All Comments on 'The New Neighbour'

Please get an editor. Your English is all over the place.

The plot is deeply unlikely,t oo. Even fantasy should be at least slightly believable.

Oh my God, what a read! I got insanely horny reading this, loved it!

Oh jeez, not another potential cuck story. His slut wife actually cheats on her husband without her having discussed things with her husband. It just happens to be with another woman instead of a man. How is this not cheating?

Then the new neighbour teases that she's going to arrange an actual BBC to come over some time and fuck his wife in front of him. Plus her, of course. I mean, his slut wife is already getting fucked by the big, black, dildo harness worn by the neighbour. The only way Dave is going to enjoy all this is as a CUCK.

Mafen, sorry mush but l believe it. Thanks Louise, loved it.

As Mafen has said you do need an editor but it’s no good saying that and not saying why. As for him saying fantasy has to be slightly believable that’s what fantasy is. Unbelievable. Not an everyday occurrence. Something stretching your belief and enchanting your mind.

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Lots of cleaning up to be done in various areas but there is one glaring fault which runs all the way through. Despite that people still give a good score. Which means your actual storytelling is okay.

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You need to sort out your dialogue punctuation. Read that story of mine again just looking at the dialogue. You’re smart enough to see what I mean.

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Having said all that I enjoyed the story as, obviously, have many others. 👍

What a delicious and fun story. It took me three attempts to finish the story because twice your scintillating description of snowballing made it necessary to get up from my desk and take a pleasure break. Your writing draws the reader right into the beautiful thick of edgy erotics. Lovely work.