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"What kind of information would I need from the cops?" She asked.
"Well, for my first act as the official scorekeeper of the Ponytail Express, I found out where Mia Ryan lives and where she works."
Deb's smile lit up the dark room. She was deeply moved by the gift, but wanted to tease her new boyfriend.
"Fred, a present like that deserves a fist-bump."
- COMMENTS
Sniperkingabout 2 years agohave to agree with Anon. Her reaction really broke my immersion. Also him trying to relax control on Deb's. Its a good idea its just the delivery was bad. He can't morally justify what he's doing and he's still changing her no matter what he says
Anonymousabout 2 years agoI'll keep reading because the writing is fine and the setting new and interesting. But her reaction here is highly unrealistic.
