All Comments on 'The Rise of Scally God'

Of all the BDSM stories I read, this is unique. I actually appreciate the author for putting whole lot of small details about Master, slave and their backgrounds. But my appreciation ends there. The story doesn't answer what slave does and why in the relationship and how it all started. For a man from good place, he isn't desperate to grovel and take whatever it is given by a scally teen, there's everything that can go against this. But somehow this happens, to the point that there is no red line and no end. slave is not enthusiastic, in the story, but behaves like a robot, to cater pleasures of Master and obey his orders. Master's attitude is no way a good one. There is only take and fake give in the relationship as Master pleasures on humiliation, feeds on submission, lives on payment (no way BDSM), doesn't better his or his slaves life but goes on to actually destroy the family and feed on everything that can be exploited. This is a story of well off man's sort of mind controlled by a good for nothing teen and play as he wish. There is not a single NO to Master, no hesitation, no discussion, no privacy, no respect, no humility, no boundary, no intimacy, no love. The driving force for the slave in the relationship is said as accepting superiority of the teen by him in race, dick size, what else? A man of Khan's calibre know race and dick size superiority amount to nothing. So if this is kink, it should have stayed private, outside everyday life, but it isn't. If it's not a kink but belief, then there is a serious issue of what a person and his life is, because it defines and dictates the man.

This is wrong in many senses since this is not about persons kink/act, but about belief and person himself. Of the elaborate explanations given, the one lacking is why Khan accepted the treatment by broke teen and let him, and only him conquer his life, not caring consequences. I think this should be placed in mind control, domination, interracial, fantasy, taboo categories than gay sex. The only gay act is dick sucking.

I want to give stars for all the efforts, but I read whole story to find meaning here, and what I got is not I like. This one tested my sanity.

Hi Kunal,

Many thanks for your comment on my story. Very appreciated. Negative, positive, indifferent criticism - I welcome it all!

I agree, this is not a "normal" erotic story and I made that clear in my notes but I understand you wanting to know more. It is not a story that was ever going to be liked by many or be given many star ratings. But that was not my motivation for writing it.

There are many layers of hidden meaning which need to be teased out by the reader. So I'm a little disappointed a man of your obvious good intellect has missed them. You write and elaborate well so I have no doubt you can, if you just overlook the purely racial angle, see some of these hidden meanings and understand some of the depth to the story beyond what lies on the surface.

Karl in many ways is the real "scumbag", he has no education, no manners, no finesse in anything he does but in his defence, his upbringing does not produce a polished young man. What you see is more or less much of what you would find in any young man raised in such appalling circumstances., in terms of his unrefined ways but each man has his own distinct personality. Karl's knife-scarred face, his environmental conditions, his deficient parenting, etc. The list is long! Karl misses bonding with an older father-figure man, he misses the luxuries of life he sees others enjoy yet he is gifted young martial artist and courageous, confident young man. Gulzar is a man who he befriends and he sees an opportunity in him to take from him much of what is lacking in his own life. The fact he has his mother's example before him of rich, successful men wanting to submit themselves to her feet only encourages him, not least the example of the Pakistani Harvard scientist.

As for Gulzar, he is gifted in just about everything any man could ever aspire to. His intellectual muscle alone puts him heads and shoulders above many men. Then you have his natural good looks, his handsome Pashtun features, tall and strong build etc. He can have the best of everything in life and does. He wears the best clothes, the most exclusive watches money can buy, he has a gorgeous wife and family, drives the best cars and to cap it all he is an exceptional martial artist too. But, unlike Karl, he has spiritual side too. He does not want arrogance to be part of him in any shape or form. What he is getting from Karl is an opportunity to be humble, to let him break down his (Gulzar's) own potential feelings of superiority and perfection. By submitting to a "nobody" like Karl, he is accepting that humans are equal, that Karl is less fortunate than him but not naturally any less a man, nor any less a human being. Do I not say Gulzar finds fulfilment in his relationship with Karl? The fact he is paying money to Karl is all relative, to Gulzar it is less than a packet of peanuts, to Karl it is more than he could have ever dreamt of getting for so little "work".

The interracial dimension in my story is only to facilitate highlighting Karl's unrefined nature (to the extent his uses race in his scheming) and Gulzar's opportunity to express his humility to someone who is neither a Muslim, nor a Pakistani. Now this interracial aspect could have easily been accommodated with having, for example, an Indian Hindu young man and in many ways, given the nature of historic issues between those two countries, it would have served the purpose better for Gulzar to convince himself, despite all his success in life, he is only human and to him as a humble man, all humans are equal, and that he should never let feelings of superiority be part of him. But then a young Hindu man, while it would have narrowed the racial divide, would have opened a whole lot of can of worms! Whereas a White scally boy in that sense is a more acceptable choice.

Since this is purely fiction I wrote, not fact, of course there are many aspects of the story which are unrealistic. Bear in mind, much of the extremes to which Karl intends to take the Khan family are his fantasies. The breaking up of Khan family does not actually happen in the story, that to the end remain Karl's dreams. The fact Gulzar's wife and daughter are sexually attracted to the exotic young stranger in their midst is just them being human.

But why the White on non-White theme to the whole story? Again the race/religion are immaterial. You can make the story work equally well with any two distinct races or religions/no-religion. My two reasons for choosing what I did are 1) I have very good familiarity with both western and eastern culture, as well as fairly good grounding in world faith traditions. Moreover, I have worked extensively with young, troubled people living in Europe's underprivileged areas. I know the poverty, frustrations they face in life and how many are often tempted to go to extremes to better their life, or rather, do what they believe to be bettering their lives. The outcome is often heart-rending. And my reason 2) There are many Black, Turkish, Muslim men dominating White men and women in contemporary porn and erotic literature. I seek to give a different angle to my stories.

Also note, Karl acknowledges he has gradually climbed out of his rut to some extent over the three years since his relationship with Gulzar started and now has a job. He also acknowledged he has appreciation for Khan's culture and spiritual side, the "highest respect" in fact. Where are these qualities brushing off on him? How is he improving over the time? Again, all the clues are in the story itself including how he is able to write so well given lack of education (His mum helped him).

You will notice, in the epilogue he writes, he is a changed man, his attitudes are markedly different to when he was writing of the events three years ago. He is a changed and a changing man, growing out of youth and maturing in to a more refined man while still remaining "essential the same person".

I intend to request a category switch from "Gay" to "Fetish" but I first need to re-structure some paragraphs to improve the story flow.

Anyway, again, many thanks for your feedback.

All the best!

I appreciate the effort and time that went into the story. I also love the angle of complete domination, humiliation and degradation of not just the man but his family and their finances! Love that. Sadly, however, the story doesn’t explain or describe the process leading up to it. No small acts of submission and dominance leading up to a big moment of mutual recognition and acceptance and being past the point of no return. There is only the inexplicable point where he puts his foot on his face. Why did he do it? In a gym with others? Without a lot more lead up to that point it is too unbelievable.

To Anonymous: Comment Dated 29.12.2021

There are a number of points here:

1) This is my very first story written all on my own without any advice, support and my second story. Naturally there is a lot of inexperience as an author.

2) Regarding the small details of Gulzar's submission, it would have stretched a an already very long short story to a very very long one! You do find in the story Karl explains he had been grooming Gulzar gradually, incrementally to bring him to the current level of submission. Gulzar obviously does not have to submit, he has it all but he has weaknesses and it is a given he craves being controlled by someone he can look up to as superior. It is just a facet of the story and the domination element that that person is younger, small, White scally boy who is overflowing with confidence and knows the power of his bare feet. It is a given fact from the story Karl is very dominant and Gulzar despite everything positive in his life finds better fulfilment under Kar's feet, a slave to his power and feet. Of course, once Karl records evidence of Gulzar's submission, he is then able twist his arm to take his degradation down to the next level!

3) To demonstrate Karl's complete control of Gulzar it had to necessarily include all his family, not even sparing his old mum. She had to be used too by Karl, in this case on internet granny porn.

4) As long a story as it is, I believe a slow careful reading of it, perhaps a re-read will allow the reader to better pick up the subtle hints and clues that give a broader picture. I do believe I have touched on many of the points you have raised even if not in the kind of detail you would have liked to see.

Anyway, thanks for the feedback!

BTW: I have now made minor edits to the story to make the flow a little better. It is now better structured I believe and some paragraphs have been re-arranged. However, it still tells the same story, leaving the readers to fish out the detail and somewhat fill in the gaps according to their imagination!

I know very well about my own community. As soon as I realized that I may fall into one of my relatives and get humiliated by giving away my virginity, willingly or otherwise, I looked for a desirable man, who I would love to take me. After four months, I found one, but he was a sweeper in my school. A little embarrassed, I decided to seduce him, because he would not dare do it. We continued the relationship for eight months, until I was out of the school, and had taken admission in a college (our town did not have a college then), and found many young men from different community to sleep with willingly. Still I did not marry outside my community. I married at the age of 31, when I got a chance to immigrate to Singapore.

Zahida

Wow, what a great story! I love the martial arts theme, the fact that Karl practices taekwondo, karate and kickboxing. Stories about dominant martial artists are very rare. A side kick to the head is my one of my favorites, nice that Karl starts off with that. A well-performed side kick looks so elegant and you described it perfectly, how this fighter scally raises his knee, bends his upper body sideways and kicks the sharp arch (instep actually) to the slave's forehead. And the part in which Karl's toe rests on the the slave's head, that's a front kick, I guess. So hot when he looks at himself, how he stands there balancing on his left foot like a black belt taekwondo champion, enjoying the power trip to a maximum. I also like hook kicks and spinning hook kicks, because they are so sharp, elegant and aggressive. Would love to read more. Perhaps you could also describe Karl's gear, his white (point intended) dobok or gi or his Muay Thai shorts and boxing gloves.

Thanks for your encouraging comment, Subchink! I read your story too and liked it very much. Our stories are in the either "love it or hate it" category. There is not much middle ground since we are pushing the boundary in many ways. We project the White man as the dominant over the non-White man. This idea troubles many readers. The established theme for raceplay is BBC destroys White men and women. That is generally considered acceptable and "non racist" and to honest, neither do I consider erotic fiction, written as just that, erotic FICTION, racist when Blacks or other non-White man is projected in the dominant role. With the Rise of Scally God, I wanted to use the same them, only with roles reversed. As for Kar's gear, I wanted not to be drawn in to too much detail as I felt the story was quite long as it is. It would have been shorter and allowed more scope for the kind of detail you would like to have seen had it not been for the fact, I had to write the story in such a way that there had to plenty of background detail to Kar's life and describing his motivations or compulsions behind his conduct. Had that not been the case, I feared the story might have been rejected outright for deviating to much from the norm. My next upcoming story is based on White on White domination. I have written it in slightly different style but you will find a determined, strong young White man in it!

Definitely a darker story than most, but for those who can temporarily/occasionally indulge in a bit of a raceplay fantasy, a scorching hot story! Karl is an unforgettable character, a scally chav who rises up in the world through sheer, inherent dominance. He's written to perfection by W_D who fleshes out the character and builds a world... those who can't tolerate raceplay can move along, but this is fantastic (and, it bears repeating, fiction).

This is such a great story. I wish to read more about Karl's journey. Him taking other bigger, older men under his wings and taking over their lives. Wish you had done a story on him and Danny and his gf as well.

I keep coming back to this story. It's incredible!!! Author, I wish you'd write a sequel to this where Gulzar and his two sons as well as Danny worship Karl over multiple pages. It'd be incredible!