The Perfect Man

To my friend Tanya - Thank you for inspiring me to publish my backlog and continue writing. I hope this is what you were looking for!

Every one of them checks a box. One for every occasion. The man of my dreams is actually four men. Four perfectly imperfect men.

When I started online dating, I never expected to end up here, a queen pampered by four incredible kings. I'm just a regular girl, living the single life for longer than I can remember. I survived a disastrous relationship in my early 20's, then spent my 30's struggling in a dating world full of hookups and flakes. In a fit of self-destruction, under relentless pressure from my friends, I decided to take my chances with online dating just shy of my 40^th birthday. Maybe a boyfriend would be fun for a while?

Just as you can expect, there was a sea of weirdos and mountains of sad, boring men. Endless crude messages, go nowhere conversations, and a handful of dates ranging from 'meh' to outright terrible when Shane popped up. He wasn't exactly my type, but seemed like a nice, honest guy. On our first date he was a perfect gentleman, making me think maybe he was a little too nice.

Shane is in his mid-40's, owned a successful online-based fashion business, and was just as unlucky in love as I was. He was well-mannered, average height, and a bit of a pretty boy, but the whole dark and handsome thing wasn't exactly my jam. That classic swimmer's body, lean with just enough muscle so he wouldn't blow away in a storm. He was addicted to the gym and a healthy lifestyle, which compared to my beer and tacos plan, didn't seem like a match. The bright white smile, curly black hair, deep dark eyes, and cute dimples would make just about anyone swoon, but something just seemed off. There was no spark, no danger.

Over and over in my head I reeled with the thoughts of how on paper, he brought the things to the table that all women want, but that lack of edge and his inability to challenge me simply didn't get the juices flowing. On our third date, he finally kissed me. It was nice, but soft, like those times in college I made out with my girlfriends. He was too soft. Too weak.

That next week after that date I built up the courage to be honest with him and end it, but he headed me off at the pass on our standard evening call.

"I feel like you're fading."

"If I'm being honest, I am."

"Was there anything I did?"

"Ugh, no, you're perfect. I just think... maybe you're a little too nice. I feel like I'm going to run over you."

"I'm not that nice."

"Oh god, don't do that. You're a sweetheart. It's great. You're great. It's like you're too perfect for me. I have flaws. I have quirks. I have things going on in the back of my head that would make the devil himself blush."

"I have those things too. We're just starting off, so both of us our putting our best foot forward. What if I told you I have a secret? It's not something I normally share, but it's part of my past and while I'm not ashamed of it, it's not something that really seems to be ok with most women."

My stomach churned as I tried to think of a way to deflect, end the call, and move on with my life. This sweet man was going to beg me to be with him. What a turnoff.

"Let me guess, you stole a piece of candy when you were 6. You never returned a library book in high school. You don't come to a complete stop at every..."

"My last relationship was with a couple."

Dead silence as my brain struggled to process.

"You still there?"

"Yeah... ummm... you were in a relationship with a couple?"

"Yes, is that scary."

"A little bit, but now I'm curious."

He laughed, "Curious is better than disgusted."

"I'm an open-minded person."

"Good. So..."

"So... explain."

"Well, it started off years ago when I became friends with a bartender. I stopped in for a drink, the place was empty, and we just hit it off. We talked all night and she kept telling me how much her husband would like me. How we were so much alike."

"Oh he would LIKE you."

"No", he chuckled, "he wasn't gay or bi or anything. We just have similar styles, taste in music and movies, sports, all that."

"So you guys bro out and all fuck each other?"

He's dying at that point, "not at first, but yeah basically. Over the course of the next couple of months I went back to that bar a few times and then she invited me to their Superbowl party. She was right. Dave was awesome. We definitely bro'ed out and very quickly started hanging out regularly. We were all friends for almost a year when Jenny pulled me aside and propositioned me."

"Hmmm... how exactly did that go?"

"It was weird, if I'm honest. I really noticed her getting a little flirty one night when we were out to eat and then she sent Dave home early to let the dog out. That in itself wasn't strange. One or both of them would bail midway through every night out to let her out, then return maybe an hour later and the night would go on. This time though, he didn't come back, just sent me a text asking me to bring her home at a reasonable time."

"You were set up... with his wife?" I giggled.

"I guess so. I mean, we eventually talked about it and it turns out there were signs and I was just clueless."

"What kind of signs?"

"Outside of just being kind of sexual in front of me, she would ask me what I thought about her outfits, tell me I was handsome and a great catch, and she did show me her ass one time."

"Excuse me sir, that is a MAJOR sign."

"It wasn't like that. Well, I guess it was, but it didn't seem that way at the time. We were chilling in their pool and she got out to grab us a few beers. She bent over and Dave made a comment like, 'shake it baby' and she did, then she mooned us and slapped it."

"Yeah, she showed you her bare ass... and slapped it."

"Sure, yeah, but it didn't feel really sexual, more goofy than anything."

"Ok, now Dave's at home and you're alone with his wife who tells you how handsome you are and shows you her ass."

"It's a lot isn't it."

"No... I'm invested now, keep going."

"It feels weird telling you all of this."

"Shane, I'm not going to lie, this is NOT at all what I expected out of this conversation, but it's not giving me weird vibes yet."

"Yet?"

"Just continue."

"Yeah, well, she went to the bathroom, came back, and sat right next to me on my side of the booth. Like I said, she was flirting with me all night, but again, it didn't feel like anything out of the ordinary or like anything was going to happen. She did the normal stuff, calling me handsome, talking about how good my shirt looked, but then when she sat next to me, she got very close and leaned on me."

"What was going through your mind then?"

"I just thought she was drunk and to be honest, it made me a little uncomfortable. She got pretty aggressive at that point, rubbing my thigh and making sexual comments."

"What kind of comments?"

"She said a bunch of things, but the one that really set off the alarm was 'it's been a while since we've had a threesome.'"

"Bold."

"Absolutely. At that point I told her she was drunk and I was taking her home to her husband. Then she just let me have it. She flat out told me that Dave wanted to watch me fuck her. I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin."

"But, you did go home and fuck her... with Dave."

"No."

"So nothing happened? Where is this story going?"

"I didn't say nothing happened. Long story short, we had some fun in the car, Dave called me the next day and we had a long talk."

"That sounds fun."

He snickers, "not at first, but things were established."

"Sounds like it. You three were just all fucking and from then on, huh?"

"Kinda. It started off just her and I, then the three of us."

"Wow."

"You're totally freaked out."

"No, it's kind of hot."

"Is something like that something you'd be open to?"

And there it was. This sweet innocent man turned out to be a guy who loves to share a woman with another man. I was shocked to my core, while at the same time, totally aroused. After telling Shane I needed a little bit of time to think about things, I felt the defeat in his voice and his once frequent text messages completely disappeared over the next couple of days. I wasn't sure I was ready for all of that so his fade actually felt pretty good.

Enter Derek.

Derek was my second online date ever. One of the 'meh' dates. He was a nice enough guy, and physically exactly my type. Early 40's, big, thick, bearded, handsome. He had a body built by working construction his entire life and a blunt, boyish charm. He was kind of funny, but clearly wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box. I loved his light eyes and short blond hair, but he just had nothing upstairs to offer me.

About a week after Shane ghosted, Derek reached back out. It had been a few months since our mediocre date that ended with a great kiss and went nowhere. I guess I kinda ghosted him, but I know he had to have felt it coming. There just was no 'there' there.

Sitting in my office, my phone buzzed and Derek was asking how I've been. I almost didn't respond. Who cares how I've been? Nothing was going to come of it. I sat on it a few hours and was in a good mood so I started chatting with him. My instincts were correct and despite his lack of brainpower, he knew the score. He was sexy, but no way could I ever be with him seriously.

'I dont want to be a creep but I think your sexy want to go out again?'

Oh Derek, you sweet simple man. Fuck it.

'You should come over tonight.'

I greeted him at the door and the sexual tension was palpable. I felt a little nervous and unsure of myself as we cracked open a couple of beers and made awkward conversation on the couch. Thankfully, about halfway through my beer, Derek took control. Out of nowhere he stood up, grabbed my hand, and dragged me into my bedroom.

Derek pressed me against the wall, tonguing deeply into my mouth and pawing my chest with his big, rough hands. I wrapped my arms around his ample neck as he licked my earlobe and ran his fingers up my thigh under my dress. As he grazed the slickness seeping through my black lace thong, I tore at his t-shirt, peeling it over his head revealing his smooth barrel chest. I bit his massive shoulder while he slipped his finger into my sopping panties, tracing around my lips and plunging deep into me.

I felt my wetness along my back as he grabbed me, spun me around and forced me onto the bed, immediately lifting my dress and slapping hard on my ass. He ripped my thong completely off and dove face first into my womanhood, tonguing deeply as I moaned into the comforter. Squeezing hard on my ass he buried his soft beard into me, he lapped up every inch with dominating authority.

I struggled to reach back and feel him, tearing at his hair and ears to pull him in further. I shook with orgasm moments later, which was his cue to give me his nice, fat cock. I heard his belt hit the tile floor, his thumbs spread me open, and he filled me with every inch.

Gripping my hips, he thrust into me like a man possessed, shoving me up the bed with every slap until he was on top of the bed with me. We continued to work our way across the bed, sliding the entire frame away from the wall, and just as my head was nearly off the other side, he laid completely on top of me, holding my shoulders and jackhammering my gushing pussy into oblivion.

Panting and covered in sweat, he pulled out and shot a spurt between my cheeks and all the way up my back between my shoulder blades. Falling on top of me, he continued to flex and spill between us, eventually collapsing beside me, heaving to catch his breath.

We laid there a few minutes, pulling ourselves together, and reveling in the lust before we started talking about sex and fantasies. In that moment, I had a flash of Shane and his story.

"How about threesomes?"

"Two chicks at the same time. I'm in."

"How about two guys and one girl?"

"Oh, sure. Me and my buddies used to double-team girls all the time in high school."

So sexy, Derek. So sexy.

I sent him home after finishing off our warm beers and my mind stirred with the thought of Shane and Derek. Shane, so sweet and sensual. Derek, so rough and animalistic.

'Hi.'

Perhaps I could have thought of something more clever to text, but I was half asleep and figured Shane probably wouldn't even respond.

'Hi, yourself.'

'I want what Jenny had.'

I definitely could have been more tactful, but I still had a good bit of 'fuck it' left in me.

'And what exactly is that?'

'You, me, and another guy.'

'Oh yeah? Anyone in particular or just some random off the street.'

'I have someone in mind.'

I probably made things more complicated than they needed to be, but the end result was worth it. A few days texting both guys, making sure everyone was ok with this being just a one-off thing, and trying to arrange a time to get together. We finally settled on going to a dive bar that next Saturday.

Of course, I was late. As if I wasn't nervous enough at what was sure to be an awkward rendezvous. A feeling that turned out to be completely right.

I walked in to find both guys bellied up to the crowded bar, but on opposite ends. Oh great, they couldn't have found each other based on my description and already be best friends by the time I arrived? Ok, maybe my descriptions were a little vague.

Shane was closest to the door and I caught Derek's eye as I approached. Derek walked over as I hugged Shane, and we made our way to a table. Just as I suspected, the conversation was quite labored and very uncomfortable. They couldn't have been more different. Shane wearing his fitted dress shirt and slacks and Derek rocking his Metallica t-shirt and jeans.

Thankfully, Shane surprised me by taking control.

"I don't think we need to beat around the bush, we know what we're doing here."

And just like that, we were off to the races. Shane and Derek bantered a little for dominance, but pretty quickly agreed this wasn't about them, it was about me. Their little competition over me devolving into me being the center of attention was really, really hot.

Right about the time Derek made his third "no eye contact bro" comment, we finished our 5^th round and I was cautiously ready to get the show on the road.

I was shaking and a little terrified when we pulled up to my house. I sat in my car contemplating all of my life decisions as the boys meandered around the front door waiting on me. Shane flashed his pretty smile and motioned for me to get out of my car and I reluctantly obliged.

I struggled to fit the key in the door as they both hovered behind me and once inside. I didn't know where to begin.

"You guys want a beer?"

"I think we've had enough already, but if you need one to calm yourself, grab one." Shane insisted.

"I'm good, come here."

Derek grabbed my arm and pulled me into him, kissing me firmly on the lips, wrapping his big arms around my waist. Our tongues found each other just as Shane pressed up behind me, delicately kissing my neck. His fingertips lightly tickled up my thighs, across my side and back down to my ass. Derek exhaled loudly and squeezed me hard into him, his tongue darting in and out of my mouth. I immediately fell in love with the contrast between these two men touching me.

I was dripping as I felt Derek's manhood swelling against me. Shane's hands delicately made their way between us, rubbing me through my paper-thin dress and silk panties. Derek dropped his hands and pulled hard on my ass, his rock-hard shaft smashing into my stomach. With my butt spread apart from Derek's grip, Shane's growing member fell right between, rocking up and down as it expanded in his slacks. Both men were fully engorged as I pushed Derek back and dropped to my knees between them. Shane pulled a throw pillow from the couch, allowing me to comfortably resume kneeling while Derek unbuckled his belt and dropped his jeans to the floor.

I focused on Shane, staring up into his inviting brown eyes, stroking up his long pole and pulling his zipper. Derek reached for my wrist, pulling my hand to his now nude body, and placing it on his throbbing meat. Shane dragged his shirt over his head as I tugged Derek and he pulled my face to him. Bobbing up and down on Derek, my mouth struggling with his thickness, my free hand found Shane's long cock protruding from his boxers. I made my way back and forth as they stood side by side, Derek's girth stretched my mouth and Shane's impressive length hit the back of my throat.

Shane reached down and played with my hardening nipples, cupping my perky bosom, dripping with the spit from each of their swollen cocks. Derek gripped hard on my hair, forcing himself into my throat, roughly fucking my face. My eyes teared up with each harsh motion and I pushed myself out of his clutches, turning my head to Shane and taking him all the way to the base, struggling not to gag. He ran his fingers through my hair, holding me slightly and rocking back and forth down my gullet. Derek pulled at himself sloppily over me and moments later, stretched to my armpit, standing me up.

I wiped my chin and he rammed his tongue down my throat. Our teeth gnashed and he clamped down on my ass with one hand, and mashed my clit side to side furiously in my panties. Shane lightly teased my body up and down, pausing slightly here and there to grab a handful of flesh - thighs, stomach, tits, ass, he was all over me, in and out of my dress. Both of them were all over me. I was completely at their mercy.

Derek pushed me back, spinning me into Shane and falling onto the couch behind him. Shane gently probed my mouth with his tongue and Derek slapped my ass, grabbed my hips, picked my thong to the side, and pulled me on top of his steel rod on the couch. He penetrated my depths with a squish of eroticism. Shane again held my head onto his member, matching my rhythm with his gyrations as I bounced on top of Derek, who was controlling all of my motion with his powerful body.

Shane bunched my dress up my body and lifted it over my head and Derek continued manhandling me. Then Shane reached down for my hand, and guided me up off of Derek and kissing me deeply. A string of Derek's slaps on my jiggling ass sent a shock through my body. Shane turned me around and bent me over Derek, inserting himself, and tickling up and down my back. My mouth hit against Derek's as Shane picked up the pace, deftly hitting against my cervix with not a tinge of pain and I yanked hard on Derek's cock. He pulled my hair back into a ball, driving my mouth over his thickness, the taste of my cream greeting my eager mouth with each of Shane's motions. Shane slid his entire length in and out at a rapid rate, his hands firmly around my waist, handling all of my action on Derek's fat, engorged dick.

Derek let out a breathy, "fuck yes" as the orgasm rocketed through me. "Oh fuck yeah!" I screamed into his chest, shivering on Bambi legs, and yanking his sex covered missile. "I'm gonna cum!" Derek shouted as his head threw back. Shane began a rabbit's pace, forcing me forward over Derek whose cock began pulsing in my hand. As the first hot strings fired out of him, Shane slipped out and pressed my cheeks together, spurting between them and up the small of my back. I took my hand off Derek's chest and gave Shane a few gentle strokes while clamping hard on Derek, feeling the last bits of their trembling explosions ooze over my fingers.

Exhausted and rubbery, I fell across Derek onto the couch and Shane plopped down on the other side, the three of us huffing in delirium.

"You got a towel or something?" Derek asked, through still bated breath.