The Ritual Pt. 05

But she felt something in her chest, not pain, but something that was hard to explain, it was a feeling like being intoxicated but more special, one of pure elation, something that her mind couldn't understand but her heart could. Maybe she was in love with her and this was the feeling. But...

"Tev, what of the goddesses, what of their teachings, of the Oath?"

"To hell with them right now, just tell me what you feel, do you love me or not?

"I... Tev... Please... "

Zulara didn't want to answer because deep down she knew the truth, she wanted to be faithful to the path laid out in the scriptures, she was sure of it in her mind, but yet, being held by her lover, looking into her eyes, feeling her breasts against her own, she knew what she felt for her.

N'Tevelle leaned into her face and started to kiss her passionately, both of them moaning softly when their tongues met. "What of the Oath we are to take it in a few days?" Zulara asked, breaking the embrace.

"Forget it and come live as an outcast with us." N'Tevelle whispered softly between kisses.

"Us?"

"Yes, I've talked to a few other students who feel the same way, the stories we are taught about the outcasts are overblown. We get our own island and can live how we want to." She took Zulara's hands into her own to emphasize the next statement. "As long as we have each other, we don't need anything else. But I need to know if you feel the same way, do you love me or not."

"Wait, are you asking me to make a life altering decision right now? Tev we just because adults not to long ago, we are about to take the Oath and you're asking me to give everything up and life with you on some island?"

"Zulara can you really give up what we have, think about it, we won't be able to have this relationship we have now, and you want to live your entire life without sexual satisfaction, just because some goddesses long ago wrote in a scroll that if we love each other we won't find our true race? Well, I don't believe it, I believe in what my body is telling me now, in what we have together, we can be happy, we won't have to live by their rules at all."

Zulara couldn't believe what she was hearing, but N'Tevelle made some good points. While Kafkan didn't have sexual relationships, they did have a form of prostitution, it was professional and more clinical than on earth, its purpose to clear the mind of lust so one can focus on more important aspects of life. As an outcast Zulara and N'Tevelle could enjoy their bodies as much as they wanted and despite her best efforts this thought was very attractive to Zulara. It seems she had more sensitive breasts than even the average Kafkan and the thought of being able to have N'Tevelle suck on them whenever she wanted made her pussy moisten. She also didn't know what her role in life was going to be. Once graduation and taking the Oath one of the counselors under the Mistress of Child Education and Development would recommend what career one should take, but ultimately it was the young woman's choice.

Zulara thought about everything and could not deny that she had feelings for N'Tevelle, she also could not deny that living without the sexual release she could get from her lover would be a difficult one, she had to think about it.

"Tev, I'm not going to deny that we have a special relationship, and that our love making isn't amazing, because it is, but I can't give you the answer you want right now. I need some time; I've spent my whole life living in accordance with the goddesses and to just throw that all away... "

N'Tevelle pick her up in her arms before she could finish and walked them out of the pond, Zulara clutching around her lovers neck at the sudden movement, she was put down and the grass, both their bodies still naked and dripping wet, N'Tevelle laid down next to her and got her body in position so that they both could suck each others breasts at the same time.

"Maybe this will sway your decision." N'Tevelle spoke lustfully before taking one of Zulara's nipples in her mouth and starting sucking.

Zulara wanted to protest but once she felt the suction on her tit, she lost control of her mind, all she could feel was the incredible vigor her lover's mouth had on her chest. She started moaning loudly as N'Tevelle switched breasts, she couldn't take it anymore and leaned into her lover's chest and started to suck one of her breasts.

There they were, two naked Kafkan, one pink and one teal, lying in the dark green grass of Neltexia, sucking each others breasts at the same time. Zulara felt like nothing could be more beautiful, N'Tevelle was right, how could she give this up?

"Oh Tev, suck it really hard!" Zulara whimpered out with her mouth still full of a nipple.

"Mmmmmmm" N'Tevelle moaned through the teat and started to massage the other one. Her mouth was incredible, it felt like her entire areola was in her mouth being sucked with such tenacity that she would suck it right off of Zulara's body.

Zulara on the other hand was no where near as skilled as her lover was at sucking but that didn't bother N'Tevelle, she preferred to be the one sucking, it made her pussy drench when she got a big fat nipple stuck in her mouth, having Zulara suck her own was just a bonus.

"Tev, I'm getting close!" Zulara purred out, her pussy soaking the grass her tits were in heaven being worshiped and sucked by her lover, she wished she could produce milk for her as a reward for such a magnificent tit sucking effort.

N'Tevelle started sucking as hard as she could applying as much suction to her lover's nipple, grouping and squeezing the other one. N'Tevelle's pussy was an even bigger mess than her partner's. They were perfect for each other, one got off on giving pleasure, while the other get off receiving it. The entire area that was once filled with the chirping and rusting noises of animals and leaves was now overtaken by the sounds of moans and slurping of hungry lips on a pair of boobs. N'Tevelle sucked as hard as she could like she was desperate to get milk from the bosom.

"Ahhh here it comes! Keep sucking!" Zulara was lost in a haze of pure bliss, her awareness was overtaken by the pleasure she was feeling. If she was asked where she was at that moment, she would not be able to answer. Her lips were quivering, no longer able to suck her lover's teat, her pussy started pulsating, spilling its juices every, she went limp and she climaxed unable to move.

She couldn't tell how long she was unconscious, or even if she had passed out, but the next thing she felt was N'Tevelle's hand lovingly stroking the back of her head as it sat nestled in her cleavage. She tried to move and speak but couldn't, her mind still trying to find its way through the haze of her climax.

"Shhhhh, you passed out for a short while love, just cuddle with me it will be alright." N'Tevelle whispered holding her close to her body. After a while Zulara was able to move and she raised her head and kissed her lover affectionately on her lips.

"I do love you Tev, and I will go with you to the island of outcasts. I can't give this up."

N'Tevelle smiled at her, returning a kiss as they laid there together losing track of time.

They agreed they would meet during night at their pond in two days, the last day before they were to take the Oath.

Zel-Sacc was waiting in her living room watching the vidscreen of the day's news when Zulara came back through the door. Their house was at the end of the street closest to the wooded area she had just came from, it was a modest home with only one level, two bedrooms, a kitchen, a bathroom and a living space. Kafkan were logical to a T, never needing anything more than what was necessary. She wasn't expecting her mother to be awake when she got home, it wasn't unusual except for the fact that the Mistress of Education had came and talked to them, she wondered if her mother had something to talk to her about.

Zulara said hello to her mother and dismissed herself to her room but just as she was leaving her mother spoke up.

"By the way Qinta said they are thinking of recommending you to the Custodian's of Scripture and Scholarly Research."

Zulara stopped in her tracks. She couldn't believe what her mother just said. Everyone knew they would only place a student in the Custodians if they felt certain they could become Queen. Custodians would spend their entire days studying, meditating and researching the scriptures. That's why they had the best chance from any other position in the Monarchy to become a Queen; they would know the teaching of the Goddesses better than anyone. Queens didn't have to be from the Custodians and not every Queen came from them, but the majority did and if they wanted to put her into it, they must have seen incredible potential in her.

"I can't believe it. They really think that highly of me?" Zulara asked still reeling from the shock.

"They do but Qinta didn't just come to tell me that, one thing that is holding you back is they aren't sure of your faith." Zel-Sacc said still watching her program as if they were talking about the weather.

Zulara suddenly felt defensive, like she was on trail. Her voice had a pinch of annoyance when she spoke.

"My faith has always been in the Goddesses teachings mother."

"Yes of course that is what I told Qinta, oh by the way what were you and N'Tevelle doing after work, you've been gone for quite a few hours." Her mother said it without a hint of emotion but the sentiment was there. Zulara knew they were worried about her relationship with N'Tevelle. And they had reasons to be she realized; she did just tell her she would become an outcast with her. But she swore that she and N'Tevelle did a good enough job of hiding their intimacy.

Zulara knew she had to calm down and collect herself before speaking. She slowly crossed the room and sat next to her mother, waiting for the discussion to progress. When her mother saw that she knew how important this conversation was she turned off the vidscreen and turned to face her daughter.

"I am not going to lecture on the importance of the teachings or site scriptures or talk about the wisdom of the Goddesses. I just want to know, as your mother, what you want in life."

"What I want?"

"Yes, not what your heart tells you, not what your brain tells you but what is most important to you. Our customs can be misunderstood by so many people. The time before the Oath is the time, we try to teach you that the mind is greater than the heart. Logic should be put above emotion. But as mortal beings we still feel emotions, and that is what most people get wrong. The Goddesses never say to ignore emotion, just to not let it be your guiding factor in life. Every generation has outcasts, the ones who can't ignore their emotions. We never judge them and we even understand them, we just don't agree with them" Zel-Sacc took her daughter hands in her own and held them before speaking again.

"Now what does your heart tell you?"

Zulara could barely look at her mother because she knew that her mother knew she was in love.

"That I want to be with N'Tevelle" Zulara answered in a voice barely more than a whisper.

Her mother put a knuckle under chin and raised her head up softly; the mother saw the emotion in her eyes, a mix of sadness and shame. "Don't be ashamed Zulara. Now what does your mind tell you?"

"That I should take the Oath and become a Custodian."

"You are an adult, you have been for a while now, this choice is yours my love. I will always be proud of you no matter what you choose. I am grateful that I get to say this to you, because if you do choose to live as an outcast, most parents never get to say goodbye to their daughters."

Zel-Sacc could see her daughter was on the verge of tears, she embraced her just as she started to cry holding her tight letting her cry on her shoulder.

For two days Zulara was completely torn. She loved N'Tevelle with all her heart. But she knew the right thing to do was to take the Oath. She spent most of the time reading scriptures and meditating, occasionally talking to her mother, but she didn't push her in one direction or the other, she mostly listened and let Zulara walk through it on her own. She was grateful for her mother, she knew some would try to push her to be a Custodian, but she just was there to listen, something that Zulara needed more than anything.

Zulara couldn't believe how fast time had went by, it was now evening and in just a few short hours she was to meet N'Tevelle at the pond. Her mind and heart were in a constant battle, both trying to pull her in one direction or the other. She now understood why her people put them through this test, to see what an individual Kafkan would follow. She took her time getting dressed, enjoying the view of her room for one of the last times she would be here, if she left with N'Tevelle she would never see it again, and tomorrow after the Oath she would be whisked away to her new role as a Custodian. She ran her hand along the surface of her bed, trying to imprint every inch of her room to memory. She sat at her station in the corner remembering the countless nights she would study her teachings. She turned on her small vidscreen not really watching anything, just to have her memory of all the times she needed a break and watch some of her favorite programs.

Zulara was dressed in long flowing hooded robes, black as the night itself. Everyone who traveled the wooded area knew to take a knife incase of stray predators, it was highly unlikely she would bump into one that close to her town but it wasn't unheard of. As she walked to her front door to leave, she heard a voice call out to her.

"Zulara, no matter what, I am proud of you my child" Her mother said from her opened door.

She hadn't even noticed her; she was in such a rush to meet N'Tevelle and was trying to sneak out. Walking to her mother, she kept hearing a voice in the back of her head. What if this is the last time you see her? What if this is the last time, you'll be welcome back into their society? Would you bring disgrace upon your mother and her family? Her lineage would stop if you chose to go with N'Tevelle.

Zulara slowly made it over to her mouth, her head down looking at the floor, feeling unable to raise it, either for fear or shame she could not tell. Zel-Sacc took her daughter in her arms, she could feel her head start to shake, realizing she was trying to hold back tears. She whispered softly into her ear as only a mother could with a soothing voice.

"I love you my daughter. Do not worry about me or anything else. You have to decide what is best for you. Your heart or your mind. Once you figured that out, life will make sense."

The night was brighter than usual as she made her way towards the pond; Neltexia had two moons, Melga and Yekkel. Melga was the further one and almost visible every night. While Yekkel, the closer one, was only visible for a couple days at a time, but when it was it would brighten the world at night. The forest was colorful as well, some plants would glow neon colors, and even some bugs would too. It would be something unique and magical for an alien to see, but to Kafkan it was just home.

Zulara hoped that she would make it there before N'Tevelle giving her time to still think about her decision, but as she got closer to the pond, she realized it was N'Tevelle waiting on her. The chirps and howls of the fauna filled the area, the cool night's breeze was mostly held at bay by the trees and their branches, but every once in a while, she could feel a cool chill across her face. The air was damp from the pond and smelled of mildew. Her boots made squishing sounds as she got closer, walking in mudded areas.

N'Tevelle was sitting on a log they had cut out a few years ago and made into a type of bench for them to use, she smiled when she saw Zulara coming from the tree line making her way to her. She wasn't a hundred percent sure her lover would come; Zulara was always devoted to the Goddesses. She stood up quickly and rushed over to her, throwing her arms around her and not noticing the apprehension on her lover's face.

Their bodies pressed together, smashing their chests against one another, bringing pleasure to each of their bosoms, they held each other for a moment, Zulara was the one to break it.

"Tev... We need to talk" She said as she took her peer by the shoulders to look her in the eyes.

"What are you having second thought?" N'Tevelle questioned in a mocking tone.

"I have been recommended to become one of the Custodian's of Scripture and Scholarly Research."

"Yeah so, what does that mean? You think you are gonna be Queen now?"

"Tev, will you listen to me before interrupting? This is serious, we both know that being picked as a Custodian doesn't guarantee anything but it is significant, it is at least something we should talk about, and if feel the way about me as you say you do, you'd understand that and listen."

N'Tevelle heard her and she made a point. The Custodians was a huge step for any Kafkan and she wondered herself what she would do in Zulara's position. But at the end of the day, she didn't see how it changed much of anything. They were both in love with each other and while she had her doubts about whether she would take the opportunity to be one herself, she knew that she loved Zulara and that was all that mattered to her. Having the joy of companionship meant more to her than even becoming the Queen.

"I don't see what there is to talk about, unless you are thinking about staying here and leaving me."

Zulara looked at the ground when she said that, trying to find the strength within her to say what needed to be said. Her mind knew what to do; the choice was simple, except for the pounding in her chest, a pounding that was calling her to take her lovers hand and rush to their new lives together. But her mind was too powerful, even for her heart. The right thing to do was to become a Custodian, to live out the life the Goddesses preached, to make sure her lineage didn't die with her, to one day find the race that was their match.

"N'Tevelle, I can't go with you, this is too important. Everything I have worked for, every meditation, every late-night study, has been for this. Even you know that it is the right thing to do. We were born differently, your path is the way of the heart, and mine is the way of the mind. We shouldn't judge each other. We should be happy for the time we had together and move on to what our lives will bring us. I could sit here and beg you not to become an outcast but I know that is not possible. Your heart is too powerful, and that's fine. I wish you the best and for whatever it is worth I did love you, with all my heart."

Zulara could feel the aching in her ex-lover through her stare. She stood there looking at her without emotion on her face; all her feelings could be felt through her eyes. N'Tevelle turned from her and walked to edge of the pond, remembering the countless times they spent here. She couldn't believe that it was all for nothing. Her heart was broken and she was trying to hold back her tears, not wanting to show Zulara how much she had hurt her. She knew that Zulara had made up her mind, there was no changing it. The few moments of silence seemed like an eternity, finally she turned to her ex and spoke softly, in a trembling voice.