" Isabella looked at me. I could feel displeasure radiating off of her in waves. "Is this true?"

I didn't answer. If I lied and I got caught it would only get worse.

The front door banged open, making me jump, as the girls ran in -- Iona running straight to the table, with Sophie trailing behind her on her tiny, stumpy legs.

They were gabbing excitedly about something that was happening in the park -- a dog dressed up as a reindeer or something -- but Isabella wasn't paying any attention.

"Evelyn?" She asked, as soon as her mother in law came into the dining room. "Could you sit with the girls for just a moment?"

"The office," Allan stated, throwing his napkin on his plate and pushing his chair back. Isabella and Daniel followed suit and, reluctantly, I did too.

I walked behind them as though I was heading to my death -- the look of sheer panic must have been evident on my face.

I had never been in the office before but, while I was sure it was lovely, I took no notice of my surroundings. Allan and Isabella immediately stood in front of a desk, which Allan then leaned against, while Isabella stayed absolutely straight. There was a red leather couch in front of them which Daniel and I then sat on at opposite sides, making sure not to touch.