The President's Gay Wife Pt. 05

"A couple of paragraphs -- are you mad? Gerry and his Council with the exception of Alf will be there in support of the candidate?"

"Jesus, she's heading straight into Cabinet isn't she?"

"Darling, you know Kitty is my best friend. You'll just have to make up crazy ideas like that all by yourself. You could of course get the wink-wink break you need by chatting to the Prime Minister as soon as Kitty's win is announced. Meantime you may decide to observe how well the Council -- all Ministers in the recently dissolved Parliament -- relates to Kitty as if they know something. Wink wink."

"Magnolia I appreciate..." Murray, eyeing a pile of towels and wearing an apron, put down the phone because Magnolia had cut the connection.

The next day Murray and photographer secured their 'exclusive'. Not even the local press had been advised and the busload of Executive Council members that arrived in the village square just as the auction of pullets was about to end. The photograph of country people mainly dressed in farm clothes with suited politicians mixing with them, while in the foreground Kitty and her electorate party chairman were in a huddle with an almost toothless 85-year-old poultry breeder dressed in a cloth hat and red and blue shirt hanging over jeans halfway down to her gumboots. Kitty was caught on film dodging the beak of an aggressive rooster held by the woman with both women obviously enjoying the moment.

The President awoke slumbering Magnolia with a lick across the nose next morning to show her the photograph spread over five columns of Page 3 in theGuardian. "Look at our Kitty," he crowed.

"Wow, what a photograph."

"Yes, " he said proudly.

Magnolia shrieked, "The story beneath says 'PM refuses to comment on slip that Candidate Kitty will be next Foreign Minister'!"

"Yes," beamed her husband.

"It says here:

Minister of Housing Catherine Beauchamp made the colossal slip when replying to the Southampton Village community board chairman welcome at a hastily convened luncheon for Parliamentary big-wigs of the National Unity Party. The visiting delegation arrived unexpectedly in support of its candidate for the Sutherland Downs seat, Kitty Loveridge.

Delegation leader Prime Minister Sir Max Wallace invited Mrs Beauchamp to reply on behalf of the delegation. The gushy Mrs Beauchamp jumped to her feet and immediately made the faux pas: "This is an exciting time for Kitty Loveridge, this country's next Foreign Minister..."

Poor tell-all Beauchamp. She appeared to turn green and looked stricken as she turned to eye the Prime Minister but he simply grinned and called for her to continue.

"... if National Unity is swept back into power. Kitty is...The Minister then burst into tears and was led away by several women to the pub across the street."

"Ohmigod!" yelled Magnolia. That brought Skye running in closely followed Jane brandishing a meat cleaver. Magnolia continued reading.

The demonstrably calm Prime Minister continued the response. He said it would be presumptuous to either confirm or deny any talk about Kitty's political future until she was elected. "But I can tell you this, with Kitty Loveridge we have a lovely person who was born with a political spoon in her mouth -- both her mother and paternal grandfather having been long-serving Ministers in our Parliament. In my opinion she is the best private secretary our two Presidents have had. Now if that isn't an immaculate political pedigree I honestly don't know what is. We thank you for your hospitality in this charming village of yours and those of us who will be re-elected look forward to you good people voting in Kitty to join us. All of you people will be aware of course that Skyline Ranch in this electorate was given to the nation by Kitty's maternal grandfather, Admiral Sir Clive Bellamy and the site at Fitzroy Point of our nation's world-renowned agricultural research center remains a working cattle and sheep farm and teaching facility for two agricultural colleges. I thank you again for our welcome and assure you that if re-elected Mrs Beauchamp will retain her post as possibly the most effective and productive Minister of Housing this country has had in at least twenty years."

Magnolia said through misting eyes, "What a wonderful speech and huge support for Kitty who must be so grateful for Max extolling her like that."

"Grateful?" Gerry frowned. "Max told me the stupid cow Kitty attempted to kick him afterwards and yelled at him not to butt into her election campaign. They were all in the pub and everyone fell about laughing. I was told Max looked shattered, wearing a look similar to Mrs Beauchamp."

Magnolia almost knocked her teapot over rolling about laughing.

"Am I missing something here?" Skye asked. "Want me to go out and discipline that loud mouth Beauchamp woman Gerry?"

* * *

Election night was a busy time for the Prime Minister. Sir Max went to his own electorate headquarters first and his re-election result was one of the first confirmed. He then raced around the country by Air Force helicopter to visit marginal seats.

The President went to his wife's election headquarters -- a bar -- where everyone appeared rather low. Gerry saw Belle, the NUP's incoming chairman arrive and kissed her, being permissively allowed to fondle her breasts as he helped her remove her coat. He then went to the crowd gathered around TV sets. Skye saw him coming and announced, "Please welcome the President."

"Oh darling welcome," his wife said kissing and telling his two bodyguards to sit in a corner.

"How's it going here?" Gerry said brightly, and the looks he received including from Magnolia said it all.

"Hand me a computer print-out of progress results," he demanded.

"Here Mr President," said a party official. Only the results of three counting booths in so far but it's not good for us."

Lord Fitzroy looked at the results and smiled, "This is fabulous Magnolia."

"What!" cried the people crowded around him.

"You guys are looking at trends instead of analyzing to find reality. Look, New Age is 3% ahead in Albany and Sussex booths and 4% ahead in Meadowlea. Those are low-cost housing areas, strongholds of New Age who must be crapping and ready to capitulate to have scored such low margins. Just be patient and wait for the booths of the affluent hilltops come in. You'll cream in Magnolia, just as newspaper pre-election polling consistently predicted. Do you believe me?"

"Yes Mr President,"was the half-heartedly frp, everyone around him including his wife.

The nervous candidate for Mayfair Heights introduced her husband to party officials and then he kissed her. "Well done Lady Magnolia, MP for Mayfair Heights."

"My brain demands I contest that but my heart tells me to believe in my heart. I believe you darling. Thank you."

Openly tracing the outline of Magnolia's breast with both hands, Lord Fitzroy said, "Ask Belle for confirmation. She's the real expert on this sort of thing. I have a chopper on standby and am heading out to Sutherland Downs as I want to be there when Kitty's final result comes through, although we know from our closing polling what it will be."

"Yes, yes. I want you to be there darling."

"Thank you. I handed Skye tickets a few minutes ago for you Kitty and her to fly to England on Wednesday for only a week I'm afraid because our existing polling shows National Unity will need to enter coalition talks after final results are declared in eight to ten days' time."

"W-what. I can't believe w-what I'm hearing?"

"I've never heard you stutter before darling. Ask me later."

Lord Fitzroy was almost to the doorway when Belle wearing a telephone headset and waving a piece of paper yelled, "We're in Magnolia and team. It's a progress from the key booth of Rushmere. Listen. New Age 13, National Unity 127, all of the others are 12 votes or fewer but listen: Liberals 1327."

"But it only a progress."

"It's only one booth from the heights."

Magnolia asked calmly, "Tell us what you know Belle"

"We couldn't afford exit polling so I used the old method of vote differential taken from a traditionally stable polling both and using an extrapolation formula. Liberals will take Mayfair Heights."

"By a country mile," yelled the departing President.

"Lord Fitzroy is probably right," Belle conceded. "He works by instinct and having one ear on the ground while I work on data."

Lord and Lady Fitzroy were hailed as they entered the decorated Town Hall in the stone dominant city of Rockhampton, a few miles south of the massive stone quarries, largest in the country, the crowd parting, celebrating already although the final result had not been posted. At the far end of the gap was Kitty sitting with her campaign executive. She wore a pretty blue dress, no jewelry and sensible shoes. Gerry, having been home to change into a cream suit, black shirt and plain crimson tie, looked like a man who ran a country. Kitty ran forward to greet him, stopping two feet away to begin her welcoming words.

"Kiss, kiss, began the crowd and Kitty walked up to Lord Fitzroy, kissed him on both cheeks and then lay her head on his chest momentarily as would every daughter proud of her surrogate father would do. They then walked hand in hand towards the executive, now standing, to the warm handclapping of the crowd.

"Kitty, I'm son proud of you. Your result will be through in a few minutes but it is timely to confirm something before your keen supporters of your electorate. The Prime Minister of course is not in a position yet to announce his ministerial lineup. However, he had authorized me to tell you folk here tonight Kitty that you will be named this country's next Foreign Minister."

The crowd went wild, well, with some restraint because basically the majority were rural or country town and village people of conservative values.

Provincial final results were completed at 10:30 with final results to be posted before noon within ten days. Kitty took her seat with a preliminary majority of 27,301, an amazing result for an electorate with only 35,442 registered voters, not all voters choosing to vote of course with voting not being compulsory. The Prime Minister had his majority of 10,007 slashed to 6448 in preliminary country and his party appeared set to lose three seats including that held by his Minister of Housing. The Green Party increased its number of seat from four to five, the new Liberal party won four seats and the New Age party lost three seats with it's Leader's seat held on provisional count by twenty-one votes. The Law Reform Party, after eleven attempts, was set to enter Parliament with one seat.

Members of Parliament representing the badly mauled National Unity Party, with all but two with reduced majorities, many severely reduced, and three losing their seats, began arriving at party headquarters for the subdued celebrations. The defeated Mrs Beauchamp cheered when the Prime Minister had a quiet word with her and she was told she would be appointed chairman of the Housing Commission within six months and that the post carried a salary three times of what she received as a Minister. She soon became the life of the party although that rather puzzled her former colleagues who believed one should accept defeat with dignity. Somehow Mrs Beauchamp managed to keep her mouth shut about what was making her so happy.

The general gloom continued until at 12.20 when successful new candidate Kitty Loveridge arrived with her guest new Liberal member of Parliament, Lady Fitzroy.

They walked in, hand-in-hand happily waving.

The drunken Lady Marsh, attending as of right because her resignation could not be accepted until the next meeting of the party's executive, whispered to her husband Sir Richard drunkenly yelled, "Ah here come our two illustrious gays."

"Grrrrrrrrrrr," yelled a charging woman in a blue and gold tracksuit, both hands held about her head like an executioner.

Lady Magnolia waited until Skye was barely two yards from the couple, now on their own as people around them scattered, "Skye heel!"

"On your knees you two and apologize."

Sir Richard and Lady Marsh dropped clumsily to their knees and said, almost together, I apologize Lady Fitzroy and Kitty."

"Thank you, those apologies accepted by me," Magnolia said. "What about you Kitty, being wrongfully maligned like that?"

"Oh, it's okay. I don't want Skye to kill them and they should be allowed to remain in the party and rewarded for past services and patronage with honorary membership. Pick them up Skye and ask them kindly to bring drinks to two very feminine ladies."

People clapped, agreeing it was a satisfactory outcome and Magnolia shouted, "Iona, please have the champagne broken out for everyone and charged to me. Many of you have wounds to lick so let's party!"

Chapter 16

The three travelers took it easy on the first two days in London, recovering from their long flight although they'd traveled business class. When pressed who was paying for their very expensive visit -- the hotel was very up-market -- Kitty finally wore down Magnolia who admitted, "Gerry is meeting half the cost but it's not all his money."

"That's very generous of him. I tackled him and all he'd say was, 'There was a whip around. I cannot say anymore'. So I pressed him and he assured me the funding was legal and no, the Prime Minister's slush fund had not contributed."

"Darling, I don't think you understand just how grateful Gerry is for what you have managed to have done with me. I'm ever so grateful."

"Poof, anyone could have done what I..."

"Cut the crap Kitty. Go to the toilet Skye."

"I don't need to go Magnolia. I don't have excessive sex as you do so I have great bladder control."

They laughed and Skye grinning said she'd walk the length of the aircraft hassling guys to allow Magnolia and Kitty to talk in secret.

Magnolia said, "The Bureau is contributing under pressure from the Prime Minister who argued that Skye needs international experience including long-haul travel. She has to undergo two days of study but is excited about that. Max's chief of staff has wangled a grant from the British fund available for displaced persons with direct links to peerage to reunite with direct family through a visit to Britain and I hit on Jim to contribute and..."

"Oh no Magnolia, how could you!"

"...and he organized three gambling nights at the press club for a $500 prize with any profits from 'the house' going to you for an overseas holiday in recognition of your service to journalism and fairness in dealing with parliamentary news teams during your service as private secretary to the President."

"But that's a disgusting con and the journalist would know that."

"Of course they would do, but you know media journalists and their addictions to booze and gambling. Jim was handed just over $7500 by the club president and was told it was in recognition of a worthy cause and that as an MP you would be invited to become club patron so over the years members would benefit through the financial support of their patron with her sponsorship of the pre-Christmas Party."

"My God, what a roundabout way of handing across $7500. Silly Jim would have been much better off just giving you the money from his own pocket."

"We did discuss that darling but agreed that would cause you to hit the roof. So we hatched out the plan for the gambling night but unfortunately you will be clobbered by being invited to become patron."

"Well, that's fine. Presumably being patron will encourage the media to hold back just a tad when I make cock-ups with our country's foreign policy."

"Yes darling. I would agree with that. Gerry thinks like that all the time. I'm surprised you are reaching such political maturity so early in your career."

Kitty's face flamed.

They caught a fast train from St Pancreas Station to Loughborough, north of London in the Midlands after leaving Skye with her Scotland Yard liaison officer with whom she would be briefed over two days about security measures given to various levels of VIPs and talk to some of the unit commanders and inspect crime labs and learn about surveillance methods, before being delivered back to the hotel each day. Skye official study visit had been arranged under London's police and security interface and exchange agreement with Commonwealth member countries.

At the end of their one hour and forty minute train ride, the elderly Mullins met Magnolia and Kitty at Loughborough Station. Magnolia rushed the manservant who stood rigid, greatly embarrassed as she hugged and kissed him (good God on a busy railway platform in full view of the public of all places)!

Kitty remained back a little but heard Mullins say, in a highly emotional voice, "Lady Fitzroy, this simply will not do."

"Kitty, over here," Magnolia said wiping away tears. "Kitty, may I present you to my parent's lifetime manservant Mullins, who stood by my parents and me throughout our darkest years. Mullins, please say hello Kitty."

"My ladyship. That I cannot do until I have been given your guest's full name including title, if any, to allow me to greet your guest properly."

"Sorry Mullins, Kitty is fine with me and here's a wee kiss. We are from the former Colonies so anyone knowing you and witnessing this will simply report this shocking breach of protocol to their friends as involving unwashed idiots from the Colonies."

"Miss Kitty, I would go to the grave in shame if I were responsible for your deportation from Great Britain because of your irrelevant attitude towards the protocols of peerage."

"Come on Mullins, you're pulling my left tit."

"Miss Kitty, oh God."

"Back off Kitty, you are far too much for poor Mullins. Lead on with our overnight bags Mullins. A taxi I would think?"

"You think correctly my lady."

Kitty whispered to Magnolia, "He's a darling, just as you said he was."

* * *

Kitty looked out the taxi window as the restored hotel now the manor house with the abandoned piece of land alongside it having being purchased by his lordship to have surrounding land to justify calling his new home a manor house. "Wow, it's huge."

Lady Fitzroy just smiled leaving it to Mullins to sniff, "In terms of space our servant's quarters were larger than that at our previous 384 year old manor house from which we were displaced Miss Kitty."

"I see, but at least it's a leg up from a country pub at a crossroads in the middle of nowhere Mullins."

"Oh true, oh God how true Miss Kitty."

Magnolia smiled. "Miss Kitty throughout my late teens and twenties Mullins always promised me our family's fall from grace would end one day on an uplift that would see us right. We tried to believe him b-but it was d-difficult."

Kitty hugged Magnolia and said, "It'd a fine home for retirement although I'm rather disappointed at the tiny size of the village."

"I warned you it was small."

"True Magnolia but you could have given me a clue by saying it would fit into Tunbridge Mall and its vehicle parking areas."

* * *

Mullins led the two guests into the drawing room where Lord and Lady Quorn were watching re-runs of old films of fox hunting on their former estate.

"Lord Quorn and my lady, I announce the arrival of your youngest daughter, the Lady Magnolia Fitzroy from London and beyond and accompanying her is Miss Kitty of unknown pedigree..."

"Hi mommy, hi daddy. Kitty's maternal grandfather was a naval cadet on the one of the rebel gunboats that destroyed some of the British flotilla in 1920 after they were caught napping. Kitty's grandfather later became Admiral Sir Clive Bellamy."

"By joves Kitty," said Lord Quorn, plucking his moustache, "My father would have met your maternal grandfather as he was first Governor-General of your nation on its independence in the mid 1920s. Of course we British paid for sending the clapped-out HMS London from our Far East Fleet rather than peeling off a modern battle cruiser from the Mediterranean Fleet. Another stuff up by the Admiralty, eh what?"