All Comments on 'The Reveal'

This was a great short. I would have enjoyed a longer version of this story but besides the length it was great.

Thank you for writing and posting here.

It was very good, but felt a little rushed at the end. Even the editing feels rushed with "im cuming!".

Brand New Writer, and I have a long way to go. I super Appreciate your Feedback, I am working on a part 2. I will try to even the pacing so it is longer and flows better. I definitely need to work on my editing. Overall i want to keep improving on my writing and I love to hear what you all think, so again Thanks!

I gave this story 4* because it seemed really really short. Another person wrote rushed not sure if that is right or not but it does feel that way!

I liked the pace of the story. This tale needed to be told bang-bang-bang. But I would have to agree that it was over very quick. As is often the case in real life. 😂. I think it would have been better if you had taken it to the next stage of her either bending him over in the alley or taking him back to her place. You say you are working on a part 2 so perhaps that’s what you have in mind.