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Tim thought that a strange comment as he had no idea that very soon he'd be sharing with Becky, every detail of his relationship. That is what bffs did. He had no inkling that Becky would be holding his hand through every upcoming challenge and tribulation. He'd come to rely on her deeply.
"I love you so much."
"Of course you do," said a smiling Michele. "You're my good boy. Who's my good boy?"
"I am. I'm your good boy." He was so excited by her condescending praise, all he wanted to do was to kneel before her and rest his head on her lap as he hugged her legs.
Anything for Her!
"Thank you. Thank you so much Michele." In private and in a relaxed moment like this, he was permitted to address Michele without title. In so many ways, they were just a normal, loving couple.
*
Becky was a bit unsure of what Michele wanted and what precisely her new role with Tim was. Yet that did not bother her in the least.
She felt so amazingly validated!
Does Michele want Tim more like he was on Halloween, like as a girl? That could be totally fun!
Or did Michele just want him like Becky in the more general sense? Becky was not sure there was a real difference. Not since she tried out for Cheer had she had such a strong sense of purpose. Michele valued Becky for simply being who she was and she did not want to disappoint Michele. She was going to have the best time doing Michele's bidding: slowly bringing Tim into her world.
And Becky really was jealous of Tim. Michele was amazing! Becky had always been attracted to pretty girls so that was nothing new. She'd even had a little, secret crush on Tim's old girlfriend Tiffany, even though Tiff looked down her perfect little nose at Becky.
It's so unfair. We're supposed to be on the same squad!
Beck knew it was because she was prettier than Tiff but since Tiff was so pretty, Becky thought the jealousy was silly.
So not necessary! I just want to be friends.
Now that did not matter. Michele was different.
Tim is soooooooo lucky!
****
Relationships were important to Michele. At the beginning of her fevered readings about women, feminism, femininity, men and sex, it became clear to Michele that her focus was common and normal for women. For many, especially young women, a relationship with a man became a cornerstone of a woman's identity.
Michele liked men and a relationship with a man would always be very important to her, yet her identity would not depend on the man. Her intelligence, focus and perseverance would serve rather well as a cornerstone. She viewed the nature of the relationship as a reflection of her identity.
She knew that emotionally, Tim was the "girl" in the relationship. He was becoming more and more dependent upon Michele and his relationship with her defined him in his own eyes. Michele felt more than a little smug about this and enjoyed doing whatever she could to encourage this perception.
Michele was a success in school and now with men. At such a tender, young age she enjoyed a very comprehensive and committed relationship with a man who kissed the ground she walked on. She had what a large majority of women go without for their entire lives: her own identity, a committed, monogamous relationship with a handsome man and daily orgasms. She was so young and already, Michele was a self made woman. What girl wouldn't be smug?
I only get 1,800 and something more years of this.
She smiled.
****
Dear Happy Me,
I am enjoying what many of the books and articles are calling "role-reversal." That is like when the man is like or sort of like the woman and the woman is like the man. It's not an all the way thing either. Tim is still a man-boy and I'm still a girl and all. It's just in some ways, we've switched. I've been doing a lot of reading about "validation" and I know that Tim gets almost all of his validation from little ol' me. Super-Duper smug! Can I say how much I like that? Yes you can Michele, this is your journal. Happy-face! Why is that good? It gives me sooooooo much influence and power over him...
****
Dearest Me,
Been thinking about myself a bit, specifically my possessiveness.
In a lot of readings I get the sense that the possessive partner is usually the guy and it is usually an insecure guy.
Yes, women can be this way too. I know.
He tries to feel secure by owning his girlfriend. He objectifies her in this way. So the question is this: Am I insecure? Does my desire to own Tim show that I'm not a totally secure person? I've sat with this for a little while, really thinking about it and I don't know, trying to feel it. I really am trying to feel the idea and how it applies to me.
I'm not insecure.
This is not about insecurity. I know this for two reasons. First, I'd be fine without Tim or any boyfriend. I am confident in who I am. The other reason is that I would have no problem being by myself. I'm not dependent on a guy or anybody.
That does not mean I don't value Tim, because I do, but that is a different thing. Like, I can value a pair of shoes but go on living just as happily without owning them. I can be by myself and value him at the same time. Just like I can be myself, totally secure...and still want to own that beautiful, new pair of shoes.
So I am possessive, but it is not about insecurity, it is about power. A sense of ownership is just my preference. I enjoy knowing that Tim belongs to me and I like that he thinks of himself as belonging to me. I don't want some other girl wearing my shoes. They are mine. Tim is mine too.
He's not my boyfriend, he's my boy-thing. Win!...
****
With each passing day, Michele looked down at Tim, and marveled at how intensely focused he was on her body, her pleasure, her wellbeing.
She reflected on how after that first time he went down on her, he begged to do so again. Whimpering and moaning into her crotch became a daily occurrence. She loved that his moans and whimpers felt like a vibration right into her pretty, little pussy, driving down on her cute little clit.
She loved that he was so into it. She wondered how normal that was. How many guys literally moaned into their girlfriends' crotch? She knew immediately this was another form of power, but she was unsure how powerful it was.
Every time it was the same. First he'd massage her. Often she'd nurse him at her hard, little nipples. She'd push him down to her panties and he'd spend the longest time just smelling her, breathing in her scent. This made her feel so incredibly pretty. His fingers were so delicate and kept her highly sensitized. His nose and his need to smell her, to breath her in was naturally gentle and reverential. When he'd breath her in, she'd feel his whole body shudder. With one, single deep breath, a good long draw from her fragrant crotch, he'd begin to make the cutest, soft, little, involuntary (Michele was sure) whimpering noises. She loved that.
It was kind of a really fun and intense tease. She knew he was teasing himself as well. She could be patient though because she knew soon enough, he'd start kissing and licking her. That's when he would begin moaning in earnest. However long it took, no matter what, her orgasm would come.
Tim went so slowly because he wanted to really savor it all. Also, it was intimate together time that he could never quite get enough of. Lastly, in short order, prolonged sexual worship became Michele's expectation.
He felt like he could just breath in her scent all day long and it was so wonderfully strong, he could almost taste the air. He had no idea that her pheromones continued to physically change his brain.
Breathing her scent did something amazing to him. At once, it stoked profound physical and emotional need within him. It made him desperately need Michele. Happily, it also made him feel more connected to her than anything in the world. This was where he felt true belonging and even safety. He did not realize it, but his safety came from his perception of being intimately valued by Michele. He was proving his worth to Her. Her intimate scent, his need for it, its association with her approval made him more emotionally vulnerable to Michele. In short, her scent made him more submissive.
It was so nice and relaxing that she could be patient with it all. She too savored the sensation of getting hornier and hornier because of the pending pay off.
She enjoyed thinking that she "trained" him to go very slowly and super gently so that she did not desensitize and miss her orgasm. If that happened, she became very cross.
Since she loved the attention and the mental relaxation that came with the prolonged sexual tension and eventual orgasm, she often kept him between her legs teasing her up with feather light touches and super gentle kisses for up to an hour before she signaled him to lick her pretty little clit to a mind blowing orgasm.
This sort of prolonged foreplay became a form of sexual meditation for Michele in which she felt awash in pleasure and power. She adored and greatly valued subservient sexual attention. She came to believe she deserved worship.
She also realized that the stronger she smelled, the deeper he fell into it all. Michele took pride in the fact that Tim LOVED the way she smelled.
Always before he sucked her off, she'd let him spend a great deal of time just smelling her through her panties with no touching at all with no touching save the merest tingling touch of his nose on her panties. Anything more merited a sound slap to the face.
She'd signal him when a touch more petting was allowed. Much of the hour spent teasing her up was spent with him gently touching her legs while just sniffing and breathing in her crotch. It always made her feel so deliciously naughty and aroused her as he nuzzled, ever so gently tickled and sniffed her cotton covered mound. Eventually she'd slip her panties off and again, he was only to smell her while tracing her crotch and legs with gentle fingertips.
She felt her power, her mastery sink deeply into him. The feel of his nose on her bush and the feel of his breath on her sex was wonderful. She could easily allow him an hour to lose his mind in her pheromones. Michele just liked how this teased them both and got them sooooooo in the mood and sooooo into each other.
And it felt like possession.
She was amazed and delighted one day when she did not shower after an early morning physical education class. Her crotch had been really sweaty and it slowly dried throughout the morning producing a very, very, pungent musk.
She was a little self conscious but could not have imagined his response. Not only was he whimpering at her crotch, but her jaw almost came unhinged when she saw what he was doing. She reclined with her crotch on the edge of the couch.
Tim knelt before her and as he smelled her, not even yet licking, he began to hump the air. For his spanking, she'd pulled his jeans down to his ankles, and his rock hard cock was dripping boycum as he slowly humped his hips at nothing!
Often when he licked her, she thought of him as Kimberly, but not this time. It reminded her of Tanya's dog Rex. Rex was a big, strong German Shepard and he was super horny all the time.
Rexy would often greet a girl by sticking his nose in her crotch. When he thought he could take advantage, he'd leap up, and try to lock his forelegs on her hips. Then he'd start humping, trying desperately to achieve penetration.
She noticed that Tim was doing it much slower, like Rex, but in slow motion. There was a part of it that was so over the top licentious, it was disturbing. In fact, had it been in any other context, she'd likely have been totally disgusted and repulsed.
And some part of her felt this way. Yet she could not take her eyes from the mirror. This riveting spectacle looked somehow more desperate and more needy than when Rex did it.
Soon, Michele became pretty certain Tim did not even know he was doing it! It was an involuntary, purely animalistic response and it was soooooooo lewd.
Oh my god, just look at what my pussy does to him! It's my smell.
She was even more shocked when she realized it made her somehow hornier. She was at once disturbed and aroused by this depraved response, but she allowed him an especially long time to breath in her hypnotic musk; and as he quietly moaned and humped mindlessly, she could not take her eyes from him.
He better not have an oopsy-daisy.
In fact, Tim had no idea what his hips and bobbing, wet cock were doing; it was a completely involuntary response to extreme arousal. He did know he was painfully horny, more aroused than he'd ever been, but taking care of Michele was everything to him.
Her musk, the completely overwhelming aromatic wave of dried sweat and pee all but sent him into some sort of sex coma. She smelled incredible and once he became overwhelmed and intoxicated by her scent, he was totally lost. He was oblivious to his surroundings and utterly incapable of rational thought. He didn't even know he was quietly crying.
Though reclined, she bent her knees deeply, splayed wide, she put each foot on Tim's shoulders and used her feet and legs to keep him from her pussy. She'd allow a nuzzle and a deep breath, maybe a soft, baby-kiss and then she'd use her legs to push him back several inches and hold him there.
Gently, he'd try to drive his face back into her, but Michele controlled it all. She wore a satisfied, seductive smile as his moans and whimpers became louder and somehow more needy and desperate; his yearning was put on full display.
Yes, breath it in. Keep breathing it. Surrender to it.
Michele adored his needy, submissive whimpers. She knew she was cultivating power, and oh how she coveted power!
"Ple...please!" he whispered by way of begging.
Michele looked down and marveled at the look of anguish on his face. She broke into the biggest smile as she watched a tear of desperation trail down his cheek.
He's crying because he needs me so badly. My life is perfect!
After the longest time, she allowed him to kiss and lick her and as he did, she thought about poor Rex. He'd never had a bitch to fuck. He'd never sunk his big doggy cock in a girl dog's pussy. Michele kind of felt sorry for him. It might be fun to bring him a pretty girl dog. She felt sorry for poor, horny Rex, but not at all for Tim. To the contrary, she wanted Rex to lose his virginity, but wanted Tim to remain a virgin for as long as possible.
She could not help compare Tim to Rex.
At least Rexy is emotionally strong enough to try to just take what he wants.
Tim needed it just as badly as Rex, but he was so pussy whipped, it was pathetic. She knew she wanted her guy like that...but still! Michele laughed.
As she considered keeping Tim a virgin for as long as possible, a wonderful, perhaps a perfect idea occurred to her and her orgasms overtook her.
In the afterglow of her orgasm, she smiled to herself. Just thinking about being a Bitch helped her cum.
And she decided she'd never shower after gym class again. Something else occurred to her: she'd not said a word to Tim about his perverted little humping thing. It sure wasn't because she did not enjoy embarrassing him. Intuition told her to keep that to herself. She smiled again.
****
That day in class, Ms. Krista, the guidance councilor came in to talk about drugs use and addiction. During the presentation, a funny thing occurred to Michele as she listened to Ms Krista: it almost seemed she was describing Tim's behavior toward her pussy. She actually giggled out loud when it dawned on her that her pussy might be Tim's drug. Just the idea started making her horny. Could he be addicted to it? She thought she'd find out.
****
Dear Me,
So I think I've kind of figured out why our pretty, little penis humiliation is so important for us. Power score! First, there is the "like no duh," part of it. Saying it to him and seeing what it does to him is just precious! Really, like so the prettiest thing! I like that it hurts him right between his legs. Kicking a boy in the balls is not the only way you can hurt him there, you know?
A lot of times when I do say something, he looks like I just kicked him there. I don't do it too often because I wanted it to stay fresh, I really want it to have an emotional impact every single time. Usually I don't say anything about it more than once every couple of weeks. Oh, but when I do it, it devastates him! Oh my god, I LOVE that!
He gets all hurt and broken. It's so cute and always gets me feeling special. And I think that he now really thinks he might be small...or he at least knows I think he is and that is all that really matters in his world...that he knows it really is My world he lives in. Smile.
I also love that when I give him my special bitchy-hard-love, his cock gets hard. Sitting with the magic of all this. I am totally destroying his sense of manhood and totally devastate him emotionally by making fun of his penis... and it gets hard!
Is that strangely and unexpectedly perfect? Yes, I think it might be. He must be so confused! Kinda shows what I wrote above is true. He lives in My World. Totals! Love that!
I love when I make his pretty, little head spin with the scariest emotions. He gets all alone and needy. Poor, poor, baby boy.
And that's the other reason it's important. When I do this, he needs me more. Tim believes that the size of his penis is really important and it is a big reason why girls choose their guys. And I actually know sometimes this is true. Some girls like 'em BIG. So when I say something, he gets all scared because he thinks since he's small (but he's really not), that I might leave him. And since I'm so powerful to him and give him all his validation, he kind of like loses his mind a little bit with fear and need. It's intense.
I can say something and either leave him alone or pile on and his cock gets hard and his mind comes un-zipped. All my little boy's emotions just spill out onto the floor. Emotionally, he's like a cute, little boy who's peed himself and he's crying with shame. Oh my god, Big-Girl Fun!!!
And I like him that way for a little bit. And then I can give him just like a little bit of affection and it's like what Rex does when Tanya comes home from school. The love and adoration (love that word) just kind of overwhelm him.
After working on Tim and then showing him some love, a lot of times he cries with relief. He's so cute. Sometimes I hold him in my arms and rock him. Cute, little boy needs me like so bad! Mmmmm. It's not just fun, even though it's incredibly fun! This is good for us, this is another part of Timmy's therapy. The best thing in the world for Timmy is to be the perfect boy for me. The best thing for Timmy is for him to need me. Oh, and I do like to feed his need! Need me, baby boy. Pop! So happy!
****
Tim loved going down on Michele. He loved it more than anything. To be fair, he needed it. It had become a primal need that if not in the forefront of his mind, was lurking on the periphery. Her scent haunted him as he imagined he smelled her at the most random times.
And she was usually so pleased with him afterward he went down on her. She might pat him on the head and tell him he did well, tell him he was a good boy, and even on the times she told him to get back to cleaning the house, he was certain of her love and he felt his most important.
Yet Michele had yet to get Tim off and as much as he needed to get Michele off, he still wanted to get off too.
He masturbated all the time, but that was certainly not the same thing as an honest to goodness blow-job. Also weird was that when he did masturbate, it was always to the vision of going down on Michele, being spanked by her or some other humiliating act or dark offering. It was never to a vision of Michele going down on him.
