All Comments on 'The Penthouse Ch. 01: Who am I?'

I like the premise and dynamic of the story in itself. The only real issue I"m seeing is the beginning, it just isn't catchy for me personally. It doesn't really draw you in. Theoretically, a good story includes a great hook. Drawing the readers in with some action is best. Sometimes taking a piece of action from later on in the story and sticking it right in the beginning really works to draw in readers. Then, fill in relevant background information throughout the story and in between the lines.

Some minor grammatical errors here and there, could use an editor. Otherwise, good job, it's not bad. :)