All Comments on 'The Next Stage of Development Ch. 01'

Cut off the last page, slap a part one in the title and resubmit please. That ending felt very forced. Try again please.

No concern for their welfare? Without a very special diet, never ending pregnancy will kill these women at a young age. What about his sister and Ex? Never looking back is a real %*&^ thing to do for those two in particular. I am certain some kind of agency would make the connection and start looking for the hairless man to lock up and study.

I read for the enjoyment and do not critique the story unless itsdumb- wish I had this ability. I had to rely on a great voice and build to entice women into my bed

The ending was rushed. I agree with the other poster, cut the end off and retitle it chapter 1, then follow it up with another chapter for the ending, or more. Good idea just feels rushed at the end.

Definitely need to fix the ending, it felt very rushed. Also, I think you might want to read up on Australia. Gone are the days of riding around in kangaroo pouches and there are certainly no tribes in the desert! Australia isn't Africa

Thank you all for taking the time to provide me some feedback on the story. I am sorry about the ending. At the time I felt it was a good way to sum up what happened afterwards but I didn't realize that I had last a few things loose ata the end. I am going to start rewriting it into a multiple part story (coming soon).

I think it would be interesting to see this become a series. To have him maybe at one point run in to a women they change just like him or maybe even more interesting another race changed her to stop him. Also the forever pregnant thing yea that just sound like a real pain maybe it stays in there till they are pregnant or maybe it make her un able to carry the seed of another man.

This story was edited after first published, wasn't it? I remember a different ending where the women all became pregnant (permanently) because the sperm survived in them for the rest of their lives. Still a good story, but i think i liked the first edit better...

Yes, I did listen to some sound advice from other readers that the ending was far too abrupt. I agree. It was and so I edited the ending to this story and I am currently working on chapter 2. More fun to come!

Having read another of your stories, I stumbled upon

this one and I found out that I really like mind control

stories. To have that kind of power would be an

extreme gift to say the least. Can't wait for your next

installment of this story.

this is an amazing story. if only i had mind control. I would like to read the first unedited ending. Where would i find that?

But i assume one of the Upgrades would be Impregnating the Women he has sex with No Matter the fact they are on Birth Control.

This is a GOOD piece of art. I only hope and pray there will be much more story to come and continue more. Thank you for your story.

When you make a character with unlimited super powers you lose drama. There is only so much fucking that a reader can take before it gets dull. Now it's dull.

Conflict, internal or external, is necessary for drama and interest. The first half wasn't bad but the second half of this story was awful. Too bad really.

i just wanted alexander to have sex with his mother

Dick! That is all he is now.

Wanted him to impregnate his mom and have some cum inflation but overall very good.