by ShyVixen33
Personally I thought it was...beautiful...
If you don't like the writers style don't read it. If you can't leave constructive criticism then don't leave anything at all.
Really like it so far, two people who are finding each other!!
...from someone wanting their first love's first unforced experience to be a positive, sexy time. What is wrong with that?? Great writing, thanks.
I am "astonished" at new meaning junk writing has just taken on. Oh wait, that's "junk writing," isn't it? Apparently it's a lovely story line, that's well thought out, and quite well written. And here I was thinking it was stories full of "u" and "ur" and "me 2"... Wonderful story, keep on writing!
but I thought the ending was abrupt. A little too abrupt. If there were a few phrases at the end to indicate a continuation to another chapter, I would accept that without a problem; it's just that everything was going along fine in the bedroom- then it stopped. I liked your descriptions- they put me there, whether it was the park or the bedroom and I was really getting to see the love scene. You worked slowly, getting them to meet and getting them to the love scene. I liked that very much. Please keep writing.
If this is Chpter1, I can't wait to read the following chapters. It's sweet, and sexy, and honest. Well done
Traveller
I have to say for your first submission this story is a wonderful start. Please do keep up the good work.
from a beautiful author. For your first attempt this chapter was a well written romantic tale. Yes, I want more. Thanks for a nicely done story. ML
A very excellent start with this story. Loved the way the story flowed and the passion in the bedroom scene was very well done. This story reminds me of a girl I knew back in high school. What great memories I still have of her. Thanks for your story. RCG
Now for more of the Way two Lovers come together and how it goes when her son comes back.
A great start to what looks to be an amazing and emotionally powerful story. I look forward to reading the next chapter.
I really liked the time and effort you put into the characters and the set up of the story. The intimacy between them is so tender and sweet. The bedroom scene is hot! I'm glad there is another chapter to read!