The Nanny

"He's there until tomorrow afternoon." Allan shrugged. "But, like I said, it's not like it matters. I'm just giving you random details." He pushed his stool away from the bar and pocketed his wallet again. "Good coffee, Urs. Hopefully see you around some time."

"Yeah," I replied. My hand was at my mouth, tugging on my bottom lip. Allan left and I still hadn't moved.

I could do it, I realised. I could go and see him after work. The train would only take an hour and a half at most.

"Waitress?" One of the elderly ladies called me, raising her hand. "Can we get some hot water, please?"

************

I was on the train to Norwich. Of course, I was -- as soon as Allan walked into the café, I knew I wanted to see Daniel again. There was a chance that he didn't really want to see me, but I didn't care. I rationalised that I could just apologise for what I said. If he didn't accept it, or worse, didn't even agree to see me, then it was no sweat off my back. I hadn't even paid my own train fare.

I arrived in Norwich just after six. It was a bad time to get there -- for all I knew Daniel would be out for dinner with people and I'd be waiting in the hotel reception for hours like some weird little stalker.

Unfortunately, my planning hadn't been great. I hadn't even gone home to get changed first, so I reeked of coffee beans and minestrone soup. I had, however, planned out exactly what would happen when I got here.

I would go in, arrive at reception and ask which room Daniel was in. The receptionist would tell me, I'd go to his room, he'd be surprised at first, before he'd smile and tell me that he'd missed me. I'd apologise but then he'd immediately sweep me up into his arms and throw me on the bed, all the while telling me, 'you know, I actually really like the smell of day-old minestrone', and we'd make love for hours.

Sometimes it's better to not plan at all.

I arrived at the George Hotel soaked. It had begun raining when I got on the train and hadn't stopped since. I didn't have a jacket; it had been a nice day when I left for work that morning. But I soldiered on, figuring that I'd pop into the toilets at reception and use the hand-drier to fix myself up a little.

The hotel was nice -- not crazy fancy, but much nicer than anything I'd stayed in recently. Reception was the next hurdle, though, and I knew I'd have trouble with it as soon as the guy behind the desk saw me.

He looked me up and down, noticing my worn work trousers and graphic t-shirt, along with the fact that I clearly couldn't afford a taxi here, and decided he wasn't going to help me. I was 99% sure that was the exact sequence that ran through his head.

I went ahead anyway.

"Hi," I smiled at him as sweetly as I could. I wasn't a particularly 'cute' girl, but I hoped that he'd take pity on me. "My friend is staying here but I don't know what room he's in. I was wondering if you could help me?"

The guy -- his nametag said Mark, but I didn't trust him to tell the truth -- wrinkled his nose in distaste. "Does your friend have a name?"

"Yes," I smiled even wider. I hoped he could sense the sarcastic undertones, but I doubted it. "It's Daniel Redhurst."

'Mark' typed something into the computer in front of him but turned to nod his head at me. "Yes."

I waited for a second for him to elaborate. "Yes?" I asked when it became clear that he wouldn't.

"Yes, we have a guest by that name, but I can't give you their room number without their consent." He shook his head as though this was the most obvious thing in the world. Fuck you, Mark.

"Right, so do I just wait here, or . . .?"

He rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically. Honestly, if I had acted like that in the café I'd have gotten a pay decrease. "Hold on, I'll call up."

I nodded, looking around me for the first time. This place was pretty lush -- it reminded me of the Redhurst's home up in Edinburgh, with the plushy carpets and cream colour scheme.

"Good evening, sir, I'm sorry to disturb you, but there's a woman at reception asking for your room number." Mark listened to the other end of the phone and I strained just to hear Daniel's voice for a second.

"What's your name?" Mark asked me, putting his hand over the receiver.

Oh, I paused. I wanted to surprise him. "Can you just tell him it's a friend?"

"No," Mark replied instantly, his face growing sourer, if that was even possible. "Name?"

"Urs."

Mark's eyebrow lifted. "Urs? Are you sure?" He sneered a little, but it felt like he was laughing at me more than anything. His face suddenly snapped back to professional. "Yes sir? Of course, sir, right away."

He hung up and started typing on his keyboard.

I looked at him, waiting for him to either throw me out or tell me the room number.

"Here," he smiled at me for the first time, handing me a little plastic key card. "Room 412, the lift is just to your left, madam."

"Thank you so much, Mark," I smiled sweetly at him. See how easy life is when you're just nice to people? I wanted to ask him, but he turned away to busy himself with other things.

The lift was already waiting, and I pushed for level 4.

This was it. I was going to see him again. I took the key card as a good sign -- he could have met me in the lobby, or just turned me away. My leg was jiggling, I was nervous, and I'd forgotten all of the things that I'd wanted to say when I was on the train.

Tell him the truth. Just tell him how you feel and tell him how sorry you are.

If only it were that simple.

The doors pinged open on the fourth floor and I almost pressed the button to go back to reception. I was all too aware of just how awful I actually looked. And smelled.

Forcing my leg to move out the doors before they closed again, I found myself in the hallway.

I almost jumped out my skin when I looked to my left and I saw half of Daniel, leaning in his open doorway, at the end of the hall.

Put your big girl pants on and go talk to him! I screamed at myself, but nerves weren't the problem anymore. There was a heaviness in my entire groin area. I still wanted him, just as badly as before. Nothing was out of my system.

I tentatively walked to his door, to see Daniel in full.

He was leaving against the door frame, his head tilted back, exposing his neck. His stubble was longer than last time and I knew immediately that I liked it even better this way. He had his arms folded across his chest. Anyone would think that he looked cool as a cucumber, but his eyes were wild.

"Hi," I didn't smile at him. I couldn't. I felt more like crying.

"Come in," he told me, stepping out of the way enough that I could shuffle past him. I could smell him as I brushed past, and I felt like a bit of a creep, but he smelled so good.

His room was pretty standard -- not the crazy, lavish affair that I would have expected from someone so well-off, but I wasn't sure that Norwich had a swanky hotel, either.

I heard the door click behind me, and I turned to him.

Daniel had both of his hands on the back of his neck. He looked ruffled and delicious.

My breaths were shallow and terrified.

"What are you doing in Norwich?" I asked. It wasn't how I'd hoped to start, but it was something.

"Inching closer and closer to Cambridge." He smiled at me, but his eyes looked sad.

That was all it took -- I cracked a bit.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so fucking sorry," I felt heavy tears drop straight past my face, barely skimming my cheeks. I was already so wound up. "Hannah lied to me and I didn't even question it and I just blamed you for everything, but I didn't know that she lied. And it's still not her fault, it's mine," I knew I was garbling, but I couldn't stop. I had to get everything out before I forgot what I wanted to say. "Of course, you weren't trying to get us caught, I don't think that's the kind of person that you are, and I always have really good gut feeling about people. I fucked up, I know I did, and I'm so sorry, if there's anything I can do- "

Daniel stepped towards me and pulled me into his arms, cradling my head against his chest. I'd never felt so safe.

"I know about Hannah, she told me." His voice was gravelly, as if he was choked up, too. "She didn't know what had actually happened -- it doesn't excuse her making it up, and telling you just to spite me, but she genuinely didn't know. And maybe I did parade it around a little -- the fact that I had you. But it's just because I thought that maybe, if Allan and Isabella were eased into the idea, it would be ok -- no harm done. I was going to ask you on a proper date that day, before it all blew up."

I was still crying, clinging to his shirt. It hurt to know that if Hannah hadn't stepped in then it could have all been different. I could have stayed, and we could have avoided this horrible past month.

"I'm not in love with you," I pulled away from his chest to look at him. His eyes were red, but he still chuckled.

"I know what you mean. It's weird, isn't it?"

"I've never felt like this before," I told him honestly, moving my hands up to rest on his chest, feeling his heartbeat.

"Me neither," he mumbled, leaning down to kiss me. It was heaven.

I hummed against his lips, pulling away slightly. "Why did you get me a key card if you were going to wait at the door?" I pulled the plastic rectangle out of my pocket, waving it in his face.

"I hoped you might stay a while. That is, if you don't have work or anything to go back to . . . or anyone."

Daniel looked so hopeful -- so utterly vulnerable that my entire heart expanded. It may have been too soon for love, but I was falling hard anyway.

"Just you," I smiled up at him.

The relief was plain on his face as he bent to kiss me, igniting the need within me again. I had a feeling that it would never get any better.

"Just us," he whispered in my ear, leading me backwards to the bed, where he showed me how great 'us' could be.

The End.