The Perfect Beginning Ch. 03

*

"Becky, do you think the girlfriend is supposed to make all the decisions in a relationship."

"That's a little bit of a silly question.  Could you imagine me telling my guy what to do all the time...I mean like if I had a guy...the right guy?  You know, a man."

So often Tim was consumed with his own situation, he missed the wide world going on around him.  "Yeah, maybe not."  He knew Beck needed a strong partner, "a real man." 

Never had that term bothered him so much and he hated himself for now using it as a reference point of self comparison, yet it seemed unavoidable to him in light of certain revelations.

"Don't you know by now we're like twinsies?  At least in a relationship, we are sooooooo much alike.  It does not matter if it is a man or a woman who bosses and controls, it's about the relationship."

Tim considered the "twinsie" reference as he felt Missy pulse in her panties and knew Becky was more right than she could know.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it's not about male or female, it's about who we are as individuals, who we are on the inside." 

Becky struck Tim as being very modern in her outlook. As much as she loved living in a male dominated society, it was almost like she did not recognize it all as legitimate. Becky seemed to see past it all.

"People like Michele are born to boss around and control people like us.  Michele is a natural born leader.  And we are...I don't know, like followers I guess.  And there's certainly nothing wrong with that."

Tim felt his chest tighten and heart flutter.

"Think about it the opposite way.  Could you imagine Michele in a relationship with a guy who tells her what to do?  Imagine when she's two hundred fifty something; do you really think she'll be any less of a leader then?"

Tim knew that if anything, she'd be a more forceful, more formidable authority figure with age.  Since the very beginning, he'd watched her change and grow as her influence on him developed and strengthened.  "No, definitely not."

"Me neither.  Some of her strength comes from liking who she is.  Now imagine you...or for that matter me, in a relationship with her and bossing her around.  Imagine telling her to shut-up or...I don't know, commanding her to suck you off...or...or just laying down the law."

It was an absolutely preposterous scenario that did not merit a response.

"It's just who she is and it's just who we are.  We are different.  And it's alright."

"But how about a relationship with someone who'd be like equal?  People are talking about how it should be that way?"

"Not for me it shouldn't!" Becky said adamantly, almost proudly.  

She really is proud of who she is. 

Even though he knew she wanted a relationship like his, one in which her partner "bossed and controlled" her, she was proud of who she was.  Tim admired that.

"We're all different.  And I'm sorry honey, and don't take this the wrong way, but I don't see you as an equal...not in a healthy relationship...healthy for you that is.  You know, the kind of relationship you deserve to be in.  And my god, that sounds so incredibly boring...and just plain wrong.

"Want to tell me what happened?"

He was so profoundly conflicted about everything that was happening, about what Michele was making him do. 

Oh my god, what if people find out!  What if people find out I'm wearing panties! 

He was so terribly confused.  For a moment his head spun and he felt his tears welling.  

Yet in the next, he felt a rush of excitement and his love for Michele surge.  He wished he was at her side.  He longed for her comforting presence. 

There was definitely something very sexy about what she'd done to him and how she'd done it, and he knew he loved Michele more today than he did yesterday. 

She's claimed me.

In this, there was a strong sense of pride.  He felt himself pulsing in his Kitties and he felt so naughty and sexy.  Wearing girl undies definitely did something to him.

"Last night...last night..."  His anguish was palpable.  

Becky whispered, "It's alright, baby girl, you can tell me." 

At certain times, always in private, she referred to him as her "girl."  It was always in a fun teasing and/or affectionate way.  And it was always just between them; she made it alright by making it private.  Since it was linked to their first meeting, it seemed fitting.  And coming from Becky,  his best friend, he'd come to like it. 

This time it was not teasing.  It was caring and kind and inclusive.  She was gently snuggling him into her.  Becky lived in a world of pink sparkle and teddy bears.  She was inviting him into a place of gentle femininity.  She was giving him the love he needed to quell his sense of trauma.

"Shhhhh, take a deep breath.  And if you need to cry, just let it out.  I'm here for you, young lady.  It's okay, be who you are with me.  It's all going to be alright, gentle girl.  My little sister is always safe here with me. You are always safe with me. Your inner little-girl needs to be calmed and cared for."  

He soaked in her comforting affection.  God, he loved Becky.  He was not a girl, but none of that mattered.  Becky's love and affection mattered.  It was healing. And strangely, a part of him did feel like her little sister.  Becky, and the Lounge, for that matter, provided him a refuge.

She knew she was appealing to Tim's inner Kimberly and sought to slowly bring her out.  It's what Michele wants.  She viewed Kimberly as her bff and as her little sister whom she wanted to take under her wing.

"Last night she took me...she's making me...  Michele is making me wear girls' underwear," he said just above a whisper.  And with that shame out of his mouth, he began crying in earnest.

"Shhhhhh, it's okay, sweet girl.  Tell me what happened."  She took his hand to comfort him.  

He told her the whole humiliating story.  Yet as he did, a funny thing happened.  With each revelation, Becky took a moment to underscore the positive.  

"But wait a sec.  You did get to spend time with the love of your life, right?"

"Well yeah, but..."

"No buts.  You did or you didn't?"

"Okay, yes, I did."

"Is there anybody in the world you'd rather be with?"  The expected response was obvious.

"No.  I love spending time with you, but..." he leaned into his sister.

"And what you were doing was important to her, right?" she continued to lead him.

"Sure but..."

"And if it's important to Michele, don't you think it should be important to you too?"

"Oh, no, totally!  No, in a way, I guess it was.  It's just that it was so hard, Beck."

"Listen, young lady, if Michele says it's important, you better get with that. Understood?"

Sheepishly, "Yes, big sister."

"And you totally got amazing 'girl time' with the girl you love the most on Earth, right?  I mean, shopping with the girls is like only the most fun!  God, I soooooo wish I was there!  I'd have held your hand the whole time.  We'd have been just a couple of little girl, sisters shopping with the grown ups." she smiled at the vision.

Strangely, on some level, what she described fit with what actually happened.  He felt in his bones that on that night, he was a helpless, highly sexual child in the company of adults. "Yeah," he said almost absently.  In his mind, he was half way back to the actual event.  He wished he'd had is sister there to hold his hand.  He felt her comfort.

"And didn't it please Michele?" asked as though he might not be thinking first and foremost of Michele's pleasure.

"Oh, no!  It did and I know.  I mean, I know that's what really matters."  He felt a stab of guilt for being selfish. "Totally think she was enjoying herself."

"You know, there is nothing wrong with you wearing panties."

"Shhhh, Becky, keep your voice down!"

"Well it's true.  More than that, I'm glad you're wearing them.  What do you think of them apples?"  She smiled at him.

"I...I...I don't know.  I don't know what to think."  He did like the acceptance.

"I love the way a good pair of panties feels.  They are snug and pretty and sometimes...sometimes, in the right moment, on the right girl, they are crazy sexy."

"I know."  He sounded far away.  He loved Michele in her pretty undies.

"They feel good, don't they?"

"Um...sorta.  I mean, yes, but I don't know Beck."

"Yes you do.  Feel them.  Right now.  Feel them on you."

Instantly he started to stiffen.

"They feel good don't they."

Out of breath, "Yeah."

"They feel sexy, don't they."

He hated this, "Yes."

"Bet they look so good on you!  Pretty girl."

He told her the whole story.  As he revealed one mortifying detail after the next, she'd let him know how amazingly lucky he was and how absolutely perfect Michele was for him.  

"I know it might seem hard right now, but really, honey, you need this.  You will see, this will all work out for the best. I really, really, really think this is good for you." 

When he was done telling the story, and in spite of the tears rolling down his cheeks, she told him in the most sincere way, "Honey, I think you are so lucky and so brave.  I really do admire you."

"Really?" he said as he tried to stem the tide of tears.

"Of course I do!  I know what happened was hard for you.  But you really are sooooooo much better off for it."

"I am?"

"Well...let me just ask you one question: now that it's all over, do you feel closer to Michele or not?"

Tim just answered that question for himself and appreciated just how in tune Becky and he were. 

He took only a moment to reflect on how the night before, when they got home, he cried with a strange mixture of relief and desperate love as he went down on Michele.  As he kissed her perfect pussy and felt her acceptance and affection, he shook with tears.  His tears mixed in with her sex. 

He heard her soothing words once more, "That's my good boy.  Yessssss kiss my pussy and show me how much you love me.  There-there, little one.  You are my pretty little panty-boy.  Good boy.  Yes...kiss, kiss..."

"I do but..."

"Uh-uh, no 'buts'.  That's the only thing that really matters."

He was so deeply in love with Michele.

He loved how accepting and positive Becky was.  He really did love her and thought of her as his bff.

"And you were shopping with four women.  How did they feel about being with a boy in panties?  Were they offended?"

In spite of his mortification, he'd need to be dead not to pick up on the sexual energy surrounding their panty expedition.  All of them were absolutely giddy over the affair.  "No," he answered thoughtfully, "just the opposite; they seemed to like it."

"Of course they did.  Goodness, I so wish I'd been there!  Darling boy, you are so lucky."

"How so?"

"Well for one thing, you have a whole new collection of pretty underwear and that's exciting.  I totally want to see what she chose for you!  You lucky! 

"Also, you have a woman who gets you," she said sweetly.  "She knows who you are...who you really are...and she obviously accepts you.  Not a lot of girls would. 

"Can I tell you how much I love that my best friend is a panty-boy?  Total win for me!  God, I want to sing a song about it!  Wouldn't life be better if it were a musical?  We could sing the Panty-Boy song from the musical!  And we could dance here in the quad and all the girls would sing and dance with us!"   

She'd completely lost him with this so he assumed it was a boy-girl chasm he'd never traverse.

She smiled warmly at him.  "And it's so much more than that.  She's claiming you; she's claiming you as hers.  Oh my God, you're so lucky!  You lucky girl!  Do you really think she'd do that if she did not care?  Tim, this is how she is caring for you.  This is how she is keeping you close to her.  Just belong to her and be grateful. 

"Give in to it.  Go along and let it happen.  She decides...and it should be that way!  Give into her.  Don't you, at the bottom of your heart, want to belong to her?"

At once Tim felt his heart swell along with a sense of relief and gratitude.  "I do!"

"Eventually, you are going to like totally come to love wearing little girl undies...if for no other reason than it makes her happy. 

"Don't get me wrong, it's not like you want anybody else to know...and I'll always keep your secret, but you will come to love them. 

Trust me, they are right for you.  You are not like other men.  In your secret heart, you are a panty-boy.  And when you are not a panty-boy, you are a sexy, cute, little girl.  I L-O-V-E wearing a cute pair of little girl panties.  They make me feel so feminine and pretty...and I just know that eventually they will do the same for you."

Tim did not quite grasp what she meant by that.

"... If I start off the day feeling schmoopy, I know how important it is for me to make sure I put on the right pair of super cute panties to change my attitude and turn my frown upside down.  And you want to know what?  It almost always works.  Just knowing you are wearing something especially pretty and especially cute will always put you in a better mood.  It's like your special secret for the day. 

"Let's make this our pretty secret, okay?"

"Okay, Becky," he smiled shyly.  It was at moments likes these when Becky made him feel as though he were in a secret sorority and it was strangely and wonderfully comforting.

"Oh, you know what?" she prompted with the most excited expression.  "Let's share our secret every day at lunch.  We'll show each other and compete to see who can wear the prettier panties!"

In the face of how absurd and ridiculous this sounded, Tim laughed...and it sounded like fun.

*

Maybe it's gonna be okay.

And this was the cycle he was always on.

****

Picking up the phone, "Hello?"

"Hi Michele, it's me, Becky."

"Hello, Becky."

"Is this a good time?  I...I could call back later if you want?"

"What is it, Becky?" 

It had only been a couple of months since her life had completely changed; yet all this power and attention felt so natural to Michele that she had to stop in the moment to take stock.  She did not want to take it all for granted and really took her time to appreciate it all.  It was at just this moment that Michele marveled at the power dynamic she'd created in her life. 

She had a gorgeous, over-school celebrity calling her on the phone.  Becky could easily date men of any age. She was pretty enough to be on TV, but here on the phone with Michele, she sounded like a nervous, little girl. She and Becky knew that between them, Michele was the grown up and Becky was the girl.  The only question was if she was Michele's girl.

"Waiting..."

"Um...I just wanted to tell you that...that Tim is the luckiest boy in the whole world because he has you as a girlfriend.  He told me about how you went shopping together last night.  And I think you are...I have so much...

"I do hope you are helping him with all this?"

"Oh yes!  Totally!  I think it is wonderful and I told him.  In fact, if you ever want me to go shopping with you guys...or even if you just want me to take him, I'd..."

"You are a good girl, Becky.  I have to go now.  Bye-bye."

"I understand.  Have a lovely..." 

Michele hung up.

Becky was completely blown away by Tim's story.  She could not hide it from herself any longer, she was in love with Michele.  She loved Tim and was really happy for him, but she was also very jealous.  Becky could not wait to go home and fuck herself with her dildo.  She did this every day after school but today her need was especially strong.

****

Dear Diary,

I have to get real about this.  I have something planned for my little Timmy and it is getting me excited and I'm all, "Why am I getting so turned on and excited?" and I'm all, "Like, it's because I like showing him off."  Showing off Tim and what I can do with him is so Very, Very!  Love it! 

OK, so I've done it like twice now and I know what it is about.  Humiliating Tim turns us both on like nothing.  And when I do it in public!!!  He just wants to disappear.  It's really amazing.  God that excites me!  Feeling very Special right now just thinking about it! 

Then there is something else.  Like with Miranda (Oh and by the way, she has written me from London) it lets me fulfill what mom calls my civic-duty by helping others.  That really means a lot to me.  Like, I'm kinda surprised that I keep thinking about that because it felt so good to help out somebody else. 

OK, so here's the totally selfish other part that I L-O-V-E.  I can tell that a lot of other girls and women like that I do this to Tim and look up to me for it, like admire me.  That really means a lot to me.  I enjoy respect. 

I have a 400 something year old woman who wants to be friends with me, a pretty girl from England who wants my advice and her mother who has sent me a thank you letter for spending time with her daughter and $2,000 gift certificate to my favorite department store!  And though the money is nice, that's not what makes it special.  Having grown women admire and respect me is better than amazing...

****

Michele had heard enough and made it clear to Tim.  It had been decided, he was getting hair removal and it was settled. 

Though lacking specifics on her agenda, he did not like it and tried for some time to gently talk her out of it, but Michele would not be deterred.  She did not see what the big deal was: panties and body hair did not go together and just shaving was not enough.  Period.  She told him she wanted a few things taken care of at the salon.  

Upon entry, Michele was greeted by an attractive, middle aged Vietnamese woman.  Apparently the two had some previous conversation because the woman, Minh, knew who Tim was and gave him a knowing smile that made Tim all the more uncomfortable. 

She led them to a back room where they were met by Mai, Minh's very young niece who had just flown in from Vietnam.  Because Mai spoke very limited English, Minh served as an interpreter, translating to Mai, all of Michele's instructions. 

Of course Tim was totally undone by the whole situation, but he knew there was nothing he could do about it.  As Michele said, it was decided and he knew her word was final.  It was so humiliating, but he'd already been exposed to several strangers once before at the department store, so he decided to just do his best to accept what was happening.  

It was true, he had moments when he accepted that he was a sissy, as Michele insisted he was.  Certainly, he did not wear the pants in the relationship and about half the time Michele and he made love, he knew in his heart he was a love struck, totally coquettish little girl, next to his Tigress.  There were times in the Lesbian Lounge when he felt as though he and Becky really were secret sisters and it was easy to just feel like one of the girls.  In spite of the fact that he was mortified at having to wear little girl undies, his sister was right in that some part of him was thrilled by it too.

Yet by far, he was a guy.  He was not just a guy, he was a guy.  He knew that some part of him would never get used to this.

Separately, Michele knew this too and loved it.  She loved the conflict she created for him as well as the resultant anxiety.

Though he often asked himself how he got himself into all this, he reminded himself that he'd never loved anybody more than Michele and on some level he knew he never would.  She was it for him so he'd better do his best to make her happy.  

As Michele unbuttoned and lowered his jeans, showing off his finest Hello Kitties, he was assaulted by the delighted laughter of the two ladies.  He'd begun swelling as they entered the salon, but now with the two ladies laughing at him, he began to fully erect. 

Mai, covered her mouth and pointed while saying something in Vietnamese.  Minh tried not to giggle but did a little in spite of herself.  Both women stared at the spectacle, each noting that in spite of how incredibly hard his rather large penis became, it seemed almost trapped by the panties.  The head was hooked under the waistband and no matter how much it throbbed it was unable to stand up straight or escape.  Each could not help but notice that with this shameful exposure, he became sexually aroused.  Each thought it was the strangest, least manly thing they could imagine.