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"Well that was ridiculously sexy. Now I need to take care of this again," he said, looking down at his revitalized erection. "Wanna help me out?"
"This never happened!" Leah flipped onto her side, facing away from him, and pulled the blanket tightly into her. She shut her eyes and tried to block out the shame that was taking hold of her. She had just openly pleasured herself right next to the man she supposedly loathed more than anyone else. Worse still, she had done it while he described how he was going to fuck her and make her his slut, all behind her boyfriend's back. The situation had gotten so completely out of control that it didn't even feel real. Maybe it was a dream, she thought. She let the hopeful idea live in her mind as she drifted off to sleep, the rhythmic sounds of Ethan beating his meat again behind her.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 2 months agoInteresting premise.
Really all buildup for what presumably will follow.
Could have used some dialog during the masturbating events.
What does she think of/visualize when she's masturbating? Is it her doing things to someone else or things being done to her?
Does she like having he pussy eaten? Does she like giving blowjobs? Does she swallow? Does she enjoy swallowing?
Three stars.
Sarahlovesto69about 2 months agoThis is exactly the kind of story I would write - and you did amazing!! Can’t wait for part 2 :)
vzbabout 2 months agoExcellent work! It's well-written, and I love the premise. That slow, losing battle where the character's head wants one thing but her body overrules her -- delicious.
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On the question of character descriptions: I don't think it's all that important to give specific physical characteristics (like, should-length strawberry-blonde hair, 36C breasts, etc.). You certainly can if you want, but the reader is capable of filling in those details himself with whatever he or she likes.
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But what I think would help is fuzzier, more abstract character descriptions that imply something about what kind of *person* someone is, rather than just what kind of body they have. For instance: is Leah athletic, nerdy, glammed-up, kinda plain, etc.? Does she dress sexy, or is she a jeans & hoodies kinda gal? Sorority girl, bookworm, something else entirely? Outgoing & confident? Shy & awkward? Did she grow up religious? With money? Is she a top student or is she just going through the motions to get her degree? For that matter, what is she studying? (A Chemistry major feels different from Business feels different from French Poetry.) Etc. etc. etc.
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Obviously you don't have to answer every one of these questions. My point is just that this is a story about a woman being worn down and ultimately surrendering herself to a jerk because she's overcome by lust -- it really adds something (to me at least) if we know exactly what kind of person it is who's being overcome.
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Anyway, food for thought. Outstanding first story - please write more.
