All Comments on 'The Plumber'

Rather mundane. You slipped in and out of first person at one point, and couldn't keep the character's names straight at another

Very hot. You do refer to Kim as "Corry" in several places which could have been corrected with a bit more proofreading.

This story starts well but I lost the thread in all the consecutive paragraphs that start with either "kim" or "lisa." It could use a good editor to make suggestions on how to vary your language so the reader doesn't get bored or tired. Also, the perspective changes between the two women are confusing and muddy; these changes desperately need clarification, and I think the wrong name may have been assigned to a few of them. Finally, who is Corry? I think you may have changed one of the character names at one point and possibly missed a few?

I had I hopes for this story but it was a blunder to read. There is no build up. The dialogue was without order. The sex although lesbian felt hetero. Just Awkward.