The Neighbour

He glanced round at Shelia as if just remembering she was still decorating his bed.

"Time we thought about getting down town.

I'm just nipping to the loo."

That left me alone with Shelia who was still writhing around in his bed as though on heat. Her legs seemed to be in continual motion under the covers, twisting her hips one way then the other. No prizes for guessing what had been going on here before I'd arrived.

"You getting dressed?"

"Are you gonna watch?" She asked with a sultry grin.

I laughed.

"That's not what I meant."

"I don't mind.

Wanna to see my tits?"

She was smirking at me. That wild, prick-teasing look she'd had ever since I'd known her.

A moment later she pulled the sheet down and I was greeted by two small teardrop-shaped breasts.

"What do you think?

Perky aren't they."

She was proudly looking down at herself. They were nice. Especially to a teenager that'd never seen tits before. But I couldn't help but think I'd rather be looking at Elaine's. My dick didn't differentiate so much.

"Shelia. I think they're very lovely, but..."

I heard the toilet flushing and Shelia covered up.

"Don't tell Craig." She winked.

"Right. Are we going to the Carnival or what?"

Craig looked at his oversexed girlfriend from the doorway.

"Come on Shelia. Get dressed."

A friendly hand guided me out of the room as she unashamedly lifted the covers to get out. I tried to keep my face turned away so he didn't see my red cheeks.

"We'll wait downstairs." He said.

"You don't want to be seeing something you shouldn't."

Too late for that. But I kept her secret as I accepted playing gooseberry.

Carnival weekend was a big event in our small town. It brought everyone out to watch the floats and buy hotdogs from the sudden invasion of vans. That was my priority for the day. Three hotdogs, mine with lashings of mustard.

Music blared up the high street and colourful floats drifted past at a snail's pace with parading marchers in between. Most of them were just from local businesses advertising themselves unsubtly by dressing it all up in ribbons and flowers, along with more than the occasional bird in a swimsuit.

We wandered along the road toward the old church behind the watching crowds, snatching glimpses of the show.

"I could be up there."

Shelia was pointing at a decked-out Commer flatbed that looked more to be promoting Playboy magazine than anything else. It was covered in girls, all of them in bikinis, waving and throwing flowers into the crowds. Someone rattled a collection bucket near me and I dropped a few coins in it.

"Isn't that Angie?" Craig suddenly shouted out.

My eyes scanned the girls in more detail.

"Oh yeah."

It was Angie. She was another of the girls who regularly hung around our school gates or in the boy's regular haunts. I was used to seeing her in uniform or the hippy garb she wore out of school. Petite with blonde hair and big eyes I'd always noticed her. Especially with her short skirts. Today there was little more anyone could ask to see.

"She's a bit of a space cadet but ... Sweet."

I was a little shocked when Shelia grabbed hold of my arm and hung from it like a girlfriend.

"Eyes back in your head Mister. Or I'll find someone else."

I didn't think it'd be too long before she did that anyway. It just wasn't going to be me. Craig turned back and reclaimed his property.

"Kev has a tiny prick. I've seen it in the showers. You're much better off with me."

"Only one prick here." I responded.

The two love birds made up with a quick cuddle as my attention was drawn to something else. The Solicitors office. A large turn-of-the-century building with a big plaque outside proclaiming the qualifications of its partners. That was where Elaine worked. Shame they didn't have a float. Elaine in a bikini was something I'd like to see.

"There's a brass band in the park." Shelia announced.

"The old bandstand getting some use. They painted it up in the spring.

Let's go see that.

And the fair."

So off we went to the top of the high street past the church. Craig and Shelia walked hand in hand while I followed up the rear feeling like a spare part.

The park was even noisier than the high street. A funfair was in town for the week. Exciting rides and booming music that still couldn't drown out the exhilarating screams of children. A towering Big Wheel stood in the centre of smaller rides, shooting galleries and ring toss games. Announcers shouted out well-practised blurbs to attract paying customers.

Around us, families, groups of young teenagers and couples wandered from one attraction to another eating ice cream and fluffy candy floss. Others had burgers from the vans powered by noisy diesel engines. The aroma of burnt onions swamped out exhaust fumes. It was mouthwatering and I considered a second hotdog.

At the other end of the park, I could see the Victorian bandstand. It was freshly painted as Shelia had said, and strewn with bunting. Union jacks left over from the Silver Jubilee a couple of years ago draped from the fret decoration of the roof edge.

I pushed my hands in my pockets and tagged on to the others as they darted from one stall to the next.

"I want a prize." Shelia was begging.

She was hanging from Craig's arm like a child trying to lead him somewhere but I hadn't been listening. In my head, I was imagining how it would be if Elaine was with me. Of how it would be with us hand in hand.

"I can shoot."

Craig's words brought me back to reality.

"Goldfish?"

"No. It's cruel keeping them in those plastic bags.

Something else."

A moment later Shelia and Craig ran off toward the Shooting Gallery.

"Back in a jiffy."

I watched them run off leaving me alone. For a moment I wondered why I'd come.

"Hello."

I started at the voice so close behind me.

"Elaine."

Oh my god, she looked stunning. Pale-coloured jeans and a cowboy shirt covered by a frilly denim waistcoat. This was TV-level fashion. I looked her up and down while considering that I should pinch myself to prove it wasn't a dream.

"Wow."

She did a twirl in true Anthea Redfern style and held her hands out. Thoughts of The Generation Game weren't helping me forget that sixteen years kept her from being the girlfriend I so wanted her to be.

"Like it?"

She looked so joyful that I was impressed.

"Yeah.

You're a stunner."

Should I have said that? Elaine didn't respond, instead, she was looking in the direction my friends had gone.

"Where are your friends?"

"The shooting gallery."

"Good."

She snatched my hand and started dragging me deeper into the fair.

"Come on. Take me on the Big Wheel."

"You serious? Me and you?"

I was ecstatic at this unexpected turn.

"Yeah. Why not."

"What if someone sees us?"

"Not embarrassed by your friend are you?" She grinned madly.

"It's just a ride."

"No, but...

To hell with it."

I skipped to catch up and for just a few minutes I could become that young man at the fair with his girlfriend I'd been daydreaming about. How cool was that?

The queue wasn't so long. It'd be much worse come the evening when the sun began to sink and a kaleidoscope of lights illuminated the park.

"Haven't been on one of these since junior school." I admitted with some trepidation.

"I never have.

This is my moment of madness when I embarrass myself."

She giggled and squeezed my hand.

"I'm terrified."

"It's not that bad. Just hold on to my hand."

I tried to sound confident and protective but as we reached the front of the queue and our open, swaying chair awaited us I looked up. It seemed so much higher than I remembered. I wondered if I could maintain my hero image.

Elaine was holding my hand again as we took our seat in the gently rocking seat. My stomach was already turning over as I looked skyward through the framework. At age ten there is no sense of danger. As an adult, I was acutely aware of things that could go wrong.

"Are you excited?" Elaine asked with an enthusiastic grin that covered her face. She gave a purposeful shudder.

"It's gonna be great."

Of course, it would be great. I was with Elaine. The ride assistant secured us into our seat and the wheel turned a little for the next couple.

"It's very high." She said looking up.

"Wait till you see the view from the top."

"This is scary. I hate heights."

I couldn't say I was keen on them. But that was the point of fairground rides, wasn't it? To scare yourself.

I could see forever as we approached the highest point. Next to me Elaine screamed and squeezed my hand.

"Oh hell." Elaine exclaimed with a mixture of fear and excitement as we reached the very top.

"Oh my god." She cried out excitedly.

"Look. You can see the rooftops of our estate."

She was right. The whole town seemed to be stretched out before us like a map.

My adrenaline was pumping. I just couldn't tell if it was through fear of the height or the excitement of having Elaine share this experience with me.

Then the descent began and my stomach was in my mouth.

Elaine screamed as we picked up speed. I felt lighter on the fall only to be pushed back into my seat as we switched back into the assent once more. It gained speed on the second cycle and my stomach churned with its weightlessness.

"Oh my god."

Elaine was a child caught in the thrall of a pleasurable terror.

Around me, the sound of screaming teens and children drowned out the rattle of the machine and the drone of a diesel generator. Loud music became deafening. A cacophony of traditional fairground and more mainstream pop music seemed to come at us in alternating waves depending on where we were on the wheel.

It was exhilarating and terrifying and yet I forced myself to look brave, not scream out. I had to be the man. The hero to my damsel as she continued to scream with each descent. Thankfully I became more confident the rattling monstrosity wouldn't shake itself to pieces quite yet and joined in the shouts of joy.

Then it was over. One last death-defying tumble and we came to a shuddering stop. Now all that remained was the last few stepped moves until it was our turn to exit onto the platform.

"Phew.

That was fantastic.

My stomach is still turning over."

Elaine looked like a teenager. Grinning and laughing with her excitement. We walked hand in hand back toward the edge of the fair where she'd found me. My heart sank as I sensed her hand slipping from mine. She was still smiling as she stopped walking but it was more shallow. My moment of being in another life was coming to an end.

"That was fun. Thank you.

I should leave you before your friends come back.

But we share a memory now."

She started to walk away as I played those words over. A memory. Did it mean as much to her as it did to me? Then suddenly she turned.

"If I don't see you before. Pop round Friday when I get in from work. About seven.

Tell your mum ... whatever.

I want to cook for you."

"Okay. It's a date."

I could have kicked myself for saying date. It wasn't a date. It was just me visiting a neighbour. A friend. But Christ almighty, she'd just said she was going to cook.

I was lifted to a new plateau with the invite. Did she even grasp the connotations of her words as she vanished into the crowds?

It wasn't a moment too soon.

"Kev. Kev.

Look what Craig won."

Shelia was ecstatic with her new possession. A big soft teddy bear she was cuddling tightly.

"Craig was pleased with himself.

"Dirty Harry ain't going nothing on me."

He made a shooting motion with his hand.

"Pow."

"Did you make her day?" I said innocently.

"Did that twice before you got to my house."

Shelia giggled.

"I did not need to know that."

I turned toward the bandstand as I heard the brass band strike up their first tune. It was vibrant and jolly. Just like my mood.

SIX

Friday nights became a regular evening meet-up with Elaine. It wasn't planned that way, it just seemed to happen. Work finished for the week and a need to relax was the driver I guess. I just didn't recollect who'd made it a date.

'Just popping next door' Wasn't a statement that pleased Dad. It did please my raging hormones though.

It was another warm day. I seemed lucky with those. It wasn't the greatest summer. No repeat of nineteen seventy-six, but the rain seemed to be adept at hitting in the week leaving the sun for the days I saw Elaine.

And with the warmth came the summer wardrobe. Today it was another of those knotted shirts she liked so much and some very nice, tight shorts. Perfect legs flashed at me as she walked around while I took a seat on the patio.

"Beer?"

"You're going to make me an alcoholic."

"Just getting you drunk so I can have my wicked way with you."

I almost choked on that and I had no answer. Not one I could say without spoiling our friendship.

I felt her hair brush over my face. Her scent invaded my nostrils as she leaned over to put the tumbler down. More and more she was becoming familiar with me. Each time I went around she got less formal. I wasn't even waiting for an odd job any more. And besides, I think she'd run out of them. Instead, it'd become 'pop round for a drink' or 'come and keep me company'.

It felt natural to just have her invite me over whenever she saw me outside. Or to go around for our prearranged Friday evenings. Sometimes though, like now, I was gripped by a desire to kiss her. I knew I never could and it just left me lost for words and a burning awkwardness in my trousers.

Elaine took a seat, crossing those fantastic, smooth thighs and looked at me. I knew she saw my eyes lose the battle not to look. And that she could see my redness. It just made me even redder.

"Do I make you feel uncomfortable?" She asked.

I swear my heart stopped for a moment. How did I answer that?

"A little. But not in a bad way."

"In what way?"

I was shaking. Her eyes were boring into me.

"I...

It's just that ... you're ..."

She saved me from my incoherent rambling.

"It's okay.

You shouldn't feel bad about it. It's normal at your age to have a crush."

"I'm sorry. I can't help how I feel."

"Don't be. It's a little flattering if I'm honest. I don't mind."

"You don't?"

"No.

It'll pass when you meet someone your own age. That doesn't mean we can't be friends.

And I can help you. Talking to me will get you used to girls. I can give you advice if you like? When you meet someone."

I looked at that lovely face. Even when not made up it was perfect. Ageless. I didn't want to meet someone. I had. I just couldn't ever tell her.

"Thank you. It's good to have a friend like you."

"So, tell me about the girls you do know."

"There isn't any really.

Shelia's the main one. She goes out with my friend Craig. I think."

"You think?"

"Can never be sure. She's ... a bit of a bike. Half the school has ridden her so I doubt she'll be with him long."

Elaine was laughing.

"Is it all true? People get a reputation for just talking. Look at what your Dad thinks of me. The wanton hussy corrupting his only son."

"I think in Shelia's case it's true. The first night they met at our end-of-year disco she shagged him up an alley. I was lookout while they did it."

"Ha.

Not for you then."

"No way."

"Was she the one at the fair?"

"Yeah. Her and Craig."

"I only saw them from a distance.

Anyone else? Anyone at work?"

"No. They're all older. Not pretty older like you, unfortunately. More Hilda Ogden old."

Her face glowed as she fought not to laugh."

"You think I'm pretty?"

I knew I was red. I knew she could see how awkwardly I was sitting. For someone who didn't mean to make me feel uncomfortable, she was managing it extremely well.

"Sorry." She said.

"I didn't mean to..."

For a moment she looked right through me. Then the conversation turned on its head.

"Ever been abroad?"

"France when I was fourteen. Some little place near Calais. Wissant. Had a nice beach."

"I've never been abroad."

That surprised me. I saw her as sophisticated and modern. I imagined her on package holidays to Spain.

"Wasn't the done thing when I was growing up in the sixties unless you were rich. When I got married all our money went into paying for this."

She held her hands out to encompass the house.

"Where would you go if you could?"

"Italy.

I want to see the Leaning Tower. And Rome. The Trevi fountain.

Audrey Hepburn lived there in the sixties."

By the time I went home, I was relaxed, lost in an imaginary world of travelling in Europe and living like a movie star. Elaine dressed as Audrey Hepburn on the back of a Vespa with me.

It wasn't until I put my head down that the earlier part of the conversation came back to me in a rush of confusion. I cursed myself for not telling her how much I liked her. But then would she have thrown me out?

People talk about conflicting signals, giving out all the wrong signs. Or was it me being over-sensitive? I just couldn't figure out what was in her head when we talked. Did she see me as just the helpful teenager from next door, or did she have the same fantasies as me?

I rolled on my stomach and pushed a pillow between my legs. Then hugging the other one I pictured myself with Elaine and humped myself silly, rubbing my nob on the material until I came.

"Uhhh."

I lay for a moment with my dick in the sticky mess I'd made as I thought about how nice it would be to touch her thighs. Just the once.

"Crap."

I rolled away realising I'd left an embarrassing stain on the pillowcase no matter how much I wiped it. I shoved it to one side deciding I'd change my bed in the morning and sneak these sheets into the washing machine when Mum was out. It couldn't be that hard to work surely. It filled with water and went around. What more was there to it? I guess I'd find out.

For a moment I thought about Shelia, wondering if she was still open to adding yet another notch to her bedpost. I really felt the need to exorcise my demons before I blurted out something to Elaine that I'd regret and she was the most likely candidate.

I didn't act on my mad idea. In the light of day, I saw everything that was wrong with thinking I could shag Shelia. For one it'd destroy my joint oldest friendship. And for another, I was a virgin with no idea what I was doing. I imagine most of the boys she'd been with were virgins, but everyone else seemed so much more sure of themselves. She'd probably just laugh at me. Either before. Or worse, during.

Of course, there was another option. The one my dad would advocate. Cutting myself off from the cause of my unrequited love. But then I might as well cut my dick off. It would kill me not to see her again.

I resigned myself to my agony.

Teenagers were invented in the nineteen fifties. Before that kids went from being children to working in the factories overnight. My parents had left school at fifteen. My grandparents at fourteen. We were of a generation that didn't see work until sixteen. Eighteen in the case of me and Craig. For Lloyd, it was going to be even longer. And we worked less hours. Not so long ago work was a six day thing. Twelve hours a day Hadn't been uncommon.

Unlike those that went before us, we'd reached the cusp of adulthood with loads of free time. An entire generation bored at home, mostly on heat like stray dogs, and wandering the streets in groups looking for something to pass the time. And that was exactly what I was doing with Lloyd an hour or so after I finished work.

"What do you think Craig is up to?

I haven't seen him all week."

Lloyd grinned.

"He's still knocking off that Shelia bird.

Can't blame him for that. I'd have a go on it."