The Personal Ad

It had been years since I had sex with another man. It was something that I had done all my life, through two marriages and a number of girlfriends. Like any male discovering female beauty, masturbating to girlie magazine was always a powerful sexual trigger. Sexual attraction to women and their bodies drives the male gender, it certainly did with me. There was another drive within me behind the scenes, sex with other males. Into my early twenties, I remember trooping downtown several times to a gay bar and hooking up with a guy. Things were looser back then and I was not looking for alcohol, I was looking to hook up for sex.

I was married at twenty-one yet still hooked up with guys from time to time. Between a very short marriage and my current wife, there were some hottie girlfriends yet also sex with other guys. One thing I found very exciting was to wear panties when having sex with guys, it just felt so good, so right, so natural. When I had sex with guys I always felt so wonderfully feminine. When I added panties and also lingerie to the mix it became a luscious sensation of gayness. Yet I got married again to a younger hottie and while the sex with other men was intermittent and not that often, my love of crossdressing blossomed especially when wifey was visiting her folks on overnight visits while I had to stay back and work.

Life, work and the relentless march of time led me to go from an increased level of crossdressing and sex with men behind my 2nd wife's back to eventually stop having clandestine sex with other men. It was just better that way and it was still a good marriage despite the secret of my closet homosexuality. And then over another span of time the wife's interest in sex disappeared as mine was stronger than ever. I did not want one-time anonymous sexual encounters, I wanted a boyfriend who understood, a boyfriend who might be married also, someone to be intimate with sexually for an ongoing affair. Knowing in my heart this is what I wanted I placed ad in the personals:

"Closeted male seeks understanding male to let him into his life. Not looking for one-time rocks off, no 'wham bam thank you man' hook ups. Looking for someone with whom we can get to know each other, cherish and enjoy man sex for what it is and how powerfully it resides in us. Let's make this interesting and fun. Who knows we might become boyfriends. I can be so many things for you, my inclination is being totally a bottom and rather submissive and even feminine sexually, yet I can be outwardly masculine if that works better for you, inside I will still feel the femme vibe. Cheers, Bobby."

Not surprisingly, I received many replies. After sorting through them all, and meeting a few guys for coffee, I met Randy. He was fun. He was much taller and buff than skinny ole me. He was divorced and living not far from where I worked. We hit it off right away. Sitting the coffee shop talking, laughing, smiling at each other we kinda knew there was potential. After over an hour of this at the coffee shop, he invited me over to his place for a beer or glass of wine. It was still early midafternoon and I had taken the afternoon off from work. We ended up on his couch with a glass of wine, both of us had 'Cheshire Cat' grins on our faces. When, after a few sips of wine, I slid closer as we then held hands. It was electric.

A few moments of holding hands and me smiling bashfully with doe eyes led Randy to pull me close. Our mouths melted into each other's in a hungry homosexual kiss. There is only one 'first time' with another person and this was fantastic. Kissing another man passionately is a pretty strong indication of homosexuality, and has always driven me crazy with sexual hunger. I should have known years ago how gay I really was but I kept living a straight life lie.

Our arousal was immense as I rubbed at Randy's manhood through his pants. This was so exciting. Feeling Randy's hard cock through his pants as we kissed, how hot was that? Very hot, as we soon shed our shirts and were two hot topless guys making out on the couch. Not being able to control myself, I unfastened his belt and zipped down his jeans. Freeing his cock to the touch of my hands led to no complaints from Randy. And I must say it was a rather nice large cock with a big helmet head, bulging with veins in a forest of dark hair. Any beta would be happy to come across a penis this big, hard and hairy, I certainly was. I soon mashed my face into his cock, drinking in its musky, manly scent, soon engulfing it in my mouth.

My greedy cock sucking on his nice big hard cock transported me back to the place I reluctantly had stayed away from. Seems as much as I fought it, coming back to gay sex was just too powerful of a pull inside me. After a few long, luscious cock sucking moments Randy pulled me up as we embraced by the couch with his powerful frame towering over me, a much skinnier and lithe male. Leading me to the bedroom, Randy was soon naked as I coyly pulled off my pants. I had no idea that day if we were going to hook up in this manner, but I took a flyer and wore a pair of pink silky string bikini panties under my male clothes. Doing this was something that just always felt so right doing when I was intimate with another guy, it was who I was inside.

Slipping next to a naked Randy in bed, when he whispered "Wow, you are so lovely," as we kissed and groped each other, I soared inside knowing being the femme one in bed with another man was my sexual identity. Our hungry ravishing each other was a dramatic expression of kissing, pulling on each other's cocks, pressing bodies together and Randy groping my cute pantie clad ass. As I slid down to resume sucking his cock, he told me I was "sweet and sexy"; things I loved hearing. I felt like such a girl. His cock was much bigger than mine and while I shaved my balls and kept my pubes manicured short and trim, Randy's cock was in a forest of thick dark hair as I mashed my face into it savoring the pungent manly scent of cock and balls.

By accepting that it was time to go for what I really wanted, it was no surprise how eagerly I sucked Randy's cock, bobbing up and down, gobbling it in and out, relishing the fantastic taste of his cock and the sexual stimulation it produced in me. Sex with my wife Annie was vanilla and uninspiring. Gay sex with Randy was bringing me back to the place I sought out from the closet. Sucking cock wearing pink panties was who I really was; fairy, fag, queer, homo, sissy, whatever you want to call me, it was intoxicating being femme and gay with Randy.

With my mouth lathering and bobbing over Randy's substantial cock, my own penis ached hard in my silky pink panties. After many long minutes with the horny, fleshy taste of cock in my mouth, Randy pulled me up and smothered me in kisses, biting and tonguing my ear, nuzzling his raspy face along my neck, pressing his cock into mine. When the kissing broke, we stared in silent amazement at our newfound union and lovingly stroked each other's cocks.

"This is so hot. You make me feel amazing," I cooed softly. "I've wanted someone like you for so long. I'm so gay. I love being gay with you," I went on. It was all true.

We resumed kissing and nuzzling as our erotic touchy-feely mutual masturbating each other's cock was building up to the coming orgasmic release. It was heated horny homosexual hand jobs we were doing on each other, kissing and panting and moaning when Randy rose over me pressing his body onto mine, pressing his cock onto mine humping and frotting. He climbed over me running his cock up my belly, over my nipples, mashing his leaking cock in my face, holding himself up by the headboard and the wall. With my head pinned on the pillow, I struggled to get the beast in my mouth as his musky cock and balls danced into my face, my arousal urging me on, sniffing and licking at it, licking his balls and shaft. Finally able to secure his cock in my mouth,

Randy fed me his cock in many agitated horny, thrusts when it began ejaculating huge gobs of warm nasty cum into my mouth as I sucked in, happy to have pleasured him in this manner. His tribal orgasmic moans broke any silence of the quiet afternoon as I continued to suck him off tasting and swallowing an ungodly volume of his thick warm nasty semen. It tasted divine, it had been so long since I had sucked cock and swallowed cum that I continued to suck, lick and sniff at his manhood as he kept feeding me his cock, using my mouth to get the last bit of pleasure from his ejaculation.

When he at last returned to my arms, he smothered me in kisses and whispered throaty loving appreciation in my ears. With me in his arms, one of his hands slid inside my panties in back grabbing a handful of ass, as his other hand fondled my aching penis, the panties mostly pulled down. A few moments of kissing with his middle finger fingering up my ass and his other hand stroking my penis was all it took for my own lovely ejaculation all over his hand and my belly.

More hungry kissing followed the consummation of our homosexual encounter as we slowly and lovingly came back to reality. What I just experienced was a total validation of how I felt about my sexuality and my decision to seek a gay lover. I was soaring and tingling inside. Randy got up and returned with our glasses of wine. It felt so natural to be in bed with another man, I loved seeing his naked hairy body. I loved being naked in panties having him see me this way. We clinked glasses together and I snuggled up close to him in the afterglow of our sexual tryst, my sticky cum all over me pressing into him. After a while I got to pee. When I returned, I was thinking maybe I should go, but yet did a sexy little wiggle in the pink panties standing next to Randy lying in bed.

Smiling, he began pawing at my penis in my panties as I grew hard again, tingling at the attention he was giving my growing hardness. It felt wonderful to be desired, wonderful to be fondled while wearing panties, wonderful to feel and act so gay. I knew I should go, but it just felt so good. Sliding back into bed with Randy, we kissed again madly as my hard little penis urged me on. I was possessed with horniness and looking up at Randy with doe eyes I began to masturbate furiously for him as he ran his hand through my hair and caressed my face.

It may have been embarrassing if I was masturbating for Annie, my wife. She had caught me masturbating before with expressed disgust, but jacking off in my agitation and arousal for Randy was beyond exciting, I just loved being on display and expressing my sexuality with him. In moaning huffs, I frantically stroked off, finally ejaculating for him as he smiled and held me. He kissed me on the forehead and told me "That was sweet".

"Don't hold it against me, but I should go," I whispered to him as we nuzzled faces into each other. "This has been wonderful."

He told me not to worry that he really wanted to see me again, which made me tingle. After getting dressed and heading out I noticed I had missed some of my wife's Annie's texts, asking "where are you?" I didn't think I had been out that late as it was only about the time, I usually got off work. Upon getting home I made up some excuse about running into someone as I was leaving work. In the past I was usually racked with guilt seeing my wife after a gay encounter; not this time. All I could think about was how awesome it was having sex with Randy and how I could scheme to see him again. Later that night I got a text from Randy telling me that how wonderful today was and that he really wanted to see me again. I felt like a teenage girl I was so elated by our affair.

After Annie went to bed I texted with Randy late into the night, telling each other how much we enjoyed it. He told me I was sexy and lovely. I asked him if I was too girly for him. When he told me I could be as girly as I wanted to be around him. My response was "even the whole nine yards?". He told me to be myself and do what feels right. I told him he had no idea how girly I could be. Randy told me he'd love to find out. In our back and forth to each other, I told him I'd take a personal day off from work to "put on a fashion show" for him. Randy loved the idea. He'd take one off also and we came up with the upcoming Friday.

After our back-and-forth texting ended, I was so aroused by everything, that I masturbated on the couch. Everything that had gone on that day revived my sexual outlook. I was possessed. I was a closet masturbator being married to Annie, so to have three stunning ejaculations that day, was special. It was exciting to feel so gay. In my texting with Randy, I told him that, that I was possessed with the feeling of gayness, that just the feeling of acting femme, faggy and gay really sent me into an exciting place. Friday rolled around and after Annie went to work, I took a soapy bath, shaved my legs and underarms, and what little hair I had elsewhere.

I painted my toes bright pink and did some eye shadow and mascara to have a leg up on makeup when getting to Randy's place. Fetching my "drag bag" from hiding, I got a few outfits for my "fashion show". Under my male clothes I put on some black lace leggings to be ready for the first 'show'. When I got to Randy's place, it was electric, we immediately hugged and kissed passionately. we were so glad to be back on each other's arms.

Randy sat on the couch with a glass of wine as I excused myself to get ready for the first showing. With the black lace leggings already on, I put on my 5" high heel silver strappy sandals, my pink toes showing lovely and bright. I put on a lavender satin bustier, my strawberry blond wig, a quick application of rouge and pink lipstick and I was ready in a flash. Admittedly, I looked fucking HOT!....stylish and classy also, a chic femme vibe. Randy whistled a cat call when he saw me sashay out to him, it was so fun and exciting. It was like playing hooky from work and hooky from straight married life to act as gay as I wanted. Randy got up and caught me playfully as I tried to scurry away; I melted in his arms as he kissed me hungrily and groped me all over. I told him "Just wait" as I seductively rubbed his cock through his pants. My own penis showed obscenely hard through the tight black lace leggings

With Randy sufficiently aroused and amused, I took a little longer with my next number, but not too long. In my years of closet crossdresser homosexuality, I learned that nothing is more stimulating than wearing a sexy dress, high heels, panties and stockings...except wearing all those wondrous things for an admiring male lover. Shear silver stockings, side tie silver satin string bikini panties, an iridescent lavender/blue/silver, thin, short spaghetti strap cocktail dress, my frosted blond sassy "Jane Fonda" wig, a quick application of makeup and luster pink/purple lip gloss and some stylish thin silver bangle bracelets and I was floating. As the click clack of my heels announced my entrance, Randy was drop jawed. He got up from the couch, handed me a glass of wine and we clinked glasses together, smiling. "Wow!" he said as he set our wine glasses on the coffee table and was then pulled me close looking deeply into my eyes saying "Wow, just Wow!. Look at you!".

With that he was all over me; kissing me fiercely, feeling my hard nipples through the thin material of my dress, reaching under the dress grabbing a handful of ass, then reaching in front and pulling at my hard penis through the panties as I was rubbing his cock through his pants. Dropping to the floor, I opened Randy's jeans and fished out his cock, pulling on the amazing hard beast. Mashing my face into it, the scent of cock drove me wild, I was back in the place I wanted to be. Plunging my mouth over it, Randy moaned as my warm, wet mouth sucked his cock. My own little penis ached hard in my silky panties. Cocksucker. Sucking cock. Queer. Homo. Faggot.

Aren't you a faggot if you wear a dress and high heels, panties, wig and makeup and suck cock? Isn't it more than a little gay to dress like a woman and seek sex with another man? Randy peeled off his shirt as his lovely little femme gay hussy devoured his cock. Tasted absolutely incredible, on my knees dolled up in heels, dress and sexy wig, feasting on a big hard testosterone laden cock. So. Fucking. Gay. Cocksucker, sucking cock.

Finally, Randy pulled me up for another hungry gay kiss as I pulled on his wet cock and he had a hand under my dress into my panties grabbing a handful of ass. His middle finger found my tight bung hole making me shudder, knowing today, Randy was gonna get laid. I whispered "wait for me in bed, I'm going to change". Randy got into bed naked as I blew him silly little kisses. The last outfit was more than a little gay and oh so me! Soft pink fishnet stockings with wide lace bands, sexy silky satin striped light pink girl's boxer panties, a matching pink demi bra. Over all this I wore a collared, medium hued pink, button-down man's shirt. Only one button was fastened at the bottom and the pink bra was visible easily with the shirt opened. It felt so sexy. I felt like a 'James Bond' girl.

Oh yes, I had on my hot pink page boy wig, very gay. And very hot. Chances are if you are gay enough to wear a hot pink wig you are very, very gay. I felt very, very gay. A married, femme feeling, effeminate, crossdressing closet homosexual understands this sensation quite - no one knows that the most exciting thing you have ever experienced in your life is dressing as a woman for sex with another man. In my high heeled strappy silver sandals, I sashayed in wiggling and vamping on my effeminate homosexuality. Again, the way I was dressed, the way I was acting, the things I was about to do with Randy are not things that a straight married man would do.

Standing next to him in bed, he reached up and fondled my penis tenting in the thin satin girl's shorts. I shuddered in sexual stimulation. It felt so good to be desired. Being girly, being femme and acting and feeling so gay was as exciting sexually as I had ever felt. This was a secret world, a sexual wonderland free from the stresses of 'straight' life. Sex with Annie was infrequent and "let's get this over with". I shed the shirt, still wearing the pink bra and pink satin pantie shorts as I crawled into bed with Randy, melting into his arms as he told me I was a hottie. His naked hairy body and big hard hairy cock was a joy to behold. Here we were taking time off from work to have sex, two men taking time off from work to have gay sex in the middle of the day. That sounds so gay. It was so gay. It was among the hottest things I had ever done, dressing up in different outfits like a sexy vamp for an adoring man. It was a feeling of sexual freedom and expression, the same as if I was in nothing but high heels and pink string bikini panties sashaying around in a crowded gay bar flaunting my flaming effeminate homosexuality for all to see. Yes, I felt that gay.

We melted together, Randy's big paws groping his gay little princess as we hungrily kissed with him tonging my ear. Facing his feet, I took his cock into my mouth as I wiggled my cute little pink girl short pantied ass by his face. As Randy's hand reached into to fondle my penis it made me jump a little as I devoured his cock, lavishing it with loving adoration with my warm wet mouth. The panties soon were pulled down as Randy paid special attention to my puckered pink boi cunny, fingering it and pulling on my penis and balls. It was fag heaven, but even more so when he pulled my cute little ass to my face and began licking my sensitive smooth shaved little asshole. The sensation had happened to me before, but never as wonderfully and as forcefully as Randy's warm wet tongue was now doing. It was nothing that Annie would have ever dreamed of doing to me. Getting your boi pussy licked by your man tells you what will be coming next. You are going to get fucked. Every beta knows this. When Daddy licks your boi pussy it means you will soon be dicked.