The Other Side of the Fence

"Oh...okay." I said trying not to sound too dejected, "Thanks for letting me know."

I noticed he exhaled a bit as if relieved with my reaction then said, "Sure Cadence. See you around."

Needless to say my brief reprieve from depression ended right there. Karla hugged me when I told her what had happened and said, "I'll get somebody to kneecap him for you if you want me to."

I just smiled a sad smile and rolled my eyes at her saying, "Don't worry about it. I probably deserved it anyway for how I did Dan."

She immediately hugged me again and said, "That's not true hon. We're young you know. We're allowed a few mistakes. Besides, several other cute guys were sniffing around the same time Aaron was, so just date one of them."

There was a flaw in Karla's logic, all those boys that had been flirting with me after the break up suddenly seemed to make themselves scarce. It was as if I'd suddenly become a leper and none of them wanted anything to do with me.

I didn't think my world could sink any lower coming out of the weekend. I made the mistake of waking up and going to school Monday morning. There, I suddenly found I couldn't possibly have been more wrong.

I'd just made it to my locker when Amy, one of the two girls that had convinced me I was doing a disservice to myself by tying myself down to one guy, walked up to my locker.

"I saw Dan in town Saturday night."

Quickly losing interest in the contents of my locker I looked at her and questioned, "Where?"

"He was coming out of Barney's."

Barney's was the local steakhouse. I noticed Amy pause and look down at her hands which she'd kind of clasped together. She was normally a very confident and sure person so her somewhat timid behavior befuddled me.

"Is he back in town to stay?" I asked somewhat hopefully.

Amy shook her head still not looking at me.

"I didn't speak to him, I just saw him. Kathy Nailors was waiting tables that night and she waited on them. She said that he was just in town for the weekend to see his folks."

Amy still hadn't looked up at me but I shook off her puzzling behavior and asked, "So he was with his parents?"

"No, they weren't there." she said shaking her head, then adding almost in a whisper, "He was there with some girl."

I felt like I'd been gut-punched. My heart raced and I suddenly felt like I might throw up.

"Who was she?" I asked though, in all truth, I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

Amy shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't know, I'd never seen her before." she said then added, "Kathy said he introduced her as Kelly, but she'd never seen her before either."

"What did she look like?" I asked.

Amy again looked down at her hands. "She was blond. Kind of tall with a runners or swimmers build."

Then she drove the knife further into my heart by adding, "She was pretty. She was also older than us too."

Swallowing my pride while at the same time trying not to heave the contents of my stomach I asked, "What makes you think that."

Amy finally stopped fidgeting with her hands and looked up at me, "Kathy said she was old enough to order a beer. She couldn't have been much older than twenty-one or twenty-two though if I had to guess."

The bell rang so I thanked Amy and we headed off to our homerooms in different directions. I had a chemistry class with Kathy this afternoon and I was already formulating what questions I wanted to ask her.

After lunch, I hurried to my chem class hoping to catch Kathy before the bell. I got to the class right as she was approaching from the opposite direction.

"Hey Cadence, somehow I thought you'd want to talk to me today," Kathy said with a bit of a smirk.

Resisting the urge to slap the self-righteous half-smile off her face I replied, "Hey Kathy, I know we don't have time now but do you think we could talk after school?"

"No can do," she said before adding, "My mom needs to borrow my car after school since hers is in the shop."

I handed her my phone. "Could I have your number? Maybe I can pick your brain over the phone."

She stared at me as if she was considering whether I was worth troubling over before shrugging and entering her digits and hitting the send button. Immediately I heard the sound of her phone buzzing.

She took her phone out and ended the call and said, "You've got it and you can call if you want. I probably don't know much more than what I told Amy though."

I thanked her and told her I'd call anyway. I explained I just wanted to hear her impressions of what she saw first hand.

She just shrugged and said, "Sure."

After school, I gave Kathy time to get home and called her cell number. She answered on the third ring. I first asked her if she thought she'd ever seen the girl before but she was sure she hadn't. I told her Amy said she thought she could be twenty-one or twenty-two. She told me she carded her before bringing her the beer she ordered and according to her license, she'd just turned twenty one a couple of weeks ago. I then asked her the question I was apprehensive about, did it look like they were there together as friends or was it a date. Her answer didn't bring me much comfort. She said she couldn't say for sure. They didn't show much in the way of PDA's but there was a lot of eye contact and they seemed to be having an intimate conversation. She added that the girl did step out onto the patio to smoke a cigarette at one point and when she did, Dan went and sat with her. That threw me because Dan despised smokers and normally wouldn't be within twenty yards of one.

Adding that to everything else I'd heard I was forced to come to the heartbreaking conclusion that he was moving on from me.

We'd reached the end of May and I still found myself a pariah as far as boys went. I was persona non grata as far as the entire male population of my school was concerned.

Standing there with his arm around Karla, her boyfriend Alan just shrugged his shoulders and joked, "I don't know what's up with the losers around here Cadence. I'd bang you if Karla would let me."

After watching his girlfriend punch him in the arm I offered a grin and rolled my eyes saying, "Thanks Alan, you're a prince."

Being the typical teenage boy and lacking any real degree of tact though he had to carry it one step too far.

"Of course if you hadn't dumped my boy Dan you wouldn't need me to."

I knew he was joking but it still hurt because it hit home with me. He was right and I knew it.

Of course, Karla, who wore the pants in their relationship, didn't see things the same way. I watched as she grabbed him by the ear and heard her say, "Get over here." as she led him around a corner. I could only imagine the ass-chewing she was giving him. The truth was though, I was the one that needed it.

That first weekend in June I was hanging out with Karla and Alan, being the third wheel on their date, when we saw Dan and his new girl ourselves. We were pulling out of the parking lot of the McDonalds and there they were, coming out of the grocery store. Dan was holding a shopping bag in one hand while she was putting her wallet back in her purse. She then slung it over her shoulder and took his free hand.

I just stared at them while hoping at the same time they didn't see us. The girl wasn't just pretty as Amy and Kathy had described her, she was stunning. Her platinum blond hair was long and wavy and ended at about her shoulder blades. Her breasts were small but the taut, toned and tanned belly showing beneath the midriff shirt she was wearing somehow made them look bigger. She had broad swimmer's shoulders and a graceful looking neck to go along with dancers' legs. Even her arms were toned.

I hated her immediately but also found her very arousing.

"I've lost him for sure," I muttered sadly.

Karla turned to me and reached back to put a hand on my knee. "Now you don't know that hon, but if you want him, it looks as though your going to have to fight for him," she said gently.

"How could I ever compete with her Karla? Just look at her. And why would he ever take me back after what I did to him." I moaned as I fought to hold back tears.

Alan turned and started to say something, then as he bit the inside of his lip seemed to think better of it. Instead, he said, "Do you want me to follow them?"

I shook my head and said, "No, I'm feeling tired. Can you just take me home?"

I collapsed on my bed and broke down in tears the moment I made it into my room. I couldn't believe the mess I'd made of my life. I swore then and there if I got him back I'd never take him for granted again. I'd barely been able to get him off my mind since the breakup. I wouldn't put myself through this again.

Karla called me a couple of hours later. She'd made Alan take her to Dan's house after they dropped me off.

"Alan and I went up to the front door and knocked. Dan opened the door and looked confused when he saw us. He even looked over my shoulder towards the car as if he expected someone else to be there, I'm assuming you. He told us hi and went to step out on the stoop with us as he closed the door. As he did, I caught a glimpse of that Kelly girl sitting there with what appeared to be a big bowl of popcorn in her lap. I guess they'd been watching a movie. He and Alan were just standing there shooting the shit when I piped up and asked him if he was going to bother calling you while he was back in town," she told me.

"What'd he say?" I asked unsure if I wanted to hear her answer.

There was silence on the line for what seemed like minutes but couldn't have been more than several seconds before Karla reluctantly replied, "He said the last time he talked to you he told you he was in love with you and your response was to break up with him less than an hour later. He said that he wasn't going to hang around here in purgatory waiting on you to decide he was worthy of being loved. That he had to keep living because he owed himself that. I'm sorry hon. I tried."

"S'alright" I managed to mutter while tears flowed and my head pounded. "Did it seem as though that girl was staying there?"

"I guess." Karla responded, "The only three cars there were Dan's and his parents."

"He sure did get over me quick," I stated through my near sobs."If his parents like her enough to let her stay with him that means they've accepted it too. I blew it, Karla."

We said our goodbyes and I once again cried myself to sleep.

School finally ended and we all walked and received our diplomas. The one person I wanted to be there to witness it wasn't. I assumed he was elsewhere snuggling up to little Miss Perfect.

I skipped the graduation parties and went home deciding I'd finally finish the book I'd been struggling through the last week. I'd earned the full scholarship I'd gone after and was doing some reading on the subject I was planning on majoring in. My parents were out to eat with friends and wouldn't be back till close to eleven.

Around ten the phone rang. I figured it was either my mother checking up on me or Karla calling to try and lift my spirits.

"Hello," I answered

There was no reply.

"Hello," I repeated.

"Congratulations on graduating Cadence," said a familiar voice.

"Dan?" I muttered as if in pain.

**Click** the line suddenly went dead. I stared at the handset in my hand for a moment before setting it back in its cradle. I sat back on the bed and crossed my arms across my chest, holding myself. I'd wondered this morning if he'd be thinking about his former classmates walking to get their diplomas tonight.

"At least I know he was thinking of one of us," I said out loud to myself. The thought of it comforted me a bit and brought a smile to my face.

Over the next couple of weeks, there was no new word on Dan, no sightings, no rumors, nothing. It was hard on me not having anything to go on. Realizing how moody and sullen I was, I seldom left my bedroom. My parents hardly seemed to notice my depression though.

Karla, however, wasn't content to have me sidestepping questions over the phone when she delved into areas I was uncomfortable with. Finally fed up, she showed up at my bedroom door in the last week of June with a determined and purposeful look on her face.

Arms crossed her chest as she exclaimed, "You and I need to talk girl."

Despite knowing there was no realistic way of getting out of it, I still tried, "Do we have to?"

"You bet your ass we do," she muttered in hushed tones as to keep my parents from overhearing as she stepped into my room.

I shut the door behind her and then turned on the radio just loud enough to prevent any potential prying ears in the hallway. We sat down on my bed and I said, "Okay, let me have it."

"You start school in the fall and there's no way I'm going to let you spend the entire summer between high school and college hiding in your bedroom moaning over some boy." Karla fired off.

She then continued, "Starting tomorrow you're getting out of this room and we're going to start having some fun. At least until you head off on your family vacation."

I simply sighed in reply.

"Cadence, I'll just say I know Dan is special to you. Maybe more so than even you realize right now. You can't hide away in your room until you leave for college though. You have to keep moving forward. You have to keep living your life," She explained.

Her words regarding my feelings confused me but I let them go and instead chose to argue,

"Look, Karla, I don't know what you're expecting me to do. I can't get him out of my head. That or the thought of him with his blond companion, it nauseates me when I think about them together."

"I know it does Hon," she replied, "that's why you must let me distract you with a good time. Alan has a summer job. He's working to save money for school so I have all this free time to kill."

Karla came from a wealthy family in which she was an only child. Her financial concerns regarding her continued education were nil.

I gave her a smile that let her know I appreciated her concern for me.

"How are you going to manage that? Its obvious no one is interested in dating me and even if they were I'm no longer interested in doing it. I was worried I was settling for Dan and was too busy being enamored by that green looking grass on the other side of the fence. Instead, I found out all that green was a mirage and no matter how bad I want it, I can't find my way back to the other side."

Karla relented to my point, "Okay, maybe we can't do anything about your relationship status. That doesn't mean I have to let you sit here and drown in your misery all summer. We can go shopping. We can go to the beach, There are parties nearly every weekend of the summer. Hell, we can even go volunteer at the local food pantry. My Mom always says there's nothing better to give you perspective when you're down than serving people that have it worse than you."

"Okay, okay, you win" I said while forcing a smile.

I knew she was right. What I was doing to myself was neither productive or healthy. I wasn't sleeping well and was hardly eating. My weight had dropped to just slightly above ninety pounds. At this rate, I'd be physically ill by summer's end.

That next week we spent a good bit of time at the local mall shopping and just spending time together. We also spent a couple of days at the beach working on our tans. That Saturday night we dressed at Karla's house to head to a bonfire being held on someone's land further inland. To take advantage of my tan I wore a pair of very short jean shorts. I paired them with my yellow bikini top. It was outlined in green piping to match my eyes. Over my top, I wore a very sheer swimsuit cover with only the bottom three buttons clasped. I thought I looked about as good as I possibly could, not that anyone around here seemed to care.

The bonfire started shortly after dark though Karla and I didn't arrive until almost an hour and a half afterward. There was a keg and a table full of different kinds of liquor to go along with the obligatory stacks of red solo cups. Though I wasn't much of a drinker, I gave in to Karla's encouragement to let loose and poured myself a half cup of vodka. I planned to just sip at it as the evening went on.

The best-laid plans of mice and men as the saying goes, or in this case women. After about an hour of actually enjoying myself while sitting on the tailgate of Alan's truck and chatting with friends, I looked across and to the left of the fire and felt my heart crawl up into my throat.

There stood Dan looking right at me.

Karla noticed my eyes and the look on my face. She followed my gaze and saw who I was staring at.

"What are you waiting on," Karla asked me, "go talk to him."

"Because I'm afraid he hates me," I replied, "and besides" I said looking her in the face with pain in my eyes, "it appears he has company."

Karla turned to look back at Dan in time to see Kelly walking up to hand him a red cup.

"Fuck," I heard her say under her breath as I quickly downed the remainder of my vodka in a couple of gulps.

I made my way back to the makeshift bar. My plans to take things easy and just sip at my alcohol were quickly forgotten.

I refilled my cup this time nearly to the top before taking a couple of nice gulps then refilling it again.

"Easy there Cadence, you're a bit of a lightweight to be hitting the hard stuff like that," I heard Alan's voice behind me.

"Why would I want to stay sober?" I retorted. "I mean I threw away the one thing in my life that meant something to me. He moves away and won't speak to me yet shows up periodically in my life in the company of the beautiful woman he replaced me with. Sounds like as good a reason to get hammered as I can think of."

My tantrum done, I stomped off leaving him standing there looking stunned.

Within an hour I was, for the first time in my life, quite inebriated. Karla had taken to babysitting me to make sure I didn't do anything too stupid like falling in the fire or removing any of my clothes. I do vaguely remember spotting Alan having an animated conversation with Dan while Kelly looked on. I remember focusing on her and thinking once again how hot she was.

I was distracted by a log collapsing into the fire and when I next looked I couldn't see Alan. I could just see Dan as he closed Kelly's door on the passenger side of his car. He then gave me one last look as he circled behind the car. I thought I registered a look of disappointment in his eyes as he got in his car, cranked it, and drove away.

The look on his face and watching him leave with her made my stomach wretch. I turned and ran several feet just beyond the front of Alan's truck and emptied the contents of my stomach into the darkness.

Shortly after that, Alan reappeared and after a brief conversation with Karla, they managed to get me into his truck to take us home.

Later that week I got the chance to ask Alan what Dan had been doing at the party. He assured me he didn't know. I asked what Dan had said when they'd talked. Curiously he assured me he had never spoken to Dan that night.

The Saturday before I'd leave to head on my family's annual vacation, Karla and I headed to the mall so I could look at new bathing suits. As we were headed into the mall's main entrance we came face to face with Dan and Kelly. They were holding hands and laughing over something when they noticed us. Everyone just seemed to freeze in their tracks.

"Cadence, Karla," said Dan.

"Hey Dan," replied Karla somewhat uncomfortably.

I said nothing. I'm not sure I could have if I'd known what to say. I just stared at him, while he stared right back.

Behind him, Kelly cleared her throat snapping Dan out of his trance.

"I'm sorry, this is Kelly. Kelly this is Cadence and Karla."

"Nice to meet ..." I heard Kelly start to say but I was already walking away.