All Comments on 'The Panther'

Unfortunately, not much of a story. I appreciate that there are people out there who are turned on by detailed descriptions of sex, I bet they'll enjoy this immensely. I need more. I need something to really happen that stretches your characters', and my, emotions.

I'd give this 5 stars for the writing, but only 2 for the story. As the story is, to me, more important than the writing, I can only stretch to 3. Sorry.

Please try again.

...the act of washing oneself (often used for humorously formal effect).

Moral; don't us a $10 word when a $1 one will do.

Panther? No...Just two cheaters! the poem was an excuse...1*

But both ended up divorced

Convoluted train wreck.

1 star

My god! Where have you been? This piece is absolutely the best I have ever encountered in this vast sea of motley, mediocre authors and their pitiful prose (there are a couple of exceptions, of course). Rarely have I read such well-formed sentences in Loving Wives; found such good copy-editing; enjoyed such adult vocabulary with words that are perfect for their effect. Congratulations, Benultimo. Plus, you have created interesting, mature, characters. I'm determined to read your other contributions.

I could not help but wonder if in addition to Rilke you were touched by Poe’s “Helen.”

There were a few questionable points, from a proof-reader’s pov:

“When we stood close together under the shower, I told her that I had form with sexy women in baths and showers”

“I nipped my way, none to gently” [too]

“while my hands freely over her back,” [needs a verb]

It was enough for me to discovered that I liked her clean tangy taste [present tense]

I would find out that Helen, unlike I, loved the phone. [unlike, a preposition, requires “me.” Helen is the subject of. loved]

Five stars at the least.

Like two dogs meeting in an alley, they wanted to fuck, so they did. You really think the reasons matter? Helen was a whore who finally came out of the closet. She also had contempt and disrespect for her husband, who she kept only for material financial reasons. Helen uses people, and will one day pay an enormous price, and the sooner the better.

As to the cheating asshole, lets hope he suffers equally as Helen.

But I ask you- married twelve years to a German and her ability to speak the language is so poor? German is the closest language to English. Two years of classes and a few years dating a woman who spoke it and I was quite proficient. Eighteen months in the Philippines and my Tagalog kept me from getting lost.

Katib,

Think you need to lay off the drugs.

This story was nearly unreadable. Bizarre use of the English language. Totally disorganized. As someone else noted, a train wreck!

Another attempt to glorify an oathbreaking cheat.

Benultimo has some writing talent. It would be a good idea if it was used on a different subject.

AMerryman