All Comments on 'The Perfect Wife Ch. 02'

I hope this isn't going the way it looks. Still great so far. 5 stars

Good chapter!

5

Recap was a bit long but good read.

Recap was long, not sure it was necessary. Enjoying so far

Thanks for writing

Unnecessary to cut this into such small pieces, especially since all chapters were supposedly posted at the same time. Why go to all that extra work and doing long recaps for a two page chapter? Are there really that many readers that have such a short attention span that longer than two pages is too much?

Most of this chapter was redundant. It is starting to drag. Hopefully the next chapter will get it back on track.

I anticipate a burning of the entire family. Oh yes, I can see the road we are on clearly!

Ditto on other commenters, much of this chapter was just repetition. You did lay hints for possible plot lines in this chapter. There's the trainer and, of course, the "family" disclosure. I get ripping up the prenup, but wonder why that would even come up at this point of their lives. 4.4*

Omega's plan to have the chapters come out at the same time. He has not said so but I can tell from the timing of the posting what happened. I have done the same thing. Submitting a story is not as simple as sending an email. You physically type in the title. (I've messed that up as we like with my 'unanticipated') The you insert your story and again physically type or copy and paste your short description. After you select category and language, you hit submit. That puts it into a draft form where you can look it over. At the end of all that you have to hit another icon to actually submit the work. If one or more of those steps is missed, the story goes nowhere. It sits in a draft file. It usually takes 2 to 3 days from actual submission to seeing it posted. Hence the skip of that time between his chapters.

The first page of this chapter just rehashed from his point of view what we got in chapter one from both his and her viewpoint. I was troubled by a “car dropping on him” as that seemed unclear, but at least by then new details were showing up. You have at least set the table for plot twists now between his injury, giving over control of his business, and suggestion that his wife may be cheating. Lol, it his sacrilege to misspell Hank Aaron’s name, though. 4.25!stars for this round.

Ohhhhh please, don't stop like that..... go on soon.....

A little disappointing.

The first page was redundant. and was not necessary. I hope the rest of this story is presented better.

First page was a waste of time. I almost quit reading because I thought it was a posted mistake. Please don't be one of those authors that DRAG a story out with a bunch of short page chapters. Just get the story out there! Reading a bunch of short page chapters is just annoying and off putting.

I agree with the comments so far. Also a lot of editorial issues. Happy to help if you need one I’m in the system. Sounds like the next chapter goes in incest.

. . . and this is the story about the "Big Ass Fan Company"! Don't believe there is such a company? Look it up or look up if you are even in an unconditioned warehouse!

Quite annoying about the cliff hangers

This is 90% a rehash of part 1. Why?

Thanks for sharing...

Pointless chapter, you’ve already dropped enough clues in the first chapter to understand where you are going with this story. The second chapter is many repetition, it also means that we are in for long wait before any type of conclusion. A tip would be to write more before posting,

How and why was he involved in an accident? A reader shouldn't be left wondering what is going on. That is why proof reading catches those lapses.

A five or six page first chapter with a two page second chapter. Only about a third of which actually advanced the story.

The word they are looking for is "waffle". really did not see the good this did for the yarn.

Wow, now you are just teasing us. Can't wait for the next chapter.

About 5000 words to summarise the previous chapter but in first person.

Totally unnecessary.

Can we pick up the pace a bit???

So far, so good, but I hope it doesn't go off the cuck rails. He seeds his power, tears up the prenup, she refuses sex, comes home and showers, loses weight, he's on painkillers. All things which could ruin the story. Still, looking forward to the next part.

It feels like the first half of this chapter was a repeat of the first chapter that added nothing.

What the fuck?! This was almost entirely a boring rehash of chapter one, none of which was necessary, or helpful to the story. The parts that were new, such as him being injured in an accident, were not particularly interesting, and didn't appear to usefully advance the story, although we will see where you go with this. It has been apparent from the first chapter that he eventually catches his wife cheating, is shocked and revolted, and runs away. Most likely it will turn out that his in-laws and wife are into incestuous sex with each other. Please hurry up and get on with the story. Chapter two was a total waste and should have been edited out entirely. Incidentally, regarding the statement "...to prove my mental stability would pass legal mustard", the word you were looking for was "muster", not "mustard". The phrase "pass muster" originally referred to the hiring of mercenary armies. A wealthy individual or a government would hire a mercenary force, and to prove that the agreed upon number of soldiers had been provided, the men would be "mustered" (lined up) to be counted. When the promised number of men was accounted for, then the army was said to have "passed muster".

Too many words, first chapter way too long and second could be one page.

Complete rehash of chapter one with only 2 new revelations.

3/4 of this chapter is repetition, and even with all the repetition isn't long enough to justify cutting it off

The first page was a needless repetition of the first chapter. The second you sorta ran through their life together. Like a screen montage on 2 x speed.

Is this chapter really a follow on? It read as if it was a stand alone story, possibly an outline or discarded draft. It felt a little rushed and disjointed.

Whichever it was, it added little to the story arc. Hope part three gets it all back on track.

An extremely disappointing chapter. Too much of it was an even more poorly written rehash of the first chapter and really added nothing to the story. I was relieved when you finally did add some new content, but there wasn't enough to constitute another chapter. I guess that's why you padded it with the bad recap.

Well, I thought this was a great story about a family that works and thrives together. But the ending suggests it doesn’t.

Typical.

Like others that have commented the repetition in Part 2 was annoying and I quickly lost interest, tbh, don't care where this story is going now

While page two was good, page one seemed unnecessary and a bit redundant. Hope you finish it up soon.

I don’t think you needed to tell us johns point of view of what happened in the first chapter, I actually feel it got in the way of the story. The accident, and the nine month rehabilitation seemed a little off also, if a guy in his thirties needs a nine month rehab, something catastrophic had to of happened. I know you were using it as a way to for Robert to find out Becky is fooling around with her family, but it didn’t work very well, for me, also those nine months went by in just a couple of chapters, which feels like it created a big hole in the story.

I’m enjoying the story so far but waiting to see where it goes from here. Thanks for the effort. KS

The descent that began in part one got a bit better, but the story was too far down my interest scale to enjoy it. Too many irrelevant asides (who CARES that Dad thinks IEs are not real engineers?). If it's germane to the plot, use it but work it onto dialogue, a scene (confrontation, etc.); too often, commentary, especially parenthetical, breaks the story flow and creates a pedantic quality. Also, back off the perfection. Allow normal, imperfect, or ugly people into your stories. Perfect people make WEAK characters because part of the art of storytelling is the "heroic journey," where the character changes and evolves as he/she overcomes. Tom Clancey said friends who read his early work didn't like Jack Ryan, because he was too perfect. Recall that he wrote Ryan as deathly afraid of flying, a bit too rigid sometimes, and not the choirboy he often came across as to the people in the books.

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Writing for the BTB crowd makes us create hyperbolic characters that are only defined by whether they are cheaters or the cheated. Stop that! Good people do bad things, and vice versa. Sure, the BTB crowd will dislike it, but the vast majority of readers do not comment. Write your story, not theirs.

Loved the first chapter, but this just reads like a rough draft of that chapter.

Noooooo. Clif hanger.

1/2 of Ch 2 is a recap, and not a lot in the 2nd half. The 1st chapter was awesome, if all chapters are done, why string them out? That said, you are a talented writer and thank you for sharing.

POV changes suck. End of story.

Fantastic start with five pages in chapter one. Half of the two pages in chapter two are regurgitated from chapter one. So, one page of chapter two continue what appears to be a well written, interesting story. Hopefully, chapter three will be more about continuing rather than more of chapter two.

Part 1 opens with this statement: "I posted all chapters at one time." That means that this author deliberately puffed this thing up. If the next Parts are similar, the whole effort could be easily contained in a regular sized 5-6 page entry. So far, there is nothing new here. The only interest is generated by the cliffhangers. The whole thing seems eerily familiar.

2 stars - for rewriting the whole story all over again, with about 1/2 page of new material.

Interesting story, but a bit too much “telling” and not enough “showing”; i.e., some parts read like a summary or an outline. A fun tale, though, well worth waiting for the next part. BTW, what does “A car landed on me” mean?

I think you had a great story that you wanted to tell, but when we read the first chapter and we do not need a whole synapses of it in ch 2. Plus when the MC was injured there was no description of how, what, etc. makes no sense. I hope ch 3 actually follows a logical path with some quality conversations that tell the emotions of the characters.

Good read in part one. Fair read in this part 2. Felt like the writer changed between parts.

10 stars isn't close. I just hope Becky isn't gettin' her pissy stuffed by somebody else. That would also screw up Robert, because he destroyed the signed pre-nup. Keep going, we need to see what happens!

So is she fucking Rico and Trey? Or Trey, Rico, and the Sales manager. That bitch. Hope her kids grow up motherless. I hope Robert kept the patents in his name, and revokes the licenses, the company that she stold goes bankrupt. He rebuilds it with the one in Lenoir. Finish the dam story.

Kind of contrived and presumptuous, as if a deep loving discerning relationship can be faked by a lying cheating deceitful whore. While the story illustrates the highlights and important scenes, its inescapable that these people live together 24/7, and the attitudes, moods, behaviors, mannerisms, the whole plethora of interaction between man, wife, and family, includes a million clues, tells, and insinuations that an intelligent perceptive person can hardly ignore. Which makes the coming "dramatic discoveries" telegraphed by the author lame and contrived. As if a person woke up one morning and suddenly realized that they were married to an aardvark, and somehow just now noticed. A cheating lying disrespecting contemptuous spouse is even easier to suss out than an aardvark. Aside from being an animal, the aardvark might actually have some affection for you. I mean, even the children are more observant than this deaf dumb and blind cuck.

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And I don't know if you understand the difference between appointing a temporary manager of a company, versus actually signing over Ownership of the company. OK, he's dumb enough to miss his aardvark whore, but he's supposed to know something about business law and management. As soon as he can think and talk he can resume participation in the operation of his company. Physical therapy involves a working brain. For him to essentially disappear from the company for nine months is just more puzzling lack of intelligence, and credibility.

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Not a perfect wife nor a perfect story. I hope you can restore some logic and reality to the plot.

Ok. This wasn't as well put together as the first chapter but still rated 4* from me.

This is looking like pure evil though and I love a good destroyer protagonist that absolutely wrecks slimy people.

The build up has me interested.

Okay, I enjoyed the first chapter quite a bit.

In this chapter, there was way too much repetition in going over the material from the first chapter, way too much. On top of way too much repetition, some of the details seemed to change.

So, work on that, less repetition of the previous chapter(s), and that should help you with the second problem, of having details change in that extended summary.

Lastly, more described sex, more erotica, please.

I have liked you characters until now, and I look forward to your next chapters!

CONFUSING.

Another "5" while I wait for the next part...

Confusing chapter. A rehash of chapter one with a little extra new stuff and the cliffhanger. Did I mention how much I hate cliffhangers?

Good story but disjointed.

Any commenter who uses all capital letters and exceeds 20 exclamation marks has officially lost their freakin' mind, irrespective of however little actually existed.

This was really a waste of a chapter, it added nothing to the story apart from telling us that they got married, had kids and that Bob got injured.

Very disappointing.

The first whispers of incest were there. Was she sleeping with men on the job whilst hubby was laid up

5/5

Ok..I'm confused.

Did two different authors write the 2 chapters? That's the only explanation I can think of.

This read like a different, less talented author was trying to tell the same story. If nothing else, because 90% of the story was repeated here. But the MC in this retelling had a different personality.

Is she cheating???

Robert should be booed. He’s clearly interrupting someone else’s Incest/Taboo story about a family in North Georgia with this nonsense!