The Payback

"Really? You would do something to help her? It won't be easy or comfortable. I am in the middle and I really don't want to be. You're a nice guy and I like you but this is something that Debby should discuss with you. But she can't and won't. She made me promise to ask you."

"Sorry, Tara, I am losing you. What does she want?"

"It's embarrassing to explain." Tara paused and took a big gulp of tea. Apparently, her therapist thinks she can expel the demons by re-living the scene."

"What? She wants me to rape her again? Never. I can't do that." Ron stared at Tara. "How can she expect that from me?"

Tara put her hand over Rob's. "You don't understand. Debby will be the aggressor and you will be the victim."

"What does that mean? She would rape me?" Ron raised his voice in disbelief.

"Debby didn't think you would do it. I can't blame you and I told her that it was a lot to expect of a guy. But she had some suggestions."

"Tara, I am so sorry you are in the middle of this. I want to help Debby but how can she expect to... to use me like that? I don't understand."

"I am so sorry to be in the middle of this. I just wanted to help you both. It is a lot to expect from a guy even if he wants to help." Tara and Rob took big sips of tea in silence.

"What suggestions did she have? Did she have other ideas?"

"Not really that different. She wanted you to dress like a woman just as she had done and you would be like Debby ready for her date and she would act like the boy and do what he did to her. She needs you in a dress and makeup to look like her. Female anyway."

"I have to dress like a woman? What a stupid idea? How can she expect any guy to do that and agree to be .. What's the word? Raped?" Rob looked at Tara. "I should have brought something stronger to hear this. Can I have a shot of that Tequila to clear my throat and brain?"

Tara got up silently and went to the adjoining room and came back with a bottle and two wine glasses. "Sorry, I don't have the right glasses and I think I need one too. They took two big gulps of the strong liquor.

"Rob, don't worry. It is asking a lot of any guy to do that. She says she has thought a lot about it but never met any boy she liked enough. She will find someone else. I told her to hire a pro but she didn't like that idea at all. What pro would dress like that and agree to be taken so roughly? I even suggested she could find a girl who would do it for money. Debby said it had to be a role reversal and that no girl would do."

"I am not sure what I can say to Debby if she meets for lunch tomorrow," Rob said. "I better go before I get drunk,

"Well, you could always use my couch but it is small. Tomorrow is a working day too. Rob, don't worry. I don't think Debby will bring the subject up with you. As you said, she doesn't talk much anyway. "

"It may be embarrassing to meet her tomorrow. I'll skip lunch."

"Please don't do that. It is Debby who should be embarrassed. I am sure she will ask me if I have talked to you. I will tell her that it's not something you can do. Don't worry." Tara hugged him and kissed him on the cheek dangerously close to his mouth. It didn't take long for their mouths to meet and a deep kiss followed.

"This makes it easier to say no," Rob said. "Hope you didn't mind the kiss."

Tara looked at him. "I wanted that kiss badly. I have to thank Debby for introducing us." She gave Rob another lingering kiss.

Rob left happy but also guilty. He was happy to have found a kindred spirit in Tara. He felt guilty he couldn't help Debby. He would try to think of ways he could help her without being used. He had a fitful night of how he was going to react to Debby. Even if she didn't bring up the subject, she would know that he didn't want to help. However outrageous her solution was, he couldn't do it. He didn't think any reasonable man would agree. It was indeed terrible what her ex-boyfriend had done. It would stay with her for a long time if not the rest of her life. Still, that kiss with Tara made Debby's problem her own. There was no way he could help.

He was hoping to talk to Tara the next day and dreamed of all the things he would do with her. It had only been one evening and two lingering kisses but he felt his life had changed. He hoped very much that Tara felt that way too. He was anxious to know if Tara had conveyed his answer to Debby. He would meet her at lunch and find a way to meet her tonight. He sent her a text message mid=-morning.

Rob sat at lunch in his usual spot. He saw Debby but there was no sign of Tara yet. As normal, Debby brought her lunch to his table and they exchanged a brief hello. Rob decided to ignore the question of yesterday and act as normal as possible. He asked how Debby was. 'OK' was the terse reply. To all his attempts to start a conversation, Debby's answers were in monosyllables. In between bites, she continued her penetrating gaze. Rob couldn't look her in the face for long. He assumed Debby was wondering if Tara had reached him and explained what was needed.

Still staring at me with hose blue-grey eyes, Debby rose with her tray. "Talk to Tara please and let me know," she said and walked away. Rob breathed a huge sigh of relief and sent a short SMS to Tara that he had to meet her later discreetly. Debby's voice was soft and tore at him. She looked and sounded desperate.

Tara replied a little later that she had been in meetings all morning. She would inform Debby that she and Rob would be meeting later. He should come around 6.30 and she would order pizza. Rob was looking forward to see Tara and pushed Debby into the background. It had been just one day but he still remembered the kiss and Tara's tongue in his mouth. He had enjoyed it.

Tara greeted Rob with a hug and a kiss on the lips. It was brief unlike the kiss last night. "I ordered a pizza and will be here shortly," Tara said and poured out a glass of wine. "I stopped at the store and got a bottle of wine. I never drink alone."

They sat at the kitchen table eating pizza. Rob was on his second glass of wine feeling happy to be alone with Tara, eating pizza and drinking wine. Tara was looking at Rob in a new way. She too was enjoying the easygoing and happy atmosphere.

"Debby called me as I was leaving the office. She said she met you at lunch but you never said anything," Tara mentioned looking at Rob.

"Yes, she was staring at me through lunch. I guess she was expecting me to say something. I didn't of course. As she left she told me to talk to you."

"Yes, she seems to want an answer from you. Not sure why the rush as it has been some time since the event." Tara took a small sip of wine. She was barely down to half of what she had poured out. "Did you think about it? I know she has was asking a lot."

Rob put down his glass slowly. "Frankly, I was trying hard not to think about it," he replied slowly. "It's a hell of a thing to ask somebody."

"Agree, but you will be seeing her around the office so you have to respond. I think she knows the answer. Why are you even hesitating? You seemed sure of 'No Way' last night."

"You're right. Honestly, I just don't know how to tell her. She seemed so desperate when she asked me at lunchtime, so sad, I felt terrible. What made it worse was what we had done last night as I left." Rob looked at Tara for a reaction.

"You didn't want to kiss me or didn't like it?"

"On the contrary. I liked it a lot and wanted more. So I guess I am feeling guilty to kind of dump her," Rob said softly. "It's a stupid reaction to her idea."

"I feel guilty too for stealing her man. I didn't mean to. It just happened." Tara placed her hand over Rob's. "Sorry, Rob, if you want Debby..." Tara never got the chance to finish as Rob leaned over and pulled her to him and kissed her hard.

"Mum always said that actions speak louder than words," Rob Said releasing her. "Does that answer the question?"

Tara's soft reply was, "Oh yes. What else did your mum say? How would she suggest you solve this?"

Rob stared at Tara. "Mum always said that a friend in need was a friend indeed. But I don't think she ever imagined this scenario." Rob paused. "Did Debby explain what exactly she needed?"

"Not in detail. The Therapist had suggested that she replicate the scene of her.. her rape with herself as the aggressor against a man impersonating her so as to release all pent up anger and frustration."

"What do you think she meant by rape? I don't have the .. the opening if you know what I mean."

"Rob, I don't know. But you do know that many women use such toys to pleasure their female and sometimes even male partners."

"You mean a dildo?"

Tara smiled. "I am sure you are trying to be polite. I think she would use a strap on to simulate a penis."

Rob blushed. He knew the word but had never heard it used especially by a lady. Tara saw the confusion in Rob's face and grasped his hand tighter.

"Rob, I grew up in Hicksville but I do know what a strap on is. You only have one opening and so she'll force it in there. Sorry to be so direct." Tara paused. "Some men apparently enjoy it."

After a longer pause, Rob answered. "I never had reason to think about such things. I am sure it hurts."

Tara smiled. "Interesting answer. Most men would reply 'Never!' You are thinking if it will hurt. It probably would but there are ways to minimize that with preparation." Tara's smile grew broader. "No, I have no experience with it but my college roommate had boyfriends and girlfriends. She would openly tell me how she pleasured other girls. She even had one boyfriend who came over just to be used like that."

Rob sat there silently with a million thoughts racing through his mind. He wanted to assuage his feelings of guilt by helping Debby but he didn't like pain and the thought of what being taken like that meant. More importantly, he had this nascent relationship with Tara and didn't want her to feel that he had such hidden desires.

"I would like to help Debby if nothing else to be rid of the guilt of breaking up with her. Perhaps you can talk to her. Maybe she'll settle for something else."

"I am so happy to see that you want to help her even if her solution is extreme. Says a lot about you. I too feel a little guilty but these things happen. I would also like to help Debby as a person, but I don't fit the role. I am sure she'll call and ask how you reacted. I'll see if she has other ideas." Tara got up and held out her hand. "Let's go to the couch and talk. I can clean up later," Her smile indicated they wouldn't be talking much.

They spent the next half hour kissing and cuddling on the small sofa. It was a fierce meeting of lips, tongue and saliva. Their hands didn't explore the other's body. They were content to let things slowly develop. It was almost 9 pm when Tara's phone rang. Lips still glued to Rob's she looked at the caller ID. It was Debby. She broke the kiss and put her finger to Rob's lips.

"Hi, Debby. All Ok here. Rob is leaving soon and I will call you. OK?" Rob could hear Debby.

"How did he react?"

"As expected. I'll call you back soon." Tara hung up.

Tara looked at Rob. "What are you going to tell her?" Rob asked.

"I don't think she expected a 'Yippee' when we can do it answer. I'll see if there is some other way. Now, where were we? Oh yes, I know." Tara brought her lips to Rob's and their tongues danced.

"If you don't leave now, you'll have to spend the night here. I don't want that till this Debby thing is behind us, I think I need to talk to Debby alone. Can I call you later?"

"Anytime. I agree. Let's get this thing with Debby behind us," Rob said trying to steal another kiss.

"I'll call you," Tara pushed Rob out of the door reluctantly.

Tara called Debby immediately. She picked up on the first ring.

"He said no, didn't he?" Debby said in a slurred voice. Tara thought she may have been drinking.

"Have you been drinking? Debby, stop it now or I'll come over."

"Nobody cares,"

"Debby, stop it and listen." Debby stopped her sniffling. "OK. It is an unusual request but Rob was open to your ideas. He wanted details. What do you want and when should this happen?"

"I told you. The therapist says I should reenact the scene. But this time I would enter the room and find 'her' all dressed up nicely. Just like I was. I can show you a picture of my dress. Then, I should attack him and force him to do things like I experienced."

"So, it's not just a dress..."

"No, if 'she' doesn't look good, the attack would never happen. If I had not looked good, Brad would never have raped me. We had gone out many times before."

"I don't think Rob has ever dressed as a girl before. I never asked him. I guess we can find a nice dress for him. He'll need a wig and some makeup. And shoes, of course:

"Yes, I have some stuff and I would buy it. It'll be cheaper than therapy."

"So how do you plan to .. I mean to attack him? What should he expect?"

Debby paused. "I have a strap on and I'll make him suck it and then thrust it into him." Another pause. "Brad fucked my mouth, cunt and arse. I know she will only have two openings."

"You'll really attack her aggressively?" Tara asked horrified. "It will be painful."

"Well, I was hurt pretty bad as I didn't expect it. The mental hurt lasts longer as you can tell." There was a hard blowing of her nose. Debby then continued. "Forget it, Tara. No reason for Rob to do it. I never kissed him or even blew him. Why should I expect him to help?"

"Look Debby, Rob likes you. He wouldn't have invited you out several times otherwise. He is a nice guy and am sure didn't expect anything in return."

"Don't bother him. I know how to solve this. I have my dad's gun."

"Debby," Tara shouted into the phone. "Don't you dare. Why waste your life on that scumbag? Your parents and friends will be devastated."

"I can't live like this either, Tara. How can a man love me if I don't let him get near me? You don't understand."

"Debby, I never went through what you did. I am sure it was horrible and has left many scars. I think Rob may be willing to help. Are you sure that this is the only solution? Is there any other way?"

Tara heard more sniffles. Debby was either pausing to blow her nose or take another drink. "Yes. There is. I told you. It's quick and will fix everything."

"Debby, now concentrate and listen. I will talk to Rob and see what he thinks. I know he wants to help as do I. Now promise me you'll not do anything stupid and go to bed."

There was a pause with more sniffles. "OK." Then the phone shut off. Tara wondered if she should rush to Debby's apartment. She believed that she had convinced Debby to hold off on any hasty action until the next day at least.

"Rob, hi. I talked to Debby. She was in a bad way. I need to talk to you before lunch. Can you come over early? I'll make you breakfast. Around 7 so we have time. I can drive with you to work perhaps."

"What's the matter with Debby? I'll be there. Try to relax. You sound worried."

"I'll tell you tomorrow. Sleep tight and I'll see you early." Tara tried to sound calm but she was boiling inside. Neither Rob nor she would want to feel responsible if Debby did something stupid. Yet, what Debby wanted was outrageous and she felt uncomfortable to even explain it to Rob.

Rob was there at 7 as promised. After a restless night, Tara had made them scrambled eggs and toast. Coffee was percolating. She gave Rob a big hug and a peck on the lips. She had the toast on and in a few moments, both sat at the table with their breakfast and coffee.

"OK, tell me about Debby," Rob said. "You look worried and I don't think you slept much."

Tara looked at Rob. She hadn't had the time to apply any makeup. She never had much on anyway, just a touch of mascara, blush and lipstick. "This is difficult, Rob. Sorry, but Debby threatened to do kill herself. She has her dad's gun. I told her not to be stupid. But I think she had been drinking, her voice was slurred."

"Oh my God," Rob exclaimed. "I didn't realize she was that desperate. I'm sorry you are in the middle of this." Rob reached out for Tara's hand. "So did she tell you what she wants to do? Any other ideas?"

"Rob, it's terrible what she wants. She says the only way for her to be rid of this desperation and fear of men is to re-live the scene. She is the aggressor and Brad - that was her ex's name - is the victim. It's a kind of revenge act." Tara paused for a sip of coffee. "She wants you all dolled up just like she was. She will even pay for a makeover and a dress and shoes. She wants to find you like that when she knocks on the door." Tara was looking at Rob intensely, her hand tight in Rob's.

"So I need to dress like that. I can pretend it's Halloween, I suppose. Never dressed as a girl before. Just was Superman when I was eight, I think."

"Rob, there's more. When Debby enters the room, she will see you as Brad saw her. Then she will attack you. I think she has or will buy a strap-on and force you to do things like she experienced. She will surely penetrate you back there. It will be rough."

"Oh my God. I can't believe she would want that. I know she went through some stuff like that herself but still."

"It's a terrible thing to ask of anyone," Tara agreed.

"What if I don't agree?"

Tara looked at Rob. "I don't know. Many make threats but never go through with it. Don't know if Debby is like that. I think if she starts drinking, feels sorry for herself and sees no way out, she is not in control and could do things to herself. I can't live with that thought. But I can't do anything about it either."

Rob paused for a long sip of coffee. "I can deal with the dressing as nobody will see me except you and Debby. The other part is unknown. I never experienced anything like that before. I am sure I won't like it."

"You'll hate it. My roommate told me she had tried it. It hurt the first time as she didn't have lubrication. So it'll be painful I think."

"Tara, over these last two days I have grown close to you. I don't know what I saw in Debby but it wasn't anything romantic. It was companionship. I feel guilty in breaking up with her even though I wasn't really with her if you know what I mean."

"I know. That's what makes this request even stranger." Tara squeezed Rob's hand. "I need a few minutes to put on my face. I'll be back soon." Tara rose and left the kitchenette.

Rob cleared away the plates and cups into the sink. His mind was on Debby's request. He had never put anything like that in his mouth, except a banana. But he bit pieces off. He was torn between wanting to help and guilt. He had no idea what he could expect. His thoughts were interrupted by Tara.

"I'm ready. Let's go," she said. She took his arm as they descended the staircase. Rob felt good. "I'll have to tell Debby something today before lunch. What do you think?"

"I think I'll feel guilty for the rest of my life if I don't do anything to help her, especially if she will hurt herself," Rob said as they got into the car. He didn't drive off. "But I am scared of what she wants to do."

"I feel the same way and even more helpless as I can't do anything for her. And then taking you away..."

"Don't think about it," Rob interrupted. "I know my relationship with Debbie would have been just friends. I am happy she introduced us."

"So, what shall I tell her?"

Rob looked at Tara. "I don't think I have a choice. I don't want to feel guilty when I am with you. If she does something to herself, it would be terrible for both of us. I would do it if you are willing to help," Rob said quietly staring intently at Tara. He started the car.

"Of course I'll help. But what do you need?"

"I have no idea how to do this and pretend to be a woman, an attractive one that Debby would like. It seems she wants more than me in a dress. We also need to know where this will take place."