All Comments on 'The Park'

This story, as well as your others, was difficult to read. After a couple of paragraphs with the others, I didn't bother.

Proper punctuation--along with grammar and spelling--shows that the author respects his readers enough to want to make it easier for them to read his work. And that he respects his work enough to want to help the reader to understand it. You should try it.

What do I think of the story? Mostly boring. Your characters show little personality and the plot shows little of interest. All that's left is the rather humdrum description of the sex act.

For the mechanics, I suggest working with a volunteer editor, available on this site, and learning from the corrections that they may recommend. As for the story elements, the only thing I might suggest is to read a lot of stories, make a list of the ones you found outstanding, and then try to analyze what made them so. Then try to use those as a guideline in your future writings.

You have an amazing talent but it is totally overshadowed by all of grammatical and spelling errors. I also feel like the story would flow better and be alot more effective if you extracted the dialogue of the characters from the major paragraphs and put them in their own individual paragraphs especially sense it's written in narrative form. This constructive observation applies to all of your stories that I have read. I think you could be really great at this if you had good editor.

P.S.- I really like the black romance aspect of your stories. I don't get to read many of those on this site. I think it should be a catagory by itself, what do you think?