All Comments on 'The Perfect Storm Ch. 01'

with interesting hints of underlying problems.

If you are going to keep going with short episodes like this one, please keep them coming as quickly as possible, otherwise the reader will lose the thread.

L

"Lila couldn't help noticing his incredible body. He was easily a foot and a half taller than her, though that wasn't hard seeing as she just cleared 5'2". His shoulders were impressively wide and his frame displayed lean but none the less powerful muscles. He was dressed in a black tank that seemed painted on perfectly displaying impeccable abs and gunmetal grey satin boxing shorts that exposed hard muscled thighs and calves. He reminded her of some sort of ancient nordic God with his pale skin and blonde hair which he wore just above his shoulders."

And Oh, of course he's rich. Sorry, but I went on bullshit overload when we reached his "perfect white teeth." Yeah, its fiction. Its also lame, predictable, and therefor boring. But don't stop; the kids will love it.

P.S. Don't screw up the scene where he's holding her up off the ground with one hand while pinching her nipples and fucking the shit out of her.