All Comments on 'The Old Toothbrush Pt. 03'

Stop publishing your crap, its only boring!!

First we have a typical brits story about a cuckold.Then some pseudo-philosophical talk.without rhyme or reason 1*

Kind of stupid stuff is this?

Nonsensical outpouring from a raving lunatic.

Did you bother to proof read this garbage? A simply awful read.

Could it be followed easily..no. But it was so different. Different culture. Different world view. Different values. Biggest problem is that you asked people to THINK. You is gonna go to hell for that one. I loved the difference. Thank you so much. Wieliczka

Dear Anon,

Thanks for your views.

I know, thinking in this forum is a strict no-no. Still, one must have someone who can be thrashed around for some innocent fun.

Love.

Are the dancing, the shum shum shum of zooming the camera on the faces of the caracterrs multiple times, the suspans music and at the end to both find out that they are brothers and sisters after he being her father by fucking her grandma...to be a bollywood telenovel...you tried to say sometthing. You had an idea a good one. But the writing..god that writing..and jumping all over the place. I simply couldnt follow it. It may be my iq lower, but also everyone elses? Learn to write proper sentences,so the story will flow easiear. If you di that and rerwite this story it will be better apreaciated. Keep trying. Dont give up. Also to much psihobable and martyrdom in it. No man or woman will react like this. The best stories are the ones closer to reality, in wich the readear can identify himself. There are few on this site that their storues acomplish that. Most for exaple stangstar.. fall in the cliche husband is a saint wife a douchebag or viceversa. Their are no saints. Write realistic, dont go in to science fiction. Nuff' said. PS.Read blackrandl georgeanderson and jpb to see how its done.

Keep writing until you find your audience.

I will not rate your story because I could not bear the time and effort to understand it, or at least try.

I did find it curious that the wife suddenly had the discipline, the devotion, and strength, and the determination, to exert herself, to the point of self destruction, to express her sorrow and remorse, and win her husband's heart back. Yet she didn't use those same character traits to keep from fucking another man, apparently for months, while her husband was away earning the money to keep her and their child well cared for. Which is the real Suhas?

Again, thank you for your effort. You have a very interesting if obscure talent and imagination.

Sucks just get to it Do they reconnect or Not. what became of Adi. The Rest is B.S.

Why this chapter was so small I didn't know ...this story needed more of this persuasive ending,in second chapter what u wanted to show by narratting the clothes sewing story it is understandable but is not giving a feel.