All Comments on 'The Raimon Siblings Ch. 01'
by SoaringClouds
- 30 Comments
Anonymousover 5 years agoGood startup to a story... keep going can’t wait to see what changes there relationship dynamic.
LoganFC23over 5 years agoGreat start! You did preface that it’ll be a long story. Hoping to read the continual development of the characters and story.
Anonymousover 5 years agoso far the only thing I learned from this is your main character is living in a toxic environment, no mention of why he and his stuck up bitch of a sister are living with their aunt and uncle, maybe future chapters will clear it up but so far I see nothing to keep me waiting
Anonymousover 5 years agoWhat's the problem Anonymous (both of you). If there's no fucking by the third paragraph it isn't worth reading? Move on.
Anonymousover 5 years agoWell.....not a bad start. You are developing the characters and I can see this going in many directions. I look forward to see how the interaction goes between the siblings. Thanks for your time and imagination.
Anonymousover 5 years agokid needs to get in the weight room and take some self defense classes so he can defend himself. why aunt and uncle and not mother and father. that needs to be explained.
Robinius1over 5 years agoVery good start to your story. I'm starting to care what happens to the protagonist and your writing is of good quality. Question: If his sister took his car to school why did she get a ride home? I guess chapter two will reveal that.
By the way, I found the opening dream scene pretty hot. Waiting for chapter two! Oh, and thank you!
Anonymousover 5 years agoI already want to read on! (Please ignore negative comments) this is the first chapter and I can tell by the way you’re setting the story up that all questions will be revealed we just need to be patient and let you write your magic! How long do I have to wait before Chapter 2??
Anonymousover 5 years agoI'll go two stars so far, and see how it goes. Maybe get an editor for future chapters?
Anonymousover 5 years agoThe writing is good, but damn, that's a depressing start. There's really not much of a hook that makes me look forward to chapter 2. It's a pity.
Jdavis77over 5 years agoYou got me wanting more even with no sex a down on his luck kid that has a crush on the popular girl in school who is also his sister only got one question do the kids in school know there brother and sister because if they do and they know he has a crush on her shouldn't he be picked on more. And one more thing what happened to the parents did they died please keep going and tell all
Orthopodeover 5 years agoBut if the next one is as depressing forget it. You write well, your characters are thought through but really, cut the poor guy some slack or he's going to slash his wrists open on you
Anonymousover 5 years agoNot good, who wants to keep reading something so depressing, seemingly with no upside.
blackknight314over 5 years agoPlease let this kid start letting the bastards that he lives with have it. They all deserve some humiliation.
Anonymousover 5 years agoThree depressing pages of something that should contain incest between siblings, with only one paragraph that describes an old guy sucking a cock
Anonymousover 5 years agoIt may be depressing, but that could just be character development. Let the writer continue his work, it all might end up happy or whatever in the end. Some people write stories to get things off their chest, then go into more detail about writing stories. Everyone has a different PoV in life. Let him enjoy his view the story, and when he is done. He can probably rewrite it the way you guys wish it was wrote. I like the depressing part, it gives the story feeling. :3
Anonymousabout 4 years agoThis was very good love the plot twist at the end and can't wait for chapter 2 hope it comes soon. Good job on the story
Anonymousover 3 years agoAre you going to continue the story? I found it to be very interesting and I want to see where the characters go from here...
MADDOGINTEXASover 1 year agoWhat a so, so, SSSSOOOO strange story...and left hanging...no sequel in sight!! WHY is there no follow-up, after all this time??
Kaeley is his SISTER??!! WHAT A CUNT!! Leica her 'jock buddies' bully him?? She is a 'bully-by-proxy', desert we something bad in her KARMA account...
Only **4** stars....
Anonymousover 1 year agoCriminal complaint for car theft for the sister aided by aunt and uncle.
With another against the jocks.
Probably won't go anywhere but then there would be a police reports on file🤔
SoaringClouds@SoaringClouds
