The Now Former Lady Deveroux Ch. 06

"None of which I feel moved by God to consider," Pullwater casts away her rejection like it was entirely untenable. She shakes her head, allowing her face to put on the soft seriousness of a tired, old woman who knew the answer, clear as day. "My dear, I am quite old to take upon the role of Mother Superior, much less to raise Judith as I did with Annette. I should like to spend my remaining time ensuring this convent is run by those who would treat the twice-born with nothing but respect-,"

-- -- -- 

Samantha stoked a hand through Esther's hair, enjoying the way her head rose and fell while nestled against her chest. The frenzy seemed to have departed from her, for now, replaced by an inescapable need to be held sweetly for as long as could be. Samantha was quite content to allow her the pleasure, allowing her fingers to tug at the soft curls in her hair while her other hand gently rubbed across her back. 

"You did so well, my dear," Samantha cooed, placing a kiss on Esther's head for what felt like an uncountable number of times. 

"I truly did not think it possible," Esther released a long, wondrous breath. "Three? In an hour? I think I'm in love." Her head tucked tighter into Samantha's chest, until Esther suddenly sat up with a nervous fright in her expression. "Oh, God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-,"

Samantha hardly moved, keeping her hands resting on the woman's naked body. She smiled, shaking her head to discourage Esther's anxiety from carrying her any further down its spiral, and with a lightness and ease in her voice she simply said, "Esther Levy, I love you." 

Esther's panic melted into shock. "I'm sorry, did I mishear you?" 

Samantha sat up, speaking and kissing Esther between each word. "I. Love. You." 

Esther was beaming, giddy like she was in a dream. She looked away, "You don't believe in-,"

"It seems we both bring out unexpected things in one another," Samantha allowed herself to fall back to the ground and tucked her hands behind her head. She noted the way that Esther's eyes flicked down to her exposed chest for a moment before meeting her gaze once again. 

"Samantha..." Esther breathes out, her voice filled with something incredible. "I... obviously I love you." 

"Obviously?" Samantha cocked her head to the side. 

"Yes, obviously," Esther dropped down to kiss her. 

"And this isn't just your 'I love the spark of God in all people?'"

Esther shook her head. "No. I love you. Not the spark. You." 

-- -- -- 

"-and who could be there for Judith," Pullwater completes. 

It takes Samantha a moment to find her words once more, sorting through the complicated array of emotions battling for control of her breath. "And you believe it should be me?" Samantha raises an eyebrow, incredulous. 

"God has a sense of humor," the nun shrugs. 

"That, He does." 

Pullwater's brows lower, staring her down seriously once more. "Would you consider it?" 

Samantha takes a long inhale, then releases it slowly. "I... I'm not sure. It would be a significant change." 

"Well, Father Billings speaks highly of you, and I have an unusual optimism about it. I think you should give it real thought." She picks up some of the papers strew about her desk and shuffles them into a neat pile, setting it down in the corner. "Give it some reflection. Pray a little. Speak with Father Billings." 

"I believe I would be most curious to hear Esther's thoughts," Samantha tells her, unsure of what Esther would think. It's difficult to imagine she'd believe her at all. 

"I'm sure she'd be delighted," Pullwater affirms. "I'd ask you not to mention it to the other Sisters, and especially not in front of any of the children. I should not like to get their hopes up and then disappoint them." 

Samantha nods, pursing her lips together. She sits in the chair in silence, amazed that her world had taken such a turn in such a short amount of time. This season last year, she would have been preparing for a summer of endless parties and galas, prepared for the endless enjoyment of courting season gossip. Now...? She drops her shoulders in disbelief. "Is Sister Levy around? I'd like to ask her first." 

"I believe she was in her room last I saw her." 

Samantha stands, preparing for what was surely going to be a surprising conversation. "Thank you, Sister Pullwater." 

"Do consider it, Miss Deveroux," the Mother Superior replies in place of a farewell. 

She exits the room and closes the door carefully behind herself, stopping in place to wonder at the events unfolding before her. It's a short walk down the hall and around a corner to Esther's room, the furthest from the stairs, as was typical for the newest entry into the convent. She approaches quietly despite the fact she knew the rest of the Sisters were either downstairs with the children or out on the town. 

Esther answers quickly, and Samantha is amused to see how flustered she appears. The nun is not only caught off guard, she nearly looks caught in the act, and she has to quickly adjust her head covering to ensure it was properly in place. "Samantha," her breath exits her with haste. 

"I was coming to speak with you," Samantha replies. And more quietly, "Thinking of me?" 

"Midday prayer," Esther swallows. 

"I'm sure," she grins, stepping beside her to enter the room. She gazes once again across the small cell that was Esther's residence, now wondering what it would be like if this was her own room. There's little else but a twin bed, dresser, and curtained window. "Would you be interested in taking a walk with-,"

Samantha turns around to see Esther kneeling in place, the door shut tightly behind her. Her head is bowed reverently, and she's pulled up her skirt far enough to reveal the leather collar around her thigh. "I did not have the opportunity to serve you last night, Mistress," she squeaks. 

"How cruel of me to deny the chance," Samantha says, amused. An increasingly small part of her mind wonders if she should interrupt the moment to speak about the pressing matter at hand, but the adorable blush across Esther's cheeks quickly squashes the idea. "Should we reschedule midday prayers at my house, dear?" 

Esther looks up, her eyes full of need and loyalty. "I can't wait that long." 

And just as Esther finds Samantha difficult to resist, Samantha could hardly deny the ways Esther's obedient smile made her feel. She finds herself sitting on the bed and leaning back, grabbing Esther's chin with her hand and replying. "I'll need to be quiet then." She stares deep into the girl's loving eyes, blessed with the holiness of her touch, and pulls up her skirt. "Come, drink from the living waters."