All Comments on 'The Priest Ch. 01'

Very sensual relationship - I hope you can develop this in some interesting directions.

The pretext of the story is good and I can see this running into several episodes. However, the flow of the story-telling was constantly interrupted by unnecessary commas; I had to re-read many sentences to understand what you were saying.

When you review your writing I suggest taking a breath every time you get to a comma and see for yourself how the flow is broken by each unnecessary comma.

M

Very good job at describing a very hairy pussy! You also included the treasure trail and the inner thighs. gave you a 5 for the description

Love the religious aspect, risky and horny, reminds me of my past